Trichess part 9
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BROOKLYN: With Rumble running after him carrying Megatron's plasma cannon.
It was a blow that could rip the eardrums as the jet engines ignited, then their blood-curdling thunder made the entire mountain tremble. With rapidly increasing speed, the jet tore along the gap in the rock, ejecting into the night.
GIR: Look! Soundwave and Starscream had a kid!
For a moment, Magic thought she had finally gone deaf from the noise. Her ears hurt like hell, as if someone hit them with the flat of the hand.
CYRWAY and BROOKLYN smack each other upside the head for emphasis.
Her head was close to breaking in half. But thankfully, she was not deaf, she just heard everything as if through cotton in her ears. So she only vaguely noticed as Blitzwing yelled: "Starscream, you traitor! Stay here!"
CYRWAY: GO STARSCREAM!!! *Cheers and dances with GIR.*
BROOKLYN: You're free, Starscream! Free to be as evil as possible!
GOURRY: Why would he leave his brethren like that? *Sobs* WHY?!
Just a few seconds later, the exhausted group reached the hangar. Here, it was even more gloomy than in the corridor behind them. There had been little fires now and then which had given at least a bit of light.
GIR: *pantomimes roasting marshmellows.*
Somewhere something creaked monotonously along - the wind was playing with a loose part hanging from the ceiling. The APCs and three trucks, one of them still coupled to Prime's trailer, stood lonely and forgotten among tons of rubble and debris. Where the gate had been before now was free sight at the nightly forest.
BROOKLYN: It's like I'm trapped in a cartoon or something.
Without a sound, a shadow slipped through the darkness to meet the Transformers.
"Ravage!" Soundwave said in his strangely melodic way.
CYRWAY: Oh, is he happy to see that naughty little kitten...
For Magic it was as if she had heard a kind of relief in the sound. And she was also glad to see that nothing had happened to her four-legged friend.
BROOKLYN: He maimed and mauled a couple of park wardens, but that's all right seeing that he's okay.
But primary, she had to do with an other thought, was one of the semis still functional?
GOURRY: Please say yes, please say yes...
She hastened across the hall.
"Where ya wanna go, Mag?" Rumble bellowed after her.
CYRWAY: AWAY FROM THE LOT OF YE!
"I'll see if I can persuade one of the big-ones to give us a lift," she answered, running.
GIR and CYRWAY: "Moving! Motion! Moving! Motion! Said Move! Said Move it! Big Truck!" *An anvil drops on GIR's head.*
GIR: *pained* At last....
"Can I help ya?"
GOURRY: What a helpful little Decepticon...
BROOKLYN: *glares at him.*
"Not before you've learned where the brake is!"
CYRWAY: Even if he did, why would he use it?
She climbed up the truck that hauled the Autobot trailer and swung into the driver's cabin. That was not a steering-wheel that was a coach's wheel this eighteen-wheelers had! The gear-shift was not a problem,
CYRWAY: You sure about that? *Chuckles darkly.*
but... a blessing in disguise, the ignition key hung in the ignition.
ALL FOUR: Of course.
The hammering pumping of the diesel engine was music to Magic's ears.
BROOKLYN: Ace's too...
CYRWAY: I much prefer a V-12 Mopar...inside a blue Dodge Viper with a roguish smile...
BROOKLYN: *to Gourry* she's gone into Sideburn Fangirl mode.
CYRWAY: *mallets BROOKLYN*
It functioned! And there was still enough fuel in the tank to get to Mount St. Hilary.
BROOKLYN: Normally I would protest the conveniently placed plot devices...but this fic's dragged on long enough.
"Jump aboard, boys!" Magic shouted out of the side window. "We'll disappear out of this tomb hill!"
"All together?" Huffer asked, looking skeptically at those Transformers that wore a purple symbol.
CYRWAY: Last thing Huffer wanted was Laserbeak dropping potassium nitrate on his head.
"Please! It worked relatively well 'til now. Forget your antipathy to each other for a while longer!"
CYRWAY and BROOKLYN: NO!
