Trichess 10---THE END!!!
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STARSCREAM: Artemis, wait.
ARTEMIS pauses, as Starscream materializes from the floor, looking somewhat normal save for the wires and cables attaching him to the ship.
STARSCREAM: Take the Matrix.
ARTEMIS: What?
STARSCREAM: I cannot handle the burden it's forcing me to carry. The guilt and shame for everything I've done is hitting me full force. Please, take it. Your conscience is much cleaner than mine.
ARTEMIS: Say what...?
STARSCREAM: *takes her hands in his, looking pleadingly at her. Everyone gathers around, seemingly struck by the sudden welling of emotions from the normally arrogant backstabber.* Artemis, manipulating you and toying with your emotions was the last thing I ever wanted to do to you...I was afraid of my own feelings towards you, and redirected them into something I could understand, but unfortunately the effects were quite negative. I've learned my lesson...please...take the Matrix back...I can change, Artemis...I'll be a better person towards you...
ARTEMIS: *steps closer, her voice softening with her optics.* You really mean that, flyboy?
STARSCREAM: With all my spark...
ARTEMIS: *as the two draw closer, before she suddenly laughs in his face and shoves back.* Deal with it, flyboy! *Marches offscreen, her fist raised in the air.* Trogdor strikes again! *Air-guitars the theme to Trogdor.*
STARSCREAM: *making small noises, his optics wide.* What...?
TASUKI: I believe the word you're looking for is "poetic irony."
DAVIS: That's two words.
STARSCREAM: I just confessed my undying love to her...
WASHU: And she laughed in your face. Yep, we know. Okay, folks, let's clean this mess up!
STARSCREAM: She laughed in my face....
*He just stands there, shellshocked, as everyone else starts pushing debris around with brooms and mops.*
STARSCREAM: Why, Artemis...? Have I burned you one too many times that I have destroyed your ability to love...? By doing so, I only succeeded in hurting myself as well...?
DAVIS: So the Matrix turns you into a SNAD. I'll keep that in mind. *Picks up his soccer ball and starts bouncing it off Starscream's head.*
STARSCREAM: Fine...Revenge is a double-edged sword, Artemis. I can play your game just as well.
DAVIS: Hey, this is fun!
THE MINICONS, all with soccer balls as well, start doing the same thing.
14.
GECKO: FOURTEEN?! WHAT IN THE NAME OF COMBAT HERO OPTIMUS PRIME IS GOING ON HERE?! WE'VE BEEN SITTING HERE HECKLING THIS FIC FOR THIRTEEN CHAPTERS AND WE'RE STILL NOT FINISHED?! THAT'S IT! *Stands up forcibly.* Screw you guys. I'm going home. *Leaves in a huff.*
CYRWAY: Well, that lasted longer than I expected.
GOURRY: Maybe someone should go check on him.
CYRWAY: Good idea. *Stands up and leaves.*
BROOKLYN: I'll help too! *Stands up and follows.*
GIR: *watches them leave, then looks at GOURRY.* It's just us now! Wheee! *Starts swinging in Gourry's hair as ARTEMIS, human sized but in her Prime form, storms in and takes a seat next to GIR.*
GOURRY: What are you doing here?
ARTEMIS: I burninated Screamer.
GIR: Trogdor!
The moon hung high above the Mount St. Hilary, caressing the volcano with its soft, silver light. The sky was spread by stars - millions of sparkling diamonds at the royal blue firmament. A soft breeze caressed over the treetops. In the grass, crickets had met for a nocturnal string orchestra.
ARTEMIS: I thought this was a Transformers fic.
GOURRY: It is. It's a great romance story.
ARTEMIS: Ah, yes. Romance. *Leans against her hand and taps her cheek as Starscream, in WarWorld form, melts up from the floor and takes the seat next to Artemis.*
STARSCREAM: Take the Matrix back.
ARTEMIS: Your dishwater, you soak in it.
STARSCREAM: *grumbles* Insolent wench.
Somehow they had managed to steal secretly out of the Ark to have a bit of time for them alone. She had wrapped her arm around his waist and he had his around her shoulders, as Megatron and Magic strolled through the night.
STARSCREAM: *blinks audibly.* What is going on here?
ARTEMIS: We caught the tail end of a fangirl fic.
GOURRY: It's a great romance story! Honestly, what do you people have against romance?
STARSCREAM: Everything. Absolutely everything.
"Somewhere up there
GIR: Fievel!
is Cybertron ," the young woman remarked, pointing at the stars.
ARTEMIS: Somewhere up there is a bar I frequent too...how I miss that bar.
"If the planet still exists," Megatron answered in a sad tone.
STARSCREAM: Knowing Shockwave, he probably whored himself to the Autobot femmes.
"We had nearly run out of energy those days..."
STARSCREAM: And who's fault was that, Mighty Megatron? *Grumbles* It would have been different if I was in charge...
ARTEMIS: *dryly.* Of course it would. *Cracks open a beer.*
"It will still exist," Magic was confident. "Somewhere out there, between the
GIR: *off tune* "Pale moonlight! Someone's thinking of me! And loving me tonight!"
*an Anvil falls on him.*
GIR: *sighs contently.*
stars, it'll wait for you."
GOURRY: Awwwww...
STARSCREAM: You really are only functioning on one braincell, aren't you, fleshling?
