The World’s Crappiest Songfic
by TC
***”Sometimes When We Touch” is copyrighted to Dan Hill or whoever owns his weenie ass. This is not being profited off of and TC is rather amazed you would come to some crappy Transformers webpage to find out. Same thing goes for the Village People‘s “Macho Man“***
One fine evening, we find Ramjet skipping along the corridors…What’s with you?
Ramjet: Lalalalaaaaaaaaaa….I got my love. She’s so beautiful. SIGH Ellie May…Sweet Ellie May…
Sometimes when we touch,
the honesty’s too much.
And I have to close my eyes and hide…
Ramjet: I love her sooooooooo much!
Ergh. How much do you love her?
Ramjet: Listen to the damn song…
I wanna hold you til I die,
Til we both break down and cry.
I wanna hold you,
Til the fear in me subsides.
*throws up* Have a blast….
Ramjet: Isn’t it great to be in love?
Oh yeah….a fuckin blast.
Ramjet: You’re just jealous cuz I’m getting some.
Got me there.
Ellie May: RAMMIE! What did I tell you about your language?
Ramjet: I’m sorry, my love. I guess I keep forgetting my manners because I have a woman.
Ellie May: HMPH!
Ramjet: NOW what?
Ellie May: Is that all I am to you? Eye candy?
Ramjet: Uh….yeah.
Ellie May: GASP! I’ll have you know, Rammie, that I am strong, I am independent, I am a WARRIOR, the best of my kind, not to mention the best damn maker of quiche there is!
Ramjet: You’re right…I’m just insecure. My exterior is that of a MACHO WARRIOR…
Macho macho man…
I gotta be...a macho man!
Ramjet: GODDAMMIT! NOT THAT! *smashes record player* what I mean is…underneath this gruff exterior…is the heart of a poet. *sings*
Romance and all its strategy leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer, still trapped within my truths
A hesitant prize fighter still trapped within my youth
Ellie May: RAMMIE! *tears run down her face* *rushes to embrace him*
you ask me if i love you and i choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie
And who am i to judge you on what you say or do
I'm only just beginning to see the real you
Ellie May: RAMMIE! I love you so much!
Ramjet: I love you too, sweetheart. *tears running down his face*
They suck face.
At times i'd like to break you and drag you to your knees
Ramjet: Yeh! Gimme head, bitch!
*WHAP*
Ramjet: OW!
At times i'd like to break through and hold you endlessly
At times i understand you and i know how hard you've tried
I've watch while love commands you
And i've watched love pass you by
At times i think we're drifters, still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister, but then the passion flares again
Ramjet: Ellie May…
Ellie May: Rammie…
Peter Gabriel runs in…
**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**
Thank you!
END