Trichess part 7
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GECKO: What in the name of Combat Hero Optimus Prime....?
TASUKI: *leaps over Cyrway's seat and looks down.* What happened to her?
DAVIS: Died of boredom.
TASUKI: Ohhhhhh...
came from inside the glove compartment. "And he is the only one of us having loading capacity."
GECKO: That's what Spike said.
"Yeah! If Bumblebee was not a Bot, he'd be a nice Con," Rumble added his comment. "If he hadn't grabbed me, the rotor would have turned me into smithereens."
TASUKI: When did this happen?
GECKO: It didn't.
DAVIS: It probably did while we weren't watching.
GECKO: I've been here all freaking night!
So, Magic slowly learned the story of their flight.
TASUKI: As well as us, it seems.
Bishoph's base was situated inside the mountains. It was a subterranian complex that had at minimum twelve levels. To supply those levels with enough oxygen, they used large, highly efficient fans to pump fresh air from outside into the station. During their flight through the ventilation shafts, Rumble had gotten into the suction of such a ventilator. Only Bumblebee's quick reaction had prevented him from being shredded.
ALL THREE: Of course....
The metallic blue Beetle now left the highway, drove along a smaller country road, and finally turned into a very rough lane. Shortly afterward there was not even a lane anymore, only a field.
GECKO: Now is not the time to go mudding. Especially in a VW Beetle.
DAVIS: There goes what little shocks she had left.
"Oh, girl, I wish you were a Jeep," Magic sighed, the steering fighting despairingly against clods and soft ground.
GECKO: So much for her blue book value.
Still thirty meters to go until they would reach the power line.
TASUKI: Seems a bit out of the way for a light snack.
"Is she alive?" Bumblebee asked, curious.
GECKO: Cyrway thinks so.
"Actually not. She's just a vehicle,"
CYRWAY: *wakes up.* Infidel! She's not just a vehicle if you give her a name! *falls back onto the ground.*
the driver answered. "Nevertheless I use to talk to her..."
After this rough voyage she knew every one of her vertebrae by its first name...
DAVIS: *falsetto* This is Bob...and this one here's Mike...and here's Trish!
The next day, sheriff Jonathan Brewbaker was in the worst mood the county could remember. Not only that his new patrol car was a complete damage. Not only had the plane had disappeared and the rain that started with dawn breaking wiped out every trace. No, for the time of the crime, the entire Sanders gang had alibis that were airtight. And the worst thing of all was: his housekeeper surprised him with carrot hodgepodge for dinner!
TASUKI: And the point of this was...?
*INTERLUDE 8*
A blank screen, until a white script appears, reading "And now, for something completely different..."
BROOKLYN: *voice over* And now, for something completely different... *The screen fades, and shows Brooklyn in a sort of library, sitting in a large easy chair with one leg crossed over his leg, a glass of wine next to him.* We will explore a new segment of this quality programming, now known as "Where are they now?" Our first exploration into this question will cover the World Wrestling Federation, now World Wrestling Entertainment, superstar Gangrel. *A screen apears over Brooklyn's left shoulder, showing a still of Gangrel entering the ring, theater blood drenching his white shirt.* As you may or may not already know, Gangrel's rather timeless gimmick was portraying a vampire-type character, and even taking the name of one of the Vampire clans from the White Wolf roleplaying game. However, controversy grew. After all, Gangrel did live up to his name, not one bit. For starters, his style of dress did not carry over from the Gangrel clan. The Victorian tunic and breeches were more styled for a Toredor, a Brujah goth, or a primogen Tremere. Shouldn't the Gangrel get the recognition they deserve? After all, other clans of the Camarilla were recognized, such as the Malkavians-- *the screen behind Brooklyn changes a split screen of Al Snow and Mick Foley as Mankind* --the Venture-- *the screen changes again, this time to Vince McMahon* --the Brujah-- *the screen changes yet again, this time to Mosh and Thrasher* --and of course, the Nosferatu. *The screen changes yet again, this time to Stephanie McMahon in the middle of a temper tantrum. After a slight pause, the screen returns to Gangrel.* Due to this, Gangrel's popularity declined, and the former WWF writers decided to give Gangrel some lackeys--erm, ghouls--in the form of Edge and Christian. *The screen changes yet again, showing Edge and Christian in their introductory costumes, looking all goth and brooding.* Ah, the old days, when those two were quiet. But I digress. After countless and ofttimes unsuccessful confrontations with their rivals, Farooq and Bradshaw, *the screen changes to the Acolytes in their former, more demonic ring wear* the Acolytes of the Undertaker, *screen changes again, to the Undertaker circa early 1990's, wearing the trenchcoat and hat* the company formally known as the World Wrestling Federation underwent some serious changes in their writing staff, thus totally taking out the gothic undertones. And thus, Edge and Christian went on to being their loud-mouth braggart selves, Farooq and Bradshaw became known as the APA, exchanging their body paint and satanic rituals for beer and poker, and the Undertaker went through a mid-life crisis, got a motorcycle and became the American Badass. Fortunately, for us White Wolf fanatics, Gangrel was shoved out of the spotlight and into the street, never to be seen again. *The screen changes again, back to Gangrel.* However, it is my speculation that Gangrel didn't totally leave the former WWF; instead, inside sources state that he went on the Subway diet and came back as a totally new wrestler with a new gimmick--*the screen changes to Spike Dudley. Brooklyn pauses.* One tough little bastard, Spike Dudley. *The screen disappears, and the camera focuses back in on Brooklyn.* That's all the time we have for "Where are they now?" Next time, we will explore the superhero complex in today's world. I am your host, Brooklyn, and this has been a Party Krashers, Inc. Production. We shall see you again, but for now--
LUACH, a scrawny tan gargoyle with a beak similar to Brooklyn's, jumps out, wearing only a pair of jeans, a pair of sunglasses and a chainmail coif, jumps out, flexing his arms.
LUACH: Holla if ya hear me! *Starts posing a la Scott Steiner.*
BROOKLYN: *looks at first mortified, then simply hides his face.* Luc, we're still on the air.
11.
DAVIS: *whines* Are we there yet?
GECKO: Two more chapters...two more chapters...
They met in the living room to discuss the state of affairs.
GECKO: "Okay, folks, we need to figure out why we haven't killed the Autobot yet...."
Rumble occupied the couch, lounging in the unfamiliarly soft cushions. His brother slouched lengthwise over an easy chair.
TASUKI: *shifts in his seat.* Lucky them.
Ravage had laid his head on Magic's knees to be rubbed gently behind his acoustic sensors. From time to time, a pleasant growl came up from his throat.
DAVIS: It only means he's rabid.
Bumblebee sat cross-legged on the floor, looking fascinated at the furnishings.
GECKO: *Bumblebee voice* "I can't believe I haven't been killed yet."
Only Starscream preferred to stand. Slouching against the door frame, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his face showed a sour expression, as if he had not swallowed energon but battery acid.
DAVIS: The only person still in character.
The damages to his wings and rudder were already about to regenerate, but his chin was still aching from the knock out punch he got from Rumble when they were on the field.
GECKO: I sense another flashback coming...
DAVIS: I've been here for five minutes and there's been no fighting. *Gets up and leaves.* See ya!
TASUKI: *to Gecko* How did you manage to survive this long?
GECKO: It's a wonder even to me.
Who did this little tin punk think he is?
GECKO: It's Rumble! The coolest of all Decepticons!
GOURRY: *takes Davis's seat.* What did I miss?
TASUKI: From what I gathered, not much.
He used the fact that they momentarily were the same size very impudently!
