Diarrhea: Tee-hee!

Diarrhea and Megatron gaze passionately into each others optics.

Megatron: I love you.

Diarrhea: I love you.

They suck face.

Everyone: Aww…

Diarrhea: GASP!

Megatron: *Giggle* It‘s all right, pumpkin.

Diarrhea: Meggy, can I talk to you for a sec?

Megatron: All right, my love. What’s on that pretty mind of yours?

Diarrhea: GIGGLE Well, you know how there are only 5 of us femmes, and there’s all these other guys who don’t have girlfriends.

Megatron: So?

Diarrhea: Remember that story about that big computer on Cybertron? Kappa Sigma? Victor something?

Megatron: HAHA! Vector Sigma, my sweet! He gave us all life. What about it?

Diarrhea: Let’s visit that Victor Sigma and make femmes for all the guys!

Megatron: Hmmm…I like the way you think, my cutie-patootie.

Diarrhea: *tee-hee! Oh, Meggy!

Later…

Vomita: Hey Sis, what’s up?

Diarrhea: I’m trying to figure out a way to get to Cybertron.

Urinia: Why?

Diarrhea: To make more Decepticons.

Bloodclot: So we can finally beat the Autobots?

Diarrhea: No, no no! So EVERYONE can have someone!

Urinia: You’re so smart, sis!

Diarrhea: Tee-hee!

Ellie May runs into the room.

Ellie May: Diarrhea! I think I can help!

Urinia: How?

Ellie May: I invented…a DUPLICATOR!

*DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUUUM!*

Bloodclot: Say WHAT?

Ellie May: A duplicator! One of us can climb in there and make…a bunch of us!

Diarrhea: I don’t know…more of me?

Audience: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Diarrhea: Shut up.

The chicks head over to Ellie May’s quarters.

Ellie May: Here it is!

Ellie May lifts the cover to display…a cardboard box with the word “DUPLACATR” in pink crayon.

Vomita: Oh, El…

Urinia: Does it really work?

Ellie May: Of course it does! Watch! (climbs into the box and turns the cardboard arrow to “DUPLICATE”)

BZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

Ellie May crawls out of the box.

Diarrhea: So…where are they?

El: They who…oh, yeah! (lifts up the box to see…nothing)

Bloodclot: Jeez…

Diarrhea: El, sweetie, don’t you think that maybe this won’t work?

El: Oh, I forgot something! Heeere we go! Try it again!

ZAP!

Ellie May crawls out as a huge lizard.

Urinia: Oh boy…

Grimlock: Me Grimlock say WOO-WOO!

Sludge: Me Sludge getting funny feeling down there…

Grimlock: Ellie lizard ever try sex with Dinobot? Triple the fun!

Slag: Wanna find out why they cal me Slag Slag?

Swoop: Huh? What you mean Slag Slag? Why you call yourself Slag Slag?

Vomita: No, no, no. What he meant was why do they call Slag, Slag?

Snarl: We know that! But why Slag call himself Slag Slag? Me Snarl wanna know!

Sludge: Does that mean me Sludge is me Sludge Sludge?

Bloodclot: Kill me now…Oh, Primus, kill me now.

Bloodclot2: Gladly!

Bloodclot1: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

Diarrhea: That’s it! Let’s get back to the topic at hand. We need to find a way to get to Cybertron.

Vomita: How?

Diarrhea: (snaps her fingers) I got it! Let’s go, girls…where’s Ellie May?

Urinia: I thought I saw the Dinobots carrying her out the back door.

Vomita shrugging: Oh well. She’ll be back to normal in the next scene, with these low-budget crap fics.

HEY!

*BOOM*

Vomita dies.

Diarrhea: *SIGH*

Later, at a used car dealership…

Ellie May: What are we doing here?

Diarrhea: We need to pick out some cars to make into robots.

Urinia: Why do we have to look at cars? I thought all girlfriends of Decepticons were Seeker jets like us.

Diarrhea: Hmm…you have a point, but let’s take a peek at some of the wheels just in case.

Bloodclot: How about these? (points to a rusted ‘73 Pinto and a VW hippie van.)

