FUCK YOU, WASHINGTON STATE!

How is it possible, in the name of everything that's right and good, that Joe came in 4th in the Seattle Comedy Competition? I have some big boots, WA, and I'm not afraid to kick your hack-ass-comedy-loving-motherfucking asses!

Is it too much television? Or has the fluoride in the water rotted your brains? What is wrong with you? You might not agree with his views, but jesus, he's still one of the funniest people doing stand up.

FORTH! How can you sleep at night, Washington State, knowing that you only laugh at fart jokes and song parodies?

Fuck, how do you get out of bed and dress yourselves? Do you wander around bouncing off walls until you reach the law of averages and fall out the door?

Keep your coffee and your Space Needle, Seattle; I'm done with you.

Stupid fuckers.