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Chick Shit for Chic Chicks - 09/12/01
By Melissa Paternick
Published each Wednesday
I am a little bit angry right now!!
Instead of going on vacation, I am going to have to spend a week in jail because I killed someone!!!
I didn't mean to, but I guess probing myself with a birdbath during my dance routine caused an old man to have
a heart attack and die!!
I didn't know this had happened until I was home and packing for the vacation when the police showed up. They asked
me to demonstrate what I had done at the bar that night, so I did.
Well, they sure did seem to enjoy the mini show I put on for them, but when I was done, they put the handcuffs
on me quite fast!! I was then driven to the police station and booked for murder!!!
I went to court the next day and was told what happened to the old man at the bar. The judge told me that since
the man that died was very old, I would only need to spend a week in jail, but he would allow me to go home for
a few days before I had to serve my sentence.
So, that's where I am now. Tomorrow I start serving my hard time, so I'm going to have to write my column for next
week from jail!!! I have heard that they do read all outgoing mail and edit it, so I don't know what next weeks
column will look like. I just hope that they put me in a cell with someone who has been there for a long time,
so I can have someone to take care of me.
I told Ralph he doesn't have to wait for me. He told me he will try to bear with being apart from me for as long
as he can, but he can't make any promises. Now do you see why I love him so much?
NEXT WEEK: I'm a jailbird!!!
Email Melissa
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