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 Prince---"The Hits 2"
So, I'm sitting here feeling slinky and funky and it dawns on me that I have nothing to write about. Not that that
has stopped me before, but this time I am fresh out of ideas.
I could go off on Monica Lewinsky's sperm caked dress, but what's the point? Some pisshead loser will buy it when
she puts it on Ebay so he could rub his face in the stain every night as he drinks his glass of Ovaltine and eats
his graham crackers before he lays down to masturbate while watching a special episode of "Family Matters".
See? I have no ideas about Monica's cakey dress.
I could answer an email, that's always good for a few laughs.
Chuck N. in Iowa:
"Where's Jerome? Is he dead or something?"
Jerome is very much alive, Chuck. Due to his present state, he cannot move very well. For a demonstration, I would
be happy to come to your house and shove tubes up your ass and dick and see how well you perform. Better yet,
why don't you just go fuck yourself?
Nope, not even an asinine email from Chuck gives me fresh ideas. Something is obviously affecting me but I can't
figure out what it is.
Okay, I just watched my cat take a dump. I'm not to sure about this, but I don't think cats can blink when they're
pushing out some poop. She looked straight ahead and squeezed out a few poopies without blinking once. That's kind
of interesting.
Maybe their eyes and butthole are connected somehow and if they blink it causes their butthole to tense up causing
an unsatisfactory poop. This has got to be something they learn from their mother when they are kittens. Bet the
government would give me some money to do some research on that.
Now the cat's gone and I have nothing else to write about. I do have a human leg in the freezer that I should thaw
out for this weekend since we have guests coming over for bridge and tea and a good host always supplies fresh
meat.
COMING NEXT: I ran out of paper and now
I have to kill some trees.
Click Here
if you wanna give Stephen "A Good, Ass Whuppin."
Snide_Remarks@weirdcrap.every1.net
A new Lunatic Ravings pops up each Monday and Thursday. |
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