Weirdcrap Stories
The Manhood Test
by
Matt Kline
Jonathan looked out of place among
the other boys in his crowd. for one thing, he did not wear glasses. Thanks to years of computer use, most children
were near sighted by the time they were Jonathan's age, but Jonathan instead chose to engage in what his town elders
wistfully referred to as "sports," a name given to different types of physical competition. Sports were
largely ignored by the 22nd century, because the Microsoft revolution had turned the children with computer prowess
and amply-cushioned bottoms into the role models that athletes had been in the late 20th century. Another difference between Jonathan
and the other boys is that Jonathan did not own a computer at home. This went hand-in-hand with the glasses. Children
who had computers and glasses could use their lenses as monitors. Naturally this made the lenses thicker than fishbowls,
which compounded the children's near-sightedness, but most children held the view that whatever was outside the
glasses was not worth seeing anyhow. Primarily because of these two
factors, but also because of other factors, Jonathan hoped that his name would not be selected from the mass of
boys gathered in the center of town, he was alone in this hope. The vast majority of the crowd had been looking
forward to this annual event, which had different names in different communities, but in the town of Excel it was
know as Maturation Day. Every year, for as long as anyone
can remember (Even the elders of the town remember hearing the elders of their youth speaking of it.), children
had to prove through ritual that they were ready for manhood. Whether through ancient religious rituals like Confirmation,
the Bar Mitzvah, through completion of education, or through any other method deemed convenient by those who sit
in judgment of such matters, boys had to become men somehow. What had changed from the past were the methods and
the stakes involved. Jonathan's mind was pondering how
these changes came about when his concentration was interrupted by the audible hushing of the crowd. About 50 feet
from where Jonathan stood a pale man in a dark T-shirt and faded blue jeans began to speak; the rest of the boys
turned to face him when they heard his voice. "Cheese-It," the man
intoned gravely. "Please step forward." When he heard his name the boy
named Cheese-It approached the pale man. The pale man leaned forward to whisper to the boy and then led him into
a tent behind where the two were standing. Jonathan strained to hear what was said but could not. The whispering
was intended, because nobody was to know what the ritual was before participating and nobody spoke of it afterward.
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