"Bye Uncle Giles!" Buffy Summers called out as she stumbled out of the door, on her way to school. It had taken her nearly an hour to find the perfect outfit. Most of her stuff hadn't arrived at the new house yet. She was wearing a sky blue skirt that casually draped over her ankles, and had two long slits on both sides. Under her dark blue jean jacket, she wore a creamy white, spaghetti strap top. Her almost shimmering golden, hair was piled on top of her head, in a messy bun. A few strands fell out of place, and were left to dance with the wind upon her almost perfectly placed cheekbones.
   

    People were always telling her how beautiful she was. When she went to Ireland during the summers, she was known throughout the town as 'Brinneall a' àiteag' 'Beautiful and shy.' She wasn't a shy person at all. With her friends she was the center of attention, outgoing and fun, but she distrusted certain people, especially guys. She was beautiful and she knew it, but she wasn't cocky, she even looked upon her beauty as a curse at times. She didn't date because guys took one look at her and saw 'brinneall' 'a beautiful lady,' and nothing more.
'Sunnydale,' she thought, 'definitely not LA! but it's kinda nice.'
 

    The ringing of a loud bell brought her away from her thoughts. "Damn, I'm gonna be late!" she shouted, starting at a run toward the steps of Sunnydale High.
 

*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*

    "Class, this is our newest student Buffy Summers," The teacher announced. "I trust you will all make her feel welome and a home here," and with that she directed Buffy to a seat in the back of the room. Sitting down, Buffy inspected the girl seated next to her. She was absorbed in a Cosmo magazine that was laid atop of her textbook. Not one strand of her beautiful, long brown hair was out of place. 'Exotic. She's an exotic beauty, and I bet she knows it too.' Buffy thought. Forcing herself away from these thoughts, she began to lose herself in her teachers words.
   

    History had always been her best, and favorite subject. Her grandmother always said she had an old soul, Buffy liked to believe that, it sounded so....romantic.
   

    The teacher asked a question, and turned to Buffy saying," You'll find that you may be a little behind Buffy so just come to me after class and we'll figure out how to get you caught up okay." Now she turned to a small redhead in the front of the class to answer the question, but the she never got to even begin her answer.
  

     "Although the early Celts were composed of a number of different races and tribes, and at the height of their power they spread across wide tracts of Europe, they did have a uniformity of religious idiom that enables historians to speak of a Celtic religion. They were linked by common origins and language (P-Celtic spoken in Gaul and Britain, and Q-Celtic spoken in Ireland), common religious traditions, and a close similarity of laws." Buffy stated answering the teacher's question.

    Her answer had grabbed the class' attention, many of their mouths forming o's, while a certain redhead in the front of the room turned around stunned and annoyed. Buffy looked around the classroom wondering why everyone seemed surprised. In her old school this was how class was; The
teacher asks a question, someone gave a complete, exact answer, and an intellectual debate was begun. But then, ‘Sunnydale High School’ obviously wasn’t ‘Los Angeles’ College Preparatory School for the Gifted’.

    Just then the bell rang, signaling the end of the class. As Buffy was gathering her books when the redhead from the front of the room came storming toward her. Looking up, Buffy’s face brightened with the prospect of meeting someone new.

    "Hi, i'm Buffy.”

    “So, what you want a biscuit for it or something?!?!" Willow Rosenberg began sarcastically, "You really have to learn your place around here Buff, and learn it fast. You can't just waltz in here and actually"

    "What and actually know a thing or two about history? Oh yes, God forbid, I was acting like we were in an actual history class or something!" Buffy shot back.

    "Willow, I hope you weren’t giving my new friend Buffy here a hard time. That could have a really tragic ending for you." the brunette who had sat beside Buffy said, "Now, why don't you just scamper along." she finished, clearly dismissing the redhead, but Willow would have none of it.

    “Was that a threat?” she asked dangerously.

    “Now Willow,” the brunette began her eyes now cold and mocking, “You’ve been a real good girl this year. So far you’ve stayed out of the way of me and mine, and you must be really grateful I’ve decided not to make Senior year hell for you. So I’ve been a bit….generous. You’ve got a little rep now, sort of the bitchy good girl, people kinda thinkin you’re pretty cool, and I’ve allowed it cause I’ve been in a good mood so far, but don’t let it get to your head. Don’t start thinking you have some sort of power around here, because trust me, you’ll rue the day you ever toed the line.”

    By now Willow’s skin had lost all its color, and she didn’t trust herself to speak. She would NOT let Cordelia Chase make
her look weak again. Not after all this time. So she simply turned around and walked away.

    Now, turning to Buffy she introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Cordelia Chase. You're from LA right?"

    "Umm...Yeah LA." Buffy answered surprised.

    "Ugh, God what i wouldn't give to live near all those shoes!"
 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 

    “So what's was up with little Miss. I'm trying way too hard to be a bad girl?” Buffy asked Cordy at lunch.  It turned out that she and Cordy had all their periods except 2 together, and they were finding that they were amazing compatible friends.

    Cordy laughed at Buffy’s name for Willow. She also realized that she laughed at a lot of things Buffy said. She was funny, stylish, smart, most definitely NOT fake, and the kind of friend Cordy missed having.

    “We kind of used to be…..friends. Scratch that, we were actually best friends. Things happened and she decided to try getting high and mighty. So I decided to try high and mighty right back, and of course I was better at it than she.” Buffy nodded beginning to understand where this story was going.

    “In junior high we were both really popular, and it was the same freshman year, except she started to up the stakes. She was totally outta control, and she wanted to crush me. Totally destroy everything that was me. I wouldn’t let her. I didn’t let her, and in the process I crushed her. Ironic huh? I didn’t mean to, I never had any intention to hurt her, because she was the only REAL friend I had ever had. Everyone else was too fake; they weren’t friends. Suddenly I was this cold hearted ruthless bitch in everyone’s eyes, and that made me cool.”

    “Drama of the worse kind,” Buffy said sympathetically.

    Cordy smiled almost bitterly. She didn’t know why she needed Buffy to know the whole story, but she did know that she didn’t want Buffy thinking she was like the rest of her clique.

    “ I just don’t get why she started the whole high and mighty routine. When did she start hating you so much?” Buffy asked.

    Once the question was out of her mouth Buffy regretted asking it. Cordy looked like she could break down any moment. Not on the outside of course, pain like that cuts too deep. You have to really look into someone’s eyes to catch that kind of pain and hurt. Buffy knew all to well about the work it took to keep smiling when you were dieing on the inside. She still did it now.

    Cordy turned her head to the other side of the cafeteria. She looked at her usual table, filled up with all the popular people. One chair was empty, and that was hers. She had told her clique she wouldn’t be sitting with them today. No one would question her of course, but she knew she’d have explaining to do later, or people would talk. She pointed to a guy with brown hair and a goofy smile on his face. He was wearing khaki pants and a green shirt. Everything about him screamed popular and rich. “See that guy over there?” she asked Buffy, ”that’s Xander Harris.
Most popular guy in school. Richest guy in school. Funniest guy in school. Biggest Jerk in school.”

    “Aren’t they usually?” Buffy asked amused.

    “He and Willow used to be best friends too. They started dating in Junior high, and that’s when Willow started to get popular. She was with the ideal guy to be with. The summer before Freshman year they drifted apart, and he drifted toward me. Now Willow and I weren’t friends any more, but I still didn’t want to betray her like that. So Xander and I decided to be strictly friends. Except we couldn’t exactly be just friends cause he had feelings for me…and I started having feelings for him. Not even butterflies in ya tummy feelings. I’m talking about full blown feelings I never believed you could have that young.

    “We started sneaking kisses here and there, and by the end of the summer you couldn’t not have realized how much we were into each other. School started and Willow didn’t know anything about this, cause she’d been away all summer. By then we were officially an item, and she hated me for it. She never blamed Xander at all, just me.”

    They didn’t say anything to each other for a while. “Wanna go shopping after school?” Buffy asked, needing to break the silence, and sensing Cordelia needed a shift in conversation. “Hell ya, I saw the new coach bag in the catalogue yesterday, and I absolutely need it.” Cordy answered automatically, making both of them laugh.

    “Right then,” Buffy’s face was serious, but her eyes were laughing "shopping it is."
 

'*,'*,'*,'*,'*,'*,'*,'*,'*,'*,'*,'*,'*,'

    “Are you sure your uncle won’t mind me staying over for the night?” Cordy asked her voice a bit nervous, and edgy.

    “Please, no prob, he’s totally in the know!” Buffy answered smiling. It was sad to see someone like Cordelia, who looked so confident on the outside, be so lonely and hungry for real friendship, whether she knew it or not. Maybe it was so sad because Buffy used to be just like that. Snapping away from her thoughts, she realized that Cordy had just asked her something.

    “I’m sorry, could you repeat? I was off wandering. ” Buffy asked.

    “Translation please.” Seeing Buffy’s blank look she added,” you said your uncle was in the know, translation?”

    “Oh.” Buffy shook her head. “Sorry LA slang. I just meant that I called him on my cell to let him know, but anyways he would’ve been cool with it even without the call.” She smiled wistfully as she walked down the hall and led Cordelia to her room. Once they were inside she let her hair out, and threw her jacket onto the floor with a sigh. Making herself comfortable, she motioned for Cordy to do the same.

    “He’s really cool like that ya know. Some people were just made to be parents. Uncle Giles is right up there with the best of them. Like right now he’s about to leave the office, and he’s wondering what to bring us to eat. He knows I could just whip us up something, and that I would, but if he brings home pizza, we can go into the den and eat it while we talk about something completely random, or even just sit there in silence. It’s more homey, but that's probably because we've become to Americanized. Pizza in the den in England equaling homey...will never happen ”

    “You guys are really close huh?” Cordy asked, longing and envy evident in her voice.

    “Yeah, we are.” Buffy answered as she changed into her pajamas.

    “How about your parents? Are you guys close?” Cordy asked as she carefully folded her clothes. Her back was turned and she couldn’t see the way Buffy stiffened up, or the tears that welled up in her eyes, so she continued. “I can only imagine what your parents are like considering how awesome your uncle sounds. You must be even closer. Do they live here with you guys?”

    Buffy took a deep breath, and chose her next words carefully, trying not to let bitterness creep into her voice. “I wouldn’t know how awesome they are considering I didn’t have a whole lotta time to find out.” Turning around she made certain she avoided Cordy’s eyes, busying herself with putting away all the things she’d bought this afternoon. After a few moments she lifted her gaze to Cordy’s, and let out a tired sigh, her eyes troubled and sad.

    “My parents were killed when I was almost 7. Killed by a man who claimed to love my mother dearly. A man who felt that if he couldn’t have her, then no one could. A man who till this day claims to be my true father.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 

    Giles had come home to find two teenage girls holding onto each other for dear life, and crying their eyes out. Now she and Buffy were fast asleep, in bed. With a headache that demanded to be treated but would receive no aid from him, Giles retreated to the liquor cabinet. With a fine glass of whiskey laying on the table beside him Giles let out a strangled moan.

                    Would she forever be haunted by the ghosts of the past? Would Jack Finn never leave her be?

    Curling his fist, his anger boiled to the surface. What had Joyce been thinking, getting involved with him? True, he had been charming, and interested (far too interested to do any good), and he knew Joyce had begun to feel dissatisfied with her marriage, but why would she turn to scum like Jack? What had drove her to feel the need to turn to Jack? And when she had finally come to her senses, it had been too late. Too late for her marriage, and entirely too late for her.

    And now, he comes looking for Buffy, and what better way to get the daughter he wanted, then through the son he already had?
‘Yes,’ Giles thought,’ Riley Finn is the key. I pray to God he can’t finish where his father left off.’

***************************************************************************************************

“Sorry for the drama session last night.” Buffy told Cordelia from her spot on the bed, as she watched her prepare her makeup for school. Keeping her eyes down on the floor and her head bowed she let out a sigh. “I don’t—well I’ve never….”she turned her head toward the window. “I don’t like to talk about it, because if I don’t, I can pretend its all a dream.”

“Will you please shut up!” Cordy said exasperated. Buffy’s eyes shot up.“You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Nothing. And as your new best friend, its my duty to make you forget all your worries, if you’ll excuse me for adding that cheesy line.”

Buffy gave a weak smile.

“Anyways Summers, you can’t walk into school all mopey and stuff. You have an image to uphold.” She laughed ,” plus, everyone thinks you’re perfect.”

“Not nearly” Buffy added with a wry smile.

************************************************

"I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I love you to love me, oh and I’m beggin you to beg me---“

The blond-haired boy listened to the sweet voice at the doors to the library, preparing himself for the inevitable encounter.

“Letters to Cleo, huh? Too soft rock for me personally.” He said as he walked confidently through the double doors.

Buffy stopped singing and looked toward the door, surprisingly unstartled by his unexpected arrival.

She grimaced. “I’m sorry. Was I singing to loud? I assumed no one was still around considering the fear of acquiring knowledge the people here seem to have.” She said, humor in her voice. “And considering that its 5:30 and classes ended at 2:20.” The boy said joking right back. Waving her hand dismissively she added, ”that too.”

Anyways I have to go, so the library’s all yours.” She said more serious as she collected her books and prepared to leave. Turning once more to him, she held out her hand. “It was nice meeting you…” “Ri. Ri Fisherman.” He supplied. “and you are….” “Buffy Summers. Anyhoo, I’ll see you around sometime Ri, Ri Fishermn. Bye.” And with that teasingly flirtatious response she walked out of the library.

“Yeah real soon Buffy , real soon,.”

************************************************

Buffy and Cordelia walked into art class chatting away, not seeing the change in the room. As they went to take their usual seats, they realized that a new seating arrangement had been made. So Buffy moved over to the 1st seat near the teacher’s desk with a sad glance over at Cordy. It was then that she noticed the tall, dark, and handsome man sitting on the window sill, quietly staring at her. A quick frown made its way across her face before she recovered and gave him a bright smile, and reached for her cell phone.

“Hello?” “Who is mister oh so yummy?” Cordy’s excited voice asked. Ignoring the question, Buffy’s voice was amused and teasing. “Why are you calling me on my cell during class?” Cordy sighed. “Class hasn’t started yet, and I couldn’t wait to ask, now spill!”

The bell rang loudly.

“Cell-phones off please!” a smooth, and sexy voice called to the class. Mesmerized all the girls snapped their heads around and stared, mouths open wide. All previous conversations were forgotten instantly. The man smirked, and all the girls smiled, their knees going weak. All except one, the very on whose attention he wanted the most. Buffy Summers was looking back and forth between the window, and her sketch book, her brows scrunched in concentration.

“Miss. Summers?” he called out.

“Mmmm?” she answered absently.

“Are you enjoying your world very much? I personally would love to be graced with your awesome presence in ours.” Some people in the back snickered. She looked up from her work with a frown. Looking down, she silently collected her books, got up, and walked out of the classroom, as calm and graceful as a swan.

