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Alarmingly Strange Stories Binkle Bunny in Super Electronic by A.R.A. Owen |
| There was the terrible smell of ozone and burning flesh. Not as terrible as the exploding
cellphone and the eight foot flight across the garage however. As he slid down the rear garage wall, Ned muttered
a brief: "Oh for fucks sake." and then passed out. Binkle was a bit narked. "Well I work my fingers to the bone making your phone work better and thats how you treat it. You ungrateful tosser!" he said and then kicked Neds inert body. One Month Later "Oh come on! There's no need for this!" screamed Binkle as he swung in a metal webbing above a family sized inflateable paddling pool. Bare wires trailed from the pool to a generator. Over the controls to this generator cackled a psychotic Ned. "Bunny die! Bunny going die!" he chittered insanely. People were lining up in front of Fauna who was busy taking money off punters for the "Dunk A Bunny Day" and funnily enough everyone who was involved in "Black Saturday" as it had become known. This included the emergency services, the insurance company (who had seriously considered hiring a hit man for the rabbit because it would be cheaper than future claims), the punters who for the most part wore hearing aids and dark sunglasses, and the phone company who were still rebuilding their network after Neds phone had sent an electrical "Tsunami" across the airwaves and blown fifty masts sky high across the entire country. At the front of the queue was the man who had first tasted the food from Binkles repaired microwave. He still couldn't speak properly now and the surgeons said it could be months. Each dunk was worth £10 and this man held a £50 note in his hand. Binkle gazed in despair at all the people (roughly about 100) and shuddered. Fauna smiled and gave the man the release mechanism for the crane. Binkle just had time to utter "Oh fuck!" before electric current buzzed through his body. Four hours later, the Cummy Todge was £4000 richer and they didn't have to have any lights on in the lounge for a week. They made Binkle stand in the middle of the room and glow. Ned was playing cards with Bingy Badger. "Hoy rabbit! A little bit more to the right!" Binkle glared at them, still smoking slightly from his ordeal. "Naargh fack arrf!" he replied. |
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