Trichess part 6--Holy SHIT this is long!! ;p
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under the logo. A hollow rumbling indicated that the hydraulics pulled the platform back into the wall.
CYRWAY: Remember, buy only genuine Bishoph parts!
Why they were still alive? Only the ones who live could feel pain!
BROOKLYN: Because Bishoph is a masochist.
An excited shudder flowed through the man as he thought of the 'experiments' to come.
Yes, he knew that he was a sadist.
GECKO: At least he admits it.
Treating humans according to his own nature would cause him difficulties with the legal authorities. That would cost him governmental assignments, the main source of proceeds for his company.
CYRWAY: Oh my....
GECKO: Holy shit, it's Null! *starts growling*
BROOKLYN: Um, Ace, is that normal? *points to Gecko.*
And animals...? They couldn't plea for mercy...
Yes, these robots were the ideal victims! They were able to feel, they had feelings and... in law they were just things.
CYRWAY: Sounds like Metropolis. And Armitage the Third. And Ghost in the Shell.
Machines, his property, that he could treat however he wanted! And no one would miss them, because no one except for him and his employees knew about their existence...
BROOKLYN: Ah, don't you love false security. *looks over at Cyrway.* Gecko's foaming at the mouth, Ace.
CYRWAY: Oh, that's normal.
BROOKLYN: *blinks and looks back at the screen.*
A well-meant trial, beloved!
Her soul's presence was a comforting light in all the darkness that was overwhelming his heart.
CYRWAY: You know, Silverbolt ruined Black Arachnia because of love.
Yes, Magic, a trial... But this trial was, as humans use to say, a flop...
CYRWAY: *as Ayrwen Sun* "Time to use some jirl power!"
GECKO: *as John Chriton* "Girl! Will you stop speaking Engrish?!"
I see how I can get to it from outside. Hopefully the computer will locate you soon.
Don't do anything that could endanger you, my love. I don't want to lose you.
BROOKLYN: Ye gods....
And I don't want to lose you, either! But in the moment it looks exactly that Bishoph's going to cause exactly this..! Damn it, if I have to risk everything to get you out of there I'm gonna do it! I can't live without you anymore...
CYRWAY: *leans over the chair and makes gagging sounds.*
GECKO: Wow....that must be bad. She usually reserves tossing cookies for Starscream romance fics.
How she had thought this sentence to be sentimental sob-stuff when she had heard it in the movies! Now she had to notice that these words exactly described her feelings.
CYRWAY: *weakly* If Screamer and Arty start talking like that, you'll put me out of my misery, right?
Magic wished to embrace her mate and hold him tight. Then there would be nothing anymore that could endanger their love.
BROOKLYN: Meanwhile, in the real world.....
Hours of discussions and trials to free themselves had given ground to helpless silence.
GECKO: Save Starscream, who continued to bitch.
Cybertron's children, condemned to remain motionless, stood in the darkness of their vault, threatened that the shroud of apathy would lay down on them.
GECKO: Apathy will lay the smackdown on you!
They couldn't expect help from outside. For this world they had never really existed, no one would miss them.
BROOKLYN: Too true. Well, it was nice knowing you didn't exist.
Only one of them knew that it was not like this...
All of a sudden the bitingly dazzling reflectors lit up again, but this time no platform came out the wall. An electronically controlled door at the foot of the dome's wall opened instead.
GECKO: Pizza!
"If this isn't our lovable host," Astrotrain remarked laconically, as the white-clad person appeared inside the hall.
GECKO: *starts foaming at the mouth again.*
CYRWAY: *weakly* Dude, that's not Null.
And Inferno added: "Down there, he seems far less imposing."
BROOKLYN: *bursts out laughing.* Like he was before?!
The doctor smiled, amused. He folded his arms behind his back and placed himself imperiously in the center of the giant room.
BROOKLYN: Always had to be the center of attention.
"Gentlemen, your actual condition isn't very suitable for my purposes," his voice thundered through the hall, boosted by loudspeakers that were hidden in the walls.
BROOKLYN: Um....Amy? Gecko? Are you two going to be okay?
CYRWAY: I'll be fine.... *wipes her mouth and sits back down.* For a moment, I was having Titanic flashbacks.
"But that's going to change soon. After I found out about its function, a certain small device was very helpful in this case."
CYRWAY and BROOKLYN: The cybernet spacecube!
BROOKLYN: I'm worried about Gecko.
CYRWAY: *nonchalantly* Don't mind him, he just goes into Scorpion mode when anything reminds him of Null.
BROOKLYN: *confused.* Ooooooookay.
The light weakened and above the man an oversized hologram of the cube which Dr. Paul had discovered appeared.
BROOKLYN: Wonderful...Paul Heyman's going to be in this fic too.
CYRWAY: Let's see if the spacecube causes nausua and disorientation to its creators as it did unsuspecting human subjects!
"The Microsizer!" Megatron gasped.
GECKO: *his voice a bit off* Much better name than the Decreaser.
BROOKLYN: That idiot.
"So, Microsizer is it called," Bishoph remarked, contented about the information. "As I noticed, it is a special design.
CYRWAY: It's a design not of this world.
I wonder what you have needed it for, Megatron?"
BROOKLYN: To shrink the Autobots so that I could crush them easier, of course.
The Decepticon leader did not answer.
GECKO: He's not too quick on the improv, is he?
Instead, pure hate glowed in his optics.
Heavens, this Transformer was so uncontrolled according his temperament!
CYRWAY: You're just learning this?
Nevertheless, Bishoph was still not able to breach his mental shields. Whatever - one day he would overcome Megatron's mind, too.
BROOKLYN: Just like one day Starscream will be leader of the Decepticons.
The light brightened and the hologram disappeared. Bishoph gestured towards the gate, causing that eight armed persons dressed in black uniforms entered the room.
CYRWAY: Persons with eight arms?
Between them hung a gray box about fifty feet long that, at once, made them think of a sarcophagus in futuristic design.
GECKO: Megatron must die.
A razor-blade-sharp high hum cut through the ominous silence that filled the hall as the box opened. The Transformers' data circuitry that had already been strained to overload were about to tear apart by the sound.
GECKO: Oh, no! they're playing Rod Stewart's Greatest Hits!
As if alive, the box rotated in an upright position, the effect of anti-graphy fields. Slowly, but straight it moved in Starscream's direction.
BROOKLYN: Nice knowing you, Screamer....no, wait, I take that back.
The Decepticon panicked.
CYRWAY: Well, characterisation thus far for the flyboy is satisfactory.
He wished to run away but he was condemned to stay and wait. He was completely helpless before this hungry juggernaut which was coming in his direction, the greedy fangs open wide.
"No! No, please don't...!" Starscream wailed timidly.
ALL THREE: Yes! Yes! Do it!
Searching for help, he frantically looked back and forth, but soon his eyes were fixed to the approaching opening again.
GECKO: Scream like a little bitch with a skinned knee, flyboy!
Reddish discharges licked over the edge of the metallic mouth.
Closer and closer...!
GECKO: "Help me! I tore apart my insides! Help me, I've got no soul to sell!"
BROOKLYN: Didn't you already sing that today?
"No..." Starscream's voice had faded to a whimper. "Help me... please...!"
CYRWAY: You reap what you sow, Flyboy.
Megatron tried like a possessed mechanism to break through the paralysing field. But it was just too strong!
