Why?

Why am I still awake? (I was so tired today that I almost fell asleep in my therapist's waiting room.)

Why am I eating a roast beef sandwich at quarter past 10pm? (I think it might be a PMS thing, you know the need for red meat.)

Why am I online when I wanted to go to sleep at 7:15pm? (I was on the phone when I realized that I wanted to be in bed, unconscious. Sorry, Brian.)

Why didn't I read this sooner?

Do not stand by my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am a diamond glint on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awake to the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight
I am the soft starshine at night
Do not stand by my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die.

- Mary Frye, 1932 Isn't that lovely?

Why am I still writing when I really want to be in bed with cats leaning on me?

Why?