Seemingly unaffected he walked to her desk and picked up her sketch book, studying her work, while the class looked on shocked and confused. She had drawn a picture of a beautiful woman sitting under the shade of a large tree. The work of art was titled “Mother.”

He looked up at the class and smiled. “Hi, I’m Angelus, and I'll be your art teacher for the rest of the year.

************************************************

After calmly walking out of art class and down the hall to the bathroom, Buffy slid to the floor as tears streamed down her face. She had neglected to tell Cordy one thing; today was the anniversary of her parents death. Every year she hoped it would get easier, hoped that somehow something really great in her life could overshadow the pain, and she’d realize that everything would be okay. But every year it was the same. She’d hurt, she’d ache, and she’d die just a little more. She wondered what would happen when she had nothing left in her to give, when she became just an empty shell who couldn’t feel.

Strong arms encircled her, and she buried her head into the person’s chest and wept; wept for the parents that she never really knew, and wept for the child inside of her that had died when they did.

******************Angelus' POV******************

I was harsh. Of course I knew the significance of this day, but dammit I wasn’t prepared for her.

Of course that’s not an excuse. As a Federal Agent, I should always be prepared, and I thought I was.

I know things about this girl that she doesn’t even know about herself. How is that right?

She’s soft, beautiful, and amazingly sweet. Her picture did her no justice, and when she smiled, I realized an undeniable fact- I. Want. Her.

I shouldn’t; she’s too young, and her life’s too messed up already, but I can’t deny the passions she’s ignited in me.

I know passion. I’m a man that enjoys woman, and I know woman enjoy me. But I always keep my head. I never left myself get passion swept, because then you get caught off guard.

But when she smiles...

***********************************************

“God, I’m so sorry!” Buffy choked out, as she disentangled herself from strong arms. When she looked up she gasped. “Angelus.” A fresh flood of tears welled up in her eyes, but she somehow managed to keep her voice firm and the flood from falling.

“I’m terribly sorry about my behavior here and in the classroom.” She began as she smoothed out her skirt and blouse. “If you decided to punish me, as is your right—" “Please shut up” Angelus said as she brushed tears from her cheeks. Buffy abruptly pulled away. “Why does everyone keep telling me that?!?!? I don’t want to shut up! Maybe I’ll just sit here and keep crying!” she all-but shouted, suddenly very angry.

“Okay. Fine, you go do that.” He said, as he sat on the floor. “I’ll just sit here and wait till you’re done.”

Buffy sighed, trying desperately to control her temper. “And now you make me feel like a child.” She whispered with a frown, as she too slid down to the floor. “I’m sorry” “Don’t be sorry, I was acting like a child. I would apologize for it, but you’d probably just tell me to shut up again, and where would that leave us.” Buffy’s lips curved slightly, feeling lighter. “I meant, I’m sorry for being harsh in class. It was uncalled for” Angel said sincerely. “Oh, umm forgiven.” Buffy said.

They sat in silence for a moment.

“You’re beautiful.” Angelus said softly, seductively.

“Mmm. Who’s watching the class?” she asked, disregarding his statement. “The TA. What do you mean ‘Mmmm’?” Angel asked with disbelief as he watched her get up and rinse her face, and comb a hand through her hair.

She turned and regarded him with interested eyes. “I know I’m beautiful. I’ve been told that enough times to know it, but what difference does it make? You’re beautiful. What does that tell me about you? Nothing. Though, if you took the time to come and apologize and comfort me, you must be a good person to some extent.” Turning back to the mirror above the sinks, she continued. “I wish I weren’t beautiful. People treat you differently. They always seem to want something from you.” Watching the mirror intensely she say Angelus walk up behind her. “So the question is Angelus, What do you want from me?”

************************************************

“Did you have a good day at school?” Giles asked his niece as she walked into the mansion. “Uncle Giles! You didn’t tell me you’d be home early. I would have come home earlier, and began supper.” Giles dismissed the statement with a wave of his hand and set to cleaning his glasses. Buffy watched the familiar process with affection evident in her eyes and dreamy smile.

“I began supper and your voice teacher should be here in an hour and a half or so, but that is not the topic I would like to discuss. How was your day? And be truthful.”

“Could I be anything else with you Uncle?” she said evading the inevitable question with a smile and gave him an affectionate pat on the cheek. “Now go into the living room, and put your feet up, I’ll prepare some tea.”

“Alright,” he gave in “you’d rather not speak of it yet, I understand, but we’ll talk later yes?”

“Yes Uncle, we’ll talk later.”

************************************************

“Please continue with the lesson ladies, I’ll see to the door.” Giles said his English accent more dignified and prim because Madame Dupree, Buffy’s voice teacher and grandmother, was present. He waited until he heard Buffy’s sweet voice singing and Aria once again, to open the door.

“Ah Mr. Angelus please do come in.”

Giles escorted Angelus into the music room, and both men sat down to stare at the beautiful young woman pouring her heart into the song.

“She’s beautiful.” Angelus whispered in awe of her magnificence.

Buffy was dressed in an olive green gown that accented her tiny waist and softly billowed at her feet. Her hair was pulled away from her face into a tight bun; every strand in place. Around her neck she wore an olive green ribbon, with a gold pendant attached to it, that lay just above the rise of her breasts. Such outfitting was demanded of Buffy by her strict vocal teacher.

Giles looked over at Angelus with a speculative look on his face. Could he really fault the boy for falling in love with his niece so quickly? She was an exquisite beauty with the most compassionate of hearts.

“Couldn’t you have waited until your job was done to fall in love with my niece? She loves easily, perhaps too easily, and if she did fall in love with you now, it could only end in tragedy. She’s delicate, and I don’t want her spirit broken….it’s too precious.”

Angelus snapped out of the spell Buffy had woven on him. “I’m not in love with her, and if I was-which I’m not!!!!- I would never hurt her.” He whispered fiercely, annoyed that he had been caught off guard by the older man.

Giles began to clap as the song ended and he whispered. “We never mean to hurt the one’s we love. It’s just that whatever we do, love hurts; one way or the other.”

************************************************

Buffy dropped into a seemingly effortless curtsy, as Angelus too began to clap.

With an athletic, but still supremely feminine grace, she walked over to the two men on the couch.

“Mr. Angelus, to what do we owe this pleasure?” she asked sweetly. Angelus narrowed his eyes. Perhaps her voice was a little too sweet, to his ears it sounded as if she were angry.

“Buffy, you will introduce me yes? We must not keep the lovely man waiting if he has business with Mr. Giles.” A sultry, feminine voice, laced with a French accent asked.

From behind the piano, a woman, perhaps in her fifties –though she didn’t look it—came out to greet the newcomer. She was petite but lean (much the same body type as Buffy’s), with slightly wavy brown hair that framed a face sans-wrinkles.

“No matter, I shall introduce myself. I am—“

“Madame Dupree. I heard you singing when I was in Europe 2 summers ago. You took my breathe away with your song. What I hadn’t expected was for you to do the same with your beauty.” Angelus interrupted with a slight bow, and a kiss on her hand.

Madame Dupree was amused. “Oh yes Elizabeth, stay far away from this one. He can flatter in a heartbeat.” She said before she turned to Giles and acknowledged him with a nod.

Turning back to Buffy she studied her grand-daughter thoughtfully. “You’ll wear the scarlet gown to the concert; of course anything would look lovely on you, but tomorrow night you will dazzle them, with your song and the Dupree looks and charm.” Before Buffy could get a word, in her grandmother continued. “Though why you choose to continue using your mother’s name I will never know, but despite that you will be fabulous.”

Kissing the woman on both cheeks, Buffy laughed. “You can turn anything into a compliment can’t you Grandmother?!?!?” “I am French, of course I can!” she said with a soft smile.

“Au revoir everyone! Mr. Angelus you will join us at the concert tomorrow of course, and Mr. Giles will escort you backstage. I will come for my grand-daughter at her school, and she is to save her voice until then.” And with that she swept out of the room.

************************************************

Buffy had yet to change from her practice gown. Why she had to wear an actual gown for her lessons, she did not know. She only knew that it was her grandmother’s way, and that it had to be done.

“So you’re saying that you’ve hired a babysitter for me who is disguising himself as one of my teacher’s—Angelus--because you believe an attack is going to be made on both of us because of a new deal with the Russian government your company made.”

Rupert Giles nodded, hating to keep the whole truth from his niece.

Buffy knew that her uncle was a powerful man, and that things like this too frequently happened to powerful men and their families, but…

She looked over at Angelus and studied him for a moment, then turned to her uncle and looked him in the eye, doubts plain for all to see in her eyes.

“If you think its necessary, of course I’ll cooperate. I’m glad you told me uncle, I know you could never keep secrets from me.”

Guilt laced itself around his heart.

Buffy waited in silence for her uncle to say something. When nothing came, she rose from the table and swept out of the room without even looking back.

************************************************

Angelus tried to convince himself that the reason he couldn’t get the beautiful blonde out of his head was purely because she was such a big part of the case.

That didn’t work……Not even for a moment

Since he had turned 15 women had thrown themselves at his feet. He only had to ask and they gave. But Buffy glanced once at him with that cool disposition, dismissed his looks with a careless wave of her hand, and suddenly he wanted her with a passion that threatened to encompass his very being.

When he had taken the case file, her picture of course had been present, and he could never deny that it had intrigued him, but she had meant nothing to him other than business, and another pretty face. Now she only had to walk into a room, and business flew from his mind. This feeling in the pit of his stomach was unlike anything he had felt for a woman before, and he couldn’t quite decide whether he liked it or not.

************************************************

She had seen him exit the limo in front of the mansion through her bedroom window and refused to be shaken by his presence.

She told herself that she was only taking extra time to primp because she was anxious and excited about her performance later in the evening. Plus, she was pissed! No, she was beyond pissed, she was furious, because she knew Giles and Angelus were holding back something from her. From Angelus she couldn’t expect the absolute truth, considering they had just met, but knowing that Giles was keeping a secret from her just hurt; perhaps more than she wanted to admit.

Pushing her thoughts to the back of her mind for later contemplation, she studied herself in her full length mirror, before nodding in approval. She was wearing one of those cute little corsets that showed a little belly—which after speaking with a dozen or so designers during ‘Fashion Week’ in London, she concluded were soon to be all the rage—an expertly tailored pair of brown slacks that rode low on the hips, a soft brown scarf, and a pink Burberry hat with Gucci shades. She looked too good!

As she walked into the kitchen, she kissed her Uncle on the cheek and smiled at Angelus in greeting as she sat down at the table for breakfast.

“Ah good morning Buffy. You slept well?” Giles asked worriedly as he put plates in front of both Buffy and Angelus. He knew that Buffy was suspicious of his lies, and he didn’t think he could bare it if she was angry with him though her anger could be expected.

“Hmmm very well, and you Uncle?” she answered sincerely as she got up to get some tea. She smiled when reaching for the teacups in the cupboard. He was trying to gauge her reaction of last night’s turn of events. Lovely.

“I slept fine. I’ll admit I am a bit anxious, this being your entrance into ‘society’, but other than that I’m quite alright. “ He continued watching her carefully.

She was managing not to take the teapot and hit both men over the head with it. She took that as a good sign.

“And you Angelus. Did you sleep well?” she asked looking over at him, penetrating him with those hazel eyes.

Did she know? How could she possibly know he had spent the night wanting nothing more than for her to be there with him?

“Actually no, I didn’t, I had a lot on my mind.” Angelus answered truthfully as he began to eat.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Perhaps my witty comments and naturally stunning beauty might help you bear the day.” She said her voice light and teasing, as Giles laughed.

“Your stunning beauty and witty comments could help anyone bear the day.” Angelus said dryly, wanting to make her laugh. It was one thing he had fantasized about during the night; hearing her beautiful laugh in the morning when they were having breakfast, preferably in bed…and sans the Giles.

It had been odd for him to sit through breakfast, watching and listening to Buffy and Giles, whose affection and love for each other was evident. There was strain from the night before, but that could be overlooked for now.

They were amazingly open, drawing him into the conversation easily without him even realizing it. He had never had this when he was a child, or a teenager living in his parent’s home, and he realized that it was because that house he had lived in for the first 18 years of his life had been just that, a house. How was it that after only living in the mansion for 2 weeks Giles and Buffy had managed to make it into a home, when for 18 years he had been trying to make his house a home without any success? On the drive to Sunnydale High School he couldn’t help but think these thoughts, and he surprised himself by asking Buffy about it.

“Home for me isn’t the place, it’s the person (or people) that you come back to, the person (or people) that you know you’ll always be able to come back to” Buffy answered him with sad eyes. “Have you found home yet Angelus?” she asked. He looked at her, really looked at her, and she couldn’t breathe. “Maybe I have.”

************************************************

Buffy had gone through the day in a daze, though many might not have noticed it. She was seemingly attentive in all of her classes, answering and asking questions at the proper intervals, but Cordelia knew better. She knew that something was preoccupying her newest best friend’s mind, but when she confronted her about it, she carelessly waved it off with a lame excuse about her concert tonight. Buffy was one of the most confident people she knew, and not that fake type of confidence that people like her had, she had the real stuff. She may have been hurt and traumatized at and early age, but she was a strong person whether she wanted to admit it or not. ‘So what’s up with her? And why won’t she tell me?’ Cordelia thought as she walked into art class. Even their o so delicious art teacher couldn’t stop her worrying over Buffy.

Making sure her resolve face was securely in place, she looked over at Buffy and noticed her staring at Angelus not with that hungry look that practically every female looked at him with, but with a look of curiosity and fascination. Cordy smiled mischieviously. ‘Okay, so that’s how the wind blows. Buffy wants Angelus.’ She thought, and judging by the subtle looks Angelus kept throwing over at Buffy, his feelings were the same.

He was skilled at not being obvious, she had to give him credit for that, but as a person who was quite skilled in recognizing attraction, he didn’t have a chance at hiding it from Cordelia Chase.

‘Interesting. Very very interesting.’ She thought as the bell rang signaling the end of class.

************************************************

Buffy was sitting in the library, getting caught up on some assignments, when a familiar voice interrupted her.

“What is it with you and the library?” a male voice asked from behind her.

Turning around and seeing who was addressing her, she smiled. “I could ask you the same thing. We really need to stop meeting like this!” Buffy said. “It’s Ri right?” she asked him.

“I’m flattered you remembered me.” He said teasing. “don’t be my memory is flawless.” She countered back.

“Ouch, the ego is bruised.” He said holding a hand to his heart. He sat down next to her. “So you’re a beautiful girl, whose sitting in the library at lunch, when everyone else is outside gossiping and trying to be cool. I find this intriguing.”