BROOKLYN: So? Starscream's gonna get canned. The humans are doing you a favour. You should be happy.
The small, reddish flashes started to lick greedily over his second in comand's metal.
CYRWAY: *sits forward, cackling maniacally*
In this moment his chains were deactivated and, quick as lightning the trap snapped closed. Starscream's blood-curdling yell made the energon inside of the Transformers freeze.
GECKO: his voice itself is blood-curdling.
None of them was able to give a single sound of protest anymore. Horror made them remain speechless.
Only Benedict Bishoph deeply enjoyed the spectacle.
BROOKLYN: And that was only the first setting.
GECKO: "Now, do tell me how that felt...."
Although it seemed to last for eternities, it was just a few seconds later that the box slid noiselessly away from the wall, releasing its victim.
CYRWAY: And that's what you get for not entertaining Bishoph.
Megatron noted in relief that the other Decpticon was still alive, even though the device had reduced him to a human body size.
CYRWAY: Perfect size.
GECKO: For Arty to step on him?
Starscream cowered in place like a bewildered child.
ALL THREE: What else is new?
His central processor was not yet able to note that the hellish procedure finally was over. Their RDA guns
CYRWAY: Eh?
ready to fire, two guards took delivery of the shrunken Decpticon.
At the same time the box was aiming for its next victim. This time, Bishoph had decided on an Autobot as a target: Bumblebee.
BROOKLYN: Bumblebee's already human sized, idiot!
"Bishoph, stop that bad comedy at once!" Optimus Prime demanded. "If you need a victim, take me!"
GECKO: "Where? You're low on gas and I need a jacket."
"How heroic!" the doctor burst out laughing, amused. "Don't be afraid, Prime, you are going to have your turn."
Meanwhile, Megatron's cerebro chips were working feverishly. He had noticed that the intensity of all paralysing fields weakened the moment Starscream's was deactivated. So, he had to use his strength just in the right moment.
CYRWAY: Which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, unless the energy used to power the weapon--
BROOKLYN: Better stop thinking before your head explodes.
Now, the sarcophagus hung closely in front of Bumblebee, the reddish discharges were already trying the taste of the yellow surface. Yet, the paralysing field broke down and... suddenly everything went topsy-turvy!
ALL THREE sink in their chairs and lift their feet in the air.
The skilled, small Autobot had really managed to slip away before the trap could catch him and was free now.
CYRWAY: Go BeeBee!
At the same time Megatron had been able to drag his arm out of the field and to activate Soundwave's mechanical cassette eject.
GECKO: Megatron likes to push Soundwave's buttons.
Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak and Buzzaw were thrown into the hall and transformed.
ALL THREE: YAY!!!
BROOKLYN: Finally, the cool Decepticons.
Right away the guards opened fire.
CYRWAY: If they didn't, I'd almost be worried.
"Megatron, we're nearly outta energy 'n' unarmed," Rumble shouted, very aimless, continuously dodging to escape the RDA-Projectiles. "What shall we do?"
GECKO: Be resourceful.
BROOKLYN: There's eight of them and six of you. Seven if you include Bumblebee.
"Retreat and regroup!" the Decepticon leader ordered, trying to free himself.
CYRWAY: Classic Megatron!
Starscream needed no order to withdraw.
BROOKLYN: He was already out of the base and halfway to Tiajuana.
Instinctively he pushed the two guards away from him, transformed, and just wanted to gain distance in any way. Without thinking about it, he broke through the upper gate, the one that lead to the platform, dashed with roaring turbines through a much too narrow corridor, broke at last through a skylight somewhere and escaped with a heavily damaged rudder.
CYRWAY: Yet he still escaped. And that's what counts.
GECKO: Ladies and gentlemen, the part of Starscream will be played by Stephanie McMahon.
Meanwhile in the station's lower regions, the hunt for five cassette Transformers and a yellow VW Beetle began.
GECKO: How do you lose a Volkswagen Beetle?
Bishoph was furious - he was boiling with rage! His face was glowing deep red with wrath.
CYRWAY: "Damn that Stephanie McMahon! Damn her, damn her, damn her!"
"Bring me back my machines! At once!" he roared at the guards like thunder.
Foaming with rage, he turned to the Decepticon leader, who was about to free himself from his chains.
"You..!" the telepath snarled dangerously. "You will pay for that!"
ALL THREE: Cash, check, or charge?
He pulled a remote control out of his pocket...
GECKO: You will all now be forced to watch all the episodes of Friends in order!
The pain! This must be hell!
CYRWAY: No more Pheobe! Please!
Suddenly, every wire inside Megatron's body seemed to glow.
Stunned, but sadly not unconscious, the Decepticon collapsed. Because of the burning pain, unable to fight against it, the Decepticon leader had to realize that the paralysing field was entangling him again with its claws.
BROOKLYN: About time.
CYRWAY: CLUTCH!
Slowly Magic released the hard grip around the elbow-rest and took a deep breath.
BROOKLYN: Watching back to back episodes of Friends would do that to a person.
Pearls of sweat covered her forehead. Only with difficulty was she able to convince her stomach of getting rid of the coffee the usual way instead of returning it.
GECKO: But it tastes like shit!
Bishoph was insane! Completely insane! He seemed beastly to enjoy torturing others...!
BROOKLYN: We're still MiSTing this....we must enjoy it too.
She had to get Megatron and the others out there as soon as possible!
CYRWAY: CLUTCH--oh, dammit, the transmission dropped!
Bumblebee sped with screeching wheels through a maze of corridors. If he just had knowledge of this place! Somehow every corridor looked the same: long, the walls covered by grayish aluminium panels and every five to ten meters an electronically controlled hydraulic door.
GECKO: I do hope he didn't ram them.
Oh Matrix! Where was the exit?
CYRWAY: Should have followed Starscream.
He heard the guards coming closer, and sped up as much as the corridor's narrowness allowed it. Around the next corner... Confound it! A dead end...! No, just a moment, there was another door...
It had a sensor that reacted to touch. To open it he had to transform. A difficult action because he was fifteen feet tall
BROOKLYN: He was a foot taller than Spike.
and the corridor only eleven an a half. Whatever, it became a bit narrow but it was manageable.
GECKO: Maybe bumping the door...
Bumblebee pushed the metal plate which had the size of a human hand, and the door's halves slipped into the wall. He transformed again, drove through the opening, retransformed, and locked the door behind him. Afterward he pushed a labcase in front of the opening, hoping that it would slow his pursuers down a bit.
CYRWAY: It's like we're in the middle of a cartoon or something.
Exhausted, the Autobot dropped his back against the wall and took a look around.. He was in a workshop or a lab or something similar. It reminded him of Ratchet's repair bay inside the Ark. The room was about eight meters tall, and beneath the ceiling hung different devices and lamps which could be lowered down according to the need. In the room's center was a large metallic surgery table. At the side was a further table on which a cubic object remained.
BROOKLYN: The Rubix cube of Cybertron....
"The Microsizer..." Bumblebee whispered.
"He has to be here somewhere!" someone outside shouted.
CYRWAY: How do you lose a seven-foot robot painted bright yellow?
"In Lab 7, maybe?" someone else proposed.
GECKO: Oh no....that would be too convenient.
Steps came closer.
