Baked Beans

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for
baked beans.  He loved then. but he always had a very embarrassing and
somewhat lively reaction to them. Then, one day, he met a girl and fell
in love with her.  When it was apparent that they would marry, he
thought to himself, she is a sweet and gentle girl and will never go
for this kind of carrying on.  So, he made the supreme sacrifice and
gave up the beans.  The were married thereafter.  Some months later, his
car broke down on the way home from work and since they lived in the
country, he called her and told her that he would be late getting home
because he had to walk.  On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the
odor of freshly baked beans was overwhelming.  Since he still had
several miles to walk, he figured that he would work off any effects
before reaching home, so he stopped at the cafe.  Before leaving, he
had eaten three large orders of baked beans.  All the way home, he
put-putted and after arriving, felt reasonably sure that he had putted
his last.  His wife seemed somewhat agitated and excited to see him
and exclaimed: Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner
tonight.  She then blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head
of the table.  He seated himself and just as she was ready to remove
the blindfold, the telephone rang.  She made him vow that he would not
touch the blindfold until she returned.  Then she went to answer the
phone.  Seizing the opportunity, he shifted his weight to one leg and
let go.  It was not only loud, but as ripe as a rotten egg.  He took
the napkin from his lap and vigorously fanned the air around him.
Things had just about returned to normal, when he felt the urge come
on again, so he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again.
This was a true prize winner.  While keeping his ear on the phone, he
went on like this for 10 minutes, until he knew the phone farewell
indicated the end of his freedom.  He placed the napkin in his lap and
folded his hands on top of it and smiling contently to himself was the
perfect picture on innocence.  When his wife returned she asked if he
had peeked and he said no.  At that point, she removed the blindfold
and revealed his surprise.  

Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a birthday party 
for him.