You Know You've Been Watching Too Much Stargate

When...

1) You hear the name Dr. Jackson and are surprised

when he doesn't look anything like Daniel.

2) You wonder where Naquadah would fall on the

periodic table.

3) You name your pets after characters from the show.

4) You wander up ramps knowing there must be a

Stargate at the end of it.

5) You take an astronomy course just to make sure that

all the science in the show is correct.

6) When hearing about black holes, you think of a

doughnut and an apple.

7) You actually ponder about getting a tattoo like

Teal'c's.

8) You stroll through the anthropology department

looking for a Danny Clone.

9) Look at anyone dressed in Air Force blues and see

if they are Sam or Jack.

10) Say "Ya think?", "Good morning Campers", or

"Sweet" in most conversations.

11) Start writing fan fic constantly in the Stargate

universe.

12) Join a mailing list about one of the characters or

RPG.

13) Laugh when seeing a Jaffa cake.

14) Watch 'Third Watch' only to laugh at the producers

name (chulack).

15) Have a collection of Stargate VCR tapes.

16) Redecorate your apartment, etc. with an Egyptian

theme.

17) Start learning glyphs.

18) Actually memorize planet designations.

19) Start calling your friends Sam, Jack, Daniel,

George, or Janet although their names are not that.

20) Stare at the night sky hoping to see a Tollan

signaling device go off.

21) Be a bit more wary when seeing 'great balls of

light' in the sky.

22) Start thinking that napkin hats (Shar're) actually

look really good.

23) Own a Danny floppy hat.

24) Stare at a toilet flushing since it reminds you of

a wormhole horizon.

25) Go wandering in the forest hoping to see a

Stargate and/or SG-1.

26) Buy a huge black watch and pretend it is a GDO.

27) Get paranoid about empty corners.. Could there be

a Re'tu?

28) Refer to episodes by their initials- and have

people understand you.

29) You go to a convention and talk Stargatese.

30) Refer to any of the actor's by their character.

ex. Jack's actor, Sam's actor..

31) You're enjoying a lunch time read and somebody

outside yells "Jack, will you please stop chasing

Daniel up that tree".... which causes you to choke.

32)-you watch the Eurovision Song Contest [that in

itself is a sign that you have a serious problem] and

the country which were dressed up as American Indians

immediately reminds you of 'Spirits' and in a half

drunken state you try to explain the plot of the

episode to everyone.

33)- ...or you watch Tonight at the Paladium and/or

Stars in Their Eyes and realize *that's* what they did

with the second gate.....

34). You get a phone call at work from a Dr. Jackson

to tell you Jack O'Neill

has died and you want to scream down the phone 'NOOO,

how? Who?'.

35) - You can't listen to "Grease Lightnin'"

because...well, YOU know why...

36) - Your diet consists of choco-walnut cookies and

coffee.

37) - For Halloween, you wrap yourself in a bedsheet

and draw an "X" on

your stomach. Hey Presto! You're Sha're!

38) - You watched "The Mummy" About 80 times, even

though you thought it

really sucked.

39) - Or you watched the Mummy about 80 times even

though it sucked because

you were imaging Daniel as the lead character

40). When your friend says she's going to put Daniel

to bed you spit your

beer all over the table and fall off your chair before

you remember her

two-year-son is called Daniel.

41). You give your best friend the nickname

Spacemonkey.

42). Or you watched the Mummy & thought Hmmmm, I

wonder if those scarabs are related to the bugs in

Nemesis.

43)- You erect a hula hoop in your garden and call it

"The Chappa'ai"

44)- You spouse/mother/sibling comments on the symbols

drawn on said hula hoop

45)- You call your home clothes "Civvies"

46)- You call your pet mice "Sha're" and "Teal'c"...

47)- You say everything tastes like chicken, even when

you're a vegetarian.

48) You use words like "ASAP" "AWOL" and "Stand down"

in every day conversation, although totally out of

context.

49)- Before you leave the house, you insist on

"Dialing out"

50) You hear strange noises that sound like a stargate

coming out of the wardrobe, a la "Legacy"

51) When you're sick, you claim it's nothing "some

chicken soup and a good sarcophagus " won't cure.

52) You don't need glasses, but you wear them anyway.

53) You stay up all night deciphering artifacts....

54)...despite the fact they're rocks...

55)...you got them from your back garden....

56)...and they have nothing written on them.

57) You play with a Major Matt Mason doll, (NOT A G.I

JOE!!!!), even though

you're 23 and should know better.

58) You cut up an onion and the rings come apart like

the Goa'uld transporter thingies.

