It was the happiest day of her life.

Inwardly Alf groaned, although the smile never left her lips.

That sounded like something her mother would have said. Worse: it was something her mother had said. ‘The day I was married, Dotty, was the happiest day of my life!’ At the time she had heard her mother say that, Alf had thought, what a cliché. What a crock!

Not even her mother could be wrong all the time. Alf could not think of a time that she had been happier.

Maybe she would have to re-evaluate other things her mother had said. There might more hidden truths. She glanced around her briefly. Nah! The universe had not ended, so it was pretty certain that no other pearls of wisdom had passed Audrey McShane’s lips.

She looked straight ahead and slightly up, straight into Vlaash’s face. Despite the fact she knew that the Martian face was inscrutable to pretty much every other race, she would have sworn the abbot was smiling.

When Nick had accepted her proposal, neither of them could think of anyone they would rather have perform the marriage ceremony than Vlaash. The only problem they could see was if someone in authority on Mars objected. So, having obtained Vlaash’s agreement, they went straight to the top, Emperor Izlyr himself, for permission.

They had anticipated that they might have to convince him, but when Izlyr had agreed immediately the only thing more surprising was his reason. Not for services rendered to Mars. Not because Vlaash was their friend. He said that, as they were from Earth and as no one else from that planet was alive to perform the ceremony, it was only neighbourly for Mars to assist.

Neighbourly Martians! Who’d have thought it?

She stole a glance over at Nick. She had been avoiding meeting his gaze all day, for fear of what she might do. She was so happy, she was not sure if she would laugh or cry. Or both, simultaneously.

Nick was looking down at his hands, but he too was smiling.

Off to Nick’s side were his Guards of Honour – fellow nobles of Draconia, the Doctor, Supreme Admiral Vorkuuthh and Senator Akrulan. Ritually, they were responsible for defeating any foes that might arise to prevent the wedding going ahead.

Beyond them, attending in holo-form, was the God Empress Jaahkathna herself. Alf glanced around and saw Vishkalaar looking gob-smacked. She must introduce him to Akrulan at the reception; maybe he could get a better job than guarding malcontents. He deserved one!

She noticed that the gentle susurration of Vlaash’s voice had ceased, and realised that he was waiting for her response. This was part of the Earth ceremony she had asked to be included. She swallowed, shut her eyes for a moment, and then replied; ‘I do.’

Vlaash turned to her bridegroom. ‘And do you, Nick, take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in the good times and the bad, in sickness and in health, until death you do part?’

Nick did not falter. ‘I do,’ he announced firmly.

Vlaash raised his hands. ‘I know pronounce you man and wife. Citizens of the Federation and of Mars, I give you Alf and Nick McShane.’ Vlaash’s right hand struck his chest in the traditional Martian salute.

It seemed like the cheering would never stop.




Eventually it did. The formalities over, Nick and Alf were circulating amongst the various guests, catching up on old times and accepting the very best wishes.

It looked like it was developing into a party that no one would ever forget.

Over to one side of the room was the lava lamp. Nick had insisted that it be at the wedding because it, or rather the liquid time it contained, was instrumental in him finally making up his mind in accepting Alf’s proposal. Aside from which, it put on such a good light show that it would come in handy when it was time for dancing.

The Doctor had told them that it was perfectly safe.

Perfectly safe? Well, nothing’s perfect.

The lamp suddenly began to vibrate, and to rock slightly on the table. At first nobody noticed, the party being far too full of interesting people to pay attention to an inanimate object, no matter how prettily it glowed.

Then the rocking got more violent, and the base of the lamp began to strike the table audibly. The coruscating lights kicked into overdrive, the lamp pouring out so much glare that the guests could not ignore it.

Nick hurried over, and grabbed the lamp to steady it. As he held it still, the eyes were looking out at him from within the liquid time. Then a second pair of eyes came into view, widening with eagerness when they saw who was holding the lamp.

The lamp began to buck and kick in Nick’s grasp. Inside the lamp, the first pair of eyes receded into the depths that any rational assessment would declare to be not there.

Alf called over to Nick, ‘Careful! Let the Doctor handle that, he understands what it’s about better than you.’ She was trying to push her way over to her husband, but the traditional Earth wedding gown she had insisted on wearing made it hard to push through a crowd.

As Nick held the lava lamp firmly on top of the table, the top suddenly flew from it with a resounding “pop”. In a grotesque parody of champagne at an Earth wedding, the liquid time began to fountain out of the lava lamp in quantities far in excess of the capacity of the lamp bottle to hold.

That was when it happened, the real moment that no one would ever forget.

Forcing his way through the bottle was a man. Even the mysterious capacity of the lamp bottle was unable to cope with this – the bottle shattered and the man arose from its remains. He tossed the nuclear red tips of his black hair back from his face, opened his mouth and smiled, the light glittering on his unnaturally long canine teeth. Nick gasped in horror and recognition both.

‘There you are at last,’ Bradley said to Nick. ‘I do hate it when a meal is interrupted.’

The Kuang-Shi reached out and grabbed Nick’s hair, which was tied back in a neat ponytail for the ceremony. He thrust Nick into the liquid time, and followed on immediately. Impossibly, the two moved into the depths, Bradley dragging Nick. Suddenly, the silvery fluid began to flow backwards, like a film running backwards, and settled itself into the shattered shell of the lava lamp.

The wedding party stood in shocked silence. Something beyond their understanding had just happened, and it seemed no one knew what to say.

No one, that is, except Alf. She had seemed to be holding her breath, and now it all rushed out in a single word.

‘Nick!’