An owl flew up in a branch close by, sweeping on silent wings up into the night. Magic watched after the bird, sighing. Megatron smiled.
STARSCREAM: *twitches*
ARTEMIS: *guzzles the beer, pulls out her gun, and starts taking it apart, cleaning it.*
I know what you are dreaming of, beloved.
ARTEMIS: You have no idea, human. *Puts her gun back together and cocks it, aiming the laser-guided sight onto Starscream.*
I've longed for that for an eternity...
STARSCREAM: Already I know where this is going. Oh well, I knew he was a poor choice of leader.
ARTEMIS: Yeah, and if he was right there next to you, you would say what a gifted and talented leader he was...
STARSCREAM: I would make a much better leader than him any day!
ARTEMIS: You'll just have to overcome that big ass yellow streak down your back...
STARSCREAM: Who are you calling a coward?!
GIR: *singsong voice.* I think the honeymoon is over! *giggles*
"Then let's do it ," he said softly, kissing her.
STARSCREAM: NO!!! I DON'T WANT TO WATCH THIS!
ARTEMIS: Shield my eyes, beloved! *Looks around.* Dammit, where's Ultra Magnus when I need him?
STARSCREAM: *dryly* Oh, that hurt, wench.
Carefully he took her on his arm.
GOURRY: Awwww...
STARSCREAM: Hopefully the one with the fusion cannon...and pity if it accidentally discharged. *Chuckles.*
"Ready?" he asked.
"Ready!" she answered, laughing.
Megatron pushed off the ground and took her up into the sparkling sky.
STARSCREAM: *puts his arm around Artemis's shoulders.* It's been a while since we did that, isn't it, Arty?
ARTEMIS: *coldly* Get your damn arm away from me before I rip it off and beat you over the head with it.
GOURRY: Isn't Art afraid of heights?
ARTEMIS: Why do you think he did it in the first place?
STARSCREAM: As long as Megatron drops the fleshling, it bothers me not.
A silent being watched them from the Ark's gate. The first time in his life, he had seen Megatron being happy. Content was something the Decepticon leader had been often. But now he was also allowed to be really happy.
STARSCREAM: *makes a small gagging noise.* Spare me this romantic nonsense.
ARTEMIS: You're telling me...
GOURRY: You two are just as bad as Amy and the others!
GIR: Waffles!
This Earthen female was a gift of the universe.
ARTEMIS: I hope you kept the receipt.
Only those who knew him well would be able to see the slight changes in the face which seemed to be without expression. And those would know: Soundwave smiled.
STARSCREAM: You would too if your kids come home from school with drawings of bloodied battlefields. *Sneers to Artemis* Unlike your kids.
GIR: The honeymoon is REALLY over!
GOURRY: *scratches his head* Um...how can robots have kids?
ARTEMIS and STARSCREAM: *in unison* You don't want to know.
They flew higher and higher to were the air was so unbelievable pure and fresh, to where the sky was so clear that they believed that they had just to reach out and could touch the stars.
ARTEMIS: I think I'm going to be sick...
GOURRY: Aw, come on! If you don't like it, leave!
STARSCREAM: Oh, she's not complaining about the romance. *Smirks and leans closer to Artemis.* 720 barrel rolls...climbing to sub-orbit altitudes and diving into a 9G flameout...only to pull up at the last possible click, climbing vertical, reaching the speed of sound....
ARTEMIS: *retches*
Magic breathed deeply the thin, cold air
ARTEMIS: Thin air...losing...consciousness...
that was free of the smells of human life,
STARSCREAM: And you wonder why I enjoy it...
enjoying the untamed wind blowing through her locks. Megatron kept her safely in his arms.
ARTEMIS: Jealous, Screamer?
STARSCREAM: Be silent, wench!
She could feel the soft vibrations of his electro-mechanical heart, and the energon flowing under his metal skin. Here above, beyond the borders created by human regulations, she nearly could feel true freedom.
GIR: "Butterfly in the sky! I can go twice as high!" *another anvil falls on his head.*
GOURRY: One would think he did that on purpose...
ARTEMIS: *retches again.*
STARSCREAM: A little airsick, Arty? Perhaps afterwards I can show you an inverted lateral dive...
ARTEMIS: *retches yet again.*
She had the presentiment of the possibility to finally find what she was.
STARSCREAM: A useless fleshbag. Drop her, Mighty Megatron!
ARTEMIS: Someone's really jealous...
STARSCREAM: Complete inversion on the pitch axis!
ARTEMIS: *gags and retches*
GOURRY: You know, that's not really a nice way to treat your girlfriend...
STARSCREAM: She's not my girlfriend!
There was just a small step to take...
GIR: Tippy toe! Tippy twirl!
Let me go, beloved. I want to fly myself!
STARSCREAM: Ah, a suicidal fleshling. My favourite kind.
He hesitated.
STARSCREAM: About what?!
His mind told him, he must not risk letting her go even for a single moment. She would fall and be smashed on the ground!
STARSCREAM: That's the point!
But he also sensed this incomprehensible power in her that was forcing its way out like the germ
GIR: SPACE MEAT!!!
which breaks out off a grain of seed. A power that grew and increased. So he carefully loosened his protecting embrace, and...
STARSCREAM: She dropped like a stone, the end. *To Artemis* Let's go. I'm bored.
Magic flew!