The small Autobot looked around and back like a hunted rabbit. There was only one door! Where should he escape to now? The only additional opening in this room was the air conditioner shaft, and for that he was too tall. Except if... he shrunk!
BROOKLYN: Shrink from seven feet to six feet. Brilliant.
Bumblebee grasped the Microsizer and opened his thorax cover.
GECKO: Bumblebee's thorax. Cute.
Hopefully he had not forgotten about what Perceptor had taught him about the Transformers' biotechnology...
CYRWAY: Simon Furman strikes again!
No, the installation worked well.
Someone was busy at the door.
BROOKLYN: We don't need to know that.
Bumblebee crossed his fingers and activated the Microsizer. It worked! He became smaller!
CYRWAY: A whole foot shorter. Yay.
Luckily the device was not adjusted to his organism and so not fully effective.
GECKO: So he still has big feet.
Smaller than five feet would have been too much of a good thing...
GECKO: Midgets. 'Nuff said.
The labcase in front of the door started to shake, but the now really very small Autobot managed to crawl into the shaft and to close the grating just in time.
CYRWAY: Your typical getaway.
"Confound it! Where is that tin can?" someone scolded. "Such a giant thing can't simply disappear!"
BROOKLYN: It's not the fact that he's big...it's the fact that he's bright canary yellow with big feet.
Bumblebee suppressed a giggle,
GECKO: Spike, stop tickling me.
while crawling away as noiseless as possible. Hopefully he would find an exit soon and right afterwards a possibility to free his friends.
BROOKLYN: Free us while you're at it.
The shaft system was as confusing as the corridors and partly very gloomy, but at least he was not pursued here. So he paved his way, trying instinctively to find tubes that lead upwards.
CYRWAY: And if he could fly, that plan would make a whole lot of sense.
After some time he got lost in a section that was not only gloomy but absolutely dark. Carefully the Transformer groped his way forward, meter by meter.
GECKO: At this time, I would have risked at least the parking lights.
He calculated that he would fall down a shaft that lead deeper at every moment, as unexpectedly several red lights appeared in front of him and a lazy voice said:
CYRWAY: I'm not wearing any underwear.
"Hi, Autobot, are ya tryin' to leave the party on the sly?"
BROOKLYN: The music sucked, the host was dull, and the beer was piss in a can. Yeah, you could say I'm leaving.
*INTERLUDE 7*
Seven Minicons venture through the corridors, beeping as though they are having a conversation, which is in fact the case, as their native language is translated on the bottom of the screen in subtitles.
SWINDLE: *series of beeps, translated to:* ...And with that, I was thoroughly disappointed in the fact that yes, they did bring in Legion, but not as David Charles Assam, but as Jason Stryker, thus negating the entire irony of the scene where Legion was manipulating Professor Xavier into using Cerebro for William Styker's evil scheme--
PAYLOAD: *More beeping, translated:* What I hoped for was the foster mother connection between Mystique and Rogue would have been at least hinted at.
RUNWAY: *beeping, Translated:* And who didn't see the Phoenix line being blatantly slapped in our faces, right in frame one of Jean Grey's first shot. I mean, come on! You can't have Phoenix without the Sh'iar!
SONAR: *beeps shortly, translated:* Damn straight!
JETSTORM: *beeps as well, translated:* Right on!
SWINDLE: *subtitled* Well, enough about X-Men, let's go pester Starscream some more.
RUNWAY: *subtitled*Good idea! We haven't done that in five minutes!
SONAR: *subtitled* Yeah!
JETSTORM: *subtitled* I'm in!
ASTROSCOPE: *subtitled* Hey, guys, listen up.
All is silent, with the exception of slight muttering, progressively getting louder.
VOICE 1: As usual, a successful infiltration.
VOICE 2: Are you sure this is a good idea, dear? I mean, we might be able to befriend this crew, thus have access to more supplies.
SWINDLE: *subtitled* That sounds like Starscream!
OTHER MINICONS: *subtitled from a collective long buzz.* Shut up, you idiot!
VOICE 1: *as a sharp smack sounds out, metal against metal.* Look, I didn't abduct you from those do-good Decepticons just so you could think!
VOICE 2: Yes, I know...I'm sorry, it won't happen again.
VOICE 3: Ah, there you are!
VOICE 1: Bumblebee, report.
VOICE 3: Prime, Ratchet, Wheeljack, and Jazz are in the med lab. From what I've seen, this ship may be what we need to take on Liege Maximo and destroy him!
VOICE 2: But the Hub is sanctuary for--*another smack silences the protest.*
VOICE 1: Fine. Starscream, scout the corridors for any crew members of this scow and shoot to kill.
VOICE 2: But-- *yet another smack*
VOICE 1: No buts! Come, Bumblebee, let's make our way to the bridge.
SWINDLE: *subtitled* What was that about? The only one who smacks Starscream around is Artemis!
SKYBLAST: *subtitled with a small beep.* Yes, but this could have been the evil alternate universe Starscream who seems to have boarded with the other evil Autobots. Therefore we should try to befriend him with all our adorable cuteness to find out what their diabolical scheme must truly be.
GIR: *loudly, as he and Mecha-Washu seem to have joined the group.* Whatcha doin'?!
SWINDLE: *subtitled* Wonderful.
Pan view of the hallway as the Minicons give various degrees of exasperation towards GIR. Just before anyone else can make snide remarks, Starscream walks in placidly and looks down at the nine smaller beings, as though contemplating their existences.
RUNWAY: *subtitled* Let the games begin.
JETSTORM: *subtitled* Roger that.
SONAR: *subtitled* 10-4.
STARSCREAM: Hello.
ASTROSCOPE: *subtitled* What do you want, tubby bitch?
STARSCREAM: My name is Starscream.
PAYLOAD: *subtitled* We kinda figured that out, glitchhead.
STARSCREAM: *grants them a broad genuine smile.* Aren't you all so cute! Do you have names?
SWINDLE: *subtitled* Yeah, we do, but little fucking good that'll do you, since the fucking swear filter beeps out every fucking thing we fucking say, you stupid fuck. *At this, the Minicons giggle collectively.*
STARSCREAM: *beams.* You are the cutest little robots I've seen. *Looks over his shoulder.* Skyfire told me I had to kill anyone who I come across, but I can't do that, especially to those who are so adorable.
MECHA-WASHU: *overcoming apparent shock.* We are adorable, aren't we? *Beams and then looks up at Starscream sweetly.* I'm Mecha-Washu version 3.02(a).
SWINDLE: *subtitled* I was wondering why Washu would have hung out with the likes of GIR.
GIR: *stands at attention* GIR unit, reporting for duty to serve the Irken Army, sir! *Suddenly starts breakdancing, which causes Mecha-Washu to do the same.*
STARSCREAM: *laughs, amused, as he sits crosslegged before the Minicons.* You're all so adorable...can we be friends?
RUNWAY: *subtitled* You know this is way too easy, boys.
JETSTORM: *subtitled* Yep.
SONAR: *subtitled* Too true.
SWINDLE: *subtitled* Aw, hell, let's just pester him.
The seven Minicons suddenly leap onto Starscream with a collective battle beep as GIR and Mecha-Washu watch. As Starscream is in between crying uncle and laughing, Mecha-Washu's eyes glow red.