GECKO: You mean resourcefully.
First there was just a strange crunch coming out of the dining-room next to the living room.
TASUKI: The plot has caved in.
Then there was a hellishly loud outburst:
GECKO: "I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY!!!"
the table had collapsed from the weight of Laserbeak and Bussaw.
GOURRY: Oh my...I hope they weren't hurt.
TASUKI facefaults.
It had been able to manage that a great monster dane had turned it upside down, trying to crawl under the braces between the legs, and that it had been drooled all over afterwards. But these two flying robot monsters... that was too much for the good furniture! It had quit its job forever.
GOURRY: Does that mean it won't get unemployment?
TASUKI facefaults again.
"I'm gonna get a cast iron dining-table," Magic sighed laconically.
She rubbed her reddened eyes. Inside her head,
GECKO: She wondered if she would ever finish this fanfiction....
it hammered hellishly - she was tired, exhausted, and could really not think clearly anymore.
TASUKI: I was beginning to get that impression.
GECKO: You haven't been here since page one.
But she had to go on!
GOURRY: Yes, you must! Never give up!
GECKO: Guorry, sit down before you hurt yourself.
In the moment, the situation seemed to get stuck once again.
GECKO: Much like this fanfiction.
GOURRY: Hey! That's not nice!
They were only eight and without any usable plan to get the rest of the Transformers out of Bishoph's prison.
GECKO: Typical Decepticon predicament, yes...
Every attempt by the present group to propose something productive failed.
TASUKI: After getting to know Starscream, I can see why.
GECKO: That and the fact there's an Autobot in their midst.
The ideas either would have endangered the prisoners or had simply not been practical.
GOURRY: Why not just ask nicely?
GECKO: Why doesn't Shane McMahon take over Raw while we're at it?
Starscream did not take part in the discussion anyway.
GECKO: Thank god for small favours.
He stood at the kitchen door,
TASUKI: *singing* "So take your boots off in the corner, and hang your jacket by the door!" *an anvil falls on him.*
was insulted,
GOURRY: Well, clearly if someone here was nicer to him... *Looks at Gecko, who looks back and blinks.*
and acted if all this was not his business.
GECKO: And now the mischaracterization starts.
At present, no-one had anything to say.
GOURRY: This looks like a job for "Pictionary!"
The conversation had reached a deadlock.
GECKO: Like this fic.
They had run out of ideas and new thoughts did not put in.
GECKO: I'm seeing a parallel here.
Bumblebee rubbed his chin.
TASUKI: "Must shave soon...."
Maybe they should change the topic for a while to get their processors clear again.
GECKO: "So Rumble, have you seen any good movies lately?"
He had many questions about the things around him anyway.
GOURRY: Like, why is his name Bumblebee when he's a Volkswagen Beetle?
TASUKI: Abandoning my post, sir! *Jumps out of his seat, walks over Cyrway, and leaves.*
GECKO: That's the third one in the past fifteen minutes. *Tsk-tsks and shakes his head.*
So he asked the unexpected:
GECKO: "Am I cuter than Carly?"
GIR: *drops from the ceiling and lands in the seat between them.*
"Who are the two Earthians on the two-dimensional reality image over there?"
GIR: *squeals happily*
GECKO: Okay, now things will get interesting...
GOURRY: You mean with the fic?
GECKO: *looks at GIR.* We can only hope.
GIR: *holds out a Hoyts cup.* I got Moxie mixed with Vanilla Coke and Pepsi Twist! Want?
Magic looked around, slightly confused.
GECKO: You're not the only one, sweetheart!
GOURRY: *scratches his head.* Isn't she supposed to be the author?
He pointed to a photo that stood on the cupboard.
GIR: *jumps on Cyrway.* Look! I'm a photo standing on a cupboard!
"Oh... the photograph... These are my parents."
GECKO: They were killed by a pack of rabid sharkticons when I was a baby.
"Parents?"
GOURRY: You know, I don't think robots have parents...
GIR: *screams and runs around the theatre, then sits back down in the middle seat.* Toasters!
"Father and mother," Magic explained, remembering that these terms existed in the Cybertronian language.
GECKO: *singing* "Not about to see the light! And if you wanna find hell with me, I can show you what it's like! Read this fanfic!"
"Ah, your creators!"
GOURRY: No, your parents. *Makes a little "duh" sound.*
GIR: That would mean the Tallest are my parents! WHEEEEE!!!
"Something similar..."
"Are they some kind of a couple?"
GECKO: One night fling, nothing more.
GOURRY: *sniffs* that's so sad....
GECKO: You didn't take me seriously, did you? *Nudges Cyrway again.* Amy Katherine Cyrway, wake up now!
CYRWAY: *in her sleep* But mom, I don't wanna go to school today...
GIR: *bounces up and down in his seat.*
Bumblebee asked further while he was taking a closer look at the picture. "I mean, if your species bind in couples anyway.
GECKO: "You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!"
You have male and female specimens somehow..."
GECKO: Okay, now we get into the kinky stuff. *Opens up GIR's head and pulls out a bag of popcorn.*
GIR: *giggles* That tickles!
Magic started to laugh.
GOURRY: Aw, that's so cute! I like it when everyone gets along!
GECKO: *strained* Gourry, we're on page 269 of this MiST and the only fighting so far has been me and Brooklyn!
GOURRY: And that's a bad thing....?
GIR: I'm gonna sing the Doom Song now!
"Certainly we bind in couples, Bumblebee. In this point, Terrestrials and Cybertronians are very alike," she answered.
GECKO: Only difference being that our females are a little more varied. *Kicks Cyrway.* Wake up, dammit!
GIR: Me and Zim are a couple!
GECKO: No you're not. Zim's a megalomanic twit and you're his trash disposal.
GIR: I wanna go ride Pig now! *Runs around in circles*
"We can also fall in love."
GOURRY: That's so beautiful! *Cries happily.*
GECKO: Even with the bad guys?
GOURRY: Overcoming adversity for love! *Cries more.*
GECKO: So if Amelia and Xellos got it on, you'd like that?
GOURRY: Got it on what?
GECKO: I give up on you.
CYRWAY: *mumbled* Amelia and Zelgadis forever! *Resumes snoring*
"Sounds like the lady speaks outta experience," Rumble grinned,
GECKO: It's not experience...it's an obsessive infatuation with a bad guy.
filching one of his brother's cushions in order to make the couch even a touch more comfortable.
"Hey!" Frenzy protested loudly and angled the cushion back against the suddenly initialised resistance.
GECKO: Fight! Fight! YAY!!! *Cheers them on.*
GIR: YAY!!! *Dances in a frenzy.*
"If you knew how right you are, Rumble," Magic thought.
GOURRY: Yeah, I know how that is, keeping feelings for another secret...Gecko, could you pass the popcorn, please?
GIR: I love you, Magic! *Runs up and kisses the screen.*
Her cheeks had turned slightly reddish. Her ears even were deep-red, which fortunately could not been seen thanks to her hair.
"Did I say something wrong?" Bumblebee asked worried. "Was the topic too private?"
GECKO: It was too much information even for us.
GIR starts humming the Invader Zim theme loudly.
Magic was taken aback.
GOURRY: Where was she taken?
"What gives you that idea?"
GECKO: Are you sure you're not naturally blonde?
GOURRY: I am!
GECKO: *Deadpan* I know, I know.
"Well, your face color has changed..."
GECKO: And the fact that this entire fanfiction has been about you pining over Megatron. *Drops his voice* Yesss....
"Don't worry... I'm not angry..." Embarrassed as she was, Magic blushed even more. "I... I just thought of someone special..."