Buffy just looked at him for a moment. He was cute. Yummy even. Blonde hair, blue eyes, funny, Abercrombie and Fitch worthy; the All American boy. Normally Buffy wouldn’t go for someone like him, but he intrigued her too. There was just something about him, like she knew him from somewhere...

“The only good is knowledge and the only evil ignorance.” She quoted “I choose not to be ignorant.”

“Socrates.” He said recognizing the quote. He was impressed. “Wow, smart, funny, beautiful, athletic—“

“How do you know I’m athletic?” she questioned eyeing him curiously.

“Every morning you come in and stretch, run the track, and swim laps before school starts. That takes discipline, and athleticism.” He answered.

“You’ve been spying on me?” Buffy asked getting angry and suspicious.

He shook his head trying to calm her. “No, no I would never. My uncle’s the principle. I get to school early and workout too. So I’ve seen you around.”

“oh, sorry for jumping to conclusions then.” She apologized sincerely.

“No need to apologize, My wording was wrong, had I been in your position, I would have made the same conclusions. So, tell me a little about yourself Buffy.”

A couple of minutes later, someone walked into the library, and looked over at them. They didn’t notice. It infuriated him.

*******************Angel's POV******************

Okay, so I shouldn’t be upset to see her talking to him….flirting with him, because this is good. Them talking I mean. It’s good, because now I know they know each other, and I can keep better track of him. This is good. Very good…….Screw that, this is most definitely not good. She’s MINE!

It was in that moment, as I stood there, jealousy overtaking me, that I knew what was going to happen. I want Buffy, and I’m going to have her. Fuck the case, Fuck responsibility, Fuck Giles and his perception, and Fuck Riley Finn.

Storming out of the library, I began to formulate a plan for the seduction of Buffy Summers.

****************Buffy's Diary*******************

Dear Diary,

I haven’t written in you in a while. For some reason I haven’t felt the need to since we’ve moved to Sunnydale, so why now?

I met a guy today. Ugh! You knew this day would come. I mean I’ve gone out with guys before, I’ve kissed guys before, but this guy, I don’t know there’s just something about him, something amazingly familiar, and right about him.

name is Ri Fisherman, and no I’m not In Love, so don’t freak out, but I do like him. We sat in the library, and just talked for 40 minutes. I mean how seriously uncommon is that. And it wasn’t just a front on his part, he was really there ya know. We talked about School. Literature, our retarded inner musings ( you know those things you just happen to find yourself wondering about that make absolutely no sense at the moment), and a bunch of other things. It was great.

But if it was that simple I wouldn’t have to turn to you about it, but of course it’s not, because there’s another guy, that I can’t stop thinking about, and I’ve given up trying to convince myself that I don’t want him, because I do, but I shouldn’t.

Angelus is...God there are no english words to describe him. If I could I would tell you in Gaelic, but I can’t write the language yet.

I hate the fact that he makes me think of him when I don’t want to. I hate the fact that he just walks into a room and my heart starts to race, and a fire starts to rise in me. He consumes me. Sometimes he looks at me, and I see desire in his eyes, and I’m not sure if he can see it in mine, but I know it’s there.

I’m sitting in the limo now, writing this as we drive to the concert hall, and Grandmother just put some Tchaikovsky on---no Wagner thank god, Grandmother has a thing for him you know, and I simply detest his music---to drown out Marcelius’ (her assistant) voice. She’s writing in her diary too, though I expect she doesn’t call it a diary. I know she writes in it before any concert she has, and I was wondering earlier what she’s writing about now, considering that its my first big concert, and she’s not singing. She just looked up, as if she knew my silent question, squeezed my hand gently, and told me she love me.

Then I looked over at Angelus and realized that he was staring at me, his face hard and angry though his eyes still held that hungry, passionate look. I’m not ashamed to say that I shivered, you would have too diary. I couldn’t help but look away quickly. In that moment I couldn’t deny it anymore.

I’m afraid diary. I’m afraid I’m falling in love with him, and I can’t do that, because everyone I love leaves or gets hurt, and I…and I think I would die if something happened to him.

************************************************

Her entrance into “society” had been a huge success. All of the aristocrats of California, New York, Chicago, London, and Paris had come to acknowledge her as a member of their society. Usually a young woman’s entrance into “society” was a carefully planned and over the top expensive party, but that simply not do for Madame Dupree’s granddaughter, and Rupert Giles’ niece. And so, there had been an amazing concert, in a beautiful concert hall in LA, and a grande party afterwards. If everyone had not been astounded by Buffy’s beauty, they had been astounded by her singing ability—did they doubt that she would take after her grandmother?—and her skill at the cello. After her performances, she was content to just sit in one of the boxes in the hall, as everyone watched a performance of ‘Giselle’ by a prestigious ballet touring company. Now many people would think this ostentatious and in a way old fashioned, these entrances into society, but those people, those “common” people, really know nothing of the inner circles of society. Indeed it was very much old fashioned, a sort of strict way of life, regulated by rules and appearances, but it was a very exclusive world that only the wealthiest of people were born into. Looking upon it, you could definitely believe that these people were almost royalty, attending a never ending ball. For the most part, the outside world new nothing of this way of life.

It was 5:00am, and Buffy couldn’t take it anymore. The party had started at midnight, right after the ballet was over, and was still going strong. Apparently if you supplied enough alcohol and put a bunch of rich people who all wanted something from one another in a room together they could last for hours. Since the beginning of the party she had had to dance with every eligible male in the room, laugh at the extremely not funny jokes made by the parents of people who suddenly wanted to be her best friend, and entertain the vapid and shallow. She did all this with a gracious smile on her face, a bounce in her step, and a fiery headache threatening to make her collapse in pain.

No one was looking, so she managed a quick sigh and then fixed her smile back into place. She had known it would be like this, Grandmother had made sure she was prepared for it. It was a necessary evil. To be a Dupree was to be a socialite; it could not be helped. It was another thing that had been done tonight, she had officially taken the Dupree name. The papers were signed, the appropriate people informed, and now she felt like weeping. She couldn’t help but feel that she was abandoning her parents, though she finally understood that she had to move on with her life; this was the first step.

“Tired?” a sexy voice whispered extremely close to her ear. Buffy jerked around. “Oh, Angelus, you startled me.” She said turning around trying to act nonchalant. “Are you tired?” he asked again, ignoring her statement. This time when he asked, she couldn’t help but melt, because his voice was full of worry.

“Oh God yes. I think if I stood up, I’d collapse from exhaustion. I’ll be in sleep mode for at least a week after this party.” She said visibly wincing from her headache. It was too much. She couldn’t keep the blank face on anymore. Turning to him, she pleaded. “Please take me to the hotel. If I stay here a minute longer I’m gonna pass out.” Angelus pitied the girl. At first he hadn’t thought anything was wrong with her, she had handled everything graciously and easily, but then her smile seemed just a little too cheery, and once he caught her rubbing her forehead and sighing when she thought no one was looking. However, she hadn’t complained at all, and kept on entertaining. She was good. Of course, she had probably been preparing for this since she was little, as Madame Dupree’s granddaughter he understood that this was expected of her. He thought this whole thing seemed almost surreal; she, the duty-ensnared princess on her throne, almost a mere figurehead.

“I’ll take you don’t worry. We’ll slip through the back okay. Just wait a minute while I go inform Giles.” Angelus said not realizing that he had her hand clasped firmly in his.

“Okay,” she said planting a fake smile on her face, and tried to be humorous, “but come quickly because my jaw is hurting from smiling so much, and I figure it needs a rest.” And with that she turned to face the people walking toward her and air kissed them on both cheeks “Monsier et Madame. Dubois, Comment allez-vous?”

************************************************

After about 10 minutes, Angelus managed to get through the crowd of people, to Giles.

“Mr.Giles, could I have a moment of your time?” Angelus said formally because it was required.

Why yes of course.” He answered, just as formally. Turning back to the President and First Lady of the United States, he excused himself politely.

Angelus lowered his voice as they made their way toward Buffy. He sounded dangerous and annoyed. “Buffy has a splitting headache, and is tired as hell, I’m taking her back to the hotel, I don’t care what you have to say about it, as her bodyguard you’ve ensured me with the right to go to any measures to ensure Buffy’s well-being, and that’s what I’m doing, you wanna argue with me about it, take it up with the lawyers.”

Giles eyes flared, and Angelus unconsciously took a small step back. “Watch yourself boy, I won’t beat you right here only because I realize you do have her best interests in mind, but don’t you dare take that tone with me, as if I’m the bad parent who would try to stop you.” He was calmer as he continued. “Of course, if she’s tired, take her back to the hotel, make sure she’s safe, and stay with her until we come back, you may sleep in the guest room. Now, if his highness will allow, I’m going to give my niece a kiss goodnight!”

“It’s morning.” Angelus said with a newfound respect for Rupert Giles.

“Bloody hell, whatever!” Giles said walking over to Buffy.

************************************************

“Thank you for getting me out of there!” Buffy said after she had changed into something more comfortable for bed and plopped down on the couch, suddenly not feeling quite so tired. She disregarded that it might be because she was with Angelus ALONE in the hotel suite.

Angelus couldn’t really concentrate on Buffy’s words considering that she was wearing these teeny tiny red silk shorts with a red silk top that stretched itself over her breasts so perfectly that her nipples standing at attention. Ugh God she wasn’t wearing a bra. ‘If I were to slip that little scrap of silk off of her and pull her to my chest, there would be nothing there to stop me from—‘

“Angelus?” Buffy’s voice brought him out of his erotic thoughts.

He had enough of this. This tip toeing around. Hadn’t he decided earlier today that he’d have her?

“Buffy” he began, his eyes glazing over with lust.

“Yes Angelus” she said a little breathless.

“Shut up” and suddenly their mouths were fused together.

Somehow she had known it would be like this. Hot, passionate, consuming. And yet she was surprised by how quickly the fires had been ignited.

Her breathy moans were reeking havoc on his control; the little he still had. As he trailed kisses down her throat, and his hand trailed up her firm stomach to her breasts, he looked up wanting to see her like this; her skin flush with desire, and her eyes fluttering in the beginnings of ecstasy. He couldn’t take her like this, she deserved more, so much more, and for the first time in his life Angelus realized that he wanted to give her more, needed to give her more.

Letting go of her, and placing one more kiss to her lips, he rested his forehead against her, as they both tried to regain their composure.

“That shouldn’t have happen like that.” He said finally.

Buffy pulled back, hurt evident in her features.

“No Buffy, no, I said that wrong. God you make me do that, don’t you see. You make me feel like an idiot. I want you. I shouldn’t but I do, and I—I just meant that you need more, you deserve more.” he said caressing her face. “I’m going to my room, cause I don’t think I can be near you right now without losing control, but I promise you. This will happen, and when it does you won’t be able to deny that you’re mine. Remember that.”

Buffy watched Angelus disappear into the guest bedroom, and tried to think rationally, as she walked to her room, and lay down.

“What the hell just happened?” she said to the empty room, before she drifted off to sleep dreaming of sweet kisses and soft caresses.

************************************************

By the time Buffy finally managed to drag herself out of bed on Saturday morning, half the day had already passed; her clock reading 12:30pm. As she walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face, she contemplated skipping her daily exercise routine and morning run-considering it wasn’t morning anymore- but decided against it, the image of her military type tennis coach suddenly springing to mind. She pulled on a sweat suit and began stretching, as she called the hotel’s front desk to send up a light breakfast.

She let her mind drift as she got into the more grueling stretches, focusing on the tightening and releasing of her muscles, and then letting go, to simply focus on her breathing; in and out, in and out, hold…in and out, in and out, hold…Now was the time when she could let the world fade away, when she could allow herself to be utterly selfish and think only of herself. There were moments when her seemingly “perfect” world could get too demanding and she just need time to escape all the preconceptions and obligations.

‘How can so much be happening so fast?’ she thought to herself.

Opening her eyes she stared at the door to the guest room wondering if Angelus had woken yet, and finding it odd that she should care so much, that she should want to go in and wake him up herself in ways that he would surely thank her for later. But mostly, she just wanted to climb into his bed and curl herself up against that warm, firm body, however cheesy it sounded.

She sighed walking to the suite’s door to open for the breakfast trays, wondering if this was love, and trying to decide how she felt about it.

After the hotel’s staff placed the food on the table, she went to close the door, so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t realize that a very male and VERY shirtless figure was creeping up behind her. As she turned, he swallowed her yelp of surprise, claiming her lips with his sweet kisses, waiting for her to surrender in his arms and wanting her just as crazy with desire as he was. He didn’t have to wait long and he groaned his approval as he drank in her moans and gasps like a man nearly dying of thirst. He thought that if he got enough, his need for her would go away, but he was learning that it would never be enough with her. Every kiss made him want more kisses, every touch made him crave more touches, and every little shiver made him want to make her tremble in ecstasy.

When they finally pulled apart, they were both a little more than breathless.

Buffy held up a hand to his chest, whether to stop him from stepping forward, or herself she did not know. “I don’t understand.” She said, her voice still a little shaky. “How can it be this strong? Feel this good? and still not be enough?” she asked, with each question pulling herself closer to him, until her lips were less than an inch away from his. If Angelus had to look back at the exact moment he lost whatever game they were playing with each other—if it was in fact a game---he would know that it would be now; when the line between seducer and the seduced had been crossed.

Watching the emotions flash across his face, Buffy was intrigued to find fear among them, and though she didn’t know whether or not it was good to acknowledge it, being able to provoke these feelings in him was a high for her.

“ I want you Angelus. I can’t explain it, and I don’t know if I want to be able to, I only know that fact, that I. Want. You. Will you deny me yourself?” She said, her voice getting huskier with every syllable.

Angelus searched her eyes carefully. She was offering what he had wanted her to offer freely to him since the first day they had met, was he going to pass that up because he was scared of the after? Only an idiot would say no to an offer like this! Right?...

************************************************

“Buffy maybe we should talk about this some more.” Angelus said trying to think with his head….his other head….the one on his neck! And swatting at Buffy’s wandering and very enthusiastic hands.

Buffy smirked, and then hid it quickly, liking this power she had over him. ‘It’s so cute. Awww he’s starting to stutter and babble!’ she thought to herself.

“Okay Angelus, let’s sit down, and just talk rationally bout how bad I wanna rip off your clothes right now, ravish you thoroughly, and let you teach me all you know about the art of lovemaking. Of course we were just gonna do all that first, and then talk about it, but if you really want to talk first, then by all means we’ll talk first.” Buffy managed to say with a straight face, as she walked toward the table and started buttering some toast.

Angelus could only stand there and stare at her, before he pulled out a chair and dropped into it, rubbing his forehead furiously, trying to make the beginnings of a headache go away. Soon, a pair of small, soft hands replaced his, and he groaned grabbing Buffy’s hips as she straddled him.