GIR: Where's the kissing?
GOURRY: Yeah!
The woman in the truck slowly became impatient. "As soon as every one of you is quite well again, you can start making dents in each others plates again, I don't mind. But now, get into the trailer!"
CYRWAY: Why am I still conscious? Starscream left! *Falls back on the floor again.*
GOURRY: *looks down at Cyrway, then at GIR.* Well, it looks like it's just the two of us.
BROOKLYN: *blinks.* I'm still here.
TOWELIE: *stumbles in and sits down casually, staring up at the screen.*
BROOKLYN: Wonderful.
"Shooo! The lady can be really energetic," Ironhide whispered to Jazz, beside him, grinning slightly.
TOWELIE: Don't forget to bring a towel!
BROOKLYN: What the hell are you doing here?
TOWELIE: *shrugs lazily.*
"Right, brother, she has soul in her voice," he confirmed. "Whatever, nothing to get excited about the Cons. Megatron is calmed down the compulsory way,
BROOKLYN: IE he's unconscious.
Starscream left the choir..."
GOURRY: He could sing?
TOWELIE takes a loud toke from his joint and coughs.
"...and the rest is as weapon- and as energy drained as us," Ironhide concluded. "Well let's jump in. Next stop: Ark..."
BROOKLYN: "Let's get back to the station...cornhole us some Cons."
At the highest speed that she could risk with her freight, Magic drove the semi along the night highways. Her truck was the only vehicle far and wide.
GIR: *off tune* "We gotta great big convoy rolling through the night! We gotta mighty convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight?"
BROOKLYN: What we need now are some insane non-cartoon characters. Star Sabre, for instance...or Thunderwing. Yeah.
Cars seldom ventured into this remote area.
In monotone regularity, reflections appeared out of the darkness in front of the headlights' cones, passed by her truck, and disappeared in the darkness behind.
Magic wiped the tears from her eyes to get a clearer sight again. The oppressing feeling inside her chest did not want to go away. She liked to be hopeful, but her mate was in such a terribly bad condition.
GOURRY: Oh, no! *Starts sniffing.* Hang in there, Megatron! For Magic!
BROOKLYN: *glares at Gourry*
TOWELIE: *offers BROOKLYN his joint.* Wanna get high?
BROOKLYN: *stares down at the proffered joint.* And totally skewer my perception on this entire fic? *Takes the joint and takes a deep toke, coughing.*
Megatron, beloved, hang on!
GOURRY: *sits on the edge of his seat, on the verge of tears.* Don't let it end! He'll be all right! Please pull through!
BROOKLYN: *sinks in his seat*
She had to make it in time! She had to...
She felt his desperate fight - he was not prepared to die yet!
BROOKLYN: *singing* Veni, veni, venias, ne me mori facias.... *snorts*
Again and again, his stubborn will forced his exhausted body to function just a little bit longer.
GIR: *barks like a dog.*
At first, Magic thought her nebulous
BROOKLYN: Hey...it's that word again....
mind was playing a trick on her. No, really, in the distance, a shining dot hung over the road.
GIR: Look! It's a UFO!
TOWELIE and BROOKLYN: Whoa.... *Both break down into snickers.*
As she got closer to the point, the source of the energetic shine was clearer to see: an energon cube. And no other but Starscream carried it in his hands.
BROOKLYN: What the....? *Kicks Cyrway.* Hey, Ace? Starscream's back!
CYRWAY: *gets up and sniffs.* Brooklyn, are you smoking marijuana?
BROOKLYN: *stares up innocently at her with the joint in his hand; Towelie has slipped through the seat and vanished.* Um...no.... *Snorts out a giggle.*
Magic stopped the truck at once.
BROOKLYN: No! Hit him!
GIR: YEAH! Run him over! *Giggles with Brooklyn.*
CYRWAY: Okay, that's scary.
GOURRY: At least Brooklyn's in a better mood.
"Starscream!" she shouted in his direction, but he passed by the driver's cabin without a word.