GIR: I'm thinking of Gaz right now! *Looks to Gecko.* Does she have eyes? I think she has eyes. Does she have eyes?
Then she added silently, "The only one who - besides my sister - knows my complete name..."
GOURRY: I bet it's Magret!
GECKO: If you only knew....
GIR: I think it's Waffles!
GECKO: No, that's the cat from Goof Troop.
"Ha! Frenzy! Didn't I say, the lady's experienced!"
GECKO: Meanwhile, Starscream has wandered off to find something to kill.
GOURRY: But that's not nice!
GECKO: Gourry, how many times has he tried to kill you?
GUORRY: But those were just accidents!
"Brother dear! Shuttup or dents!"
The conversation was interrupted by very biting laughter.
GECKO: And the hero emerges from the flames. *Nudges Cyrway.* Starscream's having his crowning moment, dear.
CYRWAY: *jumps up and sits in Gourry's lap.* It's about time! *Looks at Gourry.* Hi, cutie!
GIR: Master, you live!
"What a poor crowd you are! The five most inferior idiots the Decepticon army has ever recruited, a ridiculous heap of an Autobot and a petty Earth worm!"
CYRWAY: *cheers loudly, and starts singing in her Starscream voice.* "Some people say that I'm a bad guy, they may be right, they may be right!"
GECKO: *joins in* "But it's not as if I don't try, I just screw up, try as I might!"
Starscream's non-existent tongue was pointed as always.
GECKO: Arty likes that, doesn't she?
GIR: He's not very nice! *Giggles insanely*
"You're sitting here, discussing the emotional life of a minor species.
ALL FOUR: "But I can change, I can change! I can learn to keep my promises I swear it! I'll open up my heart and I will share it!"
I thought you great heroes wanted to free your friends...? Ridiculous!"
CYRWAY: What do you care? You have no friends, flyboy! You have no need for them!
He started pacing up and down the room.
"What am I doing here anyway?"
GECKO: We were wondering the same thing....
GOURRY: Free food?
GIR: I love free food!
"Well, what's doing the ol' Screamer here anyway?" Frenzy aped Starscream's speech-melody.
GECKO: If Arty ain't screwing him, she's screwing him over.
"I hoped you would assist us in the project to free the Transformers," Magic friendly answered.
CYRWAY: *scoffs* The Air Commander needs no assistance from you!
GECKO: At that moment, Buzzsaw and Laserbeak are pecking away at his head.
"I...? Assist you...?" A sarcastic smile was on the Decepticon's lips. "What were you thinking of, my dear? For all I care, they all could turn to rust inside Bishoph's nice little fortress. And the best is you'd join them and would do the same... That's all right with me..."
CYRWAY: YES!!! You're not going to put up for this fangirl slop, are you, Screamer?
GOURRY: *to Gecko* how many times has Starscream tried to kill Ace?
GECKO: More times than he's tried to kill you, that's for sure.
GIR: He stepped on me today! *Grins widely*
"Be glad Megatron can't hear ya," Rumble remarked, while stretching comfortably on his couch.
"He'd disassemble ya for that."
GECKO: Actually, he would shoot him, then tell him not to do it again.
"Megatron?" Starscream asked as sweet as sugar. "Who's Megatron?
CYRWAY: The guy whom you want to kill and take his job.
GOURRY: Duh.
Meanwhile he's probably nothing more than a shrunken has-been, waiting to be dismantled! His time is over and mine has begun!"
He burst out laughing madly.
ALL FOUR join in with the cackling.
CYRWAY: *sighs dreamily* My hero....
Magic felt how the energon in Megatron's systems heated up.
This traitor! And I... I...
... worry about him...
GECKO: Worry about what? Someone else going to ace him first?
"And now, I'll tell you what I am going to do," Starscream continued. "I'm going to fly back to Decepticon headquarters, going to find a way regain my old size, going to arm myself and... then this planet is going to see who's its future ruler!"
CYRWAY: Go flyboy! *She and GIR cheer.*
GOURRY: Wait, that's not a good thing...
GECKO: It is if you're a Starscream fangirl.
CYRWAY: *coldcocks Gecko.* I am not a fangirl!
This said, he rushed out the door.
GECKO: We now return this fic to its regularly SNAD status.
Silence -
GIR: *moos like a cow.*
Then Rumble mentioned with a grin: "He's gonna be back...!"
GOURRY: He forgot his keys.
And indeed, just a few seconds later Starscream dragged the living room's door open, his optics glowing in anger.
CYRWAY: He has no idea how to get back to base.
Rumbles grin got even wider.
GECKO: Arty's out there waiting for you, isn't she?
"What's up, Screamer?" he asked innocently.
Starscream clenched his fists, trembling in rage.
GIR: *singsong voice* He's going to explode...! *Squeals excitedly*
"You...! You...!" he screeched hysterically and rushed out of the room again.
GOURRY: Him? Him?
GECKO: "Him! Whoa, what do you do about him...?"
According to the noises that came out of the winter garden afterwards, two large terra cotta pots became victims of his bad mood.
GECKO: As he smashed them over the heads of onlooking neighbours.
Fortunately the windows were not breakable...
CYRWAY: Bulletproof glass in a residential house?
All inhabitants of the living room looked at Rumble, taken aback. The Decepticon held up two thin cylinders of a finger's length. One was red, the other green and orange.
GECKO: Rumble, you drug dealing pimp!
"The control for anti-grav flight..."He lifted the red-one a bit higher. "...and the transformation control..." This time he lifted the green and orange object higher. "Or was it the other way round...? I removed them when he was knocked out."
GIR: I wonder what they taste like...?
Magic stood up.
GOURRY: That wasn't nice, Rumble!
"I'm going to talk to Starscream," she said.
CYRWAY: Famous last words.
GIR: *screams and runs around some more, then offers Cyrway a sip of his soda.* It's Moxie, Vanilla Coke, and Pepsi Twist!
"Mag, don't make a mistake!" Frenzy warned.
GECKO and CYRWAY: Too late!
GOURRY: Huh?
"This guy's chips' cracked even more than mine... At least take Ravage with ya!"
GECKO: Ravage, nothing. She needs Trypticon!
CYRWAY: Unfortunately, Octane had taken him out for walkies, so Ravage would have to do.
Hearing these words the jaguar stood beside his new friend right away, but she refused.
GIR: I pet the kitty! *Pantomimes patting Ravage.*
"I'm going to talk to him... alone!"
GOURRY: *nervous* Is that really a wise idea?
GECKO: On the plus side, if he kills her, that will be the end of the fic. *Looks to Cyrway.* Right?
she repeated. "Rumble, hand me the two parts."
GECKO: Here's his nuts and bolt...
GIR: *still petting Ravage.* I'm gonna ride the kitty now!
She showed the open hand to the Decepticon.
GECKO: I see a very short life line...
"Why? Should he conquer the planet by foot..!" Rumble lazily warned off, stuffing a further cushion under his head.
CYRWAY: That's what we want....
GOURRY: It is?
GECKO: Starscream fangirl, remember?
CYRWAY: *punches Gecko again.*
Magic slowly turned in his direction, looked him with slightly pinched eyes into his optics,
GOURRY: *winces* That's got to hurt.
GIR: I can pinch my eyes! *Does so with a squishy sound.* See? No, wait...I can't! *Screams more*
and said nothing more than: "Rumble!", whereby she stressed the entire word harshly by a peculiarly pressed sound after the last syllable.
GECKO: You wanna hear something funny? Listen to the way Ace says "Stahscrreem."