MECHA-WASHU: Pathetic pretender to the name! Resist the cuteness! *Eyes turn turquoise* But then the cuteness will overcome you! Yay! *Jumps into the Minicon pile.*
About that moment, Artemis walks into the hallway, her expression, as usual when confronting Starscream, is exasperate.
ARTEMIS: Primusdammit, Starscream, can't you do anything right? Boys, what did I say about pestering Unca Screamer when he needs to get work done?
The Minicons instantly detach themselves from Starscream and stand against the wall, looking innocent of the crime.
MECHA-WASHU: *growls* You dare interrupt my glorious scheme for world domination?! I'll have your kneecap! *Attaches herself to Artemis's leg and proceeds to gnaw at it.*
ARTEMIS: *looks down, then looks at GIR.* Okay, what happened to Washu?
GIR: *shrugs cutely, only to notice that Starscream is staring up wide-opticked at Artemis.* What's with him?
STARSCREAM: *as romantic happy music plays in the background, their optics meet, his with a dreaming, loss-for-breath expression, her's in her normal, bored and deadpan.* Good Primus, you're beautiful.
ARTEMIS: *as the romantic music screeches to a halt a la phonograph.* Knock it off, Flyboy, the amnesia act didn't work the first eighty seven times you tried it. *To Mecha-Washu.* Weren't you in the med lab repairing the boarded Autobots?
MECHA-WASHU: Die, arrogant wench! *Continues to gnaw with no success.*
STARSCREAM: Oh, no! *Jumps up to his feet and takes Artemis by the shoulders, practically sweeping her off her feet.* Please, I cannot allow you to fall for Prime's dastardly scheme! You mustn't fall for their ploy--
ARTEMIS: *annoyed* I know all about the evil Autobots' attempt to take over our ship. *Realisation* Ah, you're their Starscream.
STARSCREAM: Yes, I was kidnapped by them and used to tell them of our secrets...I'm forced to carry out their dirty work, and I want to resist...but I am too weak to fight back...*urgently* Please, I beg of you...grant me sanctuary!
ARTEMIS: *grumbles* Damn, and I was hoping that this universe's Starscream had a spine. Fine, fine, just lead me to whoever came with you on board so that I can kick someone's ass and not your's for a change.
STARSCREAM: *happily* Of course, beloved! Anything! Just so I may remain by your side!
ARTEMIS: Hold on, I didn't say anything about you--
STARSCREAM: --Thank you! Thank you! I promise you, I will not disappoint you!
ARTEMIS: *to herself* Good Primus, what did I get myself into...?
GIR: *singsong voice* Arty got another boyfriend! Arty got another boyfriend!
ARTEMIS: You're not helping, GIR.
Cut to the Minicons, who are watching the entire scene quietly.
SWINDLE: *subtitled* Damn, that's certainly FUBARed.
RUNWAY: *subtitled* You know what we should do now? Find our Starscream and alert him to this situation.
SONAR and JETSTORM: *subtitled, together* Yeah!
ASTROSCOPE: *subtitled* I wonder if the Insecticons have this much fun.
PAYLOAD: *subtitled* Only in Wayward Martian's fics, brother. Only in Wayward Martian's fics.
10.
GECKO: How many more chapters do we have of this?!
The computer sounded an alarm!
ALL THREE: *in a monotone* "It's not going good! It's not going good! It's not going good!"
At once, Magic sat in front of the screen again.
CYRWAY: Aw, frig, there goes my Diablo multiplayer!
The satellite's scan detected one of the sought Decepticons. With relatively high speed, he was heading for the Mount St. Hilary. According to the data, it was Starscream.
BROOKLYN: He remembered that Beast Wars Megatron had left the Transmetal 2 driver behind...
GECKO: Temporal...paradox...imploding...brain....
He is probably trying to find energon and spare parts there.
CYRWAY: Or he was looking for someone to put him out of his impending misery.
He will need them if Teletran is still in the same bad mood as last time...
GECKO: *as Pilot.* Commander, Moya's PMSing and I'm feeling it. Back off.
Magic touched Megatron's soul with tender thoughts.
BROOKLYN: Ten years later, I'm seeing him in a wifebeater and a six pack.
I'm glad you feel better again.
CYRWAY: Amazing what Detox can do.
I'm just feeling a bit smaller. Or actually... exactly the right size...
GECKO: Bwee?
His hint made a small smile appear on Magic's tired face.
ALL THREE: Awwwww...
She recalled a report of the target's actual state of affairs. She absolutely did not like what she saw:
BROOKLYN: A militant anti-SNAD MiSTing her fic.
the energon level was dangerously low. Starscream would not be able to reach the Ark, not to mention to breach the defence system.
GECKO: And that's a bad thing?
As if to acknowledge her supposition the computer announced at exactly that moment:
CYRWAY: Starscream was shot down by multiple ex-girlfriends.
"TARGET HAS CRASHED!"
GECKO: And hopefully burning.
"Shit..."
Hammering wildly on the keys, she explained to the Decepticon headquarters' main computer that it should keep new gathered data on demand.
BROOKLYN: And while you're at it, remember to tape Greg the Bunny.
Than she hastily ran down the stairs. Putting on her jacket while she was running towards Pentacle, she hoped to find Starscream before anyone else did.
CYRWAY: Like multiple ex-girlfriends out for his blood.
Many minutes of chronic speeding later,
GECKO: In a VW Beetle?! How do you chronically speed in a Bug?!
CYRWAY: Drop in a Porsche 911 engine and weigh down the front.
Magic had to notice that she had not been that lucky this time.
BROOKLYN: Arty was already dragging his carcass back as a trophy.
It was right in the middle of the night.
ALL THREE: *fake Australian accents* Th' dingoes got yer baby!
She and her Beetle were in the deepest wilderness. No inhabited houses for miles, only hilly forest area. In other words, everything was pitch-dark, or better, would have been pitch-dark if there had not been some light which was coming out of a side canyon, lighting up the misty night sky in a nebulous way.
BROOKLYN: Nebulous. It must be her favourite word or something.
GECKO: Sort of like Ace's "smirk" and "curtly."
Because she could not assume that the wild animals had a midnight open air concert,
CYRWAY: It's more Hawkwind's style.
she figured that the festive illumination was thought to put the right light on Starscream's crash site.
She switched off Pentacle's headlights and drove just a little bit further along the unpaved street,
GECKO: THUD-DUMP! Pentacle was then run over by a semi. The end.
before she hid her car in a narrow, nearly overgrown wood-path.
BROOKLYN: Conveniently left there for horny teenagers to park.
From there on she fought her way by foot.
CYRWAY: In the cover of false night....
A few thin veils of mist hung above the brushwood like curious forest spirits, greeting the young woman who moved along the wilderness' paths with the agility and the instinct of a wild animal.
BROOKLYN and GECKO look at each other.
Very soon, Magic could hear voices which spoke in English.
CYRWAY: *as Aeryn Sun* "This is giving me a woody."
GECKO: *As John Chriton* "Willies! The willies! Stop talking Engrish!"
The forest's fresh smell was adulterated by the stench of gas and hot metal. Accompanied by deodorant and aftershave, the sharp scent of men brushed past her sensitive nose.
BROOKLYN: And the bean burritos the men ate prior didn't help matters.
She moved along the rock above the small valley. Carefully, trying not to reveal herself by stones that broke off, she crawled as close to the edge as possible to spy down.
CYRWAY: *falsetto* I spy, with my little eye, something that begins with W.
