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Alarmingly Strange Stories Binkle Bunny in Super Electronic by A.R.A. Owen |
| Fauna took in the situation at once. "Shit! I hope he hasn't fixed anything
else!" she yelled. Then added (quite unnecessarily because it happens in every episode) "I'll kill the
bastard!" Binkle emptied the pcb board out onto his little bench and got to work. "Ned'll thank me for this. He'll be so pleased." he whispered under his breath. "I wonder if they've discovered the leaking tap doesn't leak any more?" Fauna and Ned managed to get all the injured customers into the kitchen where they were hoping to bathe their eyes with cold water. Fauna rushed over to the cold water tap and tried to turn it on. At first she applied nominal strength. Then she gripped the top until her eyes were bulging out of her head. Bearing in mind that elves were at least three times as strong as your average human, this was no mean feat. "Gnnnnarrrrgh! I can't fucking shift this......neeeeeyaaargh!" There was a kind of sickening grinding noise rather like that of a shipwreck being disturbed. Then a fountain of mains pressure water blew Fauna across the room and a fountain punched a hole in the kitchen ceiling. To make things worse (for a certain bunny rabbit) Fauna had recieved the taps screw straight in her right eye and it was going to be a shiner. Binkle was busy with the soldering iron, deftly replacing components with newer bigger ones. "I wonder if they've found out I've fixed the freezer yet?" He smiled at the thought of all the praise he was going to receive. He would receive something alright, but it wasn't going to be praise. Fauna staggered to the freezer. Ned shouted across: "Fauna! Are you alright?!" Reaching for a bag of frozen peas, Fauna replied: "I'm fine Patrick." and then plonked a freezing cold bag onto her knackered eye socket. She closed the fridge door and tried to change hands on the bag she held. She couldn't let go. She put her free hand on the bag but found she couldn't take it off again. "Paul help me with this octopuss." Fauna wasn't really concussed much. Ned copped hold of the bag with both hands. Then he found he couldn't let go either. "What the fuck has that rabbit been doing with his bastard screwdrivers?!" Fauna was begining to get irritated. "Look Steve just pull!" Ned pulled, Fauna screamed, Fauna kicked Ned in his wedding tackle, Ned stopped pulling. Binkle sighed in satisfaction as he slid the main unit back into the mobile phone casing. "I wonder what they'll say when they discover the gas cooker is working better than ever?" he whispered. "I've got an idea." Ned gasped from the pain that still lingered in his private parts. He edged himself and Fauna towards the gas cooker. He slowly worked the knob for the nearest jet using his elbow. He was in serious pain now due to the super sub zero temperature of the frozen peas and it seemed to be taking forever to work the cooker controls in this way. Then he heard the satisfying hiss from the gas jet. He smiled to himself as he listened for the automatic ignition system to switch in. It made the slightest, tiniest click. Then they may as well have been standing in the center of an oil well. You know. The bit where they burn off the excess gas. "Fuck me stiff!!" yelled Ned in surprise. |
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