Kathryn Janeway walked numbly into her quarters, heading straight for her bedroom. There, she collapsed across the bed, all plans of showering gone as she fell immediately asleep.

Hours later, she had no idea how many, she awoke. Aware she was covered in dirt, sweat and blood, she shuffled tiredly into the bathroom to shower. She wasted no time, quickly finishing and wrapping herself tightly in a bathrobe before heading back to bed. This time at least, she managed to climb beneath the blankets before sleep enveloped her once more.

**********

This continued for days. Janeway left her bed only for water and to shower every now and then. Time had no meaning for her as she slept away more hours every day. Her absence from the bridge and the rest of the ship didn't go unnoticed, and people were beginning to worry why they never saw their Captain.

After five days of this, five days since Janeway and the surviving half of her away team beamed back abourd the ship, the doctor decided it was time he looked in on the Captain.

**********

He had heard of the tramatic experiences of the away team, had counselled several crewmen about their experiences. Janeway was the only one he hadn't yet seen, checked for injuries, and given mandatory time off.

He knew the Captain would be grieving more than anyone else, and had chosen to simply give her some time. But when she didn't answer his comm hails, he immediatly grabbed a medkit and headed to her quarters, wondering if he had made an error in judgement by waiting this long to contact her.

**********

Once there, she wouldn't answer her doorchime, either. The doctor quickly keyed in his medical override, half expecting to see her lifeless body sprawled in her front room when the door opened.

Finding the living room empty, he walked back toward her bedroom. "Captain?" he called, hoping for an answer. He didn't get one. "Captain," he tried again, still not getting a response.

He found her a moment later, asleep in bed, breathing deeply and evenly. He was not surprised to find she hadn't commited suicide, but hadn't dismissed the possibility, either. A passionate, strong-willed woman such as her, in such an unbelievably heartbreaking time might, after all, do something rash.

Pulling his tricorder out, he tried to wake her. "Captain Janeway," he said softly, without response. He tried it louder. She only woke when he placed a hand on her shoulder, and shouted "Captain!"

She jumped awake, squinting to see who was there. "Computer, lights to one quarter," she mumbled weakly.

The room was barely lit, only enough for her to see who her guest was. She groaned, rolling over to her other side, the motion making her groan again.

"Captain," the doctor said sternly. "I must insist that you report to Sickbay immediately. I know you need to work through your loss, but I need to ensure that you are healthy!"

Janeway merely shrugged, the slight movement of her shoulder the only way he knew she had heard him.

He walked around to the other side of the bed to see her face. There, he saw tears streaming silently from her eyes. "Have you even left this bed since you got here?" he asked her, unsure if he really wanted his question answered. "I know you haven't left your quarters," he explained. "But--"

"Shower," Janeway mumbled. "And water."

The doctor understood what she was telling him. Had she only been drinking water since she returned? He walked quickly to the replicator, finding she had indeed only replicated six small glasses of water in the past five days. No other computer activity was recorded, with the exception of lights the three occasions on which she had activated the sonic shower.

He walked back over to the bed. "Captain, either you will walk under your own power to Sickbay," he said authoritatively. "Or I will have you beamed there!"

She moved an arm in a weak attempt to untangle herself from the blankets. Trying to sit up, she failed, flopping back down onto the bed before she had gotten too far. There was no way she could stand, much less walk. "Beam me," she directed weakly, through fresh tears, these too, unaccompanied by sobs. "Bring clothes," she said in the same tone, remembering she was wearing only her bathrobe.

She fell asleep again before the doctor had even called for the transport.

**********

Once in Sickbay, after noticing she was once more asleep, the doctor scanned her. The damage he found to her body was more than he expected, more than he would have thought she would avoid treatment for.

He found two broken ribs, and a third was cracked. Her left hand was stiff and immobile, a factor of three broken fingers and extensive muscle damage. Her body was covered with scratches and small cuts, most of them all but healed by now. She had the residual bruising from a black eye, and a similar-colored bruise marred her opposite cheek. There was a fairly deep gash across one thigh, a deep cut on her other calf. An ankle was badly sprained, and there was evidence that her left shoulder had been dislocated, then put back in. Her body was covered in bruises, most faded to faint purple, the worst ones a shade of sickly green or yellow. He found internal damage, as well; bruised kidneys that would have been painful enough by themselves.

The doctor worried about why she wouldn't have come to see him for such extensive injuries. He watched as she slept, events of her dreams playing out over her face.

In her dreams, Janeway relived every painful memory of the failed away mission.

**********

"I'll lead an away team down to trade for supplies," Janeway said, thinking that would end the staff meeting. Others had different ideas.

"Captain," Chakotay spoke up. "I'd like to go with you."

"And why is that, Commander?" she asked with a soft smile.

"You need to take along a solid security team," he explained. "And someone to help with the trade diplomacy," he said, shooting her a smile that weakened her knees.

She was grateful she was sitting down. "I'd also like to take Lt. Torres and Ensign Kim," she said.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Alright then, if that's everything, Tuvok, have a security detail meet us in the transporter room in ten minutes. Outfit the entire team with phasers, and alert the surface that we're coming down. Dismissed."

