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 Megadeth---"The World Needs a Hero"
Bob and I were throwing around some ideas on how we could make some money without actually doing any work. Bob
came up with the idea to start a site to help people pay stuff like parking tickets, but I had to break the sorry
news to him that that idea had already been tried by two brainiacs and it failed.
We finally came across the idea of internet liquor sales.
To minors.
We feel that it's a brilliant idea. We realize it's a pain in the ass to hang around outside a store trying to
find that right person who will agree to take your 10 bucks to buy a six pack of some fine, tasty brew for you
and your friends.
Kids could send us money either via the internet or through the mail and we would buy them their alcohol of choice
and have it delivered right to their front door, in a plain brown wrapper of course.
Imagine the surprise when you come home after a tough algebra test to find a comforting bottle of Jack Daniels
sitting on you front porch. Go ahead and smuggle it past mom, who's in the kitchen baking a fresh batch of chocolate
chip cookies, take it to you room, close the door, boot up the computer and enjoy hours and hours of internet pornography
with Jack. That's living.
No more embarrassment from being turned down by a stranger outside the local liquor store. No more waiting for
your older brother or sister to finish masturbating before they go to the store for you.
Nope, we'll take your money and send you nirvana. We predict that we could become multi-billionaires within a year.
Then we would have to do the obvious and invent something much better than Bill Gates has and pretty soon we would
run the world. Or, we could be thrown in jail. I'm sure will keep you updated on our progress.
I noticed a green light coming from my neighbors back yard and I assumed it could only be an alien so I did what
any red-blooded American would do and called the military.
Since I am in Nevada and there are aliens hidden in the desert, the military knew that I wasn't trying to pull
a practical joke on them.
They showed up in their tanks and jets and jeeps a few minutes after I called. The green light was still coming
from the back yard and the head military honcho decided to play it safely and drove a tank right through the house
to get to the Aliens.
My neighbors woke up and ran screaming into the night when the tank burst through their kitchen. The tank continued
on its path of destruction until it ended up in the back yard, teetering at the edge of the pool.
Boy, I felt silly when I found that the green light was actually coming from the pool! The next day I tried apologizing
to my neighbor, but the fucker isn't talking to me for some reason.
I have also been put on double secret probation with the military, whatever that means.
COMING NEXT: Ever wonder what a hairball
tastes like?
Click Here
if you wanna give Stephen "A Good, Ass Whuppin."
Snide_Remarks@weirdcrap.every1.net
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