GECKO: Whiny little bitch?
CYRWAY: Wow! You're good!
About eight metres below her, three cars were parking on a treeless, but grass-covered plateau. Three men in uniform stood together, talking low with each other while a fourth was fumbling fussily with a searchlight which lit up lower parts of the canyon.
BROOKLYN: Figures. Make one guy do all the work while the others take a smoke break.
Relieved in a way, Magic noticed that these men were only the sheriff and his deputies of this county
GECKO: "Hey! We don't take kindly to you folk!"
and not, as she had feared, the army.
"There's Mrs. Kubicheck's U.F.O.: an over-sized toy plane," the sheriff grumbled sonorously.
CYRWAY: Hey, that belongs to me!
"If the thing wasn't just six metres long, you 'd believe 'twas a real jet fighter," his deputy confirmed.
BROOKLYN: I don't think six metres constitutes for a toy.
"Looks exactly like an F-15!" the officer at the searchlight remarked.
CYRWAY: Only cuter, with better fashion tastes.
According to his voice and movements, he was the youngest, approximately early twenties.
GECKO: Rookie!
"Boy, oh boy, the guy who built the thing must be a Transformers fan," he continued. "The craft looks like Starscream..."
ALL THREE snort, stiffling laughter.
"Like who?" the sheriff barked, slightly confused.
GECKO and BROOKLYN point to CYRWAY.
"Well, Starscream, one of the evil Decepticons which..."
GECKO: Key word! Evil!
"Yah, yah, it's all right!" his boss interrupted morosely. He hadn't the nerves for such childishness now. "No matter who's the owner he'd better be prepared for a lot! Jeopardizing aviation, jeopardizing the environment... Alas, jeopardizing the entire county! Furthermore he'd better think about the costs for salvage operations..."
CYRWAY: And the award to the most realistic person in this fic goes to the Sheriff.
Meanwhile Magic was frowning.
GECKO: *falsetto* I wanted that award!
Six metres? An Eagle used to be about twenty metres long.
CYRWAY: Wait, a normal Gundam is only 16.7 meters tall, and they're a third taller than a Transformer...
BROOKLYN: Cliff's at it again.
That meant that Starscream's internal Macrosizer enlarged him
BROOKLYN: Don't you mean shrank?
just proportional to his new extents.
CYRWAY: Now that just sounds like bullshitting to me.
She continued to crawl carefully along the rock until she finally was able to see down the gap the jetfighter had crashed in.
Starscream was in a deplorable condition.
GECKO: Keep him away from any mirrors for a while.
Both wings damaged, the left rudder nearly ripped of, his body stuck nose down in a large heap of ground. The rear part of the under-carriage hung useless in the air because the jets' outlets rested on a boulder.
BROOKLYN: My, that looks painful.
GECKO: *as BW Rampage* Allow me to deepen the pain....
Fortunately he seemed to realize nothing.
ALL THREE: Situation normal, yess...
"Oh, boy, how shall I get you out of there?" Magic thought, biting her lower lip. "You're in the spotlight like Mick Jagger at a Stones concert..."
CYRWAY: And with a mouth like that, it's hard to miss.
He roamed noiseless through the alien environment which fit so perfectly to his own nature. Everywhere, it gave chances to hide, to observe without being observed, to waylay the unsuspecting pray. The ground's elastic excrescences passed lightly over his plain surface, an pleasant feeling. The shadow went on whisking through the darkness.
GECKO: Someone dropped the tranny again.
All of a sudden, he saw it in front of him. It was one of these two-legged, organic creatures. He dodged deeper into the shadows, steeling slowly closer to the creature that cowered on the stone. What did the being want to do there? It seemed to observe something.
He did not like these two-legged creatures.
BROOKLYN: At least someone has their priorities straight.
Not after what they did to him and the others... He hated them! Cautiously, the shadow got closer to the being, not making the slightest noise.
CYRWAY: *stands, in a deep thick Russian accent.* Covert Agent Ravage, at your service.
Yet, he was close enough to miss the creature under no circumstances. He crouched, every of his motion systems ready to leap. The fever of the hunt flashed through his body in the form of a slight discharge.
CYRWAY: *chanting* Kill them! Kill them! Kill them!
But he did not leap, hesitated...
GECKO: What kind of Decepticon are you, anyway?!
There was something that differed from the other two-legged beings. Not even that the main specific smell was different, it also had an aura he somehow was familiar with...
BROOKLYN: Enter the dues ex machina of fangirldom.
Suddenly the creature jerked around, looking in his direction. He ducked deeper into the shadows. It came carefully closer. It had discovered him though he was absolutely sure that he had given no sign to reveal himself.
GECKO: The advantages of a blatant self-insertion.
Should he flee or attack? He waited...
ALL THREE: Attack! ATTACK!!!
"Ravage? Ravage, is that you?"
GECKO: *cackles like Tarantulus.*
It knew his name!
ALL THREE: Duh.
The ground's excrescences in front of him were pushed aside. Now they stood eye to eye.
Strange... All of a sudden, the metallic jaguar felt relief. An inner voice told him that he could trust this creature. His motion systems decreased the strain. Slowly he came out of his hiding place.
CYRWAY: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO RAVAGE?!
GECKO: Domesticated him, it seems.
The being was absolutely not afraid of him. It friendly smiled at him - that looked neat!
BROOKLYN: Okay, this is scaring me.
According to the anatomy, he assumed it was a female.
GECKO: And how would he know?!
"Ravage, I'm glad it's you," the creature whispered softly. "I feared, the sheriff might have discovered me."
BROOKLYN: If he did, would that mean we could get out of reading the rest of this fic?
It glanced into the wood behind him.
GECKO: *in BW Ravage voice* The Tripredacus council wants no witnesses. I will have to kill you.
"Are there more of the boys? Starscream got, not only literally, up to the cockpit into a mess.
CYRWAY: When is that a news bulletin?
And I don't have any plan how we could get him out of there."
BROOKLYN: You mean the omniscient self-insertion has no idea how to write herself out of this? Gasp!
She talked so intimately to him
GECKO: The truth comes out!
as if they had known each other and had be friends for millions of years. It was strange, somehow Ravage felt as if it had really been like this, although he did not even know the creature's name.
CYRWAY: *stands in her seat.* KILL! REND! RIP! DESTROY!
To indicate that he was going to return, the robot jaguar rubbed his head in cat manner along her hand.
CYRWAY: *sinks back into her seat.* Aw, how cute.
Than he mingled with the shadows again and disappeared between the trees.
An annoyed "Eyyy!," a rattle and a flood of insults which were rarely to be heared even in the lowest districts of Cybertron, told Frenzy that his brother had stumbled over something for the third time within 0.3 kAsek.
GECKO: Well, at least they're still juvenile delinquents.
Understandable. Here, it was as dark as oil pan. He wondered how Ravage could find his way under such lighting conditions. Soundwave had explained the infrared garbage to him once, but...whatever.
GECKO and CYRWAY: *in the tune of "United States of Whatever"* "And this is my continuum of whatever!"
Topic 'Ravage', where was this sneaky kitty anyway?
BROOKLYN: if he's anything like Ace's cat, then he's in the pantry sneaking catnip.
Bang!
GECKO and CYRWAY: "--your head! Metal health will drive you mad!"
"Damned, giant exhaust!"