The Transformer stopped what he was doing, stared at the young woman with his mouth open, and handled her - as if hypnotized - the desired items.
GOURRY: She's a hypnotist?
GECKO: A hypnotist of ladies....
GIR: *stares at Magic as though hypnotised.*
"Thanks," Magic said before she left the room.
"Man, brother dear, you looked as if the boss was browbeating you," Frenzy remarked, amused.
Should Rumble tell him that he had felt exactly like this in that moment...?
GECKO: Rumble, you sick bastard! She's human!
Starscream sat between the potshards of the large flower-pot inside the dark winter-garden. His knees dragged up to his chin, he angrily tried to stare holes into the wall, although it was absolutely not responsible for his discontent. He looked like an obstinate young boy whose trial to gain respect in the adult world had failed.
CYRWAY: *stands up to pantomime patting Starscream on the shoulder.*
"Starscream?" Magic asked calmly.
GECKO: Be evil, Starscream!
"Get away, fleshling!" the Decepticon hissed at her.
GECKO: That's it!
"I want to give you something that belongs to you," she continued unimpressed,
CYRWAY: At that moment, Megatron makes her backhand him.
handing him the two parts. He slowly stood up.
"What does this mean?" Starscream wasn't sure if he should be surprised or distrustful.
CYRWAY: It means she's trusting you. Now, when she turns around, shoot her in the back.
"In my house, no-one shall be forced to do something he doesn't want to do," Magic answered.
GECKO: And yet we're being forced to review this fic.
GOURRY: I like it!
GIR: I wanna play with Ravage again!
"You can go."
CYRWAY: *Starscream voice* Pathetic fool! So long! *Laughs maniacally*
"On what conditions?" Hasty, Starscream grasped his property as if the parts would disappear again right before his optics.
"No conditions," the young woman remarked. "Only a question..."
GECKO: Do you enjoy being part of a SNAD fanfiction?
"And which?"
CYRWAY: Was there more to you and Skyfire than just "best friends?"
GECKO: You see, Ace, THAT'S what makes you a fangirl!
CYRWAY punches him.
GIR: I'm a fangirl! Fangirl fangirl fangirl!
"Why do you hate Megatron this much?"
GECKO and CYRWAY: BECAUSE HE IS A FOOL!
GOURRY: But that's not nice!
CYRWAY: Gourry, dear, Megatron is a bad guy. He's not nice.
GECKO: And Starscream is?
"What do you need to know? You won't have the doubtful pleasure to meet the mighty lord of the Decepticons!"
GECKO: *snorts*
Magic did not answer. She stood there, patiently, watching Starscream completing his technology,
GECKO: Should we be watching this?
CYRWAY: Oh, yeah, baby! *Waves a twenty-dollar bill in the air.*
prepared to listen.
"All right!" the Transformer finally said, sulky. "If you are so interested in it, fleshling: Megatron is an arrogant, stubborn heap of scrap, that's why! There is nothing magnificent about him, even though such idiots like Rumble - I don't know why - admire him!"
GECKO: Not to mention Megatron is a brutish idiot.
GIR: I like pie!
GOURRY: I do too!
He kicked a larger potshard into the next corner.
"His ingenious actions... Others do the work and he gains the glory! If he makes a mistake the others are blamed for it! The infallible Megatron!"
CYRWAY: You're absolutely right! Now why are you bothering with this flesh creature?
There was much bitterness in the way he said it. Of course, Magic noticed that Starscream meant himself when he mentioned 'the others'.
CYRWAY: Of course he did.
The Decepticon started pacing up and down in the darkness.
GECKO: What's he pacing? Stairs?
"All his magnificent plans to conquer the universe! Hah...! A giant flop, because he couldn't manage the Autobots in any way!"
CYRWAY: Yeah, that would be the most logical reason...
GOURRY: Wait...Megatron is a bad guy?
CYRWAY and GECKO facefault.
GIR: No. Wait a minute...yes.
Magic listened patiently. Suddenly Starscream's voice turned more soft, she could feel a slight hesitation in his words. His pacing slowed down, too.
GECKO: Here's where it may get iffy, folks.
CYRWAY: When he uses his dead serious voice...it makes or breaks a fic.
"Yes... I admit, I did admire him in the past, how he was able to fill the masses with enthusiasm, how they unconditionally followed him. How he managed to lead the Decepticons out of their life in the underground and to give them the dominion over Cybertron. Yes.... In these days, all I wanted was to fight by his side, wanted to be like him, strong, powerful, fearless - without any weakness..."
Starscream stopped, looking through the large windows at the clouded night sky.
GECKO: "Why am I here, and not on some Primus-forsaken bar with my brothers getting plastered?"
"I always tried to give my very best. I became better than all the others, to please him, but he simply ignored it!" He hit the window-ledge with the fist so that another flower-pot fell down and cracked.
GECKO: Spurned lover, it seems. Totally understandable.
GOURRY: But they're both guys!
CYRWAY: That never stopped Wayward Martian!
GECKO: *hushed to Cyrway* I don't think we should tell him about the Gourry/Zelgadis shonnen ai fics, should we?
"But woe to me, I made a mistake! I became the laughing-stock of the entire company at once! Starscream the eternal failure, the one who never does anything right! But... why am I telling that all to you...?"
CYRWAY: Plot reasons. Kill her and leave.
GOURRY: But that's not nice!
Yes, why did he tell that all to this petty Earth worm?
CYRWAY: Now, begin grovelling! I'll just stand here and watch.
GIR: Master, shall I release the pigs? *Glomps Cyrway.*
He had never talked to anyone about it. Maybe it was because she was the first who was interested in it, because she was the first who listened to him anyway...?
GECKO: Purely plot related, go ahead and kill her.
She stood there, illuminated slightly by a bit light that came from the kitchen, and looked at him with her strange eyes that were so completely different from those of the Transformers.
GOURRY: Well, duh, she's human!
They were understanding eyes that looked fearlessly and openly at him. Eyes which could see more than the obvious.
CYRWAY: Eyes that didn't realise that even human sized, these dudes could crush her skull with their bare hands.
"And now you want to prove to him and yourself that you are not a failure," she simply said.
GECKO: Well, shit yeah!
GIR: *cheers*
"I don't have to prove anything to anyone!" he contradicted obstinately.
CYRWAY and GECKO cheer with GIR.
GOURRY: I don't get it.
"Exactly," Magic confirmed. "You've proved already that you aren't a failure. Someone like this, Megatron would never have made his aid-de-champ.
BROOKLYN: *offscreen.* Aide-de-camp, dammit!
Someone like this would never have been allowed to presume what you can presume. I think..." A slight smile was on her lips. "...the lord of the Decepticons isn't comfortable in admitting how proud he is of you..."
GECKO: He's afraid that may make him look gay or something.
CYRWAY: Like Cyclonus and Galvatron.
Starscream was a bit surprised, wanting to reply something but not knowing what. So he simply watched her open the back door. A soft breeze blew in the scent of moss on wet bark.
"Farewell, Starscream," Magic said. "And if you need a friend after all, you can find me here..."
CYRWAY: *dryly.* I see where this is going. I sleep now. *Falls off Gourry's lap onto the floor and continues snoring.*
Having said so, she turned to go as she heard a qiuet, "Wait... Mag..." behind her. She turned around. The Decepticon stood as a black silhouette in the door. The red optics shone, inquiring.
GECKO: And he shoots her. The end.
GOURRY: No, I think he's going to be good!
GIR: YAY!!!
GECKO: That's bad, GIR.
GIR: YAY!!!
