Title: Lizard Brain
Author: kbk
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Sorkin, not that he seems to know what to do with them half the time...
Notes: A snippet of dialogue which I planned to make a fic, but having re-found it thought worked all right as is, so I put a couple of notes on it.

SCENE: INT. Night. JOSH and DONNA are walking-and-talking, but their voices are unusually quiet and we cannot hear them until they stop in a quiet part of the corridor and we move closer.

DONNA: Apart from the fact that you're my boss and it would be against all codes of conduct?

JOSH: Yes.

And if it got out I would look like a total slut willing to use my body for pecuniary advantage?

Donna...

Your ego.

My what?

Your ego.

While I admit...

Josh. You always have to be "da man". That's not conducive to a good relationship.

I don't understand you at all.

Was that a why?

Yes, that was a why.

Well, I'm assuming that attitude would continue during sexual relations, and so you always have to be able to think of yourself as the best a woman's ever had.

I'm generous in bed. How is that a problem?

Ah. Not generous. Competitive.

Competitive?

Lizard brain.

[JOSH is visibly confused, so DONNA explains.]

The lizard part of your brain is trying to give the female good sex so she'll keep coming back to you. Also, it establishes your dominance over that particular female.

See, now, that's where you're wrong.

Oh, not in real life, but way down in that lizard brain of yours? Hell yeah.

Would you stop with the lizard brain?

No. The problem with that being, that you carry that attitude out of the bedroom. As soon as you've fucked a woman, you expect her to do what you say, which is why you can't work with anyone you've slept with and why I'm not sleeping with you.

Oh really.

I like my job, Josh. I want to keep my job. But I can't be your assistant if I've fucked you.

You know, normally it's the other way round and "unless".

And there's the sexual harrassment, right on schedule.

Donna! Jeez! It's... You really won't?

I really won't.

You really, really, really...

Oh, go proposition Sam.

END SCENE