"Shhhhhh! Rumble!" Bumblebee hissed, the third member of their team. "Someone might hear us!"
CYRWAY: Quick, gag him and steal his lunch money!
"I exhaust-like don't care if they're shocked or not!" the other barked, sullen. "It's as pitch-dark as in the ultimate exhaust pipe!"
GECKO: Ask Octane, he would know.
"The problem is not your verbal expression, it's being discovered!" the Autobot replied.
GECKO: Three of you, four of them. Bunch of pussies, if you ask me.
"Yeah," Frenzy confirmed. "So shuttup, man!"
So the three tried to move on as quietly as any possible. They managed that quite well for a time, until Frenzy squeaked, frightened, as something started to growl in front of him.
GECKO: RHEBUS MONKEYS ON CRACK! RUN!
"Shhhhh!" the two others chorused at once.
Senselessly, the others could not see the gesture anyway, he pointed into the darkness where two red lights reproachfully lit up.
"Ah, it's ya, Ravage:" Frenzy sighed in relief.
"Did ya say: Ravage?"
"Do I mumble, or what..?"
"It's all right, man..!"
CYRWAY: *with a lisp* I love those two. They're funny.
"He wants ta show us somethin'!"
GECKO: What is it, Ravage? Laserbeak fell into the well?
Magic spied down with all her effort.
BROOKLYN: How does one spy down?
The lower plateau showed a slight overhanging rock. That meant it was possible to reach the crashed jet close to about a few meters, but then... Starscream laid in the floodlight. She had to distract the sheriff and his men somehow. Even just for a few seconds...
CYRWAY: Lift up your shirt! While they're distracted, have the boys take them out from behind!
A noise behind her! She jerked around, ready for defence and... relaxed again. It was just Ravage and the three Musketeers.
ALL THREE smack their foreheads simultaneously.
The latter stared at the young woman as if she was the eighth World Wonder.
CYRWAY: She's nowhere near Andre the Giant status!
GECKO: Nowhere near Chyna either!
"But this is one of those Earthlings," Rumble finally managed to say.
BROOKLYN: Yeah, but she's the author.
Magic pointed down with one hand, while holding the other's forefinger against her lips to gesture that he should please speak quietly. Ravage supported the hint with a light snarl.
"But this is an Earthling," the Decepticon repeated nearly without sound.
GECKO: No she's not. She's the Author! God, you'd think people didn't read Bob and George or something.
"Someone like Biscrap..."
CYRWAY: Nice comeback, Christian.
"Not like him, guaranteed," Magic contradicted exactly as quietly. "I want to help you to free your friends."
BROOKLYN: *sighs exasperately.*
"'n' why should ya do this, Earthian?" Frenzy hissed.
CYRWAY: Because an angel with black wings--oh, wait, wrong cartoon.
Magic left her observation point on silent feet to come closer. She knew how lucky she was that the Transformers were unarmed and low on energy.
GECKO: Yeah, but they could easily crush your skull in like a puddin'.
"Because I am one of your fans," she answered, looking straight into the optics of the other, who was about half a head taller than her. "That's why!"
CYRWAY: You sick FREAK!
BROOKLYN: Who's calling the kettle black?
CYRWAY: Yeah, but I wouldn't help the Decepticons!
They did not need to know yet that there was much more behind it.
Frenzy crossed his arms in front of his chest and bowed slightly.
"'n' why should we want ya helpin' us?" he asked pointedly.
"Because I know this planet!" she answered with the same intonation. "You - not!"
GECKO: Yeah, sure, give them a reason to use you up and throw you away...
"Just a moment," Bumblebee interrupted. "How do you know about Bishoph, Earthian?"
CYRWAY: We watch RAW.
GECKO: *imitating Larry The King Lawler* Stacy Keibler! Trish Stratus! Kitties and puppies! Kitties and puppies!
"Well... err...," Magic started, scratching the back of her head, embarrassed. "I wanted to know if the Ark really existed and went to the Mount St. Hillary. The Ark was there but no-one in it. So I started to investigate..."
Keep your fingers crossed that they won't get suspicious!
GECKO: Hell, we're suspicious.
In the case of Rumble and Frenzy: I'm absolutely not worried...
"... And my name is not 'Earthian'. My friends call me Mag."
"Mag? What should that mean?"
"Is an abbreviation. But I'm gonna explain that later to you..."
CYRWAY: It's Magret.
Accompanied by Ravage, she stole back to the edge. "In the moment my problem is Starscream..."
Frenzy shrugged.
"When's he not someone's problem?" he commented, unappreciative.
ALL THREE stand up and clap.
His brother hit his open hand against his own forehead, what caused a silent "klonk."
CYRWAY: "Ow! I'm telling Dad you hit me!"
"Oh, man, Frenzy! Do ya have just rust under your head plates? The organic titanium babe has found ol' Screamer here!"
GECKO: "Babe?" *blinks*
Magic and Ravage looked at each other. They both wondered why, considering all this discussion, the sheriff had not found them yet. Bumblebee joined them. Due to their dispute, the brothers were absolutely unable to add something productive to the actual situation.
ALL THREE: And when was THAT not news?
Magic, if they overdo it...
Yes?
... take out their fuses!
ALL THREE: PLEASE!
"Starscream is stuck down in the canyon," Magic explained to her co-observers, pointing towards the place of the crash landing. "The problem is the people down there."
"What are they?" the Autobot wanted to know.
CYRWAY: Judd Nelson and Will Farrell.
"Law enforcement officers," Magic answered. "'Til now, they haven't been aware of being confronted with an alien. They believe Starscream's a kinda toy plane. We have to get him out of there before they discover the truth."
ALL THREE start whistling the X-Files theme.
"And what would happen if they found out?"
GECKO: Would it make a difference?
"He's low on energy. I suppose they'd think he's dead and disassemble him for analysis."
BROOKLYN: You know, as the only one here who does not like endorsing violence, even I'm getting bored.
"And how about explaining the entire thing to them?" Bumblebee proposed.
CYRWAY: How about you four of you just whup their sorry human arses?
Magic sighed.
"Bumblebee you're naive," she answered, her eyes holding a puppy-dog expression.
CYRWAY: She's saying this to a Transformer who was toting an RPG the size of Omega Supreme in War Within.
"We are confronted with normal, average people. If something doesn't fit in their understanding of the world - like you Transformers - they're gonna feel threatened. And if they feel threatened, normal, average people usually are going to destroy the supposed threat for safety... Remember: you always have to accustom normal, average people slowly to new facts!"
GECKO: Normal, average people have guns!
The small Autobot who was - due to his fifteen feet height - more than two and a half times larger than his discussion partner, looked at her, the blue optics shining seriously.
CYRWAY: He was a foot taller than Spike!
"Do you also feel threatened by us Transformers?" he slowly asked.
BROOKLYN: Threatened, no.
She shook her head.
"No, of course not," she answered. "But I belong to the crazy people.
GECKO: They're called SNADs. You want to avoid them at all costs, before they turn you into plushies.
And, furthermore, to those who know that they've got a few screws loose..."
They heard the sheriff bellow from below: "Thunderbolt and hailstorm!
CYRWAY: Hellfire and brimstone!
Harvey, where's J.G. and his cursed salvage vehicle?"
BROOKLYN: Known as a wrecker in this part of the world....
CYRWAY: WRECK AND RULE!!!
