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Chick Shit for Chic Chicks - 09/05/01
By Melissa Paternick
Published each Wednesday
This past Labor Day our town had it's annual salute to labor, in which I was a featured
attraction!!
Ralph arranged for me to show the whole town what I do for a living and he also told everyone that I was available
for private shows for only $5.99.
I guess many people were curious to see what I did because there was a huge turnout!!! Even though the temperature
was well above 100 degrees, I danced non stop for 4 hours!!!
When I was done, I immediately started on the private shows in the tent Ralph had set up in the middle of the town
square. Everything went well until I met up with my 27th customer.
He was an older man, probably in his 70's. I told him what I was going to do and he sat down to watch. I was doing
my famous back bend when he suddenly jumped up and pulled a whip out of his pants!!!
"Who's your daddy?" he screamed as he gently whipped me.
I told him who my father was, but he asked the question again!!! I figured he knew I was lying because I really
don't know who my real daddy is since he ran away when I was very young, so I told him my step father's name.
I guess this wasn't the answer he was looking for either. He kept on asking the same question and I kept on getting
the answer wrong so he continued to whip me.
I answered with the names of famous men and also some women in case it was a trick question, but my answers weren't
pleasing him. My back was sore from being whipped, but this was Labor Day and it was my job!!!
I guess I was confused or something because when he asked me the question, for what turned out to be the last time,
I screamed "You are!"
He stopped whipping me and sat down and smiled. I continued to dance for a little longer and then he left.
Even though my back was quite sore, I continued doing the shows. When I was done, Ralph told me that I had done
183 shows, which must be a world's record!!!
We counted our money when we got home and found that we had made $18.00!!!! I was very happy and Ralph made me
happier when he told me that he had taken quite a few IOU's, so that would at least double the $18.00 when we collected
it!!!
Bye!!!
NEXT WEEK: My vacation!!!
Email Melissa
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