59) You see an advert in a travel agents for a flight

to Goa and think

immediately of... well I bet you are all thinking it

too:)

60) You start to daydream every time a van drives past

from a local cleaning firm as it has 'Daniel' written

on it in big letters.

61)- ... or you watch Top of the Pops and you realize

that they stole both

the Stargates...

62) You briefly glance at The English Patient as you

walk through the living room and muse on how much

Ralph Fiennes resembles Sokar.

63) You set a catalogue in the mail from a 'specialty

clothing' company with a model (in very interesting

skimpy outfits cause clothes just doesn't quite

describe what the

models are wearing if you get my meaning!) Anyway the

model is standing on a

ramp and the first thing you notice is the large ring

in the background that looks amazingly like the

Stargate! It even has a bunch of pictographs around it

and one is the eye of

Ra!

64). you drive all through your country to see an

exhibition (Egypt 2000

B.C.) and the first thing you say is "Abydos!" and no

one understands why you're so thrilled!

65) Or you know they open a new Egyptian museum in

your city, and although you

know there isn't something very valuable there you're

willing to go just in case... you found something

goa'uldish which they don't recognize...

66) You're watching 3 Faces of Eve in psychology, and

think every time she

changes personalities, "She's not mentally ill! She's

a Goa'uld!"

67) When you're watching the New James Bond Movie on

video, and you happen to

glance up during the opening credits, and see 'Iris

Code' listed among

them

68) You see a Subaru Legacy and say to on one in

particular, "That has got to be

one of my favorite episodes!" Then your hubby looks at

you as if you are a nut

case and says, "What are you talking about?"

You point to the car in front of you and say "Legacy

of course!"

69) When you're at work, you read Tok'ra instead of

Tokay

70) You're in the middle of an aerobics class and the

instructor

says "jack" and you say "where?" more loudly than you

anticipated and

everyone looks at you so you get the fit of giggles

for the rest of

the class.

71). You can't look at the angstrom sign anymore

without thinking, "Where are the other six symbols?"

72). You name your cat Schroenger.

73). You contemplate having your head shaved since

Teal'c can pull it off.. why can't you?

74) Hear anything about Cheyenne Mountain and wonder

if the secret about the Stargate is out..

75) You build your own Goa'uld hand device and insist

upon showing it off to your friends.

76). even if they don't know a thing about Stargate.

77).. and insist that the only reason it doesn't work

is because you haven't found a Tok'ra symbiote yet.

78) Look at a currycomb and wonder why it looks so

much like the Goa'uld healing device.

79) Insist upon having a UV light installed in your

room.

80). to make sure the reason your computer is crashing

is not from alien beings trying to communicate with

you.

81) You hear the 'Funeral of Unas' and think 'no one

told me we killed off another one'!

82) You think of a smiley face when confronted with

ketchup, mustard, and a clean plate.

83) You have debates about which of Daniel's haircuts

looks better. (first season!!)

84) 'Spacemonkey' doesn't seem like an odd nickname.

85) Hannah is an exclamation- not a name.

86) You have a collection of Stargate badges.

87) You plan vacations to Vancouver, B.C.

88) Your computer wallpaper is Stargate related.

89) ...along with your screen saver.

90) ...and you have Stargate sound clips loaded on

your computer.

91) .... in place of the Windows dings and chimes.

92) You have taken a Stargate trivia test.

93) . and scored 100.

94) ... and thought that you should create your own!

95) Contemplated if you should put an apostrophe in

your name.

96) Find yourself starting every sentence, "With all

due respect."

97) Count how many different descriptions you can

think of for the Event Horizon.

98) Start laughing when you hear that someone lives on

Asgard Avenue.

99) You sneeze so much that people start calling you

Daniel.

100) You watched a movie just because one of the

characters was named Colonel Sam Jackson. (All they

need was Teal'c as a middle name)

101) Whenever you hear someone say, "It tastes like

chicken," you wonder if they're eating macaroni and

cheese.

102) You just hate clichés.

103) You start calling your boss "Apophis."

104) You wonder if you've had your real identity

`stamped' over.

105) You want your license plate to read "DTHGLDR"

106) Your reply to every vaguely obvious statement is,

"Ya' think?"

107) Your reply to every request is, "Yeah, sure, you

betcha'."

108) Whenever you see the letters AU you assume they

must stand for `alternate universe.'

109) You think SG-1 really IS a good name for a team.

110) Whenever you see the letters NC-17, you think of

AQ.

111) You realize how humorous it is having a cat named

C.K.