“I’m trying to do what’s right here Buffy. I’m trying to be the adult here. Do you understand that?” he said. “Mmmm. Because this isn’t right, right?” she asked as she pushed down onto the evidence of his arousal. He was helpless to this kind of torture, and she knew it. Leaning down, she bit softly onto his earlobe, nursing it between her teeth, making him hiss. “because this is soooo wrong. Right?”

If she was expecting him to answer when she was planting kisses all over his neck and oh GOD! swirling her little tongue around like that, then she was delusional. This time when she pushed down onto him, he pushed back up into her, causing her to gasp his name in surprise. He growled and got up with her still fastened around him, pushing into him, despite the barrier of clothes, and rushed over to the bedroom, and deposited her onto the bed.

She whimpered at the loss of his touch.

“If we do this, we do this right.” He said before entwining their hands and placing a gentle, but passionate kiss on her lips, as he started to take off their clothes.

“Drink to me only with thine eyes, and I will pledge with mine.” He whispered, reciting a love poem. “Or leave a kiss but in the cup and I’ll not look for wine.” He was slowly, ever so slowly, making his way down her body. “The thirst that from the soul doth rise, doth ask a drink divine.” His hand, tenderly traveling down her face, down her neck, to the valley between her breasts, only to tease her by placing a soft kiss there. “But might I of Jove’s nectar sup, I would not change for thine.” He took a nipple into his mouth, and suckled it, driving her insane with need. “I sent thee late a rosy wreath.” He left her breasts, to trail wet kisses down her firm stomach, before arriving at his destination, and inhaling her natural aroma. “ Not so much honouring thee, as giving it a hope.” His tongue lavished attention on her sweet bud of desire, coaxing it out of its protective folds, and rewarding it with sweet kisses. “ that there it could not wither’d be; But thous thereon didst only breathe,” And as she reached the edge of ecstasy, as she began to think she could take no more,….” And sent’st it back to me;” Would he deny her mercy? “Since when it grows, and smells, I swear, Not of itself but thee!” She erupted beneath him, in sweet hysteria. Before her climax was over, she eased himself inside her, wanting to spare her as much pain as he could, and when he reached the barrier of her maidenhood, he pushed through. Tears trailed down her cheeks, and he kissed them away. “Shhh, I love you.” Angelus said comforting both she and himself with those words. She smiled and professed her love for him as well, and began urging him to finish they’re joining.

This time they reached ecstasy together, now in sweet death, hysteria long gone, and their last thoughts were of this, for if it was indeed death, then it was now that they welcomed it…..together.

************************************************

They had fallen asleep in each others arms, and Angelus wanted nothing more than to stay in that way forever, but considering the fact that Giles and Madame Dupree would be back soon, he didn’t think they would appreciate seeing Buffy in bed with her bodyguard…..naked. ‘Although’ he thought as he brushed away a lock of hair from her face, ‘why anyone wouldn’t want to see her naked is beyond me! But then I guess it’s different for uncles and grandmothers!’

He slowly disentangled himself from Buffy, trying not to awaken her. He failed.

“Angel?” she breathed, her voice husky from sleep. He groaned. Her voice had sounded exactly like that when she had all but forced him into bed…okay perhaps she didn’t force, but she kissed, and touched, and started swirling her tongue around and DAMMIT there was only so much a man could take!

“I’m here love. We need to go get ready, remember your uncle and grandmother are picking us up for dinner.” He answered, trying to force himself to stare at her face as she sat up in the bed and the covers fell from her body.

She grabbed his head in her hands and kissed him, taking her time, seducing once more, wanting him to suffer. When he reached for her she pulled back, glanced down at the lower portion of his body, and quirked an eyebrow. “If I have to suffer, than you have to suffer with me!”

************************************************

When they had arrived at the restaurant, cameras were waiting to get pictures of the wealthy Rupert Giles, the famous Madame Dupree and her surely soon to be famous granddaughter, Elizabeth Dupree. The press had been denied access to Buffy for now 17 years, not many even knew that Madame Dupree even had a granddaughter. It had been a difficult decision to make, but in the end it was all for Buffy. With all the mystery and drama surrounding her parents murder, would she have survived growing up in the spotlight?

Angelus thought about all this as they waited for the food to arrive. He had already seen how devastated she got thinking about her parent’s death, and now that he saw how close she and her grandmother were, he couldn’t understand how she could have spent so much of her life trying to deny their connection. Looking over at Buffy, who was dressed in a cream and pink Versace dress, he silently thanked whatever god was out there for keeping her safe and giving her strength. Perhaps he didn’t understand how Madame Dupree and Giles could have made such an important and difficult decision, but he could thank them, because in the end, it brought Buffy to him. And that was all that mattered. But he knew if he wanted to keep her safe, he had to start thinking about the job, and only the job. Buffy Summers was the job, and nothing more...she had to be.

************************************************

Buffy was sitting in art class watching Angelus carefully. She raised her hand to answer a question Angelus had just asked the class, and lowered it when he didn’t call on her. He had basically been ignoring her since they had made love for the second time, after they had dinner with Giles and Grandmother. She knew that something was wrong, and she only wished he would be open with her. He loved her, she knew that, so why was he trying so desperately to make himself believe that she was nothing more than his charge, and he her bodyguard?

The bell rang signaling the end of class. Cordy walked up to Buffy and laid a hand on her shoulder. “Through my magical powers I have transferred some of my natural bitchiness to you, and give you leave to make him go through hell!” she whispered teasingly. Buffy looked at Cordy with serious eyes. “How did you know?” she asked. “How could I not? Maybe you don’t realize it, but during class he’s like—he acts like if he isn’t watching you, you’ll disappear, and it’s almost like he’s scared of that; of losing you I mean. He loves you, he’s just scared.” Cordy kissed her friend on the cheek and gave her a hug. “So give’em hell!”

As she waited for everyone to leave the classroom, she glanced down at her schedule and saw that she had a free period next. Perfect.

“Angelus” she called confidently, walking up to his desk. He looked up and tried to act as if he didn’t know that she had been in the room the whole time. “Buffy, can I help you?” he asked looking back down at his papers, praying that she wouldn’t start the conversation he had been avoiding since they had made love. She took a deep breath. “Yeah, you can do something for me. I’ve been having some trouble with that painting by Chimenti we took a look at yesterday. I’m sort of confused about the meaning of it. At first I thought it was about love, this all consuming love between a man and a woman, but at the same time the painting’s so full of darkness. I thought that represented deceit and lies. What do you think Chimenti was trying to portray?”

Angelus sighed, “Are we really talking about art Buffy?” Buffy leaned forward “What do you think we’re talking about Angel? I told you I loved you, I gave you something that I could never give andyone else, and it’s something I don’t take lightly. So sorry if I’m a little upset about how lightly you’re taking it. You said that you love me, but ya know what, not really feelin the love right now.” She walked over to the door and closed the blinds. “So how about you tell me the truth Angel, right here and right now, or I swear, you and me are over, I mean totally over, I can easily get a new bodyguard and you can go back to wherever you came from. I don’t need any more lies and fake people in my life right now.”

Buffy stood in front of him, her eyes angry and hurt, waiting for him to say something…anything, but no words came from him, and when she realized that he wasn’t going to tell her that he did love her, and that he trusted her, tears sprung to her eyes.

“The only person I’ve ever hated in my life is the man that took my parents life. Now I hate you, the man who took my heart.” She said, her voice broken and her cheeks wet with salty tears, as she turned away and walked out of the classroom.

Angelus could only stare at Buffy’s back as she walked out of the room, out of his life. After a few moments he began doing something that he hadn’t done since he was a child, he cried. He dropped down into his chair and cried as he went numb with pain. She hated him, and she had every right to, but would she really get him fired? As heart wrenching as this was, he didn’t think he would survive if he couldn’t see her everyday. Wake up and see her and keep her safe, even if she did hate him.

He couldn’t tell her, it would only put her in more danger, only hurt her that much more. He had of course counted on her being angry, but he had thought that after the case was closed, he would have more than enough time to smooth things over with her. He had thought that he could just take her to bed again, and that would take care of everything; He would be forgiven.

He was ashamed of thinking that way, because he now realized what he should have realized long before. Buffy wasn’t just another woman that could be soothed with sweet kisses and soft caresses.

// “We never mean to hurt the ones we love. It’s just that, whatever we do, love hurts; one way or the other.”//

Giles’ words echoed in his mind. He had known that Angelus would hurt Buffy, perhaps if Angelus admitted it, he had known that he really would end up hurting her. He had only hoped that in the end, when he had hurt her, she would have at least known that his heart belonged to her.

************************************************

After Buffy left Angelus’ classroom, she found herself in the bathroom. Leaning against the wall, she laughed bitterly. “How ironic! I always end up here after fighting with him.” She prepared herself for the fresh onslaught of tears as she stared at the door, silently praying to whatever God was out there, for Angelus to walk through that door and comfort her like he had last time. But he didn’t.

She called her Grandmother on her cell phone and asked her to come pick her up. She made some excuse about how she couldn’t deal with all the attention that was on her right now, which was in fact partly true. Her picture was in every magazine, every newsstand, on every other television channel, and most of the school had most definitely noticed. She had been asked for her autograph a number of times today, as if these kids even gave a damn about anything other than Pop music and the latest fashion and trends. Would any of them even listen to her album when it came out? It was all classical music, she wouldn’t do any duets with any famous rock stars, so why did they care?

When her grandmother had come for her, and they were preparing to leave the building, they were stopped by Angelus. “Get out of our way. You are fired!” Buffy said between clenched teeth. He didn’t even blink. “Miss. Dupree, my contract is not terminated until I am told so by Mr.Rupert Giles, and so until I get word from him that I am fired, I am your bodyguard.” He said so professionally and controlled that Buffy wanted to slap him. Turning to her grandmother, he explained the situation. “Someone spilled the information about where Elizabeth is attending school, and so there’s over a hundred camera men, reporters, tv reps, magazine reps, etc., outside waiting for an interview with the youngest Dupree.”

Madame Dupree looked at her granddaughter and then at Angelus, mentally noting the obvious tension between the two. “Interesting, do we know who spilled the information? Well, never mind, it’s in the past. Elizabeth how do you propose we handle this situation?”

Buffy took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. What a day! The whole schools is acting like she’s some sort of celebrity, the love of her life stomps on her heart, and now her grandmother is testing her on the proper way to deal with the press. She never asked for any of this. Why couldn’t people see that she wasn’t perfect? That she was just a normal girl who had just turned 17. She didn’t want to deal with this.

Squaring her shoulders, and lifting her chin, she said calmly “We deal with it the way all the Dupree woman deal with things.” And with that, she walked through the doors into the swarm of people with a smile on her face looking supremely royal and elegant.

************************************************

After her grandmother dropped her off at the mansion, Buffy had to deal with Angelus hovering about her. She didn’t know how she would get through the rest of the day, with the emptiness that was plaguing her, so it didn’t help that she had the source of her misery watching over her. Worse, he wouldn’t even argue with her, he was acting so damn professional and nonchalant.

When she began to walk up the stairs to her room and he began to follow she had had enough. Calmly turning around she told him that he needn’t follow her around the house. Just as calmly he shot back that as her bodyguard he couldn’t very well leave her to wander about a mansion when the media now knew where she lived. Turning angrily and running up the rest of the stairs, Buffy tried to escape him. Finally seeing how futile it was, she faced him once more, but this time the tears were already pouring down her face.

“God, why can’t you just leave me alone? I can’t deal with this right now! You don’t love me, I get that, I can deal with that, but I can’t deal with being around you right now.” She cried brokenly.

For a moment, Angelus only looked at her, then with a groan he pulled her to him, crushing her against him as he claimed her lips with his. Buffy couldn’t help but become pliant and needy in his arms. She began to try to convince herself that the moans that passed her lips were that of protest, and not the beginnings of desire, but then he started to kiss down her neck and she lost all train of thought.

She abruptly pulled away, ignoring Angelus’ soft growl of annoyance, and then he realized that she was still crying. “Don’t cry mo anam chara. Taim I ngra leat go siorai.” (“Don’t cry my heart, my soul mate. I am in love with you forever”) Angelus said reverting to their native language, and hoping that he could better express his heart’s desire in the Gaelic tongue.

His words did nothing to lessen the tears and the sobs, they only grew stronger, but now her eyes were practically blazing red with anger. “You can’t do that, you can’t just come to me after what you did, the way you acted, whisper sweet nothings into my ear, and think that fixes everything. It doesn’t. It can’t be fixed.” She yelled, her voice echoing as it bounced over the walls of the empty house, as she slid to the floor in pure exhaustion. Angelus was shocked, he looked at her before and could clearly see the woman in her, and now he looked at her and truly saw the wounded child in her. Still crying she looked up at him and pointed to her chest. “It hurts here, you broke mo chroi. Your words can’t fix that…nothing can.”

“Buffy please let me show you, I’ll do anything, anything to show you how much I love you, just give me this chance.” Angelus cried sitting on the floor with her.

Buffy didn’t say anything, she just got up and walked over to the door of her room. Before she left him sitting in the hallway, she shook her head sadly. “There’s nothing you can do but leave.” She murmured quietly before walking through the door.

***************************************************************************************************

//Buffy’s Diary Entry//

Dear Diary,

~Buffy~

//End of Diary Entry//

************************************************

Angelus watched Buffy from his classroom window. She was sitting outside, under the shade of a tree, talking and laughing with her friends. A faint smile appeared on his face. She hadn’t smiled like that for awhile. Their breakup was still a fresh wound in his heart, but apparently she had already moved on. It had been a month to the day, since Buffy kicked him out of her life for good, and although he was still aching from rejection and paying for his stupidity, he was happy to see becoming the outgoing and funny girl she had been when they met.

He continued to watch her, and practically growled when he saw Riley Finn walk up to her. Riley Finn, now known as Ri Fisherman, was slowly easing himself into Buffy’s life. It was obvious to everyone. The whole school thought they would make a cute couple, and as the Winter Formal drew near, the soon to be announced nomination of Formal King and Queen was making all the students anxious. Although Buffy and Ri weren’t officially going out, they were sure to get all the votes.

It was absolutely sickening; the two of them were practically attached to the hip. They ate lunch together most of the time, they had classes with each other, and they went to the Bronze with each other. Angelus knew that he shouldn’t let the jealousy get the best of him. He still had to protect Buffy, even if she didn’t want his protection. He knew Finn was up to something, and worse, he had contacts that suspected that Finn had outside help. He was still waiting for confirmation, but It was starting to seem like Finn’s dear old daddy was helping out.

Angelus sighed and sat down at his desk after closing the blinds and locking the door. Once he was seated, he pulled out a copy of Buffy’s case file, and a small notebook. Reading through the file for about the millionth time (even though he had already committed its contents to memory), and then opened the small notebook to a fresh page.