GOURRY: *stands up and cheers.*
GIR: Superman and Lois! *Runs around with his arms out *
She glided along on the wings of her spirit.
ARTEMIS: Oh no. Metaphysical mumbo jumbo.
GOURRY: *sniffs* That's so beautiful!
Hand in hand, they drifted along above fragrant night forests and brooks that sparkled in the moonlight.
STARSCREAM: *strained* Mental image...affecting Matrix...must resist...urge...*twitches, then pounces on Artemis, kissing her passionately.*
GIR: Ewww! He's got his tongue in her mouth! *Blinks, stares and screams.* Amongst other things! EWWWWWWW!!!
GOURRY: *stares at the two kissing, then looks back at the scene, munching popcorn.* And you were complaining about the romance...
But Magic wanted more.
GECKO: *offscreen* Of course she did--DUDES!!! POSSIBLE HENTACLE SCENE!!!
ARTEMIS: *muffled* Get off of me, you idiot!
*GECKO, leading his subgroup, HentaiXPress, complete with Murry the Evil Skull, pop up and stare down at Arty and Starscream.*
She did not only want to travel through the sky by the power of her mind, she wanted to feel the elements with every muscle of her body.
JAXYL: Dude, judging by my calculations, the romance from this fanfiction would constitute only warm and fuzzy feeling lime, not quite reaching lemon stages of smut.
GECKO: How the hell can you have WAFF Hentacle limes?! Oh, fudge it. Let's go, boys.
*The HentaiXPress disappear.*
GOURRY: *to GIR.* What was that about?
GIR: *shrugs cutely.* I don't know....
She wanted to fly like a bird,
GIR: *loudly, off key* I wanna fly like an eagle, through the trees! *Another anvil land on him.*
DUO: *from the rafters.* We're running out of anvils up here!
embrace the wind with every beat of the wings, gliding on soft breezes, feeling the air caressing over her wings. Wide, as wide as she could, she stretched out her arms, and spread her fingers like wing-feathers. She wanted to be a bird...
ARTEMIS: *still muffled* That's it! *Loads her pistol and presses it against Starscream's midsection.* Off! Now!
GIR: This may get a bit messy! *giggles*
Megatron saw how her form started to shine in a soft, nearly imperceptible way and she altered. Her arms stretched, became wings, her body changed its form - she grew. Silver-white feathers broke through the pale skin, also replacing her dark locks. He could see it, he could feel it, but he nearly could believe it. It was like a dream!
*There is a loud explosion as Artemis's pistol discharges, the exit wound coming out from Starscream's back visible against the screen.*
STARSCREAM: Was that supposed to hurt...?
ARTEMIS: Good Primus, what are you?!
*They continue their makeout session.*
GOURRY: Will you two get a room? You're ruining the fanfiction!
When the shining stopped again, the mighty eagle beat her glittering wings, ascending to where the stars were calling her. Megatron watched her as she let the winds take her up. The sight of her was so overwhelming that, though he had never been a child, he felt like a small boy who had seen an angel.
GIR: Shinji is a boy who sees angels!
No, she was not an angel - Magic was a goddess!
GOURRY: *awed* Ooooooohhhhh...
CYRWAY: *returns to her seat.* And to think my Mary Sues have low self- esteem. *Looks at Artemis and Starscream.* Good god, you two, get a room!
GOURRY: That's what I told them!
She majestically circled along the firmament, covered the stars' shine by her< mighty wings, compensating it by the glistening glitter of her wonderful feathers. She conquered the sky without taking its freedom, simply by becoming a part of it, merging with it.
CYRWAY: As long as she doesn't merge with WarWorld, I care not.
Suddenly the huge bird cried out of joie de vivre -
CYRWAY: Joy of life, in other words.
GOURRY: You understand that?
CYRWAY: French is supposedly my second language.
GIR: I thought that was Klingon.
CYRWAY: peta'Q!
a queenly sound that let the stars tremble. Megatron bent back his head laughed, relieved from the pressure of responsibility,
CYRWAY: Like Hot Rod in "Dark Awakening!"
overwhelmed of the beauty of what he was seeing.
CYRWAY: Eagles are scavengers.
GOURRY: I think it's supposed to be symbolic.
GECKO: Says a lot for Americans, eh? Wait, we've already had this conversation before...
CYRWAY: Now turkeys...those are noble birds...
Magic, my Magic! I love you!
STARSCREAM: *muffled* Arty...how I despise you with all my spark....
ARTEMIS: *muffled* You call that a kiss, coward? *They kiss more feverishly.*
CYRWAY: Okay, that's it...Starscream, give her back the Matrix before I OD on the romance here.
She dragged her wings closer to her body, rolled skilfully to the side, and glided elegantly until she flew under her mate.
GOURRY: *still awed.* Wow...that's beautiful...
Slightly beating her wings, she gained altitude again until the feathers on her back touched him. Megatron understood. He sat down on the eagle's back, and the bird took him through the night.
CYRWAY: Hey, now I understand Ivy's birthday present...!
BROOKLYN: *off screen.* Hey, I forgot completely about that...
It was such an indescribable experience to fly this way - so peaceful. The only thing to hear was the wind rustling through her feathers - no thundering jet engines, no hammering rotors,
CYRWAY: But that's what we like!
GOURRY: Speak for yourself!
