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Lunatic Ravings - 08/27/01
By Stephen Johnson
Published each Monday and Thursday
Widespread Panic--"don't tell the band"
Martha Stewart a Nazi? Wow. Bob surely pissed off a few people with that one.
So now it's my turn.
I'm going to look at the similarities between Monica Lewinsky and Chandra Levy. Parts of the following might astound
some people and might upset others, but I think some of this stuff is much better than the Lincoln/Kennedy similarities.
Did you know that both Chandra and Monica start with a consonant?
Both Chandra and Monica end with "a".
If you mix around the letters in Chandra, you get "Andrach". With Monica, you get "Nocima".
Amazing.
Their last names start "Le".
Their last names end with "y".
The their letter in Lewinsky is "w', while the third letter in Levy is "v". "V" precedes
"w" in the alphabet, but Monica preceded Chandra in fucking a politician.
.
Both are whores. (Ouch, that one hurt.)
One used a cigar for pleasure. The other used what, a big plug of chewing tobacco?
One is missing, the other is disappearing, but not quick enough.
Did I mention that they're sluts like the politician that they slept with?
DId you know that both wives of those politicians don't seem to mind what their husband did?
They have opened the door for more women to offer themselves to someone who is old enough to at least be their
father.
As you can see, the similarities are amazing. The one similarity between them is the fact that I could care less
about them or the parties involved. Maybe I'm old fashioned or have something called morals, but I don't trust
or respect someone who has an affair, because they prove they can't be trusted.
Oh, who am I kidding? I don't have morals. I just don't like women who think they can sleep their way to the top.
But, I don't see what you can get by sleeping with a politician. Maybe it's one of those chick things that guys
can't understand.
COMING NEXT: Spoons.
snide_remarks@weirdcrap.every1.net
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