// December 15—I still can’t understand how a man could be driven to such depths as to kill the woman he proclaimed to love, her husband, and now her daughter. There are so many unanswered questions. What really happened the night of Joyce Summers and Hank Dupree’s murder? Was Joyce Summers really having an affair with Jack Finn, or had said murderer harbored a twisted and disturbing obsession with Mrs. Joyce Amelia Summers-Dupree? Did Joyce Summers give birth to a child before the murder? What happened to Jack Finn afterwards? I know I’m supposed to stay professional. It was rule #2: Don’t get personal. A charge is a charge no matter what. That rule fell right behind rule #1: Don’t die. But how can this not be personal? Someone was trying to kill the woman he loved. Someone who may or may not be her brother...//

Angelus looked over what he just wrote and shook his head, as he turned to the back of the book and began writing.

// 1300 hours into the day: Subject B approaches Subject A, while Subject A is outside conversing with acquaintances. Lip reading skills suggest that Subject B was inviting Subject A to accompany him to the local club, the Bronze. Full sweep of “The Bronze” will be made in approximately 200 hours, to check for fire arms or explosives of any kind. Anyone found in possession will be taken into custody, and proper swat team dispatched to check for any remaining explosives or fire arms. Any new information found by contacts will be sent to the private address, via the “special” postal service. Check in to receive further instructions no later than 500 hours //

Angelus ripped the paper out of the notebook and crumpled it up, throwing it into the garbage bin. Nonchalantly, he collected his belongings, and left the room.

Nearly 5 seconds after the door closed, it opened again. A janitor entered the room and began cleaning. When he was done, he collected the garbage, and left. The message would soon be delivered to the intended recipient.

************************************************

Buffy sat on her bed, trying desperately to suppress her laughter as she watched Cordelia go through her closet in awe.

“You wanna borrow something for tonight. Ri told me the Bronze party’s gonna be wicked sinful.” Buffy asked as she watched Cordy try on yet another outfit.

Cordy tried not to grimace when she turned around, she would love to borrow those Prada pumps with the cuffs around the ankle and that blood red silk blouse, and she knew Buffy would do make her hair look even more fabulous than usual; she would look so awesome, and would most definitely have many Winter Formal propositions, but…Buffy seemed so happy right now. Ri was good for her. After Buffy had confided in her about the whole ‘Angelus-bodyguard-in love-blah blah blah’ she had felt so bad for her best friend. Buffy was finally smiling and laughing again, and Cordy was sure it was because of Ri. A good friend would let her best friend go out alone to the Bronze with her maybe-soon-to-be-boyfriend, right? Even if it did hurt like hell!.....they were really nice pumps...

“Ugh! You know I wish I could, I heard it was gonna be killer, but I have to do Mom duty tonight. Apparently she’s doing a complete Mariah Carey, and claiming severe exhaustion. I mean seriously, she doesn’t do anything use up daddy’s money; shopping, flying to Europe, , turning back to the mirrorcruises to everywhere. It’s like come up with a better excuse!” Cordy said. It wasn’t an entire lie. Her mother was pulling Mariah Carey….in Paris…but did Buffy have to know that? No, of course not.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Do you want me to skip Bronze and help you deal with her? It’d be no trouble. Plus, it’s always fun to see your mom pull out the attempts at Oscar Worthy performances.” Buffy asked.

‘Crap, I forgot, Buffy’s my really nice friend. She always helps me deal with mom.’ “Ummm….no that’s okay, I’ll deal. Hey, if she’s suffering from exhaustion, she can’t annoy me too much right?” Cordelia said, putting the pumps and the silk blouse away.

“I guess so. But the offer still stands anyways. If you need me to bail you out, I’m just a text message away.” Buffy said as she watched Cordelia eye her Prada pumps {with the cute cuffs around the ankle} and her new blood red silk blouse. “How bout you take the pumps and blouse already! Seriously if you keep staring at them like that, you’ll burn a whole right through them, and what good would that do us, because then we both wouldn’t be able to wear them!”

“Ahhhh. I love you, I love you, I love you!” Cordelia squealed as she pounced onto Buffy. Putting a hand over her heart, and closing her eyes, she said “I solemnly swear to always keep the wellbeing of these pumps and this blouse forever in my mind, until I return them to their rightful owner.”

For a moment all was silent, and then the two best friends started laughing hysterically, not noticing the figure outside on the sidewalk, who was staring up at Buffy’s window.

************************************************

When he saw Buffy walk through the door of the Bronze, his breath caught in his throat, like it always did when she walked into a room. It was difficult for him to stay focused, to remember what he was supposed to be doing, when she always managed to be so damn beautiful, and real, and sweet, and so…Buffy. If it were anyone else, he would said that he was attracted to her, but this feeling he had for her was entirely different. She was beautiful, no doubt about it, but there was something more to her, like he almost knew her from somewhere...

Getting up and smoothing his pants, he walked toward her. Buffy turned her head and saw him walking over, so she waved and smiled disarmingly.

“Hey Ri!” Buffy said as she placed a friendly kiss on his cheek and took hold of his hand.

“Where’s Cordy?” he asked, even though he wasn’t sorry to see that Buffy’s friend was obviously not there. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Cordelia, because he did, but it was nice to just be alone with Buffy...

As they walked up to the bar, he put his arms around her waist and leaned into her, while she leaned back into him. He lowered his mouth to her ear so that she could hear him. “What do you want to drink?” He whispered softly.

Turning around, she snuggled into his broad chest, and sighed as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Sprite...no Pepsi...no Sprite...okay definitely Pepsi...no wait...”

“How bout I get you a sprite and a pepsi? You can have the best of both worlds.” He asked with a chuckle. “oooo, wouldn’t that be a little bit wicked of me? Cordy warned me about guys like you. You’re just trying to get me all hyped up on Caffeine. You are soooo bad!” She said as she lifted her head up, and wagged a finger in his face. “bad bad Ri!”

“Oh yeah, you found me out, that’s how I get my ladies. Get them drunk on Sprite and Pepsi, and that’s when the party starts.” Ri said as he placed a kiss on top of her head.

************************************************

Angelus sat at one of the tables that were far from the bar and encompassed in shadow, while he watched Buffy drag Riley Finn onto the dance floor. He watched as Riley’s hands went around Buffy’s waist, and as Buffy hands wrapped themselves around Riley’s neck, and as she laid her head on his chest. He watched all this, and his heart broke just a little more.

He had finished his sweep of the Bronze a little later than expected, and so by the time he was done, they were already letting people in. He had thought that he would just stay and keep watch on her. Her new bodyguard, an old friend of his from the academy, would be close behind her at all times, but it was always good to have an extra pair of eyes keeping watch…or rather a few extra pairs, because he had a few people posted throughout the Bronze watching her. Now, he didn’t know if it was such a good idea to stay. It was hard enough being so close to her in school, but not being able to speak to her, to touch her, to love her, but now it was unbearable. At least in school, he had his work to keep his mind occupied, but here there was nothing to distract him from the intimate hold they had on each other; standing there, dancing with each other, Buffy and Riley looked as if they had known each other all their lives. They also looked like the perfect freaking couple. Angelus could practically hear everyone’s awwws while they danced.

“Does it hurt that much?” Someone from deeper in the shadows asked. “I only ask because it looks as if you’re in physical pain.”

Angelus laid his hand above his heart, not in a tragic love lost sort of gesture, but to feel the papers he had placed beneath his shirt, that rested there. Sure that the papers were still safe and secure, he took a long sip of his Scotch. “It hurts that much. It’s like my heart was ripped out while I was still using it.” Staring into his drink, he swirled the Scotch around before he took another long sip. “That’s what love will do to ya! But don’t worry, I’ll get my job done. I always do.”

The person laughed, a low melodious sound. “Yes, of course you’ll get the job done. You’re a bloody professional…and a bloody arse. But don’t worry, I won’t say nothin bout it.” Angelus growled, and when he spoke again, his voice was deep and held a warning. “Spike! Don’t play with me boy. I’m hardly in the mood for your games.”

Spike took a step forward, as if he was going to offer some sort of comfort, but looking around, he thought better of it. Even with their people posted throughout the Bronze, even after the sweep for weapons and explosives, this place, with its seemingly innocent air, was not safe. “I’m not here to play games with you Angelus. I’m here to help; not only the little chit over there, dancin with Captain Cardboard-who if I may add, seems like an even bigger pansy then you are- but to help you too. Don’t be stupid Angelus, don’t let this one get away. From where I’m standin it looks like you dealin with the real Shit! Ain’t love fucking grande.”

Angelus didn’t comment for a moment. “Did you obtain the documents I require?”

Spike sighed, sensing that he would get no where in the topic of love. “Yeah I got the soddin documents. They’re already on their way, via Mail.”

“Good. I’m leaving. Stay and keep watch.” Angelus said as he got up and put his coat on. Spike huffed and stuck his chest out a little bit. “I’m not a bloody dog ya know. You don’t get to say ‘Down Spike’ ‘Stay and keep watch Spike’!”

Angelus gave him a lopsided grin. “When you get a new name SPIKE, them I’ll think about giving you commands as if you were a human being.”

*************************************************/p>

Buffy was dressing for another of her special voice lessons with her grandmother, when the doorbell rang. She ignored it as she expertly fastened the laces in back of her corset. She hated wearing them, no matter how good she looked in them, or how much cleavage they made her appear to have. Grandmother would never let her wear anything but traditional opera clothing. Turning to look at herself in the mirror, she saw the picture that had been taken at her entrance into society ball. Angelus had asked for the third dance, the first having gone to Giles, and the second to a distant cousin. He had been a wonderful partner, and had turned out to be an even more wonderful lover.

“Oh God, not now, please not now!” Buffy moaned as tears began to well up in her eyes. Every time she thought about him she was amazed at how much it hurt. Would it never stop? Would she ever be able to think about him and not want to just die?

“Elizabeth, while I will be the first to commend you for taking the initiative to be fashionably late, you are quickly going beyond the territory of fashionably late, and creeping into the seriously late territory.” Buffy’s grandmother called from outside her door. Buffy tried to wipe her tears away, and stop the fresh one’s from falling, but there always seemed to me more replacing the ones she brushed away. “Grandmother” she whimpered brokenly.

Having heard the desperate plea in her granddaughter’s voice, Madame Dupree rushed into the room and enveloped Buffy into her arms. "Oh mon cher, ce qui est erroné?" (“oh my dear what’s wrong?”) she asked as she rocked Buffy back and forth, trying to comfort her granddaughter. "Grand-mère de l'oh, il blesse si mauvais, et je l'aime tellement. Quel est le problème avec moi? Pourquoi il ne m'aime pas?" (“oh grandmother, it hurts so bad, and I love him so much. What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t he love me?”) Buffy cried, clinging to her grandmother’s gown, wishing that he presence would drive away the hurt and the pain. Madame Dupree help Buffy’s face in her hands and brushed her hair away from her face. "Dites-moi" (“tell me”) And Buffy preceded to tell her all that had happened in the last month and a half; about her first love, her first lover, and her first broken heart.

************************************************

Madame Dupree watched her Elizabeth’s face carefully as she warmed up by doing some scales. Her granddaughter’s face showed none of the turmoil that must have been brewing inside of her. Her heart went out to young Elizabeth. She too had know love and lost love at a young age, and she had been to afraid to fight for it. She only hoped that Elizabeth would learn from her mistakes.

She turned her head to look at Angelus, who was sitting on the couch looking at her granddaughter with such love and awe, and wondered how Elizabeth could think that Angelus didn’t love her, and yet at the same time she, having gone through a similar situation, knew that it was easy to be blindfolded by your own love for another.

After Elizabeth had cried all her tears, she told her that Angelus was downstairs, and she would always remember the fire that had sparked in Elizabeth’s eyes. She had been (still was) furiously angry with him and even more angry with herself for being happy to see him. She held her head high and walked downstairs to begin her scales without so much as a glance over at the spot Angelus was inhabiting.

Madame Dupree smiled secretively. Her granddaughter was part French and the French had passion if nothing else. They wrote the book on tragic love, no matter what those damn Russians say!

************************************************

Angelus could only sit there and stare at her. Madame Dupree and Giles had left the room minutes ago to get something from a bakery down the road, leaving Angelus and Buffy alone in the big mansion.

“Hello Buffy.” He finally managed to say.

She kept silent, only staring into his eyes, her facial expression never wavering. Slowly she walked toward him, her gown sensually clinging to her curves with every step. When she was finally in front of him, she brought her hands up to his face and touched his lips with her own. “If you ever hurt me again, I swear to you Angelus, I will kill you.”

He threw his head back and laughed, throwing his arms around her, and swinging her around. “Never again. I'll try not to do anything that may hurt you.” He promised, as he set her down on her feet. Cupping her cheeks with both hands, his face turned serious. “You make me happy. I don’t remember ever being truly happy. I don’t want to lose you. I love you…always.”

Buffy was surprised to see the tear that fell down his cheek; too shocked to wipe it away, and maybe sensing that it was better to leave it there. “I love you too, always. You won’t lose me.” She confessed as their lips touched again. Angelus’ grip on her didn’t slacken. “Promise, God Buffy please just promise me that I won’t lose you.” He whispered staring into her hazel eyes. “Angel. You won’t lose me baby. Ever. I love you, I’ll always love you.” She breathed, not understanding why he sounded so desperate, and so afraid. “Always.”

************************************************

“You come here boy. I swear if you don’t get your scrawny ass over here I’ll make you wish you were never born. Fucking useless. Just like that whore that was your mother.” Jack Finn yells at the small boy who is curled up in a corner playing with a faceless doll, desperately trying to blend in with the wall so that he may escape his father’s wrath. Jacks stands, angrily, moving to where Riley is cowering and raises his hand to strike the young boy.

“What the fuck did you think you were doing?!? I’ll make you wish you were never born you filthy sonofbitch. Come here so I can whip your ass!” He yanks Riley up, the fat and muscles that make up Jack Finn forcing his young son to stand, looking at his father with fear and hatred and not a little madness in his too youthful eyes.

“Bend over boy and take it like a man! You’re momma liked it like this too! That’s all the fuck she was good for, and that’s all the fuck you’ll ever be good for too. Don’t cry bitch! Take it like a man! Goddamit Riley. Be a fucking man!”

Young Riley curled up into a ball, sobs racking his body, as the voice of a father from his childhood assaulted his mind over and over and over until he thought he’d go mad from the sounds. He remembered all the screaming, all the hurting, every blow and felt them all over again every time the memories came rushing back to him.

Desperately he threw his hands over his ears, trying in vain to block out the harsh words his father yelled at him every night he used to come back home drunk, and every other night when he wasn’t drunk and just wanted to yell at him. It was worse when he wasn’t drunk, then instead of passing out he’d take his frustrations at a life wasted on his son.