GIR: Let's jetset!
only the beneficial silence of the sky above a planet whose amazing beauty arose from the order of chaos.
GOURRY: Order of chaos...?
CYRWAY: And then Jhiaxus comes in and makes earth another Cybertron. The end.
They swept closely over a crystal clear glacier lake. Megatron looked down and saw the sky mirrored in the water's surface. Above and under did not exist anymore, all was one. Eternity surrounded them.
GIR: Look! It's an Alaskan tourism ad!
Magic regained altitude, let the wind carry her to the tops of the Rocky Mountains where the snow never melted and eternal ice shone in the moon's light.
CYRWAY: Time to break out my snowmobile.
BROOKLYN: *off-screen* Face if, the Yellowstone wardens won't let you in on your ZR.
CYRWAY: Goddamn four-stroke treehugging hippies.... *pouts*
The majestic bird of prey dived merrily into a cloud, sailed around mysterious formations of rock which reigned on the mountains like giant, stoned mythical creatures,
TOWELIE: Where the unicorn and the manticore got their jays, I don't remember...
CYRWAY: Brooklyn, your Towelie impression is totally weak.
and swept over crystal-like shining snow fields that vied with her feathers in out-sparkling each other.
CYRWAY: Just wait until I pull out my ZR-600... *Imitates a snowmobile engine.*
Magic carried her mate through the mysterious world of an Earthen moon night,
GIR: The Vok are watching you! *giggles*
and nature put a spell on the lovers.
ARTEMIS: *finally pulls away from Starscream.* For Primus's sake, Starscream, what the hell got into you?
CYRWAY: My guess is the Matrix.
GOURRY: He used the Matrix on himself? *Gasps.*
CYRWAY: Yes, that would explain the tentacles and the sudden desire to romance Arty.
STARSCREAM: Totally against my will, I assure you. *Resumes kissing Artemis, wrapping arms and tentacles around her in a lover's embrace. Cyrway and Gourry stare at the scene for a moment.*
CYRWAY: WAFFy Hentacle lime doesn't exactly work....
Megatron tenderly watched the woman who stood at the rock's edge, looking at the sleeping world below her. His goddess - snow covered her naked feet but the cold did not affect her.
GOURRY: *shivers*
CYRWAY: Oh, there's nothing like walking barefoot in the snow!
Ice-cold wind blew in a friendly manner over her undressed body,
GIR: I'm nekkid!
CYRWAY: Yes, yes you are, dear.
not even trying to freeze her. Everything around her was a part of her and she was a part of everything.
CYRWAY: Much like Screamer right now.
STARSCREAM: *muffled* Shut up, wench...can't you see I'm busy?
Megatron came closer and wrapped his arms around his mate. Since she had changed back, silver-white stands now ran through her dark hair,
CYRWAY: Magic bleached...someone has been reading Mercedes Lackey.
which he thought was beautiful. She was beautiful!
CYRWAY: *Andrew W.K.* "She is beautiful! She is beautiful! The girl is beautiful!"
STARSCREAM: She's still a disgusting flesh creature...
ARTEMIS: You're a disgusting creature period.
GOURRY: Then why are you kissing him?
CYRWAY: It's a long, complex story, Gourry-dear.
"A few moonbeams have caught in your locks ,"
GIR: *starts pulling on Gourry's hair.*
the Decepticons said quietly, kissing her cheek very softly. "I love you."
CYRWAY: I think that point has been made abundantly clear.
Magic smiled; her eyes mirrored the infinity of the universe.
GIR: Ooooooohhhh...I can see Irken in her eyes!
"I love you, too, Megatron ," she whispered softly.
CYRWAY: I can't believe it...I'm rooting for Nightbird.
Her warmth felt so good. She gave him security. She was the one who made him recognize that he was alive and not just lifeless metal. He wanted to feel her so very close, never letting her go. He wanted to love her with all the tenderness that a man could give to a woman...
ARTEMIS: Tenderness is using a smaller caliber weapon.
STARSCREAM: *snidely* I love it when you talk nasty, Arty.
"Don't your freshly repaired systems still need a bit of relaxation?" she asked with her cute, goblin-like smile.
CYRWAY: Time to break out the goblin grenade.
"You said it yourself," the silver-shining Transformer answered softly. "They are repaired..."
Their lips met in a way that was tender and demanding at the same time.
ARTEMIS and STARSCREAM fall on the floor, with loud makeout noises.*
CYRWAY: Yep. No wishy washy there.
And just like the first time they had been together, Magic started to cover his body with soft kisses.
GOURRY: *blinks* should we be seeing this?
GECKO: *drops in from the rafters.* Hey, smut scene! *Looks down.* Two smut scenes!
Megatron bit his lower lip and enjoyed the sensations that every touch of her caused in his systems.
GECKO: "Lower, Magic...aw, yes...."
"Ooh, Magic..." he whispered hoarsely. "I think I need now - oh, Cybertron! - anything but... relaxation..."
GOURRY: *covers GIR's eyes.*
GIR: Awwwwwww...I wanted to watch!
CYRWAY: And we cut to an ellipses.
The wind blew softly through the mountains. From time to time, it whirled up a few snowflakes which then danced in the moonlight, sparkling.
GECKO: What a way to shift gears!
"I'm changing somehow, Megatron ," Magic said quietly, nestling closer to his shining body.