"Why all of that? Why do you take all that risk?"
GECKO: Fangirls do that. It's their nature.
"This is the she-wolf's nature," she answered, shrugging. "Protecting her pack no matter the cost."
GOURRY: *awed* Wow....deep....
With those words she turned away, picking up a box of cookies from the top of the fridge and disappeared in the living room.
GECKO: Now is not the time to think about food!
GIR: Chips Ahoy!
Starscream stood in the open door. A few minutes ago, he had exactly known what he had wanted to do. But now he was in doubt if his decision was right.
GECKO: *continues with "I Can Change"* I'll open up my heart and I will share it...any minute now I will be born again!"
GOURRY: I didn't think Transformers were born...
GECKO: *deadpan* You obviously haven't seen the Generation 2 comics.
This female confused him:
GECKO: You're not the only one.
GIR: Cookies! *bounces*
the patience she had to listen, the way she listened, the way she saw the facts, her entire personality...
GECKO: And soon, Starscream found himself unable to resist the SNADdom taking over him...it was the Minicons, I tell you. They were too cute for him to resist.
GIR: SNAD!!! *giggles*
He made a step back into the winter-garden, stopped, looked outside where the cover of clouds ripped open to show free sight to the stars. Finally he left the house, his head lowered.
GECKO: And Arty jumps him and proceeds to beat the living slag out of him.
GOURRY: Okay, I know for a fact that Arty's an Autobot! She would be too nice to beat up on someone like that!
GECKO: *stares at Gourry.* Lina keeps your brain in a mason jar, doesn't she?
The wind had increased in power.
GECKO: You're doing the right thing, Starscream.
He pushed himself off the ground, darting up into the air, his element. His anti-grav engine took him higher and higher. Here above, where the air was thin and cold, he finally transformed, and with thundering turbines he thrust into the clouds.
GOURRY: Majestic. *Sniffs.*
GECKO: *Strong Bad* Consummate! You wouldn't know majestic if it bit you in the face!
"Hey, Frenzy, look at this! Soundwave as Action Master..."
GECKO: He does splits!
GIR: Banana?
Since they had entered the computer room, Rumble had been digging through Magic's Transformers collection.
"Shuttup, I'm reading!" his brother, who had already started issue five of the comic series, answered.
GECKO: No! Don't read the Budiansky stories! They don't start getting good until Furman starts writing!
They had decided to transfer the base of operation up to here, shortly after Magic had managed to explain to Bumblebee that her species did not eat chocolate cookies with ketchup.
GECKO: Unless you were pregnant.
GOURRY: *looks up as he was in the process of squirting ketchup on his cookies.* Huh?
She decided to ignore that persons who were called Alex constituted an exception. The latter also ate microwaved gummy bears with mustard on salty crackers...
GIR: Good stuff! YAY!!!
"Okay, if we scanned the area of Bishoph's base with a Skyspy how much information would it be able to transmit to us?" Magic asked while searching through the telephone network to find a usable satellite access again.
GECKO: Okay, even I know that you can't access satellite uplinks via telephone network! *Looks down at Cyrway.* Well, I suppose if our residential nitpicker is out of commission, someone has to do it.
GOURRY: What's a satellite?
GIR: It's a little lightbulb that blinks!
Of course, the connection to the Decepticon headquarters was - well hidden as it was - still stable. But this time she tried to get access to Teletran 1.
GECKO: Little does she know, she accesses AI-chan.
"The Skyspy should be able to scan down about five floors. Under normal circumstances..."
GOURRY: These are normal circumstances?
Bumblebee answered. "Who knows what Bishoph's bunker is built of. But we also have a completely different problem..."
GECKO: The fact that none of this is scientifically possible?
GOURRY: *blinks* What's science have to do with this?
GIR: I'm magic! *Starts dancing*
"And which one?" Magic wanted to know.
The keyboard's buttons silently rattled under her fingers.
GECKO: "Silently rattled?"
Bumblebee explained: "In state of emergency, Teletran will only set information free if Optimus Prime entered the system with his personal access code..."
GECKO: And by the logic already introduced in this fic, the access code is "Elita-One."
"And? Do you know it?" the young woman asked without looking up.
GOURRY: *on the edge of his seat, biting his nails.* Please say yes, please say yes...
No answer -
Now she looked at the Autobot. He looked like a puppy-dog that was found with a stolen sausage in its mouth.
GIR: I smell BACON!
"And what is it...?" Magic grinned.
"That is not the problem," Bumblebee replied.
GECKO: The problem is Teletran 1 is smarter than the Decepticon computer.
"Within 0.1 kAsec there had also to follow a special personal code that I don't know..."
"However, we're gonna try it!" his conversational partner decided. "Rumble, you gonna hold that wire there!"
"Huh? What for?" the Decepticon asked, puzzled, but did as ordered.
GECKO: Just because she wants you to.
"It's the telephone wire," Magic replied. "If something goes wrong you must disconnect it. If I use the wrong code I want to prevent myself from needing a completely new computer..."
GECKO: Why she didn't think about that in the beginning with Bishoph and the Decepticon computer...
GOURRY: I take it we missed a part of the fic...?
GIR: Phone tag!
"You really wanna try it?" Bumblebee was taken aback. "It could be anything.
ALL THREE: Elita!
Maybe even an entire sentence.
GECKO: Elita-One has lesbian encounters with the other femmebots!
I don't have any idea!"
"But I have an idea..." Magic remarked, biting her lower lip. "Keep your fingers crossed...!"
GOURRY crosses his fingers, whimpering "Oh please, oh please, oh please..."
Her fingers danced over the keyboard. Within the last few days she had gained more computer knowledge than during the entire last year.
GECKO: Convenient plot devise.
GIR: What's that do? What's that do? What's that do! *Screams happily as he pantomimes punching buttons.*
The wall of the neighbor's house shone red-golden in the light of the first sun rays.
GOURRY: Ooooooohhhh...I wonder if Starscream's watching this, contemplating existence.
GIR: I'm gonna sing the Doom Song again!
"Okay - I got a connection, children," Magic said suddenly. "Now I need the access code, Bumblebee!"
GECKO: Cybertronian Bad Ass.
The addressee gave her a combination of figures and letters. Teletran accepted. But now came the real difficulty...
"No risk, no fun... " Magic murmured, pinching her eyes.
GIR pinches his eyes again.
Bumblebee crossed his fingers.
GOURRY: *even more strained* Oh please, oh please, oh please....
She administered: "ELITA ONE"
GECKO: See? What did I tell you! It's ALWAYS the girlfriend!
"Huh?" Bumblebee exclaimed.
"ACCESS CONFIRMED!" Teletran 1 reported.
Bumblebee stared at the screen, mouth open.
GOURRY: *scratches his head.* If it was so easy....
"How...?" he started.
Magic grinned.
"Call it women's intuition..."
GECKO: That and we watched "The Search for Alpha Trion" a zillion times. Mostly plastered, but a zillion times, nonetheless.
Shortly afterwards a probe swept out of a side crater of the Mount St. Hilary. Twenty-five minutes later it started to transmit first data.
GOURRY: Ooohh! New season of Big Brother!
At last, the dot matrix printer's screeching noise stopped.
GECKO: How totally '80s.
"That was the last level the Skyspy could scan," Bumblebee mentioned, putting the image with those already printed.
GIR: I see a schooner!
"Man, we'd better be able to do somethin' with this," Frenzy remarked. "What do ya think, Mag?"
She did not answer. She sat on her chair, her upper body laid on the desk, her face buried between her arms. She breathed calmly and frequently.
GECKO: So does this mean everything will be returning to normal soon?