The deputy at the radio answered: "Had a break down on the interstate. But they're already got the spare parts."
"Fine," the sheriff snorted. "I wanna get this scrap heap away from here to where it's secure. It's important evidence! Is that clear to everybody?"
CYRWAY: Important evidence for what? That Starscream's an idiot?
"Yes, sheriff!"
"Oh, damn it!" Magic cursed. "I hoped they'd leave and not return before daylight..."
BROOKLYN: But that would be too convenient.
Nervously she bit her lower lip.
"Where's the problem?" Rumble meant from his place on the balcony. "We go down, overwhelm them and free the Screamer."
ALL THREE: That's what we've been trying to say!
"Rumble, if they manage to sound the alarm we'll be saddled with the cops, the national guard, the army and - even worse - the television crews,"
CYRWAY: That's where you come up, flash them, the boys sneak up behind while they're distracted and knock them out. Simple.
Magic refused the proposal. "Without weapons and energy you wouldn't get far.
BROOKLYN: Well, they've got enough to argue with you.
Besides, Bishoph would know exactly where to find you."
GECKO: Bad guys are omniscient. That and he has spies everywhere.
CYRWAY: Rosie and Jamal hang out at Adventurewood.
She thoughtfully shook her head.
"No, they're not allowed to notice something..."
"We could talk to their vehicles, maybe they might help us..." Bumblebee proposed. Afterwards he was completely confused that Magic smiled at him, a smile bright as a searchlight.
CYRWAY: Bumblebee, you're an idiot.
"Bumblebee, you're a genius! That is the idea...!" she mentioned, enthusiastic, gesturing the others to come closer. "A-Team, I have a plan, but I need your assistance..."
GECKO: *Mr. T voice* Call 1-800-Collect for your long distance calls!
A short time later, a Bumblebee, who was shrunk to five feet, stole through the brushwood of the canyon's slope, trying to get close to the plateau's drive up. He ducked in the shadow of an overhanging rock and observed the persons on the clearing for a while.
CYRWAY: No one notice the bright yellow robot sneaking through the canyon....
His chronometer showed him that 0.4 kAsec had passed. Good - the others should be in position now.
He groped his way a bit closer to the sheriff's car, which stood a bit distant from the other. He took extreme care that no-one noticed his actions.
GECKO: Nope, no one notices...pay no attention to the bright yellow robot trying to steal the cop car....
Mag had been right, the window on the front passenger side was open. Now it was up to aiming well!
His black metal fingers
GECKO and CYRWAY: *tune of Santana's "Black Magic Woman."* "Got some black metal fingers....got some black metal fingers...
BROOKLYN: That's reaching....
strained around the blue-shimmering cassette. He lifted his arm to strike and threw... The cassette flew through the window and landed exactly on the driver's seat. Rumble transformed, trying a bit fussily not to be seen behind the instrument panel.
BROOKLYN: Look inconspicuous, pay no attention, he's just a weird looking human....
Okay - how did it work? There's the wheel, the gear, the gas pedal
GECKO and CYRWAY: "Shiftsticks and safety belts, bucket seats have all got to go...."
and somewhere had to be the ignition he had to short circuit... What was the other pedal for? Who cares...
CYRWAY: Something Arty never uses.
GECKO: Common sense?
He itched to fumble with all the other switches and buttons, but he controlled himself!
CYRWAY: *GIR voice* What's this do? What's this do? What's this do? What's this do?
Sheriff Brewbaker was ripped from his thoughts abruptly as, twenty meters away, the engine of his car started to roar.
GECKO: *deep raspy voice* Dammit, I told those idiots that Crown Vics made too much noise!
It took a few seconds before he really realized that his car was rolling away from the clearing, slowly first, than getting faster and faster.
BROOKLYN: Don't look conspicuous, don't look conspicuous....
"Just a moment..." he mentioned, gasping, and added, after his lungs had finally filled with air, bellowing: "My CAR!!!!!"
CYRWAY: Don't you mean the taxpayer's car?
He ran to the next patrol car, what was not easy because he was a bit overweight.
ALL THREE: Of course...
"Harvey, Billy-Joe, Sid! Someone is filching my car! After him!" he ordered, gasping, while he was nervously turning the ignition key. "When I get my hands on that son of a bitch!"
GECKO: *as Frenzy* You'll do what, fleshling?
Pursued by both other police cars, Rumble sped in his blue and white conquest along the narrow forest road - in reverse!
CYRWAY: "D" stands for "drive" Rumble! "D!" "D!" *grumbles* At least he's not in neutral.
GECKO: Like this fic.
An action that especially the shock absorbers really did not like. They gave up absorbing any shocks in very soon. Accidentally, the Decepticon hit the switches for siren and light, which turned the hunt even more chaotic and, most of all, louder and more colorful.
BROOKLYN: Why do the Decepticons have to turn every mission into a fiasco?
GECKO: Meanwhile, Frenzy's laughing his ass off, Bumblebee's looking mortified, and Magic realises she should be in a Mercedes Lackey story.
The radio announced:
ALL THREE: *singing* "Take me in a wheelchair, take me to the show! Hurry hurry hurry, before I go go go! I cannot feel my fingers, I cannot feel my toes! Oh, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!"
"This is sheriff Brewbaker! Stop the car at once! Do you hear me? Stop the car at once!"
ALL THREE: *The tune of "Stop that Pigeon"* "Stop that cop car! Stop that cop car! Stop that cop car, how?"
GECKO: Did you hear him? He wants the car stopped now.
Rumble grinned and stepped onto the gas pedal...
CYRWAY: Wonderful. OJ Simpson in reverse.
Obstinately, the sheriff cursed the miserable punk from now to the Stoneage and back again, which was of absolutely no practical use.
GECKO: Much like the plot of this fic.
If he could just see who was behind the wheel.
BROOKLYN: Riiiight.
But the headlights blinded him too much. Probably the gang of Sanders junior again. This time he would teach those urchins a lesson!
CYRWAY: I would have gotten him too, if it wasn't for those meddling robots!
Suddenly Rumble jerkily turned the wheel. The car rolled dangerously, broke out and finally went head over heels. Exactly in this moment the Decepticon transformed to let himself, by the inertia of his mass, catapult out the window.
ALL THREE: What mass?!
Different long, thin, elastic objects brushed past his surface before he finally dropped down in a relatively soft way, landing between the ground's excrescences.
GECKO: That could be taken so many ways.
The police car was less fortunate in its landing. It turned over two times and finally got stuck between two maple trees, all four wheels stretched towards the night sky, looking like a dung-beetle lying on its back. The siren said good-bye to its mortal existence with a last, short howl.
BROOKLYN: Boss Hog was not pleased, no.
Disconcerted, sheriff Brewbaker stood in front of the scrap heap which had been a functional police car just a few minutes ago. He was close to tears.
CYRWAY: Nothing worse than seeing a grown man cry.
GECKO: "Now how am I supposed to pick up chicks?"
"My beautiful new car..." he lamented.
CYRWAY: The poor 1975 Ford Crown Victoria....
And no trace of the kamikaze driver...
Ravage, Magic and Frenzy carefully climbed along the steep wood-path underneath the plateau. It was not easy, because the ground was loose and the rock offered few footholds. Especially Frenzy had the problem of stones loosening under his feet and rolling down the slope. And every time his own weight nearly dragged him down with them. He really had preferred to fly to Starscream's crash site. But his systems had already shut off this ability when his energon level had still been about three marks higher than at the moment.