GIR: But you're not wearing any clothes!
CYRWAY: Actually, I don't remember her changing back from the eagle mode.
"Something inside of me has freed itself, and it's becoming stronger. I can feel it..."
GECKO: You're preggo!
CYRWAY: Gods, I hope not.
Suddenly she sat, bolt upright, and looked at him out of this new perspective.
GECKO: *falsetto* Oh my god, I've made a terrible mistake!
"Megatron, I hear the thoughts of others and can answer in thoughts, I control the elements, I feel the mountains as if they are a part of me, I fly, I change my shape... No human being can do so!
GOURRY: You're not human?!
Megatron, what am I?"
GIR: FANGIRL!!! *Screams excitedly*
"I don't know," he answered, caressing her soft locks.
STARSCREAM: She's powerful. That's all he cares.
"The only thing I know is you are the woman I love."
STARSCREAM: He's only saying that because you possess power.
ARTEMIS: *taunting* Starscream is jealous....
STARSCREAM: I'll show you jealous...! *Resumes making out with her.*
CYRWAY: Gods, it's like that Saturday Night Live skit...
GIR: AWESOME!!!
Now he sat up himself and wrapped his arms around her.
GECKO: And she freezes to him.
"You're gaining a force I can't explain, beloved, because I don't understand it ," the Transformer started. "But it's really powerful and it's good this way...
STARSCREAM: He'll use you until you're spent, that's why it's good.
I don't know how the Decepticons will further react.
STARSCREAM: I'd exploit this to my advantage....
It's good when you will be able defend yourself when I'm not close to you.
ARTEMIS: If she can't defend herself, then what good is she?
I never want to lose you!"
GOURRY: *sniffs* That's so sweet....
He kissed her in an infinitely tender way, and she offered him the warmest smile.
STARSCREAM: Where's the fighting?!
Two completely different worlds had met in love and became one.
CYRWAY: I have figured out that this fic was entirely about love.
GECKO: I do hope we get to see Bishoph again.
And the snowflakes danced in the moonlight, sparkling.
GECKO, GOURRY, and GIR: "Frosty, the snowman, was a jolly, happy soul..."
Starscream nervously paced through the Ark's corridors.
STARSCREAM: Oh, look. Me! *Abandons Artemis and stares up at the screen.*
About ten kAsecs ago he had learned from Soundwave that Megatron and Magic had left the ship.
GECKO: Thus missing his opportunity to shoot them in the back.
And they had still not been back. He did not like that...
ARTEMIS: It was his turn to be Megatron's bitch.
STARSCREAM: Be silent, wench!
He did not like that at all! What had this damn bastard...?
CYRWAY: Megatron actually cheated on Starscream!
STARSCREAM: What is it about me that makes people think I'm gay?
ARTEMIS: Where to start...?
"Hey, the boss 's back!" he heard Rumble announcing loudly somewhere.
Starscream started to run to meet him at once, followed by Red Alert's suspicious eyes.
GECKO: *as Red Alert* Hey, why are you leaving me? You're the only one who understands me!
"What's the matter with Screamer?" Skywarp asked, puzzled, as the other Decepticon rushed by.
GIR: Emotional support. *giggles*
Thundercracker shrugged.
"Dunno ," he answered.
CYRWAY: Ah, yes, the infamous one word answers from the undercharacterized characters.
Starscream neither looked left nor right
GECKO: And he's run down by the Stunticons.
as he ran down the hangar corridor, his sight fixed on the silver-shining form at the entrance.
STARSCREAM: Target locked on sight!
There he was; there was Megatron! But where was Magic? Abruptly he stopped, looking around.
GECKO: Paranoid that Arty would pop up and snipe him.
STARSCREAM: I do not do that! *Artemis cocks her pistol and Starscream suddenly looks around feverishly.*
"Where is she?" He spat the question in a very poisonous manner at his leader. "Where is Magic?"
STARSCREAM: Why would I care?
CYRWAY: Trust me, you'd understand had you sat through the entire fic.
ARTEMIS: Starscream lacks the attention span to accomplish that.
STARSCREAM: Insolent wench!
ARTEMIS: Backstabbing bastard! *Both return into a passionate makeout session.*
GIR: Hentacle!
GECKO: *disappointed.* No, GIR, it isn't.
At first, Megatron was really surprised by this welcome. Soundwave who had awaited him together with his cassettes, and the Autobot squad consisting of Brawn, Inferno and Trailbreaker, did not know what to think of Starscream's strange behavior.
GOURRY: Starscream finally got a true friend!
GECKO: Yeah, a mirror.
"That is not your business, Starscream!" Megatron answered harshly.
GECKO: *Megatron voice* Starscream, what are you doing with that Autobot?
STARSCREAM: *bolts up to attention, looking around paranoid, before glaring down at GECKO.*
Starscream's optics glowed dangerously.
"Of course it is my business!" he countered in an unexpected, self-confident way.
CYRWAY: Everything's his business!
*Starscream grumbles and, with a growl, resumes making out with Artemis.*
"If you did something to her, your repairs will have been completely in vain!"
STARSCREAM: I don't care about the fleshling!
ARTEMIS: Your tentacles are digging into my side, flyboy.
Megatron slowly started to remember...
STARSCREAM: That I am superiour!
GOURRY: Honestly!
