I can't see the Luna Eclipse from here. I went over to Indian Rock (while it surprises me that it hasn't been renamed Native American Rock it didn't surprise me that it was crowded) but couldn't see anything from there. I'm bummin'.

I wanted to see the Red Moon (see the blue is blocked by the Earth and it makes the moon red) but I can't. The sky was muted by fog and the rock was crowded by nerds (geeks?) so I go without.

Did anyone out there take pictures?

Why do I suddenly feel like crying?

I'm really tired but that shouldn't make me sad. I took my meds, I watched some good movies, why am I pooling up?

What has happened that is making me so upset? Why is the Great Whoever bitch slapping me with irrational emotions?

Of course, I think there's a tumor in my head that's encroaching on the sorrow part of my brain. I'm not going to be able to think otherwise until the tests I haven't taken yet come back saying I'm okay.

Anyone want to come over and hold me?

Guess who woke up at 4am, didn't have any coffee, and then fell asleep in front of the tv until just a few minutes before her appointment?

That would be me. I rescheduled for Monday. Whee, another 4am wake up!

Before you ask, no, you can't be me.

I got to wake up at 4am today.

Got to. Heh.

I'm getting an EEG today and they decided that the best for a person to deal with the stress of having a majorly important medical test is to have them wake up way fucking early.

So that's what I'm doing.

I wasn't worried about this test at all, mostly because I thought that Kaiser had screwed it up and scheduled it by mistake, but even when I found out that I was going to have it, I was more upset about waking up at 4.

Did I mention that I've been up since 4? I did? Okay.

I don't even leave the house for another hour and a half.

OH! AND I don't get to have any coffee. Well, fuck me runnin'! 4am, no coffee; are they trying to make me kill someone? The only thing that made it easier to get up at 5am when I was working was the prospect of coffee. It's only 10 feet and a bit of gurgling way from a cup of coffee.

Must remember to ask hospital staff where the closest coffee place is.

Is it bad when your eyes feel like raisins? Or would that be prunes are far as size goes? No, prunes are juicer than raisins. If you're just tuning in; my eyes feel like really big raisins. I have eye drops, but do I trust myself to use them?

Holy jumpin' christ, it's not even 6am yet. Can't someone else do this for me so I can go back to sleep?

I'm having nightmares about horribly tall buildings and being in glass elevators; I'm afraid of heights. In one of these dreams I was talking to someone in the elevator and the wall she was leaning against started to bow out and seperate from the connecting glass panel. I could see empty space, and could feel myself falling. I eased myself down to the floor and told the woman not to lean against the wall.

The other nightmares are about the Hilton. I'm still working there but shouldn't be. I ask the manager if I'm going to be on the next week's schedule. He goes in to the director's office, then comes out and tells me I have to leave the property right now. In the dream I know they are going to try to get out of paying me even though they have had me still on the schedule for weeks. Now that I'm awake and able to think about it, I think it's more about not being seen, not being appreciated, than it is about money. That is one of the reasons I hated that job. I know the moment I left someone filled the space I left and it didn't make much difference to anyone.

God, I'm glad I'm not there anymore.

I got out of bed at 2:15pm today. I went to bed at 2am. Although I had one of those awake/asleep nights, I still slept a long ass time. I had dreams about Dana Gould, Theanna, Diane, and Jake Gyllenhaal, the last gave me an irriating neck rub that led me to believe that he would be bad in bed.

I gave a bartender a taste of my flirting skills yesterday. He was Irish and had that just rolled out of bed look. His name is David. I don't think I flirt well. I believe I might have embarrassed myself.

Ah, well, back on that horse.

Before I forget again...

Has anyone seen the Snuggle commerical were the porcupine and the skunk are pretending to be Snuggle? At the end the Real Snuggle falls, giggling into the clothes basket, with his fuzzy little arms behind his head.

I swear it looks that that bear is getting head. His hips are moving out of frame and his eyes are rolling around. The only thing that makes me think that this might not be the case is that he doesn't reach down to the back of the skunk's head (I wouldn't let a porcupine suck my dick, would you?) to push it down to make the skunk gag on his bear prick. Oh, sorry, I mean is cute, fluffy bear prick.

I assume the porcupine was the one filming it.

So, therapy, huh?

Arg! I am a bad person! It's not Kitty Bitty, it's Kitty Witty!

I'll be lucky if he ever mews at me again.