“You’ll never be anything boy. Never amount to anything. You’ll never have love, and you’ll never be happy. I’ll make sure of that! It’s all her fault, you know, all her fault. And his, oh, is it ever his, they both have to pay, you know that, right? Yes, they both have to pay and they will, by God, they will! I’ll see to it, they’ll pay, they’ll pay…pay, pay, pay…”

Jack Finn wept the cry of a drunkard who believed everything he said and though. He cried great blubbering sobs that echoed throughout the tiny room where his small son tried to block out the sounds and hoped his father passed out before he remembered he had a son…

“Get onto your knees boy. Don’t have money to pay for some bitches to do it, so you’ll be my bitch tonight…No, you’ll always be my bitch boy. Just like ya momma was my bitch…She’ll always be my bitch.” Riley cried out with the first harsh thrust and willed his mind elsewhere, someplace, anyplace else was better than this…

“Get onto your knees boy. Don’t have money to pay for some bitches to do it, so you’ll be my bitch tonight…No, you’ll always be my bitch boy. Just like ya momma was my bitch…She’ll always be my bitch.” Riley cried out with the first harsh thrust and willed his mind elsewhere, someplace, anyplace else was better than this…

“I already wish I was dead. I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead.” Riley murmured unintelligibly into the darkness of his room. His body jerked and shook, and he moaned in pain, as if he really was feeling every blow all over again.

“No please, not again, not again. Please, please, please, please, no, no, no, no…It hurts. It hurts so badly. I promise I’ll be good. I’ll be good, be good, be good, good, good…. Ahhhhhhhh! Noooooo!” His screams echoed throughout the house. He knew nobody would hear him.

Nobody ever did...

Suddenly the voices in his head stopped, and his body turned rigid with the silence. Footsteps were slowly approaching...a dreaded voice whispered in his ear...

“You can make it all stop boy. Make it all go away.”

More tears streamed down Riley’s face. All he ever wanted was for it all to stop, just to stop. He needed it to stop. So tired. Always so tired. “Please, how do I make it stop? Just wanna...rest.”

The person got closer and closer to Riley and an unbelievably sickening stench clung to him. Riley fought back the bile that was rising in his throat. “You just have to make her pay. If she dies then it all goes away. It all stops, and you can rest. But she has to die, nothing else matters until she dies.”

Hope was shining brightly in Riley’s unfocused eyes. “Buffy. I’ll kill Buffy, and then I’ll rest. I get to rest after that right? It’ll all stop and I can rest?”

Jack Finn laughed and it wasn’t a pleasant sound. “Yeah boy, kill the girl, and then I’ll help you rest...forever.”

************************************************

Buffy sighed blissfully as Angelus’ hands wrapped themselves around her waist, and his lips placed butterfly kisses down the side of her neck. How could she have gone so long without this? His mere presence made her body tingle in anticipation, and the fires in the pit of her stomach that she thought she could quite quell, sprang to life.

“Does your skin burn as deliciously as mine does when we touch?” Buffy’s sultry voice did nothing to help Angelus stay in control.

Every time they had made love that night in LA she had been calling all the shots, something that still amazed him. Despite all the lovers he had previously taken, and all the sexual wisdom he possessed, when they had first made love this little girl, this sexy, wonderful woman, had managed to reduce him to nothing more than a stuttering passion-dazed fool. Inwardly, he smirked; this time he would be in control, and she would be the one reduced to the passion-dazed fool.

So Angelus chose to not answer her question, which only served to amuse her because she could guess what he was thinking. She was about to voice her amusement, when Angelus picked her up and in the process pressed her heat firmly up against his arousal. “Oh God” She moaned deeply, as she lost her train of thought.

Angelus chuckled smugly when she moaned, and leaned into her just a little bit more. “Sorry love, what were you about to say?” He asked, feigning innocence. Though his mocking eyes gave him away.

Buffy glared at him fiercely, before plundering his mouth with hers, and clawing at the buttons of his shirt. She wasn’t sure if she liked the way he was acting right now. When they first made love he had been happy to just let her have her way, to please her without question, now it seemed as if he was in the mood to tease. She was most definitely NOT in the mood to be teased, especially when he had come over looking so scrumptious and delectable in those leather pants, which she really needed to get off of him.

“Why so impatient mo gra?” Angelus continued to tease her, placing small kisses down her neck, over chest and shoulders, relishing in the fact that he had her under his complete control. However, Buffy seemed to be oblivious to the fact that he was even talking. She had already managed to take off his silk shirt, and was now starting on his belt buckle...he really, really needed to get out of those pants...

Buffy’s face turned deathly serious and Angelus wondered how he could have missed the aching that was plain in her eyes. The aching that was for him, for what they brought to each other. Staring him dead in the eye, she pleaded with him. “Please Angel, mo chroi, I haven’t touched you in so long. I haven’t had you in so long.”

And with that, all the control that Angelus had won quickly deserted him. And just as the long groan of desire left his mouth as he laid Buffy’s body onto the bed and climbed over her, he answered in a strained voice, “Yes, too long, we’ve both waited too long.”

Their hands were frantic and almost desperate over each other’s bodies, as if they each were reclaiming their territory. Silent tears made their way down the lovers’ cheeks, whether they were tears of joy or regret, neither knew nor did they care. They had already lost so much time and it had all been for nothing…but they had now, they had tomorrow, and they had all the tomorrows after that.

So, when together they reached ecstasy, they raised their voices to the highest heavens and hailed whatever god had saw fit to bring them together again.

The two lovers, so absorbed in each other, never noticed the figure that had been standing outside in the shadows; watching their every move, taking in their every moan, gasp, and whisper of love and forever. At the same exact moment they reached their peak and screamed in ecstasy, the figure screamed in agony…and betrayal?

************************************************

//Thanx to everyone for the feedback, you guys rock! Especially Heidi, Jay, Christine, and Jenn who are really consistent in their feedback sending, and who always support me and are generous with their advice and laughs. And so, I added 4 characters to this part in their honor!//

The part where Heidi says "He wants you, he needs you, oh baby, oh baby" was taken from 10 Things I Hate About You and twirked a bit.

Buffy was checking her makeup and laughing with Heidi, Jay, and Christine, when she turned to see Cordelia Chase and Jenn Wilson, flushed and breathless, running up to them.

“Hey girls! Getting ready for the marathon huh?” Buffy teased, while Heidi and Jay chuckled at her joke. Buffy smiled realizing how much she enjoying the playful banter that she always got caught up in with these girls. It was nice to have real friends; people who genuinely cared for you. She had never really formed this kind of connection with people in LA.

Cordelia glared at her friends while her hands rested on her knees and she tried to catch her breath. “Did you hear about Ri?” She asked when she finally trusted herself to speak. Looking at their faces she read the ‘duh if we had heard anything, we’d probably be talking about it!’ look that they were sending her way. Sighing she waved her hand in a sort of apology.

Turning, she directed her next question to Buffy. “Ri comes into school early right? I mean, you and him both are disturbingly athletic and healthy people and you do the whole workout before school thing right?”

Buffy laughed at the way Cordy always worded things. ‘How does she manage to sound royal, nosy, and yet really sweet all at the same time?’

“Yeah, I mean we don’t usually work out together, we like to have that time to ourselves. But I see him in the morning…except for today.” Looking at her friends sheepishly, she continued “…cause I overslept.” Buffy blushed remembering what, or rather whom, had kept her up the night before.

“Yeah, well thank god you over slept, cause apparently Ri came into school and wrecked the gym in a fit of rage, then picked a fight with Ryan!” Cordy grimaced, almost not believing her own words.

Jay head shot up. “Sexy, basketball star Ryan?” She asked as she twirled her hair in thought.

“The one and only. Hey Buffy, didn’t he hit on you the other day?” Jenn said, her curiosity getting the better of her. Cordy had just grabbed her and started running right in the middle of a conversation she was having with this REALLY hot guy, and hadn’t even bothered to give any explanations.

Buffy’s face was serious now. She nodded her head. “Yeah, although the rumors got a little far from the truth. He only asked me if I’d like to be his date for the Winter Formal, and I told him that Ri and I already decided to go together as friends.”

Heidi had been listening, although her face had revealed none of her emotions on what was going on, while she filed her nails. After hearing Buffy’s comment she gave a very un-lady like snort. “As friends, my perfectly rounded ass! Go to Saks and buy a clue. He wants you, he needs you, oh baby oh baby.” She remarked dryly.

Buffy quickly shook her head, dismissing Heidi’s words. Then it dawned on her. “Actually guys…I think Ri was right next to me when Ryan asked. You know, Ryan and Ri have that silent competition thing going on. Ya know, they’re all like ‘Who’s the bigger school star!’ You don’t think Ri did all that because of me, do you?”

No one said anything for a few moments. Heidi sighed, sensing that it was once again time for her to bless everyone with her wise words. However, this time she spoke cautiously and kept in mind Buffy’s feelings. Buffy was one of those people who couldn’t help but feel guilty for all the little things that happened in the world.

“We can’t know that he did, and we can’t know that he didn’t, but guilt shouldn’t be an issue, especially since if he did do it because of jealousy, then it sure as hell isn’t your fault girl! But the bigger picture is the fact that it actually happened at all. I mean seriously, this is Ri we’re talking about; he’s like the oldest freakin boy scout I know. So what the hell’s going on with him? He’s been a walking time bomb for days, even if I’m the only one who’s noticed it.” Heidi was staring at everyone, making sure they were taking in what she was saying. “So what do we do about this?”

Buffy’s eyes were watering. Viciously she wiped at them. “He’ll be in sooo much trouble. He could lose his scholarship, and we all know what going to Notre Dame means to him. God only knows what his father will do to him when he finds out. I mean, I’ve never met the guy, but Ri says that his father keeps track of him, and…well, he’s told me a lot of bad things about his childhood, I don’t think I’d like to meet him!” Turning to close her locker she whispered. “As much as I love Ri, he’s like a brother to me, but I don’t think there’s anything we can do for him. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.”

Cordy shook her head furiously. “I don’t think you’re getting me people. You don’t know how bad it looks right now, you think you do, but you don’t. I saw Ri, and he’s…he’s acting like a psychopath. They couldn’t find him after what happened, maybe he went home, who knows, cause he’s not talking. All I know is that he showed up around 2 something, all calm and the usual Ri looking for you Buffy. Then Mr. McDonald found him and took him into the office. He’s probably still in the office cursing, and breaking things, yelling some crap about some bitch who’s gonna die for betraying him, and blah blah blah. I think they called the police to take him to the hospital or something. Guys, I think that maybe…maybe he really needs some help” Cordelia trailed off. Oh yeah, Ri had definitely gone psycho

Around the corner of the hallway, Angelus, who had been listening to the whole conversation, swore and pulled out his cell phone. “Why the hell wasn’t I informed about this whole incident with Subject B? I was assured that he was being watched!” He whispered brutally into the phone. All his control, the calm, cool face that he usually had on, was now lost with the thought that Riley Finn had finally broke and Buffy might be in danger.

The person on the other line warily began to speak. “Sir, I think that perhaps we have a bit of a problem.”

************************************************

Angelus exited his car and walked into a broken down building, that had no doubt seen many years, in the bad part of town. Being a man who enjoyed and even relished in luxuries, he grimaced in disgust at the building.

Once he was inside, he took out his cell phone and checked his messages. Putting the phone to his ear, he listened as a voice gave instructions and deleted the message once it was done.

Turning left, he went down some stairs and saw an extremely drunk looking man up and down and then flashed his badge. The man, who had looked as if he had been passed out, nodded his head and moved away from the door. When Angelus closed the door behind him; the man went back to guarding it.

Angelus whistled softly in amazement. The room was practically a duplicate of the main board room at the FBI headquarters. They had set up shop quickly…not that he hadn’t done this before; he was a regular in the undercover field, but still he was amazed at how intricate plans were.

“Angelus” a man called.

Angelus turned toward the direction of the voice, and saw his superior walking through a set of double doors in the back of the room. He smiled broadly and shook hands with the man.

Wesley Wyndam Pryce was a man he admired greatly. They had gone through training together and quickly became good friends.

“How has desk work been treating you Wes?” Angelus teased.

Wesley glared at him, but it was only part annoyance. Everyone in the agency believed that Wesley and Angelus had been competing for the promotion that Wesley had in the end received, but that was far from the truth. Both men had been dreading the promotion, because they were unwilling to leave the excitement and danger that was constant in undercover work. However, when Wesley fell in love on an assignment in Vladivostok, Russia, he accepted the promotion because he wanted to settle down and have a family. Angelus had thought him crazy, but now, having fallen in love with Buffy and finally finding true love, he could understand his friend….maybe it was time he settled down too.

“As always, I find you extremely amusing!” Wesley said dryly.

Angelus threw his head back and laughed. Then he sighed. “Damn, I’ve missed you Wes, I really have.” He said, making Wesley smile. “You look tired Angelus.” Wesley said now serious. Angelus shook his head. “Didn’t get much sleep last night.” The two men sat down at the table. “I didn’t mean it that way.” Wesley always had been surprisingly insightful. Usually he found it helpful and almost comforting, but now, now it was just annoying.

“I know what you meant.” Angelus murmured as he lowered his head into his hands. “I was trying to avoid talking about it. Really Wes, you have to learn to pick up the signals!”

Wesley stared at Angelus’ head for a moment, before speaking again. “It doesn’t really matter if you don’t want to talk about it right now, Spike’s already filled me in on most of whats going on with you. I’d like to hear it first hand, but if you’d rather not speak of it—“ Angelus’ head shot up. “That fucking bastard! I swear I’ll rip that fucking peroxide blonde head off.”

“Well, you could hardly do that right now could you?” Wesley asked slowly. He made sure that his face showed none of his emotions, it was something that they had been taught early on in their training. Never let your emotions show what you were thinking…or planning. It was yet another thing they had learned in their training, that continually seeped into their daily lives. It was something they could use against anyone…even their friends when necessary.

Angelus knew he was overreacting, and he also knew that Wesley was purposely baiting him, but fuck it, he was pissed! “Why the hell can’t I?” he all but screamed.

Wesley leaned back in his chair, and carefully searched Angelus’ eyes, before saying his next statement. “We need him to protect Elizabeth.” After saying it, he watched Angelus deflate, watched his anger fade away. Chuckling a bit, he smirked. “Actually Spike didn’t tell me anything. It was fun finding out that you’re in love this way.”

“Was it like this with Katia?” he asked, referring to Wesley’s Russian wife. Wesley’s eyes turned wistful. “It’s like that everyday with Katia.” Looking over Angelus’ shoulder at nothing in particular, he began his carefully planned speech. “The lives we’ve chosen, aren’t easy ones, and definitely are not without a daily dose of danger. I thank god everyday that Katia accepts that this is what I do…some people wouldn’t be able to. In the beginning I lied to her, I had to, because even If I had to be in that sort of danger, I could never put her in it. I didn’t realize how much I was killing myself, and our relationship, I thought I was protecting her…but maybe I was just trying to protect myself. From all I’ve heard and read about this Buffy of yours, I can tell that she’s strong, but there’s only so much a person can take.”