Ravage placed himself between Starscream and the Decepticon leader, ready to defend his leader with his life.
CYRWAY: Besides, Rumble and Frenzy were playing too rough with him.
But the latter gestured for the cat of prey and the other Decepticons to leave him alone with his second in command. They unwillingly strolled away.
GECKO: Goodie, we get to see Megatron kick Starscream's ass yet again!
ARTEMIS: Like that's anything new.
STARSCREAM: I said be silent!
The three Autobots also decided to withdraw.
CYRWAY: Something about Starscream getting his ass kicked really appeals to the masses.
STARSCREAM: INFIDELS!!!
If the Decepticons wanted to fight each other... well... that was their problem.
GECKO: Besides, it's fun to watch.
GIR: I'll bring the popcorn!
"I brought her back home so she could finally get some rest," Megatron answered calmly when they were alone.
STARSCREAM: What? You didn't kill her? Megatron, you are weak!
"For your sake, I hope, you're telling the truth," Starscream snarled, one hand clenched angrily, with the other pointing at his opponent.
STARSCREAM: I ask again, why would I care?
GOURRY: Because Magic is the only friend you have.
STARSCREAM: That's not true!
ARTEMIS: Yeah, Starscream has no friends.
"I'm warning you! If I ever learn that you are just using her or hurt her in any way, I'm going to kill you!"
BROOKLYN: Pop quiz! What does Starscream in this fic and Heero Yuy have in common?
Having said this, he turned to go, when he felt Megatron's hand on his shoulder.
GECKO: He's gonna pop ya one!
Starscream felt a cold shudder flash through his circuits. He set his jaw plates. What did Megatron want to do now?
GECKO: BEND OVER, BITCH! *Gets skewered by one of Starscream's tentacles.*
GOURRY: I thought the Matrix wouldn't allow Starscream to kill?
CYRWAY: Gecko dies on a regular basis. It affects him none.
GECKO: *pained* Sez you....
And if the Decepticon leader disassembled him for his statement, this time Starscream would not eat humble pie!
BROOKLYN: "Once I was the king of Spain!"
CYRWAY, GOURRY and GIR: "Now I eat humble pie!"
He meant every word exactly as he had said it.
"Starscream," Megatron started. His voice did not sound the least bit aggressive; on the contrary it was nearly fatherly.
BROOKLYN: Magic's on Decepticon Dominion, isn't she?
Starscream looked back, surprised. The Decepticon leader was completely calm.
GOURRY: This father/son moment brought to you by Hallmark...
"If I should ever hurt Magic ," Megatron said, "then kill me!" With this he took his hand off Starscream's shoulder again. "And... this is an order!"
STARSCREAM: Oh, that could be so open to interpretation...*cackles maniacally.*
The other Decepticon stood there, not exactly knowing what to say or to do.
STARSCREAM: FOOL!
He was completely confused.
ARTEMIS: Nothing new there.
STARSCREAM: Silence, wench!
Megatron continued: "I'm glad that you are on her side, despite our differences."
ARTEMIS: *dryly* Ladies and Gentlemen, hell has frozen over.
"She... she's something special ," Starscream mentioned quietly, nearly embarrassed.
STARSCREAM: Gah... *Buries his head into Artemis's shoulder.* I can't watch this.
The other nodded.
"That's why I didn't tell about my bond with Magic," he explained. "And if she hadn't discovered her paranormal abilities I'd have never told anyone.
CYRWAY: Keeping them all to himself, I see.
GIR's head suddenly implodes with a "poof!"
I don't want anything happened to her."
Megatron lowered his head, folding his arms in front of his chest. No, he would not been able to endure losing her again. His aid-de-champ
BROOKLYN: *coughing fit* Camp! Camp!
looked at him skeptically. Did Megatron really worry about Magic's security, or did he just play his role as concerned lover well?
CYRWAY: If anyone needs me, I'll be daydreaming of Kingdom Hearts Sephiroth. *Hums One Winged Angel.*
"Does that mean that, against all expectations, you were serious when you called Magic your mate?"
GOURRY: *nods vigourously as Cyrway gets louder in her orchestration*
"Against all expectations serious?! Deadly serious, Starscream!" Megatron's temper flared, his optics glowing. "I know that everyone - Autobot as well as Decepticon - thinks I'm not able to love.
GECKO, BROOKLYN, ARTEMIS, and STARSCREAM: YOU AREN'T!
GOURRY: You're not being nice again!
CYRWAY: *starts singing.* Sor imitius et emanius...
But keep this well in mind: I love this female!
STARSCREAM: You love the power and you know it!
And woe to anybody who tries to hurt her in any way. I'm going to disassemble him personally - memory chip by memory chip, capacitor by capacitor!"
GECKO: Dilithium crystal from dilithium crystal....
Starscream swallowed.
ARTEMIS: The difference between like and love.
BROOKLYN: I guess there's a new queen in the Decepticon ranks, eh, Starscream?
STARSCREAM: *growls, crossing his arms over his chest.*
CYRWAY: "Veni veni venias, ne me mori facias..."
He actually had not expected such an extreme reaction to his request. Great Cybertron - Megatron really cared for her!
STARSCREAM: He just wants her power! *Grumbles to himself* Why show such a weakness towards a normally weak flesh female...?
ARTEMIS: I don't know...you hang out with these idiots.