BROOKLYN: I think I might have understood that.
They were in the dead center under the rock where the searchlight's beam could not get to, when four meters above them an engine started to roar and chaos broke out: nervous voices, cars that started up, the searchlight switched off, and the engines' sound which hastily sped away.
BROOKLYN: Going in reverse at 20MPH....
Frenzy and the young woman grinned at each other despite the darkness of the night: the distraction manoeuvre worked!
GECKO: Eh, why not.
However - the main problem was still to come. They did not know how heavily Starscream was damaged, or if he still had enough energy to transform. He had to transform or the entire plan would fail. An F-15, even if it was just six meters long, could not get past the law enforcement officers without being seen.
CYRWAY: Silly mental image....
Despite the lack of the searchlight, it was relatively bright inside the canyon.
BROOKLYN: For filming sake.
The waxing moon reached a position in which it lit up the valley perfectly.
GECKO: But still allowed the fugitives to hide in darkness.
Climbing over debris which was laying all around, the unusual group of three made their way to the jet.
Magic carefully touched the metal under the cockpit's windshield.
GECKO: *Starscream imitation* Megatron used to touch me like that...
Starscream's body temperature had sunk a bit, but he had not completely cooled off. That meant there was still a bit of energy in his systems.
"Starscream?" she whispered. "Starscream, can you hear me?"
BROOKLYN: If he could, you would be dead.
He showed no reaction.
"He's completely knocked out," Frenzy noticed, shrugging.
CYRWAY: Which is cause for celebration; you don't have to listen to him mouth off.
Ravage spat silently.
"But we have to get the our flying ace awake somehow," Magic reminded. "Starscream, wake up, please!"
GECKO: *Starscream imitation* Your kids, Arty, your problem. I'm busy dreaming of conquest.
She sighed and looked at the two other Decepticons. But those had no ideas either.
CYRWAY: Tell him Megatron's dead and he's leader. That should wake him.
"Oh, damned, you old scrap heap, wake up!" she grumbled, depressed, hitting the cockpit with her elbow.
BROOKLYN: Kick him in the gut! Harder!
The plane started to tremble slightly. The unmistakable transformation sound indicated that it was converting its shape.
CYRWAY: Null rays at the ready!
GECKO: And if she was electronic, they would cause some damage.
Frenzy grinned widely.
"Ya just have to call ol' Screamer by his right name," he remarked cheekily. "He always reacts to 'scrap heap'!"
CYRWAY: That's being too nice to him.
"What, how, where...?" Starscream stammered, confused.
ALL THREE: Who, when, how?
Like in trance, he started to walk, stumbled on the loose ground, fell down, rattling, got up again, tried another few steps, then reeled, stunned...
GECKO: Shit, Arty, what the hell did you do to him?
Magic and Frenzy looked at each other.
BROOKLYN: Starscream has obviously managed to survive another one of Ace's famous abuse scenes.
"He's totally done in..." the latter remarked.
CYRWAY: Ex-girlfriends can be even more merciless than Megatron.
Before the number two of the Decepticon hierarchy was swept off his feet a second time, the two grasped him by the shoulders to support him from both sides. Slowly they manoeuvred the reeling Cybertronian out of the valley while Ravage went to search for the other two fellow combatants.
GECKO: Shouldn't have spent all night with Skywarp and Octane on an energon binge, Screamer.
"No, Megatron, it wasn't my fault..." Starscream babbled, confused, while he was aimlessly fidgeting with his hands through the air, trying to defend himself from an imaginary fist.
BROOKLYN: Yes, it was. It always is.
"Man, the boss isn't here, Screamer!" Rumble snorted angrily. "He's starting to get me on my wires!"
GECKO: Paranoia or annoyance?
BROOKLYN: I'll tell you how this fic is getting me on my wires....
Frenzy and Ravage had already turned back to cassette mode,
CYRWAY: For no reason whatsoever.
and Rumble thought about following their example. It was really narrow in the back of the car.
GECKO: Bwee?
Due to his wings, Starscream somehow needed the entire backseat alone.
CYRWAY: The better to kick the driver's seat, my dear.
Bumblebee struck a better bargain by taking the front passenger's seat.
BROOKLYN: Now there's irony. A VW Beetle riding in a VW Beetle.
There was enough space when you limited your body size to five foot. The Autobot was filled with enthusiasm for the metallic blue convertible anyway; it was nearly similar to his own alternate form.
CYRWAY: Except for the fact that it had blinkers on the front fenders.
On the night highway, Magic overtook a few trucks which comfortably shipped their shipments from one city to the other. Tired drivers lounged behind the wheel in a bored way. If they had had a presentiment of the odd group of individuals hiding under the cover of the Beetle with the pentagram...
GECKO: "Crazy new age kids...."
"Please no... I don't want to...! Mmpf...!"
BROOKLYN *gets up to leave.*
On the spot, Rumble placed his hand on Starscream's mouth.
CYRWAY *yawns and rests her head on Gecko's shoulder.*
"If he doesn't get energon soon, I'm gonna short circuit him!"
CYRWAY starts snoring.
GECKO: *Shockwave voice* Losing...power...
"I'm about to get to the next power line so that you can make cubes," Magic stated.
GECKO: *brightly* Let's steal from the power company! *Drops his head.*
"On, man, that means we seven could finally recharge," Frenzy mentioned from inside the glove compartment.
GECKO:*nudges Cyrway.* Come on, Ace, wake up. It's no fun heckling alone.
Magic was puzzled.
BROOKLYN: *off screen* When is that news?
"Seven?" she asked. "I see only five: one Autobot and four Decepticons..."
GECKO: And who cares about the Autobot?
The cassette giggled.
DAVIS: *takes Brooklyn's seat.* "Giggled?"
GECKO: Where did Brooklyn go?
DAVIS shrugs.
"Hey, Bumblebee, show the energon mouse what I mean!"
Bumblebee got two further cassettes out of his chest compartment.
DAVIS: Why didn't they kill Bumblebee yet?
GECKO: They're low on power.
DAVIS: That doesn't explain why they haven't siphoned his energy.
GECKO: I think it's a SNAD thing.
DAVIS: What about Ace? *Pokes Cyrway.*
GECKO: She's low on power too.
"Laserbeak and Buzzaw!" Magic noticed by the color. "What happened to them?"
GECKO: They died of boredom.
DAVIS: Is this fic sort of like the 1962 German version of Hamlet?
GECKO: Where even the MiST couldn't even save it? *Shrugs, and Cyrway falls off his shoulder and onto the ground with a thud.* Sure seems it.
"Security shut-down - no more energy," Rumble answered, still despairingly trying to calm Starscream down.
DAVIS: Newsflash! It's a lost cause.
"Why couldn't that just happen to him? At least, he could turn to regeneration mode!"
GECKO: Because we have shit luck being stuck in a fangirl fic.
"And why do you have them?" Magic asked while changing lanes to pass by another semi. "You're an Autobot..."
DAVIS: And they finally realise this.
GECKO: We need a third. *nudges Cyrway with his foot; in a Strong Bad imitation.* She looks burnt...or dead...
"Hey, the yellow-one is okay! 'n' for the moment we play in the same team anyway,"