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Stephen
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 Spacehog---"The Hogyssey"
Joey Ramone, R.I.P.
You know life is getting much better when you hear that Rosie can't host
a program because she's injured. News like that makes you notice the little things around you, such as the birds,
the crisp air and the little old lady in the alley getting knifed by the wino who needs 2 bucks to buy a can of
paint thinner so he can forget life for a few moments.
Yep, life is good.
Sorry if I offended anyone by not wishing them a Happy Easter. It's not like I forgot, it's just that I don't care.
It's Easter, and I have no use getting a basket full of candy and new underwear, because it just doesn't impress
me any longer. Besides, I could never bring myself to completely eat those cute little chocolate bunnies because
I know that every time I took a bite, the bunny would scream. Sure, it was silent, but it was still a scream that
I could mentally hear.
It got so bad that I would have a bunch of bunny heads sitting around my room because I couldn't eat the decapitated
head. NIghtmares ensued because I had billions of bodyless bunny heads watching me with their colorful eyes. Something
like that can and will fuck you up for life. Take it from an expert. I KNOW.
Onto the lovely reader mail!!
Len T. from Odessa TX:
"I travel quite a bit and have noticed that a lot of buses
nowadays have these things on the front so people can put their bikes on it so that they can ride the bus. Is this
something that is done everywhere?"
Nope. It is not done in Nebraska because Nebraskans haven't mastered the simple task of moving both legs at once.
Therefore, there are no bikes in Nebraska.
Walter A. in Schenectady, NY:
"Is Bob really smart or does he just use really big words
to cover up the fact that he is a complete moron?"
Yes.
Pamela F. in Louisville, KY:
"What's the point of me going on?"
Going on what? The ferris wheel?
Bob R. in Walla Walla, WA
"Green ketchup? What for?"
Walla Walla WA. Walla Walla WA. Just saying that over and over again amuses me. Really.
Chuck N. in Des Moines, IA:
"I'm such a dirty boy. I'm a dirty, dirty boy. I need to
be spanked. Will you spank me?"
Ummm.................sure?
Betty W. in Salinas, CA:
"Why was '3rd Rock from the Sun' cancelled?
It is my favorite show!!
Because it sucks.
You can go now.
COMING NEXT: The pros and
cons of innocence.
Click
Here if you wanna give Stephen "A Good, Ass Whuppin."
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