112) The word 'share' came up at the top of the screen

and your first thought was "What does this have to do

with Sha're?"

113) You are sitting in a board meeting reading

documents and the initials of the members are on the

side and you notice two JA & CK next to each other and

shout out "Look that spells JACK"

114) When you hear a certain KFC radio ad that

involves a certain COLONEL talking

To a worried SAM about how her hubby DANIEL will eat

after she goes out for the night ... *humph* Your

first reaction was "EW! Daniel and Sam are practically

family, they can't be married!"

115) Try explaining "General SG-7, Stargate Command"

as the sig. on an email to your boss

116) You have to try and explaining to everyone why

you wear Dog Tags though you are not in the military.

117) You start referring to yourself as Tauri.

118) Actually pondered if you were a JD, DS, or a SJ

shipper.

119) Had a debate with someone about if Janet is

married or not. (and you know who Janet is!)

120) You try and convert your friends to your

addiction.

121) You start laughing when you see a preview for the

movie "Get Carter".

122) You know the english translation of 'Kree'!

123) You have to watch an episode of Stargate a day,

no matter that you've seen all your recorded episodes

a million times.

124) You watch an episode of Stargate when it is on TV

although you own the episode on video.

125) You own more than one version of "Stargate" aka.

Widescreen, special edition, DVD

126) You had to get a black leather jacket.

127) While watching "Matter of Time" you figured out

how much time actually occurred during the whole

episode.

128) You've figured out Sam must live on base- for she

has no apartment/house! (she does have a lab though)

129) You own the books based off of the movie Stargate

and the series.

130) You start liking songs just because they remind

you of a shippy moment in Stargate, not because you

like the artist.

131) When you hear an alarm that sounds exactly like

the gate activation alarm you wait for several armed

people to surround a circle and wait for a wormhole to

appear.

132) When you like the movie "Event Horizon" for all

the wrong reasons (you like because the actor Sam

Neill is in it, besides the fact that a Stargate is on

board).

133) You see a sandwich with 'H/C' on it but can only

think of 'Hurt and Comfort'.

134) When someone knocks on your door you reply that

you need an iris code before you'll let them in.

135) You paint your phone red and ask all callers,

"Son, do you know color this phone is?" in an

authoritative voice.

136) You distrust anyone named Seth.

137) You call your children to dinner by yelling,

"[name of child], KREE!"

138) When you visited the Royal British Columbia

Museum in Victoria, Canada you blurt out when watching

a video they play there, "What is Hammond doing on a

BOAT?!?" and having the people around you stare at

you.

139) You gladly explain to anyone around you who and

what a Danielite is.

140) Trips are planned around Vancouver so you can

find the places where certain episodes were shot.

141) You created more than one webpage devoted to

Stargate.

142) You laughed the whole time you read this list!

143) You have become obsessed with hockey.

144) When you watch "Broken Arrow" your first response

to seeing the actor playing a general is "Oh My God,

what is Tok'ra dad doing there and why isn't his last

name Carter?"

145) You know what the nickname Tok'ra Spice means.

146) You did the Happy Dance when they finally brought

back the Chevron guy for the fourth season.

147) You can easily have an eight hour conversation

about Stargate although you're the only one that

really watches the show.

148) You have coffee in your kitchen although you

don't drink coffee.

149) You start a coffee addiction.

150) Seeing any of the actors from Stargate on TV is

enough for you to stop channel surfing even though the

show is not Stargate related.

151) Start plotting how to make a music video that is

Stargate related.

152) You sit your roommate down in front of the TV and

force him/her to watch hours of Stargate.

153) You plan on attending a Sekh's Party. (say it out

loud, you'll get it)

154) You don't think the wrong thing when saying

Sekh's Party.

155) You think that a fountain that you walk by

everyday starts to look like a Stargate, wormhole

horizon and all.

156) You begin to think of attending archaeology digs.

157) You begin seeing Stargate related things in other

sci-fi shows.

158) You know the address of the production studio.

159) You can recite the names of the producers,

writers, etc.

160) Ordering Stargate DVDs doesn't sound odd to you

although you don't own a DVD player.

161) You start teaching all your friends the meaning

of kree and sho'va.

162) You create new Stargate related lyrics to popular

songs.

163) Your favorite song is now "Mambo Number 5" .. aka

"Mambo Number P3X-595"

164) You try and figure out the star coordinate

system.

165) Naming planets PX7-393 sounds like a good system

to use.

166) You can name all the SG teams and the titles to

each.

167) When you get the same fingerless black gloves

what Jack has.