CYRWAY: "I don't want to talk to you, fleshling."
She saw in the rearview mirror how he opened the trailer's back door, disappeared inside, came out again shortly afterwards, and closed the door again from outside.
BROOKLYN: Cue the porn music.
GIR: *starts humming "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Raitt.*
Just a moment later, the Decepticon appeared at the front passenger's side, opened the door, and went aboard.
CYRWAY: "Just. Drive. No questions, no comments, no SNAD remarks. Drive."
Magic got the eighteen-wheeler in motion again, continuing the ride.
ALL FOUR: "Roll on Daddy, roll along! Roll on, momma, till you get back home! Roll on family! Roll on crew! Roll on momma, that's all I ask you to do! And roll on eighteen wheeler roll on!"
BROOKLYN: Whoa...we just sang Alabama....*snorts* I frellin' hate country music. *giggles*
The oppressive feeling slowly diminished. Megatron's condition was stable now! She breathed in relief.
CYRWAY: *Sniffs again.* Brooklyn, where did you get that joint?
BROOKLYN: Towelie gave it to me.
CYRWAY: Towelie is a fictional character, Brooklyn.
BROOKLYN: *stares at her.* Uh...
"You probably saved Megatron's life, Starscream," she said to her passenger. "Thank you."
GOURRY: Yay, Starscream!
GIR: YAY!!!
CYRWAY: Shows what you know; Starscream drank it in front of Megatron to gloat.
"You can be sure, I haven't done this for him," the other replied pertly.
BROOKLYN: Of course not, dear. *snickers*
"For whom then?"
CYRWAY: Himself! *Cackles maniacally, with GIR joining in.*
Starscream stared at the gray plastic mat which laid beneath his feet.
GIR: Look! Hooter women!
"For a friend;" he answered silently. "For possibly the only one I have..."
BROOKLYN: *Jetstorm voice* "We're...friends?"
He looked at her.
"For you... Magic...!"
GOURRY: Awwwwww! *Sniffs* You know, I bet that if Arty treated him better, he would be nicer to her.
CYRWAY: *stares at Gourry and laughs maniacally.*
"You know my name...?" It was more a statement than a question.
BROOKLYN: Blatantly obvious throughout the fic...by the way, what happened to Justine?
"Yah, Megatron called you that," Starscream answered. "He is the only one, except for your sister, who knows it. Correct...? He was together with you the night before Bishoph's operation started; the coordinates for the aerial rendezvous were close to your living place..."
GIR: Ooooooohhh...Starscream is getting jealous...
CYRWAY: Now it's time for the girlfriend talks!
BROOKLYN: Tell us everything about your sexual encounters with Megatron, Screamer...
"You're right," the young woman confirmed. "We are a couple..."
GOURRY: A loving, normal couple that breaks the stereotypes and smashes the walls of adversity!
GIR: Awwwww...
BROOKLYN: Now let's go back to some WAFFy fic with Arty and Ultra Magnus, shall we? *Looks around.* Oh, wait, we can't.
CYRWAY: *whines* Not you too!
BROOKLYN: I'm blaming the jay.
"You love him?" Starscream's voice had lost all screeching that seemed to be so typical for it. It sounded nearly soft.
CYRWAY: Frig no, she's just using him for sex.
BROOKLYN: Or vice versa.
GOURRY: You two aren't being nice!
GIR: But without evil there can be no good, so it's gotta be good to be evil sometimes!
BROOKLYN: Whoa...deep....
CYRWAY: *blink* You ripped that out of South Park, GIR!
BROOKLYN: But...but he's right! I'm beginning to understand now!
CYRWAY: *pulls out the Creation Matrix and whomps Brooklyn over the head with it.*
BROOKLYN: No, wait, you're right. SNAD's SNAD.
Magic nodded.
"More than anyone else..."
CYRWAY: And what would Starscream know about love?
STARSCREAM: *in BM mode, hanging over her shoulder suddenly.* Could I borrow that, Ace, old buddy, old pal?