Angelus was confused. “What are you trying to say Wes?” Wesley was annoyed. “How dense have you become? Ugh! In the end I had to tell Katia. I know now that It was for the best, but I almost realized that too late. I’m trying to help you Angelus. You’re my friend, and I want you to be happy, and you’ve never been happy. I was blind before to not see it, but now I do. You love her, so tell her!”

Angelus turned his head, not willing to let his friend to see the emotion that had to be plain in his eyes.

Wesley sighed, not knowing if he had gotten through to him. “Onto more pressing matters. Update me on the latest information on the case.”

************************************************

Buffy groaned as she uncurled herself from her position on the sofa. Rubbing her eyes, and stretching out her body, she tried to dispel fatigue from her limps. Ever since she had gotten home from school she had been waiting in anticipation near the phone.

Cordelia had called her on her way home from school to tell her that Ri was back home, supposedly safe and sound. Buffy had been so relieved that she had had to pull the car over and stop crying before she could finish the drive home. It had been nearly a month since Ri had gone missing and her mind was always coming up with gruesome stories on how they would eventually find his mangled body in a ditch somewhere. She had come up with so many horrid stories that it was nearly impossible to believe that he had allegedly been hiding out at a friend’s home in LA.

The revelation seemed too…ordinary.

When she had finally gotten home she had tried to call him but his aunt had asked her to give the family a bit of time to collect themselves. She could understand that, but she thought that Ri have would at least tried to call or contact her in some way. After hanging up with his aunt, she had frantically dialed Angel’s number, desperate to hear a comforting voice and needing his clear mind to help sort out her confused one, but that only resulted in more confusion because apparently Angel had neglected to tell her that he had disconnected his cell….and his house phone….and that as of 2:20 pm he no longer worked at Sunnydale High School....

She had no one to turn too.

Her uncle had just flown to New York that morning and would be in meetings all day, and her grandmother had boarded a plane to France a few hours ago. She was alone.

And with that she had fallen asleep curled up on the sofa, hoping that when she awoke she would no longer be alone. Here she was now; having just awoken from a not so peaceful sleep [in a not so comfortable position] and she couldn’t say that she was surprised to see that she was still alone. Cocking her head to the side, she stilled her movements. After a moment of silence she shook her head.

‘Come on Buffy, you’re not living in teen horror land. You live in an old mansion and its windy outside. Creaky noises come with the package.’

Laughing at her paranoia, she reached for the phone. She needed to talk to someone and Cordelia sprang to mind; couldn’t just sit here and get freaked out by the wind. If it was a bit disarming to find that the phone was no longer on the coffee table having been ripped out of the wall, Buffy didn’t let it show on her face. Quickly she assessed the situation.

‘Well not much of the situation to assess yet ya know? I mean okay so phone’s ripped out of the wall, Freaky creaky noise that I heard a second ago is probably a psycho killer, and oh God I really am living in teen horror land!’

Grabbing the closest thing to her (the tv remote) she prepared to use it as a weapon and run for help. She slowly made her way toward her jacket, and keeping her senses focused to alert her of any other sounds or movements, Buffy fished through her pocket for her cell phone. Eyes darting around the room, her fingers automatically pressed the speed dial for 911, when nothing happened she looked down. Her cell phone’s screen was blank.

Turning it over she swore softly when she saw that the battery had been removed. A movement at the side of her vision had her whipping her head to the side. The window was open and the curtains were billowing softly with the wind. Her heart started to beat faster, she was desperately trying to keep panic at bay but every passing moment made that harder and harder. When she looked back she would be angry at herself for letting her fear overpower her common sense. She made a run for the side door and screamed when someone caught her from behind.

Instincts took over and she threw her head back waiting for it to connect with her attacker. She didn’t have time to take pleasure in her assailant’s grunt of pain. Once the arms around her went just a bit lax, she tried to score another point by hitting the person across the head with the remote that she just remembered was in her hand.

She wasn’t anticipating her attacker to be faster than she, wasn’t anticipating the hand that gripped hers in the air, twisted it until the satisfying pop of something going out of place was heard , and definitely wasn’t anticipating the pain that shot up her spine when a kick to the back that forced her to the ground. It all happened so fast that when she looked back at it, it almost seems unreal, a dream.

She can vaguely hear the remote drop on the wood floor and shatter, a piece of plastic flying through the air and cutting her along the cheek. She can hear the remote fall, but she can’t feel the blood seeping onto the floor from her arm or the sting of the slash on her cheek, she can’t even feel the wet rag pressed against her mouth, but she can feel the darkness slowly creeping up and overtaking consciousness.

And then everything’s just black.

************************************************

When Wesley walked into the containment cell, he could practically feel the waves of rage and frustration Angelus was exuding. Calmly walking over to the chair that he had been provided with, Wesley tried to quell the natural urge to help his friend. There was a mission and Wes had to look at the big picture, a bigger picture than Angelus; it was a sad fact that his friend was so miniscule compared to their mission. Sitting down, he began to flip through some files not really focusing on anything, just wanting to look casual while he collected himself. He didn’t want to be the one to tell Angelus the news, knowing how he felt about Elizabeth, but he thought that his friend at least deserved to hear it from someone he was close too. After the entire operation unraveled in front of Angelus’ eyes, he wondered if they could still be friends. If someone had been using Katia like this could he stand to be even close to them? But then, this wasn’t about him, Katia wasn’t involved, and this—in the end—was the job. Wesley had to be all about the job.

“What the fuck is going on here Pryce?” Angelus asked through clenched teeth.

Wesley slowly looked up into Angelus’ fury filled eyes and let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Seeing all that pain in his friend’s eyes, he could feel his resolve slipping. Better to get it all out before he had no resolve left.

“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but as your friend I thought it would be best coming from me.” Wesley began as he watched Angelus start to walk back and forth again. He waited a moment so that Angelus would turn to him. When he was sure that he had Angelus’ total attention, he continued. “Elizabeth was kidnapped.”

Angelus’ head snapped up. “What?”

“Elizabeth was kidnapped at approximately 4:16 pm this afternoon at the mansion on Crawford Street—“

Angelus interrupted him before he could continue his report. “I know where the hell the mansion is! You’re giving me useless information. Tell me what I need to know so that I can get her back!”

“You won’t be getting her back.”

Angelus shook his head in confusion, sure he had heard wrong. “What do you mean I won’t be getting her back? You want me to leave her out there with the sadistic fuck that’s doing all this?”

Wesley stood up and walked toward Angelus. “I’m afraid you aren’t understanding me at all Angelus. You have been officially taken off this operation. Under normal circumstances we would simply give you leave, however considering you’re obvious state of emotional distress, I’m under orders to hold you in containment until this is resolved.”

With his back to the wall, Angelus slid to the floor looking beaten and tired. “Are you even hearing yourself Wes? An innocent girl is out there alone with someone or someones who want her dead, what’s not to say that they’ll throw in a little torture before they do the dirty deed?”

He didn’t care about the tear that was falling down his cheek, he couldn’t care about anything anymore because his heart had been ripped out of chest just as Buffy might have been ripped out of his life merely hours ago. “I want answers and I want them now. I want to know why Buffy wasn’t being watched from the moment I was called down here. The moment I was asked to come to the office, there should have been people watching the mansion and a team prepared to assure her safety. I want to know how she could have been kidnapped if she was being monitored the whole time!”

“Once I called you in, of course there were men who went on duty. Those men are now being treated in the infirmary. They were attacked and seemingly outnumbered. We are trying to assess what had happened---” Once again Wesley was interrupted.

“Bull. I’ve known you too long for you to think you can lie that easily to me Pryce. You’re feeding me a bunch of bull shit.”

Angelus jumped up and stalked toward his friend. “I’m going to tell you what I think Lieutenant Pryce. I think that you were telling me the truth when you said that you had people watching Buffy. That sickens me because I think that those people just sat there and watched while an innocent young girl was kidnapped from her home…watched while an innocent young girl was dragged to her grave…I’d forgotten how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other. It was nice to know that I’d have you here on this assignment, but now I wonder at how much you’ve changed. Look at you Wes, all grown up. It’s gotten to you, no matter how much you tried to fight it; it got to you. But hey, it’s all about the mission right? The end justifies the means and all that.”

Wesley managed to keep his demeanor calm and indifferent, no matter that all of this was hitting way to close for comfort. “You’re right. It is all about the mission Angelus; it has to be. I’m sorry it’s Buffy that’s in the middle of this, but it’s beyond her now. It sounds pompous and harsh, even to me, but she’s just a pawn. She’s always been just a very useful pawn. It’s unfortunate but real. Now we have the opportunity to use her to win the game, and I’m sorry but I can’t let that opportunity go to waste.”

Throughout the speech Angelus had barely managed to contain his anger, tightly clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides. With every breath, that muscle on the side of his forehead would twitch angrily, and everything he looked at was covered with a red haze. His sight focused to a pinpoint that centered on Wes and everything he, Angelus, was going to do to a man who called himself a friend. Now he understood, oh God but he had been a fool before. It was all right in front of him, but he had been too blind to see. “You’ve known all along.”

Wesley’s smile was poignant. “Ahhh, give the man a prize…”

Cordelia knew that at this very moment, as she walked down the hall to home room, people were whispering behind their hands to each other. She didn’t think she would have gotten used to it so quickly…or maybe not used to it, but more tolerant of it.

It had been like this for the past week, ever since the police had found Buffy’s mansion broken into, and Buffy missing. All that had been left of her was some dried blood on the floor. Somehow the press had gotten wind of it, and rumors were flying like crazy. As Buffy’s best friend, all eyes were turned to her for information on where her friend could be, and every single time someone asked her, she couldn’t help but want to yell “Don’t you think I want to know?!?!?!”

It used to be that Cordelia Chase walking down the hall commanded respect, now all she got was whispering and pity. Well damn it, she didn’t want anyone’s pity! Everyone was acting like Buffy was dead. She was missing, not dead! Why did everyone have to assume that she’d been killed?

They hadn’t found a body, and as sickening as the thought was, it was the only thing getting Cordelia through the day; the glimmer of hope that her best friend was still alive. If they were going to take away the façade she had spent so many years building, they could at least let her keep that last glimmer of hope.

She could only imagine how she looked to everyone. Usually so glamorous, she was now dressed in some faded blue jeans and a white tee. It wasn’t like she had made some tragic crime to fashion. With her too casual attire, hair carelessly thrown up in a ponytail, and no makeup, while still undoubtedly beautiful, she seemed so ordinary. The glamour that seemed to be ingrained in her chemical makeup was gone, and suddenly Cordelia Chase seemed like just another high school teen. Except that no other high school teen, could possibly have had sadder eyes.

And the saddest thing was that she wasn’t the only one. The school days seemed all too heavy and so much longer, the shadow of sorrow having laid its hand so gravely upon Sunnydale High. Even the teachers seemed slower to teach, lapsing into silences and staring at an empty chair in the front of their classrooms. Buffy’s presence had somehow changed the whole atmosphere. The absence of her smile seemed to make every period more dismal then the next.

Walking into the history classroom, Cordy walked toward the back of the room, foregoing her usual seat in the front. Sitting in the front would only make her more susceptible to the stares of her classmates. She tried to pay attention, she honestly did, but her eyes kept wandering to Buffy’s usual seat. She could remember Buffy’s first day of school, when she entered, blindingly pretty and surprising smart.

But the usual Cordelia could have hardly cared about her--unless she was to become competition of course—until she had heard her sassy remarks to Willow. Then, she had grudgingly admired the girl. Her first day, and she was already letting people know that she was not to be messed with.

//"Hi, I'm Buffy.”

"What and actually know a thing or two about history? Oh yes, God forbid, I was acting like we were in an actual history class or something!" Buffy shot back.//

It was then that she had decided to step in, not particularly because she had been pissed at Willow for acting so bitchy, but it had been the perfect opportunity to meet her possible competition, and let her know that *she* and no one else ruled. She certainly hadn’t expected to find Buffy witty and genuine. After all, while no one would ever mistake any of her “friends” to be smart or even witty, they were a bunch of pretty girls, and pretty girls were always the ones you wanted to watch out for.

None of them had any sense of loyalty, and would bump Cordelia out of the way if the opportunity arose. But Buffy was authentic. She was confident in a way Cordelia never could be. She didn’t care what people thought of her, and wasn’t quick to judge others. Her attitude was naturally alluring, and her wit only added to it.

//“So what’s was up with little Miss I’m trying way too hard to be a bad girl?”//

Their friendship progressed so quickly, and Cordelia had felt honored in a stupid kind of way that Buffy had confided in her about all the horrible things she had gone through, and she had felt so relieved to find that she too had a friend to confide. And now, the possibility that she would never again have that with Buffy was choking her.

For the first time, she knew what it was like to feel real anguish for someone…it wasn’t a good feeling, but it showed how much Buffy had changed her for the better. The pre-Buffy Cordelia Chase could never have felt such an emotion. She was getting to the point where she was becoming too successful in blocking those emotions.

Her eyes traveled down and mentally she traced the pen-made lines on the desk that she was sitting in, as her thoughts began to bring tears to her eyes. Suddenly, looking at the lines, brought back another memory...

//”I am not going to see a psychic with you Buffy. Do you know how retarded you sound right now.” Cordelia said to her friend as they passed a store that was having its grand opening.

The two of them started laughing. “Diamond and I would laugh hysterically after leaving…I mean seriously ‘long life, great passionate love, and Mississippi’ I must be sure to have the most fascinating life. I’ve been meaning to buy a dog and name him Shamrock by the way…it only seems proper”//

Buffy had meant to go to see the psychic, and one thing Cordelia had learned about her new friend was that if she meant to do something, there was no stopping her. They had gone to see the psychic and laughed for hours afterwards because they had managed to convince the Miss Chloe look alike that they were lesbian lovers and that Buffy did indeed have a dog named Shamrock who she had taken to Mississippi when she was touring with her Russian cousins TATU.

But the visit had been a tad bit more disturbing than either of them had liked to admit. The psychic had asked them if they wanted their palms read, and Cordelia had foregone it, claiming that she’d rather not know if she was going to die tomorrow. Buffy had insisted on doing it, because she had said that if she was going to die tomorrow, she had to pick out the best outfit possible.

When the woman took Buffy’s hand, she began to trace her life line, then drew her hand away from Buffy’s as if she had been burned and frantically ushered them out of her door as if she were scared of some bad omen they would bring to her if they stayed. She hadn’t even taken her payment.