Diarrhea: They could work…but don’t they seem a little…ugly!

Bloodclot: That’s just it! See, we’ll have femmes around, but we’ll make them ugly so the fellas will only pay attention to us!

Diarrhea: That’s awful! Bloodclot, I’m ashamed of you!

Bloodclot looking sheepish: Sorry…

Diarrhea: You know, they don’t seen that terrible. All they need is love…

John Lennon: Na-na-na-na-na…

The Chicks Singing: All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.

Diarrhea: Anyway, let’s take these back to HQ and then get some jets!

All: YAY!

John Lennon: Can I come too?

Diarrhea: I suppose…

The Seeker chicks and Lennon arrive at an airfield.

Urinia: All right! Seekers!

All: YAY!

Diarrhea: Terrific. Now how we gonna get them back to base?

The others with utterly blank looks on their faces: Uhhh…

Diarrhea: GIGGLE Oh, I know!

*FOOM*

Lennon: I say, what was that?

Diarrhea: My teleportation powers. I can do anything.

Lennon: Anything?

Diarrhea: Anything, watch.

*POOF*

Diarrhea turns a slab of concrete into a grilled cheese sandwich.

Lennon: Wow…I think I’m falling in love with you…

Yoko: SLUT!

Diarrhea wiggles her nose.

SHAZAM!

Yoko Ono explodes.

All: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

(the author dances around)

Hey, I need you to do that to Barbra Streisand later!

Diarrhea: Glad to…

Back at HQ…

Megatron: My love, I’m so pleased!

Diarrhea: *tee-hee!* I know…

Diarrhea goes to work chopping up the vehicles and jets to make transforming robots.

All: Wow…

Later…

The femmes are spray-painting the vehicles.

Megatron: Very nice…but do they ALL have to have pink in them?

Chicks: YES!

Rumble spray-paints “RUMBLE WUZ HERE” on some of the vehicles. Frenzy grabs a can of pink paint and douses Rumble.

Rumble: HEY!

Skywarp waltzes in.

Skywarp: Why hellllloooooooooooooo short, pink and gorgeous!

Rumble: It’s ME, RUMBLE you jack ass!

Skywarp: Aw, doen’t matter. I ain’t picky.

Frenzy” No shit. We saw what you did to Ravage the other day.

Ravage: *whimper*

Soundwave: HUH?! (blasts Skywarp)

Skywarp: Me not so horny anymore.

Much later…

Diarrhea in Megatron’s arms: Oh, Meggy…all my troubles just melt when I’m in your arms.

Megatron blushing: Aww…(they suck face)

Diarrhea: Meggy, despite all my powers and that I’m so smart, I need the help of my man to work this out.

Megatron: What the hell. What seems to be the trouble, cupcake?

Diarrhea: We need to get these to Cybertron. I’ve never been there. How do we get there?

Megatron: Ahh…the SPACEBRIDGE!

Diarrhea: YAAY! I knew you could help me, Meggy. You’re so smart! *tee-hee*

Megatron blushing: Aww…

They suck face.

The Next Day…

Megatron: Attention, my fellow Decepticons. My beloved has done something to benefit us all.

Soundwave: Really? Outside of her mere presence?

All: Ahhh… *sighs happily*

Diarrhea: Tee-hee!

Megatron: My buttercup has crated an army for us to outnumber and defeat the Autobots and to conquer the universe! YAAAY!

All: Wow…

Megatron: Best part is: The rest of you undesirable lunkheads will…get this…have a GIRLFRIEND!

All: HUH?!

Dirge: After all this time…

Reflector: Holy shit…

Skywarp: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Thundercracker: Yeh. No more Juwlee for you, Warp.

Skywarp: Oh, her? She deflated long time ago.

Frenzy: But with some duct tape, she’s good as new. (Holds Juwlee up covered in duct tape patches)

Skywarp: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Megatron: We get some new chicks…at sunrise.

In the next exciting episode…

Will ALL the Decepticons have girlfriends? Even the stupid, repugnant ones?

Thrust: Who the hell asked you?

OK, that’s one less character I have to write in.

Thrust: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Ugh…