My Favorite Reasons Why Janeway is Better Than Picard

By A'Lehsen Paris

Written: June 1999

  1. She has more hair than all three previous Captains combined.
  2. She mutes the Doctor when he starts to get out of line.
  3. She hasn't let an adolescent fly the Federation flagship--yet!
  4. Voyager needs a female captain. Her captain must be willing to admit that they're lost and pull over for directions!
  5. Picard likes to talk his way through. Janeway likes to punch her way through.
  6. She looks better in sleepwear.
  7. SHE isn't French with a British accent!
  8. When Janeway lands her ship, it can take off again!
  9. Picard could never act like a prostitute to gain a tactical advantage.
  10. Three words: COMPRESSION PHASER RIFLE!!!!!!
  11. Janeway's holograms create useful things like doctors and lungs. Picard's holodecks create evil maniacal geniuses who yet again take over the ship!
  12. She doesn't have to point which way to go when they set off.
  13. She hugs her Vulcan from time to time.
  14. Had a dog and a signifigant-other, not some #@!$ fish!
  15. Q asked Janeway to run away with him and she refused. Q asked Picard's girlfriend to run away with him, and she accepted!
  16. Her security chief hasn't been eaten by a tar monster.
  17. Has kids and they're cute little amphibians.
  18. Kirk looked good in ripped shirts. (no arguement there!) Picard looked good without a shirt. (yeah, he did!) Janeway would look--no, they can't do that on network television.
  19. Janeway's holoprograms fall in love with her. Picard's holoprograms try to kill him.
  20. Picard's Betazoid is a psychologist. Janeway's Betazoid is a psychopath.
  21. Picard's First Officer never complimented his legs. (For which we are very grateful!)
  22. Janeway never tried to assimilate the races of the Federation.
  23. Janeway has an unlimited supply of shuttlecraft.
  24. Neat-looking folding warp nacelles.
  25. Her CONN officer can use contractions.
  26. Picard's crewmembers become Maquis. Maquis become Janeway's crewmembers!
  27. Hostile aliens surrounding her, half her crew are spies, the nearest help is 60 years away,and she's still managed to keept her ship in one piece.

Note: These are not mine, I'm not sure who wrote them, so I can't give that person credit. Whoever you are, thanks!

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