Now, as her finger traced the line on her desk, her mind recalled the old woman tracing the line on Buffy’s palm, and as if the memory had become reality again, she snatched her hand away when she got to the end of the too short line…and covered her mouth as sobs started escaping. Everyone must be looking at her, but all she could do was stare at the end of the line, as if it really symbolized the end of Buffy’s life.

She felt arms going around her shoulders, gripping her lightly, trying to get her out of her seat. She attempted to shrug out of them, she didn’t need pity, because Buffy wasn’t dead! But the arms were steadfast. Finally, without seeing who was holding her, she stopped struggling, to absorbed in her grief and tears, and let herself be led out of the room.

************************************************

Cordelia couldn’t stop the onslaught of tears. She still didn’t know who was holding her, or where they had taken her, but she was comforted by the strong arms and broad chest. All she could do was cling to whoever her comforter was and wish that the tears would eventually pass, that she could be strong enough to stop them, but they kept coming and coming, and she felt as if she couldn’t breathe.

It was some time before she actually managed to stop crying, she was sure that she had heard the bell signal the next period some time ago. She had spent over an hour crying all over someone’s shirt and she had no idea who that someone is. Whoever was holding her, felt her breathing coming easier, tipped up her chin with his finger, and proceeded to kiss her until she couldn’t think much less feel anything other than senselessness.

When they drew from each other, both breathless, she gasped. The last person she would think would give a damn about her was the one who had come and saved her from a complete breakdown. Suddenly, he was that person from her past. That person she had loved so completely.

Finding her voice she whispered unbelievingly...“Xander?”

***************************************************************************************************

Buffy shivered, trying to wrap her arms tighter around her body.

When she had been taken from the mansion, all she had been wearing was a light pair of grey sweat pants and a white tank top. Perhaps if she had known that she was going to be kidnapped by a good friend, drugged, and then thrown into a freezing, claustrophobic room, she would have thought to throw on a sweater or jacket….her bad…

Bitterly she laughed, trying to ignore the pain it brought. If people could only see perfect Elizabeth Dupree now! Little perfect Elizabeth Dupree, with her perfect hair, her perfect make-up, her perfectly stylish and chic clothing…all stripped away; now not nearly as perfect they had thought. She winced as she lifted her hand to the side of her head. With dried blood masking the side of her face, scarlet welts along her arms and legs where she had been bound, and scrapes and bruises from when she had been viscously thrown into her prison, she could only imagine the vision she presented.

Groaning in pain, she attempted to push herself up against the wall, but her body was still so weak from the blood loss and the drugs he was still administering to her. Everything still seemed so foggy, and sometimes she could barely remember what was happening to her. But she could remember the shock of waking up and looking into Ri’s crazed blue eyes.

She wondered not for the first time since her imprisonment, how it had all come to this. How had Ri been driven to this point of insanity? Or better yet, Why?

She could feel the pain deep inside of her. Not the physical pain, although that was almost just as bad, but the hateful sting of betrayal. Because now, Buffy was beginning to understand the game all too well.

Betrayed by Ri. Betrayed by Giles…. Betrayed by Angel….

Giles must have known about all this; about Ri and his plan for her, and that’s why he hired Angel. All that bullshit about a bodyguard being for protection from the Russian government was simply lies to get her to play along. All she was to Giles and God, even to Angel, was a pawn, perhaps in Angel’s case a very attractive, very useful pawn. He needed to get close her, and the best way to get close enough of course was to become her lover. How clever of him.

They knew that Ri was going to do this, or at least knew that he was going to attempt it, and she had to wonder if they had just sat back and let it happen for their own benefit. She knew that Giles loved her and never wanted to see harm come to her, so she was holding onto the hope that he didn’t know that things were going to go so far, but that didn’t ease the hurt. No, it only furthered it, because it only led to a string of more lies. Giles must have agreed to some terms with Angel, and Angel must have reneged on the contract terms. So really when you got down to it, anyway she saw it, Angel had been out to do nothing but use anything and anyone to his advantage.

And wait, the revelations keep on coming. Ri Fisherman, perhaps her closest friend, was in actuality Riley Finn, son of the bastard who murdered her parents. Ain’t life just grand?

Finally giving into her tears, she let them come pouring out and once they started she didn’t know how to stop them. No matter that the force of the sobs racking her body was putting pressure onto the sore and painful wounds that adorned her, actually the pain helped, made her feel real, instead of some cheap shell of a person that people were so quick to use and discard. Imperfection at its best.

She didn’t know how long she cried, it seemed as if all she did in her prison was cry and sleep. She wasn’t even sure how long she had been in confinement, it must have been only days, though it seemed like years, but now time meant little to her; all she knew now was pain and hurt. Maybe that’s all she ever really knew.

Wiping her eyes furiously, she cried out, screaming her frustration, banging her battered hands against the concrete ground in anger. Anger at the world yes, but mostly anger at herself. She was disgusting herself. Sitting there, beaten and angry, crying and pitiful, when she could be thinking of some sort of plan to get her freedom. She had no one left, there was no one to save her, except herself, and in that moment she accepted that she was alone.

Alone, but not out of the game...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The room around him seemed more dismal than usual, and as he sat in his office chair, quietly nursing the same glass of whiskey that he had poured for himself nearly 2 hours prior, he slowly appraised his environment thoughtfully. A frown marred his usually amiable face, and he raised his fingers to his temple, wondering if it was possible to simply wish away aches and pains.

Wesley Wyndham-Pryce was beginning to think that he was much too old for this job. It was a laughable thought, considering that he was only just barely 30 years old, but he supposed that when you were in such a tedious line of work, the years doubled themselves. And yet, this was the career he had always wanted, the career he had always dreamed of.

He had been prepared for this life since his early childhood, had been molded and shaped into his father’s image of a son worthy to follow in his footsteps. Roger Wyndham-Pryce had excelled to the highest ranking lieutenant in all of the generations of Wyndham-Pryce, securing his eminence in the family, but to have a son who didn’t excel to such a degree would have marred his name, shaming him in his own father’s cold and dead eyes. So Roger had done anything and everything to push his only son to surpass all and every set limit, and Wesley had of course let him, even though it meant leaving home at 9 to live at the academy until he was 16, to only see his mother, whose health had long been failing, at the most twice a year.

It had been a few months after his graduation from the academy, when he went to Oxford to continue his studies until he could enter training for a government position, when he was made aware of his mother’s death. He had rushed home immediately, only to find that his mother had been buried nearly 2 months before, and that his father had deemed the situation unnecessary to interrupt his education. His mother had been on her death bed calling for her only son, and he had been away enjoying the freedom that came from being away from home, independent in college.

It had been his mother’s death that sparked his quietly planned rebellion against his father. Playing the part of an obedient son, he finished his time at Oxford before accepting a position not in the English Parliament, but in the American government. This, to his father, was the most sordid betrayal possible, and he had threatened to disown Wesley if he left England, almost resorting to violence to keep him from leaving the country of his birth…the country of his mother’s death…

Wesley had felt no remorse in his leaving, no form of sorrow at all really, he had seen his journey to America as a new beginning, and he imagined that those first people to have claimed America to be the land of promise, had felt exactly as he had at that moment. After the required training period and passing the necessary examinations with marks well above above-average, he had entered the FBI, having since formed a strong friendship with Angelus.

They had been a bit experienced when they were both sent to Russia with a team to deal with a possible terrorist threat. They were to be stationed there for 6 months; it was there that he met Katia. His world came crashing down, but she had been there to pick up the pieces and, in the end, when he had to leave, he took her with him. Their happily ever after fairytale had certainly had rockier roads than Cinderella and her Prince Charming, but everyday he looked back and saw how worth it, it all was.

Katia was everything to him. They were soul mates, connected in a way that he had never thought possible, and during his stay in Russia, when her life had been in danger, he had been ready to kill for her; he had killed for her.

When he saw his friend after the latter’s meeting with Elizabeth Dupree, he knew that Angelus had fallen in love. How he had wished that it was not true, but Spike later confirmed his suspicions, and by then, Angelus was too far in to be pulled out, and everything had gone too far. In essence, it was too late for any pain to be spared.

Violently he hurled the glass of whiskey at the wall, taking no pleasure in its deafening crash and splatter, all the time cursing whatever power had led to this. He had lost his first and truest friend the day he had put Angelus into confinement, or perhaps Angelus had been lost to him since the moment Elizabeth Dupree came into the picture. As he turned his chair around to look into his mirror’s unrelenting depths, the face that stared back at him looked all to much like his father’s, the one person he swore he would never become.

Sickened, he picked the mirror up and threw it at the opposite wall, this time taking distinct pleasure in the sound of its shattering. Then, he paused for a moment, his frown still present, having deepened with each passing moment, and then he reached for the telephone. Perhaps he couldn’t salvage his friendship, but at least he could try to save his friend from being completely destroyed.

“Spike, we’ve got to get Angelus out of containment. Right. Now.”

~~~~~~~~~~

As his footsteps echoed throughout the room, Buffy managed to slowly lift her head up and watch as he walked toward her. Lowering her head just a bit, she peered up at him through her lashes, trying to assess the situation. He looked too calm and too put together, and though she was quick in her attempt to suppress it, her fear of him rose quickly, taking a firm grasp of her chest.

He was walking with confidant and purposeful steps and he was dressed impeccably in dark designer jeans with an equally expensive looking white shirt, and carrying a duffel bag casually in his left hand. His hair was slicked back and a pair of Gucci sunglasses rested atop his head. He even had the audacity to be smiling amiably as if he didn’t have her caged up like some sort of animal. How was it possible after all that had happened, he could walk in here looking completely sane and the embodiment of the Ri Fisherman that she had been so close with?

Squatting down in front of her, and taking her chin firmly in his hand, he looked deeply into her eyes. After a few dragged out moments of silence he sighed and let go of her chin, turning to open the duffel bag that he had brought with him.

Shuffling through it, he carefully took out some folded clothes, a first aid kit, a towel, a plastic bowl and a large bottle of water, and set them next to her.

Still trying desperately to hold back her fear and assess the situation critically, Buffy remained quiet and still, until she realized that he was just going to stand there staring at the now empty duffel bag until she said something.

“What do you want?”

Her voice was hoarse from the hours of sobbing relentlessly. She felt no need to provoke the psycho-crazed person her friend had become, but she couldn’t help keep the venom out of her voice. Betrayal was something she didn’t take well, and she certainly didn’t appreciate being kidnapped and beaten anymore than being betrayed. At the same time, her mind was racing, wondering if any advantage could be gained from this moment of sanity that he was having.

Turning his head, his eyes narrowed, focusing in her huddled figure as if he had just realized that she was still there. For a moment, Buffy could see that glazed look taking over his eyes, but it went away a moment after, and he seemed coherent enough.

Gesturing to the items he had set down for her, he spoke for the first time.

“You can clean up. I brought you some clothes and…” Suddenly he trailed off, his gaze traveling over her bloody body, and then he turned his head away feeling the shame of his actions. Just as suddenly, he bent down and retrieved the first aid kit, walking toward her again. When he reached out to her, she couldn’t help but flinch and recoil from his outstretched hand; the same hand that had inflicted such pain upon her.

Her rejection seemed to anger him, but at least this time he seemed to have some semblance of control over himself.

“They’ll get infected, some of them are bad, and you could get really sick.” He reasoned with her, his voice sounding oddly compassionate and comforting.

Incredulously, Buffy looked straight into his eyes, her fury escalating to tremendous heights. Forgetting her resolve to be smart and avoid angering him, she snapped at his concerned tone. “You did this to me!” She all but screamed into his face, as her small hands reached up and attempted to push him back onto the ground.

Before her hands could reach his chest he grasped them, and brought them to his lips to kiss her palms reverently. It was then that Buffy realized that he was almost trembling and that tears were streaming down his face. For the first time in a long time, she wasn’t the one crying. This was new….

Now he was openly sobbing, never having released her hands, still holding them pressed to his lips. “I’m so sorry Buffy, I don’t know…he promised, God I’m so sorry, I only wanted it to stop, but it won’t stop and he just keeps yelling…..I just wanted to make it stop, please make it stop!!!!”

Buffy’s body went rigid as Riley crumbled into her arms, more confused than before. Someone was making him do this or maybe not really someone at all. He was obviously mentally unstable; perhaps his mind had simply created some antagonist that was causing his complete breakdown. If so then this could be Buffy’s only chance at freedom and safety.

Relaxing her body, she rubbed his back, shushing him and letting words of false comfort seep past her lips. When he lifted his head up to look at her so pathetically, wishing beyond anything else that she believed him and forgave him, she could only manage a small smile to reassure him and caressed his face lovingly, all the while feeling as if this whole act would make her sick. She could almost feel the bile rising in her throat.

Taking his head into her hands, she wiped away his tears softly with the towel he had laid on the ground next to her, and guided his hands toward the first aid kit, giving him unvoiced permission to see to the wounds he had inflicted upon her body. All she could think of was that she needed to let him believe that everything would be okay between them.

“Ri you need to listen to me.” She said, her voice soft and hypnotizing, encasing him in its silky smoothness, as he efficiently went about bandaging her up.

“Ri, whatever they’re telling you, don’t listen.” Forcing his eyes up to her, she silently demanded that he listen carefully. “Look at me Ri. I’m Buffy and it’s—It’s okay, I’m not mad at you, I only want to help you make this stop.”

He shook his head vigorously up and down, looking like a sad little boy. When he spoke, Buffy was almost certain that he was a sad little boy. “Yes please, make it stop. He keeps telling me that…”

Buffy sat up straighter, and then winced with the movement, but she didn’t stop, she couldn’t stop. “Who Ri? Who’s doing this to you? If you just tell me I promise I can help.”

Almost literally throwing his body against the opposite wall, he started wailing like a wounded animal. “No, no, nonono.” Holding his head he slid down the wall, trying desperately to fight whatever was taking hold of him.

Not about to risk losing such indispensable information, Buffy slowly lifted herself off the ground by dragging her body up the wall she had been sitting up against. Not trusting his stability, she decided against walking over to him. He looked dangerous and too wild to touch now, and if she didn’t find out now, she would never find out.

For some reason beyond fear and confusion about Riley’s state of mind, Buffy’s breath started to come too quickly and her head swam. Quickly bringing her hand to her stomach as if that would stop its violent lurching, she tried to speak but no words would come out. She needed to know, but her voice had left her, much as everyone else in her world had left her.

Abruptly Ri’s wailing stopped, though he was still clutching his head fiercely, and he looked up straight into her eyes, almost stopping her breathing completely.

His voice was broken and afraid when he finally spoke.

“It’s daddy Buffy. Our daddy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

TBC. Please send feedback and tell me what you think. You all should probably thank Christine because without her expert beta-ing skills you guys would've ended up getting this in like 2 years. She's the one who really pushed me to get going. Thank you to her!