STARSCREAM: You see my point! *Pounces her for another makeout session.*
GECKO: This time, put some lemon into it!
CYRWAY: "Haryruu no hanekata--Sephiroth!"
Who had thought this of the old Slagmaker?
BROOKLYN: No one with common sense...
GOURRY: *sighs and sinks into his seat.* You're not going to let me enjoy this fic, are you?
So with an intended bow, Starscream said:
STARSCREAM: Buh-bye! *Laughs maniacally.* Shoot the weak fool!
"My lord, in this case you can count on my support completely."
STARSCREAM: Until you turn your back....*cackles*
ARTEMIS: Face it, Starscream, you're a whiny little bitch no matter the fanfic.
STARSCREAM: Insolent wench--
ARTEMIS: Oh, come on! Can't you think of something else to call me other than "Insolent wench?"
STARSCREAM: Do not mock me! *Resumes making out.*
The Decepticon leader looked at his second in command, surprised. The other returned his gaze evenly. A relieved smile appeared on Megatron's lips as he said:
GECKO: "Good bye!" *imitates a plasma cannon discharging.*
"Thank you, Starscream."
CYRWAY: Evil one-winged bishonnen! WAII!!! *Bounces up and down.*
For the first time within a long, long era, Starscream felt something like respect for his leader again...
STARSCREAM: That's what you think!
Epilogue
EVERYONE save GOURRY cheers heartfully.
In the east, deep turquoise had about replaced the royal blue of the night when he landed on the terrace's grass.
BROOKLYN: *takes a sharp inhale of his joint and coughs violently.*
Attentively, he looked around.
GECKO: Wouldn't want to be caught dead in a fangirl fanfic...you know...oh! Too late!
The terrace's door was closed but the dormer-window was a bit open. With a bit steering aid of his anti-grav engines he jumped up, transformed, and let himself slip through the small gap. Inside, he changed back and landed on the wooden floor without a noise.
CYRWAY: Until he knocks over the lamp....
Again he looked around. She lay on her mattress, the cushion over her head, the right arm hanging out of the bed.
BROOKLYN: My god, Gears has smothered her!
He silently started to move again, coming closer. It really looked funny, her with the cushion over the head.
GECKO: I have forgotten how to laugh.
He made himself comfortable on the fleecy woollen rug beside the mattress and pushed his nose under her hand.
GECKO: Yep. Dead.
CYRWAY: So what happens when a robot cat's nose is warm and wet?
"Hm?" the cushion mentioned.
BROOKLYN: SHE LIVES!!!
Then Magic's sleepy face appeared under it.
EVERYONE screams.
"Ah, it's you Ravage," she remarked, yawning. "What have I done to deserve this honor?"
STARSCREAM: He's come to kill you. *Cackles maniacally.*
He would take care of her security.
ARTEMIS: Yeah. Sure.
"That's nice of you ," she said, rubbing the jaguar softly behind his ears.
That went without saying; after all, she was the lady. And besides, she was very kind.
STARSCREAM: And more than likely, it'll get her killed.
Magic smiled while the tiredness was forcing her to close the eyes again. She yawned another time and fell asleep again. Ravage placed his head between his paws. He felt the warm hand that had rubbed him softly lying loosely on his neck. A moment longer, he let the relaxing pulse which carried over from her skin to his metal have an effect on him. Then he closed his optics and turned to regeneration.
The End
GECKO: *Giggles insanely and bolts from the theater.* FREEDOM!!!
*Countdown*
The camera is set on a table in a sterile interrogation room, with the date and time flashing in the lower corner of the screen. Malibu sits across the table, folding his hands on the table. What is different about the normally-Weird Al-attired gargoyle clone is that he's wearing a grey suit, sunglasses, and an ear piece, a la Agent Smith from the Matrix.
MALIBU: *sighs, shaking his head.* I don't think you understand the direness of your situation, Mr. Anderson.
EVIL BUMBLEBEE: *offcamera* My name's not Mr. Anderson!
MALIBU: Ah, yes...the One, is it? Neo? Well, Mr. Anderson, I'm afraid time has run out for you.
>EVIL BUMBLEBEE: *offcamera* I keep telling you, I'm not Mr. Anderson, or Neo, or whatever you--
MALIBU: *shakes his head slowly.* I'm afraid, Mr. Anderson, we have little choice in the matter. Because of your lack of cooperation, I am forced to use other avenues of persuasion. *Stands up, straighting his tie.* He's all yours, boys.
EVIL BUMBLEBEE: *offcamera* Wait, no! *There's a sudden rush as Evil Bumblebee screams, as the annoying beeping in the tune of "The Song That Doesn't End" is heard.* No! Get them off of me! Please! I'll do anything! Say anything! Please! Not this!
MALIBU: *cracks his neck a little.* You had your chance, Mr. Anderson. *Picks up the camera and walks out of the room, but not before we see the Minicons, all pestering Evil Bumblebee, the evil Autobot screaming in horror.*
Cut to Cyrway, who's looking up at the camera.
CYRWAY: Anything useful from him?
MALIBU: Not yet, but I figure that after Runway and the boys had their way with him, he'll be singing like a drunk Laserbeak in no time.
CYRWAY: *sighs, pressing her hand against her forehead.* And the other Autobots?
MALIBU: In the brig.
CYRWAY: What about the transwarp engine?
