I'm Pissed! for 05/01/00 & 05/04/00

05/01/00
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I'm Pissed!

By "John Stevenson"

So, the cast of "Friends" want a huge pay raise.

And they are worth it because?????

My honest opinion is the show really sucks. I don't like it, so neither should you.

It seems to me that they want more money because they know they have no where else to go. Movie careers? Please. Maybe Lisa ..Maybe.
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Matt can go back and star in "Ed 2". Nothing funnier than a movie with a baseball playing monkey.

Jennifer? Maybe if she learned to use a different facial expression. She annoys me.

David has a voice that gets on my nerves. Therefore, no movie career for him.

Matthew is not funny. If he was one of my friends, we would have kicked the crap out of him a long time ago.

Courtney will always be known as the beanpole that danced with Bruce Springsteen in that music video. I prefer to block out all of the titles of his songs cause he annoys me too.

Bottom line is, fire the whole cast. Get new people. Have the current cast of friends die in a horrible drive by shooting incident in the first episode of the next season.

I have no idea who should be in the new cast. I haven't thought that much about it. I just don't like the current cast.

So there.


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I'm Pissed! for 05/01/00 & 05/04/00

05/04/00
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I'm Pissed!

By "John Stevenson"

It amazes me that everyone is worried about Elian, Microsoft, if God is real, will Oprah get really, really fat again, etc., when there is a more serious problem that plagues normal people every day of their life:

Those bitches in the minivans.

These so called "soccer moms" have no business being on the road, much less driving. However, they are somehow allowed on the road, and the cries of other drivers are being unheard.

Give them a cell phone, and the problem only gets worse. Instead of concentrating on the road, they are talking with Patsy at the salon arranging a good time to get a pedicure, because they are too pudgy to bend over and clip their own toenails.

I had one of these soccer moms fly past me and cut me off as I was going the speed limit. She was in the merge lane and, for some reason, needed to get ahead of me. I can still picture the look of pure terror on her daughters face as they passed me. Well, maybe it wasn't terror, it might have been shock because I flipped them off and the little girl was the only one who saw it.

It bodes well for the future of today's youth when their mother is basically telling them it is okay to break a law, like the speed limit, as long as they don't get caught.

The beauty about this is either their jaw will fall of from radiation poisoning from using the cell phone too much, or the minivan will miraculously blow up while they are in it. Don't get me wrong, I do not
want the children in the van at the same time; the children can still be rehabilitated. However, the soccer moms are a lost cause.

Not everyone that drives a minivan is like this. This only pertains to the ones that I have seen on the road.

Now on to something different. In the last "Ask Bob", Bob seemed to have a problem with Nebraska and the Cornhuskers. Sorry if this offended anyone.

But everything he said was true.


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