"Mag...?"
GIR: Wake up, human! Wake up! *Looks to Gecko, his lip quivering.* She's not dead, is she? *Starts wailing.* Please don't be dead!
Bumblebee gestured to the Decepticon that he should leave her alone, whispering.
"I think she turned to a kind of regeneration mode."
GOURRY: Awww....she's so cute!
*INTERLUDE 9*
ORKO and ARIN travel down a hallway where they run into Brooklyn.
ARIN: Hullo, luv...is the fic over?
BROOKLYN: No, I just couldn't take it anymore. *Points to Orko.* who's that?
ARIN: Luv, this is The First. His name is Orko.
BROOKLYN: The first of Cyrway's Creativity Demons?
ORKO: *sticks his hand out in greeting.* Hi. I'm Orko.
BROOKLYN: For some reason, I was expecting someone a lot more...I don't know...impressive?
ORKO: Oh, I can be very impressive! *Pushes his sleeves.* Look, you need some help in dealing with these evil Autobots, then I'll summon a fearsome monster to drive them away! *Pulls a wand out of trailorspace and waves it, muttering an incantation.*
BROOKLYN: *dryly* This isn't going to work.
ARIN: I know. I used to watch He-Man when I was a kid.
There is a sudden flash of light, and in between the three stands...a strange looking yellow thing that remotely seems to be some sort of animal.
BROOKLYN: What the hell is that?
ORKO: *sheepishly* That was supposed to be a Terellian Slug Monster...
THE CHEAT: *makes weird trilling and nasally noises, obviously angry.*
ARIN: What did he say?
ORKO: Beats me.
BROOKLYN: Great. Another stowaway. *Hides his face.* You know, we may not have enough supplies to handle all these people.
THE CHEAT: *more noises.*
About then, the seven Minicons followed by Mecha-Washu walk in.
BROOKLYN: Where the hell did these guys come from? Washu, did you drag them in through a pocket dimension?
MECHA-WASHU: You imbecilic fleshling, you know nothing of my schemes! Begone, or I will be forced to destroy you where you stand! But first, I want ice cream. *Skips off, singing some tuneless ditty.*
BROOKLYN: *after a five second pause as he, Arin, and Orko watch her leave.* Okay, that was weird. *To Swindle.* What the hell is going on here?
SWINDLE: *subtitled* How the fuck should I know? Last we knew, we were fucking comic relief.
ASTROSCOPE: *subtitled* Besides, it won't help. You don't understand binary.
THE CHEAT: *subtitled* I understand it perfectly. Look, I think there's something that is totally tearing apart the time-space continuum.
SKYBLAST: *subtitled* Do you suppose it was the piecemeal transwarp drive that Cyrway built?
PAYLOAD: *subtitled* Of course! It's the only logical explanation!
BROOKLYN: Why do I get the feeling they're having a conversation and we're left out of it?
ARIN: For all we know, they could be talking about plots to pester Starscream.
EVIL STARSCREAM and ARTEMIS join the group, towering over them.
ARTEMIS: Aren't you supposed to be in the theater, Brooklyn?
BROOKLYN: I went AWOL. *Points to the Minicons.* What's going on around here?
ARTEMIS: Your guess is as good as mine. *Looks at Orko and The Cheat.* More stowaways?
BROOKLYN: That's what I said.
EVIL STARSCREAM: Aw, look at them...they're all beeping together...isn't that cute?
ARIN: Um...Art, I think you smacked Starscream one too many times.
ARTEMIS: No, this is this universe's Starscream. *Exasperatedly* I can't get rid of him.
EVIL STARSCREAM: I swore to protect you from the evil Autobots, my love! You have given me a mission, a purpose!
ARTEMIS: How many times do I have to tell you, I can take care of myself!
A sudden klaxon blares as the hallway flashes red.
ARIN: Shit! Red Alert!
ARTEMIS: Battlestations, gang! *Pulls out her dual handguns.*
EVIL STARSCREAM: Bumblebee and Skyfire must have made it to the bridge!
ARTEMIS: Minicons, locate our Starscream and tell him if he doesn't help out in getting rid of these evil Autobots, I'll rip off his interface cable.
EVIL STARSCREAM and the Minicons wince.
SWINDLE: *subtitled* And the funny thing about that is Starscream can't even understand us. Okay, boys, let's go! *The Minicons clear out fast in a dust cloud.*
ARTEMIS: Arin, Brooklyn, you and your new friends get the organic personnel in a defensive position. I won't take on casualties.
ARIN: Don't worry about us, Art.
WASHU: *over the intercom* Artemis, the Autobots have rushed forward; Quatre's got Prime occupied, but Wheeljack, Ratchet and Jazz are on their way to the bridge.
ARTEMIS: Roger that. Oh, and Washu?
WASHU: Yeah?
ARTEMIS: What's with you talking about world domination and ice cream just now?
WASHU: *nonchalantly.* Oh, that's just Mecha-Washu version 3.02(a). She scanned both GIR and Starscream and has an amalgam of their personalities.
ARTEMIS: That would explain her trying to gnaw off my kneecap. *Shakes her head.* Washu, secure critical areas of the ship!
WASHU: Engine room has been secured. Locking down navigation and game rooms as we speak.
BROOKLYN: I can't believe this is happening.
ARIN: We're being invaded by Autobots from and evil parallel world?
BROOKLYN: No, how water-thin this plot is.
12.
GECKO: 12? Chapter 12? Last one? *Giggles insanely* Oh, yes...oh, merciful God, thank you!
Surrounded by tall walls of rock, a small area, which was not much larger than five thousand square meters, laid embedded in the night dark mountains. The few simple buildings, two barracks of corrugated iron, were a crass contrast to the expenditure spent to secure the treeless territory. Six highly efficient floodlights shone with glistening brightness even in the most hidden corner. There was not one blade of grass left which was not illuminated. A three-meter-high fence of barbed wire and a high voltage fence right behind it shielded the area on three sides. The fourth side consisted of the mountain's invincible steep slope. Along the fence, the cold, incorruptible Argus' eyes of most modern infrared cameras observed every inch up to the woods' edge twenty meters away inside and outside the security hedge. There was not the smallest worm they did not observe. The large two-winged gate was guarded by two heavily armed men in black uniforms. Their machine guns looked like they would more than just injure in case of emergency. The entire scenery gave a paramilitary impression to an extern observer. The one who built this wanted under all circumstances to hide something against outsiders. And if someone still tried to find out the secret, he would play Russian roulette with six live bullets.
GECKO: Meanwhile, in a totally different movie....
GOURRY: I take it they don't like visitors.
A light moved with moderate speed through the midnight darkness of a forest which was not sleeping. A luxury sedan approached on the well-paved road. Moths rushed towards its headlights to give their lives for a bit of false moonlight.
GECKO: And it's probably the type of sedan with the preppy little wipers on the headlights, too.
The car stopped in front of the gate. The driver exchanged a few words with the guards who then let the vehicle pass.
GIR: Invisible robot fish!
The car, a white Mercedes, ignored the barracks and continued its way along the road, which, like a broad, black stroke of a brush, divided the area from the approach to the steep slope into two halves. It aimed directly for the rocks, making no arrangements to decrease its speed. The crash seemed to be unavoidable, then a part of the stone disappeared, giving free sight on a kind of hangar gate.
GECKO: My mistake. We're in the same movie.
"A hologram! I don't believe it," Magic whispered.
GOURRY: And yet you believe in giant robots?
GIR: Can I be a giant robot?
