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Lunatic Ravings - 10/08/01
By Stephen Johnson
Published each Monday and Thursday
Saliva---"Every Six Seconds"
I received an email stating that instead of killing Osama Bin Laden, we should capture him and send him somewhere
to have a sex change operation then drop him back into Afghanistan so he could be shunned and treated like shit
by the Taliban like they do to all women.
I thought about this for a little while and it is almost a good idea. I don't know what killing him would prove.
Capturing him so he could be tried in court wouldn't prove anything either. We know he's a psychotic asshole and
killing him would make him a martyr and trying him in court would take many years at great cost. I don't think
it's worth it.
He has to be punished in a new, different way. Sure, justice has to be served, but it can be served and he can
be humiliated at the same time.
We need to treat him like an animal. Actually, that's not fair to animals, so he would need to be treated like
something beneath the lowest life form.
I'm thinking of the Osama tour, where he could be locked in a plexiglass container and driven across the world
so everyone could catch a glimpse of a new life form. There's been others like him in the past, but a majority
of the people never got the chance to see this species up close.
Humiliation is the key here. Let him live in his own filth and let's feed him just enough to keep him going day
after day. Let him sleep, but not too much. When it looks like he's about time to fall asleep, shock him awake.
Test makeup and new drugs on him. Open his scalp and place electrodes on his brain in order to run tests.
This is not only for Osama, but all those that are affiliated with him. Let those that feel that they need to extract
some sort of revenge (except death) on them be given the chance to do so.
Inflict as much pain as possible on them and when they finally break down and go crazy and die, let's play The
Crusades and hang them somewhere. There is no use in pretending were civilized when we deal with these type of
people.
Dealing with the Taliban can actually be fun especially with the power of music. We've done it before and we sure
can do it again. I can guarantee that if we play Metallica's "Ride the Lightning" and/or Megadeth's "Rust
in Peace" and/or Strapping Young Lad's "City" blasting at full volume from mammoth speakers strapped
to helicopters circling over Taliban headquarters, they will give up with no resistance.
Just some of my opinions and I'll stick with them until something new and improved comes along. If you got some
ideas on how to treat Osama and those affiliated with him, send them in to me and we'll post the juicy ones here.
COMING NEXT: It's almost Halloween, but
I'm not going to write anything about it yet.
snide_remarks@weirdcrap.every1.net
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