I found out today that my grandmother died last night less than an hour before midnight.

While I was online goofing around, my nana died.

Last night as the New Year was being rung in on the East Coast I had two very nice AIMs. One was from Steve who was called away to watch a movie with his sister and the other was with Mint Manor. Tavie was kind enough to grab everyones ass for me although there was no talk of mirrors and what one might see when squating over same.

Needless to say, I was a little hurt.

I didn't make it to midnight but woke up at nine minutes past just in time to hear what was either the last of the official fireworks or unofficial gun fire. I wished the cats Happy New Year, peed, then went back to bed.

It was an okay New Year. After I went back to bed I started feeling sorry for myself. Why was I alone on this, the most smooching of all holidays? The answer came from the Albert Brooks movie, Defending Your Life: fear. Afraid I'd be used again, afraid that I'd look like a fool, afraid that someone might love me.

It's not really a resolution, it's more like a New Years Clarity, which actually takes more work. Like an epiphany, clarity comes without warning or want.

It's that time of year again, kids: Have a happy and safe New Year.

I mean it.

It's another long, cold, rainy day here. I'm watching The Philadelpha Story now and I think I'll have to watch Hudsucker Proxy next. Kate or any reasonable facsimile feels just fine on such a day.

It's a day that only makes sense while curled up on the bed watching old movies.