Happy with no teeth, happy here in hibernation
Slurpin' on a peach, starin' at the situation
Kitty at my foot, meowin' out a conversation
Rockin' back 'n' forth, that's my only destination

Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch, and that old man is me
Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch, and that.....

Meeeeeeeee-ow, wow, wow, wow

Got a two-string on my lap, total subsonic vacation
Got chicken on the drums, poundin' out a perfect prescription
Got twenty little worms, all plug into amplification
Got fifteen hundred bass drum luggin' bug-eyed monkeys All arriving at the station

Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch, and that old man is me
Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch, and that.....

Me me meeeee-ow whoa, whoa, whoa

(Chris and Dave in unification station)

Chris:
I'm sittin' on the back porch, kickin' my legs back, rockin in my rockin'chair,
just sittin' there.
On the little back porch it's about to fall apart
So I think I might repair it, just as I'm thinkin about repairin' it
Some little friends come along with some two-string, one string
No string guitars (Hey Chris wanna jam?), and they plug Them all into the back porch, and they sit around
playing all their favorite songs
And kickin back, feelin' real good, real fine, real full of the wine
And everything's fine, everything's beautiful, everything's great
And I just feel so good, you know I'm seventy years old and
I'm slurpin' everything through a straw

Dave:
I'm sittin' here on the back porch just eatin' chocolate pudding through a straw
And I heated it up on a little sterno stove, tastes
just like a warm body fluid goin' down
Little players comin' 'round, pluggin' in their instruments, feelin' good about
Themselves, singin' original songs, by the original masters
And I'm sittin' there on the porch, rockin' back 'n' forth in my little old chair

But I'm an old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch, and that old man is me
Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch, and that.....