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 Journey----"Arrival"
For some reason, it must be penis week here at theweirdcrap.com. I guess
most of us have nothing better to do than talk about male genitalia, but hopefully this will be the last thing
written about that topic for awhile.
Lisa M. from Minneapolis, MN asked:
"Why aren't there toilet paper holders next to the urinals in the men's room? I would think that, after done
peeing, a guy could simply tear off a small piece of toilet paper to wipe dry the end of his penis, instead of
walking out of the bathroom with a wet spot on the front of their pants."
In the late 1700's, the first urinal was invented in Kentucky when a trapper hollowed out a log and nailed it to
a wall in his cabin. He was tired of getting up in the middle of the night and walking outside in order to pee.
WIth the hollowed out log, he figured he could just pee in the log and empty it out in the morning. What he didn't
expect was that the pee would soak into the log, so he didn't have to empty or replace it until it began to smell
or it fell from the wall from too much weight.
People in the 1700's were very clean people, hence no disease and the wiping of the penis after a good pee was
normal. Generally, the rich men would wipe their penis with ashes. The poor would have to make due with anything
lying around, like dead rats or musket balls.
The trapper didn't have many extra wiping objects lying around, so he cut down a large tree and stripped off all
the leaves which he used to wipe himself dry.
The leaves were very coarse and, eventually, all the skin on his penis was completely rubbed off. He died shortly
afterwards from the pain and some sort of weird woodsman disease.
 In the early 1900's, the first porcelain urinal was invented in New York or
Texas. About this time, toilet paper was invented in Germany. People around the world rejoiced because they could
finally use both hands for eating instead of having a wiping hand and an eating hand.
Soon, there were toilet paper holders installed above every urinal. The man would pee and wipe the end of his penis
then hand the used toilet paper to the bathroom attendant who would rinse it out and place it with other used toilet
paper in order to make a new roll.
This came to an end in the 1930's when a severe outbreak of exploding penises happened around the world. After
extensive research, scientists came to the conclusion that small pieces of toilet paper were entering the tiny
hole at the end of the penis and becoming lodged in the pee tube.
The paper soon hardened and pee could not exit the body no matter how much effort was put forth. The afflicted
man would try to force the pee out by grunting and straining, but the pressure would eventually cause the penis
to explode.
Soon after this horrible outbreak, a law was passed prohibiting toilet paper holders to be placed within five feet
of any urinal.
I guess that's just the way it is.
COMING NEXT: I take you to my happy place.
Click
Here if you wanna give Stephen "A Good, Ass Whuppin."
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