She laid on a bush-covered elevation about two hundred meters away, armed with binoculars. "The guy's really capable!"
GECKO: Contact Jem! The US government's found Synergy!
She crept carefully back into the brushwood to Bumblebee, Ravage and the brothers.
Shortly afterwards, Laserbeak and Buzzaw, who had spied the area, returned from their reconnaissance flight.
GECKO: *falsetto* "Should we tell her the guards are unarmed?"
GOURRY: But that's so--
GECKO: Decepticon? I know.
"The base is situated beyond the fenced territory and in the wall of rock in the back," Bumblebee started to repeat the details of their plan again.
GECKO: So the viewers at home aren't confused.
GOURRY: Too late....
GIR: *Cheers*
"The ventilation shafts came out of the rock up there..."
"...Laserbeak takes me up there 'n' lets me slip through the iron bars," Frenzy added. "I haven't forgotten it, man!"
"Do ya also remember the route through the ventilation shafts?" Rumble asked sceptically. "Those which lead to the emergency exit we wanna use as entrance?"
"Yeah!" his brother grumbled. "My name's Frenzy, not Goofy!"
GECKO: You look like a Disney character.
"But that's close enough..."
Before a longer discussion could start, Magic remarked: "I think the birds have found the place where the emergency exit comes out."
GECKO: The other side of the mountain, where there are conveniently no guards...
GOURRY: That's brilliant!
Buzzaw confirmed that with a short nod.
Thank to the Skyspy, the team had learned about different tunnels that lead out the mountain in case of emergency. The exits lay well camouflagued in the surrounding environment. And it was exactly through one of those that they wanted to break into the base. Their plan included that their way should lead them to an arsenal.
GECKO: Conveniently placed next to the emergency exit....
GOURRY: Wow! This plan's so brilliant, it's as though the bad guys planned to have company! *Blinks* who are the bad guys again?
There, they would get the necessary 'arguments' for their mission of liberation.
GECKO: Viva la resistance!
GIR makes a sound like a dying giraffe.
"Okay, let's go, pals," Magic said, as she unexpectedly heard a silent rustle in the bushes.
With a quick jerk, Ravage disappeared in the shadows.
"If you go on with your gossip that loud, the guards soon will know that you're here," a familiar voice remarked with customary sarcasm.
"Starscream?"
GECKO: Starscream, you idiot! You should have left when you had the chance!
GOURRY: He's being an honourable Decepticon and saving his team, that's all.
GECKO stares at Gourry.
The group members looked at each other, taken aback. Really, it was Starscream who came sauntering out of the forest.
GECKO: Well, if Bumblebee's paintjob doesn't catch attention, Starscream's will.
"I've watched you for the entire time. A nice little plan that you've put together."
"I thought ya wanted to conquer the planet, Screamer," Rumble remarked in a caustic way.
GECKO: That will be later, after he gets the technology from within that mountain.
"I changed my mind, rust dent", the addressee replied in an even more caustic way. "I'm going to help you to free the others. But..."
He pointed on Magic.
"... she's not going to accompany us!"
GECKO: Instead, she will be drawing the guard's fire. *Looks to the other two* You know, I'm getting tired of being the one coming up with the insults.
GOURRY: But he's looking out for the vunerable human!
GIR: I'm gonna play with Gourry's hair now! *Gets entangled in Gourry's long blond locks.* Weee!
GECKO: *kicks Cyrway again* Come on, Amy, wake up please?
"You'll need all the help you can get," the woman contradicted.
GECKO: Don't I know the feeling. *Kicks Cyrway yet again.*
"Maybe," the Decepticon replied. "But you have no experience in fighting and so you'll be just a handicap for us.
GOURRY: Maybe she can talk to the guards and distract them...?
GECKO: Well, distract them, anyway.
Well and, Ravage... Don't even try to hide!"
Hesitating, the jaguar came out of his cover. Starscream looked sharply at him.
"You're going to stay with her to assure she'll keep out!"
GECKO: Ah, maybe he's looking to get credit for this entire plan! That's it!
CYRWAY: *grumbles, still on the floor* With our luck?
GECKO: Good point.
Frenzy crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"Ya come here, Screamer, and ya start giving orders," he remarked. "Who do ya think ya are?"
ALL FOUR: *bored, save for GIR.* The Air Commander of the Decepticon Battle Fleet, we know, we know.
"May I remind you who is the officer with the highest rank among the Decepticons when Megatron is not with us?" Starscream replied. "So you are going to do what I tell you!" He sounded very self-confident.
GECKO: Bumblebee could just tell you to sod off...hey, why don't you leave the Autobot with Magic!
"And where is the problem anyway?" he continued. "We 're going to follow your plan exactly, except for the fact that Mag and Ravage will stay here while I'm coming with you!"
GOURRY: Awwww....he's showing concern for her!
GECKO: That's not a good thing.
Bumblebee and Ravage looked at each other, slightly confused.
GECKO: *as Bumblebee* Why am I still alive?
Magic had noticed it, too. An invisible smile appeared on her lips:
GOURRY: *to Gecko* How can a smile be invisible?
Starscream had called her 'Mag' in front of the others, not 'Earthian' or 'fleshling'...
CYRWAY: *still on the ground, mumbling.* Slight oversight. Won't happen again.
"Boys, it's okay," she tried to accommodate. "I'm staying. I suppose I'd be really a handicap. However, I have a wish..."
GOURRY: That you play nicely with the Autobots.
"And what wish?" Starscream asked.
"Get the others out, safe and sound..."
GECKO: So much for Starscream accidentally forgetting Megatron.
GIR: Awwww.... *giggles*
The environment was reminiscent of the highly secured tract of the tower of Naran, the Decepticon's prisoner-of-war camp on Cybertron. The sad, dim light; the thick, cold-gray metal walls; the Vidia bars that were surrounded by a highly efficient defence field. The bars crackled in a menacing way. Licking discharges warned about the danger of touching them.
GECKO: Wow...bring Martha Stewart in here for redecoration, pronto!
GOURRY: I think a nice deco yellow will do well....
A guard in black uniform sat imperiously as if enthroned at the end of the corridor, the all-revealing screens of the supervision system and a highly modern computer terminal placed around him. A halter with a RDA gun hung loosely at his side. He was the only thing that reminded of the planet they really were on.
GIR: What planet are we on, anyway?
Bishoph had arranged to bring the Transformers from the dome into here right after the minimizing procedure.
GECKO: So that he can entertain the masses! Next up: Soundwave versus Rakishi!
GOURRY: I thought Rakishi was on Smackdown?
CYRWAY: *still on the floor* Rakishi is recovering from an injury.
GOURRY: So Soundwave can't wrestle Rakishi. How about the Big Show?
GECKO: You just totally ruined that heckle.
And he had extremely enjoyed having them put into the prison cells in small, mixed groups:
GECKO: Okay, I'll put the Dudley Boys in with the Unamericans....and the APA with Kai and Tai....Kane in with X-Pac....
if possible, pairing the Autobots and Decepticons together who liked - as he thought - each other the least.
GECKO: ...Terri and Stacey Keibler in with Trish Stratus and Molly Holly for a four way bra and panties match....
So, indeed, some violent disputes between some of the robots took place.
GECKO: Booker T. in with Golddust...oh, wait...
Optimus Prime stood close to the bars, watching, concerned, how Shrapnel and Grimlock first loudly spat insults at each other, and then used their fists.
GIR: Oooooohhhh...I was a Dinobot in a past life!
GECKO: It shows.
He saw the guard who lounged, bored, behind his monitors, absolutely not interested in what happened.
GOURRY: I would have thought it to be interesting.
