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 Outkast-----"Stankonia"
The other day I passed one of our millions of local Walgreen's and noticed
that they were advertising Nads for $24.95 with rebate.
Never one to pass up an excellent deal, especially one that deals with my testicles, I sent Jerome to the store
so he could pick up a box of Nads for me.
I figured that eventually my testicles would decide that they no longer want to work correctly. With Nads, I could
have some backup testicles sitting in my freezer, ready to go in case of a dire emergency.
Little did I know that Jerome has serious testicular problems, due to a ballpeen hammer game he played when he
was younger, and sending him to pick up Nads was a huge mistake.
In Jerome's neighborhood, every time a male kid said "liver patty", they were whacked with a ballpeen
hammer between the legs. Most of the neighborhood kids didn't get hit more than once, but Jerome had a thing for
liver patties.
Every Friday night was liver night at Jerome's house. When he was called to dinner, he started hopping up and down
screaming "liver patties" at the top of his lungs. After 4 or 5 whacks to his testicles, he was pretty
much in a pain induced coma. When he woke up, he would crawl home wondering why his balls felt like they had been
used as a punching bag.
It took Jerome quite a few years to figure out that as long as he didn't say "liver patties", his testicles
were pain free. But he figured this out a bit too late and now his testicles are the same consistency as Silly
Putty, and, according to x-rays, they look like half chewed meatballs.
Jerome did go to Walgreen's and he did pick up a box of Nads, but he did not give them to me. Instead, he decided
to take it home and try it out on himself because he had a hot date that night.
The next day he came to the office thoroughly pissed off. It seems that I was wrong and Nads is not actual replacement
testicles, but it is a cream that you spread on your testicles so that they can remain healthy and happy.
Okay, I don't really know how it actually works, but I do know that Jerome had an obvious allergic reaction to
the cream because he found out later that night that all his pubic hair had mysteriously disappeared.
Now Jerome's pissed off at me for sending him to the store and he's pissed at the makers of Nads because he claims
he feels like a "shaved cat" whatever that's supposed to mean).
Personally, I could care less how he feels especially since I don't have my testicle cream and I have no idea how
long the rebate is good for. This and the fact that we have to put up with Jerome scratching his crotch all day
long and then he has the gall to ask why his groin is raw and bleeding.
See what kind of shit I have to deal with?
COMING NEXT: I read a book and
I'm going to tell you about it.
Click
Here if you wanna give Stephen "A Good, Ass Whuppin."
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