MALIBU: With all the excitement, Washu and Screamer had little time to work on them.
CYRWAY: Frell. All right, let's see if we can locate some local athorities to dump off these evil Autobots to, and continue on our way.
MALIBU: Look on the bright side, Ace. We can explore this entire universe now! Like Lexx!
CYRWAY: *gives him an exasperated look.* Call me Dweedle and I'll kick your ass. Come on...
The two walk to the bridge, where everyone, save for the Cheat, the Minicons, Artemis and Starscream are waiting rather impatiently for her to address the situation.
ORKO: *floats quickly towards Cyrway, wringing his hands.* Um, Amy, we may have a slight problem.
CYRWAY: *sighs again, hiding her face.* What now?
ORKO: Arin, Gecko and I have found there is a magical wayline in this universe, even deeper than the one in the one where we all hail from.
CYRWAY: What's that supposed to mean?
ARIN: It means your scientific theories will work half as likely as they would in our universe.
GECKO: Arthur C. Clarke's observation of "Magic is Science unexplained" doesn't apply here. It's quite the opposite.
CYRWAY: *sardonic* Of course. It makes perfect sense. *Groans as she sinks to her knees.*
GOURRY: So what now?
CYRWAY: We're frellin' stuck, that's what. *Blinks and looks up at Orko* When did you get here?
THE CHEAT: *bursts in, chipping away excitedly.*
CYRWAY: Oh, great. Another random character showing up. What is it with picking up random characters?
WASHU: It's all in the chaos theorum of the multiverse. *Bends at the waist, her hands on her knees, as she listens to the Cheat.* Of course...he's speaking in a primitive neo-classical-baroque cross between Germanic and Romantic with a harsh Afrikaan dialect!
GECKO: So what's he saying?
WASHU: *shrugs* Bugger if I know.
THE CHEAT: *growls, then points back from where he came and makes more noise.*
BROOKLYN: I think he wants us to follow him.
CYRWAY: Like we have anything better to do. Lead the way, The Cheat!
Cut to the Engine Room, where, due to Starscream's influence, looks more like HR Giger had a field day with the design.
DAVIS: *whistles* Wow...Screamer really redecorated since we were last here.
TASUKI: Which was when, this morning?
THE CHEAT: *makes more chirping noises.*
CYRWAY: Okay, little dude, what's the hubbub?
STARSCREAM: *disembodied* The little fuzzball fixed the engine.
EVERYONE: What?
STARSCREAM: Apparently, we were going about it all wrong in the programming factor.
WASHU: Wait...you mean...the engine was running an OS9 engine?
STARSCREAM: Even moreso, we were treating it as true Linux and loading OSX programs, which was only making matters worse. Ergo, the little fuzzball fixed it.
GECKO: So we get to go home?
STARSCREAM: Affirmative.
THE CHEET: *points to a lever above his head and makes more chirping sounds.*
WASHU: He wants us to pull it!
There is a mad dash to the lever, and as a collective, the entire group manages to pull the lever. There is a bright flash of light, and then, nothing. The demons have disappeared completely.
STARSCREAM: Phew. I thought I'd never get rid of them.
*Softcell's "Tainted Love" starts playing as Starscream materializes from the floor, tapping his foot in time with the music. Does a Barry White-type side step as Artemis walks on screen. He holds out his hand, she takes it, and he spins her around, bringing her close, then dips her, holding her tight, and kisses her passionately. The scene fades to black.*
ARTEMIS: *voiceover* Don't make me pull out the heavy artillery.
STARSCREAM: *voiceover* I love it when you talk nasty.
In a script form, the word "MEANWHILE..." shows up, before fading back, this time to Mecha-Washu, cackling evilly.
MECHA-WASHU: *as she passes the one-way mirror showing the Minicons now jumping up and down on Evil Bumblebee, who is still screaming in torment.* At last, my master plan has finally come to gestation! Oh, bananas! And strawberries! But first! *Marches to the Brig, where she stands before the Evil Autobots.* Swear fidelity to me, insects, or else I shall be forced to release the attack gnomes on you!
OPTIMUS PRIME: Never!
MECHA-WASHU: Yay! Attack Gnomes! Attack! *Little garden gnomes suddenly pop up from the floor and swarm Optimus Prime, who is totally disassembled in a matter of seconds.* Now, will anyone else fill his shoes?
The four remaining Autobots drop to their knees, the attack gnomes now swarming around Mecha Washu as though she was their queen.
MECHA WASHU: I knew you would see it my way. Come, to the escape pod!
Cut back to the Minicons, who have worn poor Evil Bumblebee out; the Autobot collapses.
PAYLOAD: *subtitled* Man, even Screamer last longer than that idiot.
SWINDLE: *subtitled* I'm for ice cream. Anyone else?
Once again, fades to black, the script word "Meanwhile..." shows up, before fading to a very cartoony set of someone's Flash cartoon. The entire crew of the Satellite of Love, with the exception of Starscream, Artemis, and the Minicons are all drawn in Homestar Runner fashion. The theme to Homestar Runner, "Everybody" is playing in the background.
GECKO: Son of a...
BROOKLYN: That's it. I'm off the drugs.
QUATRE: You know, Starscream really was in a rush to get rid of us...
CYRWAY: *after a pause.* Aw, Crap.
*THAT'S THE END!*