GECKO: I think it is. It's about time they got into some fighting.
CYRWAY: *gets back into Gourry's lap* Kill! Rend! Maul! Destroy! *hyperventilates*
"What does Bishoph want to cause with all this?" he asked silently.
CYRWAY: Entertainment, of course! Oh, and you and Megatron have three minutes to start entertaining him.
"I suppose he wants to delight himself by watching us killing each other," Megatron answered dryly.
GECKO: They're finally catching on.
Prime turned around. The Decepticon leader sat back against the wall in the rear part of the cell, watching his long-time opponent.
"Will you try to kill me?" the Autobot wanted to know.
GOURRY: No, because that won't be nice.
CYRWAY: Gourry, dear, you're excused.
GOURRY: Okay.... *Gets up and leaves, dejected.* But I was liking the fic!
CYRWAY: Poor soul...he hasn't the heart to heckle.
"No", Megatron answered. "Why should I do Bishoph a favor?"
GECKO: Because he holds your contract, and damned will he just hand you over to Stephanie.
He folded his hands, placing his chin on his thumbs. A slight grin was on his lips.
"And because you, as far as I know you, won't make the first strike, the dear Benedict won't have his fun in our case."
CYRWAY: So they get to stare each other and talk it out.
Looking the Autobot directly into the optics, the Decepticon wanted to know: "Do you agree with me, Prime?"
GIR: Aw, they're making friends!
Optimus Prime slowly nodded, slightly uncertain. Megatron confused him.
CYRWAY: What's there to be confused about?
GIR: Don't be confused, master! Just unthink existence!
The Decepticon leader differed from the memory he had of him. Something about him has changed... His eyes - it was Megatron's eyes!
GECKO: YOU'RE NOT THE REAL MEGATRON!
CYRWAY: AND WHAT ABOUT GRIMLOCK'S BRAIN?
GIR: I'M GOING TO BE SICK!!! *Pukes up his Moxie/Coke/Pepsi mixture*
How often had their optics met within all their battles; how often had these red lights stared at the Matrix keeper full of burning hate? But now there was no more hate in them.
GECKO: Aw, come on, Prime and just sock him for old times sake!
For the first time, Prime recognized that he had always seen his opponent as a kind of monster, a devilish demon.
CYRWAY: No, dear, that's Protoform X.
GECKO: *Beast Wars Rampage voice, laughing.* Give into your hate....let it burn...
GIR: The master loves burning!
GECKO: "Burninating the countryside, burnintating the peasants!"
Now he had to learn that Megatron was as Cybertronian as he was himself.
CYRWAY: *punctuated.* No shit.
A strange noise approached from outside the prison tract. The Transformers listened. With a slight hiss of the hydraulics, the entrance's segments slipped into the wall and Bishoph's known form appeared.
GECKO: *starts air guitaring Eric Bishoph's entrance music.*
With him were Starscream, Bumblebee and the four cassette Decepticons - surrounded by eight heavily armed security guards.
CYRWAY: *as Starscream.* You were supposed to be a decoy, Autobot.
GECKO: *as Bumblebee.* Well, I couldn't help the fact your whining gave away our position...
"The lost sheep returned to the herd; my collection is nearly completed again,"
GECKO: I've already got the complete Gobot set as it is.
CYRWAY: Not since Leader One met up with his Minicon counterpart have we witnessed such a hellacious match!
GIR: *a la Pokemon.* Jolt! Jolt! *Pours Jolt into his concoction.*
GECKO: *Charmander voice* Bone...Bonecrusher!
CYRWAY: Swindle! Swindle!
the Doctor remarked with pleasant tone. "The only thing that's still missing is the cat and... Maybe we should also take care of this girl... What was her name again? Mag...?"
ALL THREE air guitar realisation music.
Starscream was startled.
GECKO: *Starscream voice* Good Primus, what am I doing here?!
How could he know about Mag?
CYRWAY: *spoken in a monotone* It's a flaming wonder telepath.
None of them had told him about the young woman after their plan had failed and they had been captured...
GECKO: He should have listened to sound advice and thought about They Might Be Giants songs.
GIR: *singing off key* No cigar, no lady on his arm! Just a guy made of dots and lines!
"Bishoph! I'm going to rip you apart!" Megatron's thundering voice made the walls vibrate.
GECKO and CYRWAY: Please do.
GIR: YEEEEHAH! I'm vibrating!
In blind rage, the Decepticon jerked forward like a projectile, grasped the bars and...
GECKO: Woke up from a very bad dream.
This torture!
ALL THREE: You can say that again!
GIR: This torture! *laughs*
The pain burned through the circuitry up the arms until it reached the central processor. Stunned, Megatron collapsed. At last, his prison mate dragged him away from the bars back into the rear part of their cell.
CYRWAY: Wouldn't want to admit you had fun watching him writhe, Prime?
Bishoph was taken aback. What a strong emotional reaction... was he just excited because they had captured these six bunglers,
GECKO: Naw....
or did he react because the girl was mentioned?
GIR: Oh! I know Megatron's weakness!
GECKO: The idiot...*hides his face.*
CYRWAY: The difference between fangirl and fangrrl...
GIR: He's in love with Starscream!
CYRWAY and GECKO: *look down at GIR.* Exactly.
This Decepticon was a highly incalculable character, a real challenge...
ALL THREE: Not really...
"Lock them with the others!" the man in the white overalls ordered the guards. "And this one..." He gestured at Starscream. "...the best, you give him to his boss..."
GECKO: All right! Let's see Screamer get pistolwhipped!
Slowly the burning behind Megatron's forehead plate diminished, his mind becoming clearer again. Curses! When would he finally learn to control his temper..?
CYRWAY: Never! *Cackles maniacally*
By actions like these he harmed his mate, too, instead of helping her!
GECKO: No shit.
CYRWAY: *checks her watch*
Starscream stood at the opposite side of the cell, pressed against the wall.
CYRWAY: Psst, flyboy...I'll give you ultimate power if you come over to my side...
He held his body ramrod stiff, trembling slightly.
GECKO: Ah, I see Arty walked into the room with a sawed off shotgun.
"I'm sorry, Megatron," he whispered hoarsely. The fear that Megatron possible burst of rage affected his voice.
ALL THREE: "Started talkin' shit, well what do you know? I reached back like a pimp and I smacked the ho!"
The Decepticon leader rubbed his temples, hearing Bumblebee talk to Optimus Prime:
GIR: Can we have waffles?
"...Mag's an Earthian, too. She has helped us, executing our plan. I don't know how Bishoph has found out about her. None of us have told him of her..."
CYRWAY: For Primus's sake, you were there when he did his little brain scan of everyone!
"He read your minds. He's a telepath," Soundwave interfered with the conversation relating to the matter.
Megatron got up.
GECKO: *deep Barry White voice* And then he got down. *Air guitars porn music*
"I am sorry!" Starscream's voice got a touch more hysterical.
CYRWAY: No you're not...you're only saying that to save your own skidplate.
"Stop whining!" Megatron snarled.
ALL THREE: SMACK HIM!
GIR: *points to Hoist* Bagels?
"I know it wasn't your fault..."
GECKO: Everything's Starscream's fault. Cosmic Entropy is Starscream's fault.
And in his thoughts he added: "...without you they'd have captured Magic or even..." He strongly clenched his jaw-plates.
CYRWAY: Little do they know that the guards have surrounded Magic and Ravage....
Starscream felt relief and confusion at the same time.
GIR: Yay! Huh? Yay! Huh? Yay!
This time, Megatron did not blame him for the disaster?