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Chick Shit for Chic Chicks - 09/26/01
By Melissa Paternick
Published each Wednesday
I'm still in jail!!
I was only supposed to be in for a week, but my stay was extended because I was in a fight the first day I was
incarcerated!!!
I was put in a cell with a rather large woman who told me that I going to be her bitch. This excited me because
I figured that I had been put in a cell with someone who would protect me and teach me the prison way of doing
things, kind of like what happened in prison movies.
Boy, was I wrong!!! She wanted me to do weird things to her which, even though I had done them many times before,
I couldn't do to her because I didn't know her that well.
When I told her this I guess she got a bit angry because she started to slap me around. When Ralph does that to
me, it's for love, but I knew that my cellmate wasn't slapping me for love, so I started to slap her back.
Pretty soon we were rolling on the floor slapping and biting each other. The guards must have heard the commotion
because they came very quick and separated us. I tried to explain that it wasn't my fault, but they must have not
believed me because they suspended my tv and library privileges, extended my jail time to two weeks and put me
in a cell with a bald woman who constantly drools. Yuck!!
Since my library privileges were revoked, I couldn't use the internet to post my column last week. I had to write
this and mail it to Bob promising him some special favors to type it and post it.
Being in jail has given me some time to think and go over some new dance moves. Ralph has visited a few times and
had me rub my naked breasts on the plexiglass that separated us because he said he saw it in a movie once and
it turned him on.
I should be released this coming weekend. I'm sure Bob can't wait.
Hugs and kisses!!!
NEXT WEEK: Freedom!!
Email Melissa
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