They all filed out quickly, only Janeway and Chakotay remaining. The stepped close together, and Janeway wound her arms around his neck.

"You've got to stop volunteering for every mission I choose to lead," she scolded gently before quickly kissing him.

"And you," he said, kissing her longer. "Need to stop leading every mission!"

"I have led exactly 67 per cent of all away missions since we were married!" she defended.

Chakotay smiled, pulling her closer. "And you can't count the missions that happened when we were on our honeymoon," he pointed out. "You weren't available to lead those, so they don't count."

"Okay," she amended, quickly doing the division in her head. "82 per cent."

"Still about 80 per cent too much," he answered with a smile and a lingering kiss.

"We'd better get going," Janeway said with a laugh when they broke apart. She took his hand, entwining her fingers with his, and they walked to the transporter room.

**********

They materialized in the middle of a huge room, one that looked like a main transportation center. A woman in a blue fitted uniform came over to them, clasping both of Janeways hands in her own.

"Welcome to Oktaru," she said warmly. She looked closely at the rest of the away team. "I'm glad you brought a large security team with you," she said, significantly lowering her voice so no one around them could possibly overhear.

"Will I need them?" Janeway asked, lowering her voice to match the woman's.

"I hope not," she answered, releasing Janeway's hands. "Good luck," she said, before disappearing into the growing crowd.

"That was interesting," B'Elanna commented.

Janeway nodded. "Yes, it was," she agreed. "I don't want to spend any more time down here than we have to," she said. "Kim, Torres, and half of the security team will go look for the equipment we need. The commander and I will take the rest of the security team and try to procure the foodstuff. We'll contact you for a report in two hours."

The two five member groups split up, each heading off in their separate directions.

***********

The price Janeway ended up paying for the fruits, vegetables, and grains they found was a little high, but she knew it would supply them for weeks to come, so she reluctantly paid it.

"Janeway to Voyager," she said, activating her commbadge. "Can you lock onto the canisters in front of me and beam them up?"

"Aye, Captain," the transporter chief answered, and within seconds, the canisters dematerialized.

"Mission accomplished," she smiled, turning to Chakotay. She laced her fingers through his, and they began walking along the deserted street.

"Janeway to Torres," she said, deciding it was time to check in with the rest of their team.

"Torres here," B'Elanna answered.

"Any luck yet?" Janeway asked.

"We're close," she answered. "We just have to find a few transistor coils and the replacement stabilizer chip. One more stop should do it."

"We just finished," Janeway informed her. "Where are you? We can meet up there."

B'Elanna told her.

"That's not far; we should be there in ten minutes," Janeway told her. "Janeway out."

"Ten minutes?" Chakotay asked. "You know where we are?"

She just smiled. "I thought you said you were good at tracking," she joked.

"Tracking, yes," he said. "I don't have a great internal sense of direction."

"We beamed into the center of an 8-spoke hub," she explained. "We've covered the south and southeast branches, and they're up in the north spoke right now."

Chakotay shrugged. "If you say so," he said, content to let her lead the way.

Within just a few minutes, they could see the uniforms of the others just ahead. "Not bad," Chakotay said with an impressed smile.

"How are things going?" Janeway asked when they got close enough.

Harry answered, "We got the coils," he said, holding up a medium-sized, paper-wrapped package. "And the name of a trader on the Atsake continent who should be able to get us the chip."

Janeway nodded. "Good work," she praised. "Beam that back to the ship, and have them beam us to the other continent." She looked around a bit warily. "Has anyone heard anything more about why the security team is so necessary?"

Everyone just shook their heads, no one having heard of anything.

Janeway just shrugged of the sense of impending danger she felt, and communicated with the ship to effect their transport.

**********

They materialized on a street similar to the one they had just left, and Janeway quickly worked to get a clear mental picture of where they were.

"Voyager to Janeway," Tuvok's voice came over her commbadge.

"Janeway here," she answered.

"Captain, we are picking up a large ion storm approaching our position," he reported. "I would recommend beaming back to the ship until the storm passes, as we will have to move the ship to a save distance for the duration of the storm. This will put us out of transporter range, and we will be unable to communicate due to the storm's interference."

Janeway sighed in frustration. "How long do you think the storm will last?" she asked.

"We expect the storm to last approximately 4 point 2 hours," he answered.

She debated her options. According to Harry and B'Elanna, it could take that long just to track down this merchant for whom they were looking. And she hadn't discovered any real reason why they would be in any danger.

"Contact me again as soon as you're able," she decided.

"Captain, I should remind you that you are in a potentially hazardous environment-"

Janeway cut him off gently. "Thank you, Tuvok," she interrupted. "But we have enough to do to fill the time, and we'll keep an eye out for any 'potentially hazardous situations' while we're here," she assured him.

"Alright," the commander agreed. "Voyager out."

"Okay," she said, turning to the rest of her team. "Let's see if we can't track this person down."

**********