CYRWAY: Sure. *Hands the Matrix to him. He cackles maniacally and races out of the room.*
GOURRY: Um...was that such a good idea, Ace?
CYRWAY: Sure...I mean, Starscream and the Decepticons are only misunderstood...he's probably just taking it back to the rightful owners now...
"I hope, he returns this love, Magic," the Decepticon continued.
CYRWAY: I reinstate my previous question: what would Starscream know about love?
BROOKLYN: Whoa...you like totally were being sarcastic a moment ago...
"Be careful, please! Never allow Megatron to hurt you!"
GOURRY: He would never do that!
*INTERLUDE 10*
The Matrix glows brightly in the hands of Starscream, who stares down at it with a scheming look on his face.
STARSCREAM: At last...who would have thought it would be so easy to acquire this artifact? *Cackles maniacally* Now, I shall destroy these bumbling Autobots and make Arty cower before me!
PAYLOAD: *subtitled* Hey, there he is!
STARSCREAM: *blinks, then hides the Matrix behind his back.* What do you want?
The Minicons, with The Cheat, mill around his legs, looking up at him cutely.
ASTROSCOPE: *subtitled* Arty's macking the this universe's Starscream.
SWINDLE: *subtitled* He's like a patsy Silverbolt, man!
RUNWAY: *subtitled* And he's Skyfire's bitch too!
JETSTORM: *subtitled* Yeah!
SONAR: *subtitled* For sure!
THE CHEAT: *subtitled* He can't understand you guys.
SKYLAB: *subtitled* That's the point.
STARSCREAM: *annoyed* Yes, yes, now go away. I have work to do. *Steps around the Minicons and continues on.*
THE CHEAT: *subtitled* Well, that was productive.
SWINDLE: *subtitled* Dudes, should we follow him and see if he runs into Arty and Evil Screamer?
RUNWAY: *subtitled* You see he was packing the Matrix? I think he has other plans....
JETSTORM: *subtitled* Yep.
SONAR: *subtitled* Totally.
ASTROSCOPE: *subtitled* I wonder what he's planning.
PAYLOAD: *subtitled* I thought it was obvious.
ASTROSCOPE: *subtitled* I was being sarcastic.
SWINDLE: *subtitled* Wait, you know what that means...
SKYLAB: *subtitled* Another WarWorld incident?
SWINDLE: *subtitled* Taking into consideration that Cyrway is a total Furman fanatic, yep, I say that's a good guess.
PAYLOAD: *subtitled* Which means...
MINICONS TOGETHER: *subtitled* WE GET TO PESTER HIM ANYWHERE WE GO!!! *Cheering assures as they bolt off into the opposite direction, leaving the Cheat standing in the hallway, somewhat disorientated.*
THE CHEAT: *subtitled* Screw you guys, I'm going to do something useful. *Wanders off.*
13.
GECKO: *reappears suddenly next to Brooklyn, wearing an open wizard's robe over his normal clothing; his hair is longer, his goatee is more shaggier, and he has a raven named Poe on his shoulder.* What the CHOP's this? 13?
CYRWAY: One more chapter.
GECKO: Screw this, I'm outta--*sniffs and looks at Brooklyn.* Dude, you smoking a joint?
BROOKLYN: Yeah... *Giggles with a cough* Want a toke?
GECKO: *chuckles* Oh, no, I wouldn't want to ruin the effect of watching you stoned.
"The Delta-Cycle is collapsing!
CYRWAY: The Magus Sisters aren't doing their job!
Vital rates decreasing rapidly, we're gonna lose him!"
GECKO: He's not dead yet? Dammit!
GOURRY: That's not nice!
GECKO: Brooklyn, pass him the joint.
GOURRY: Oh, no, drugs are bad!
GIR: *head starts spinning around.* Redrum! Redrum!
"Circuit stimulation: power 250, frequency 80, 4 Asec!" Ratchet demanded at once.
CYRWAY: CLEAR!
Wheeljack did not react. Instead, he stared at the instruments' displays, disconcerted.
BROOKLYN: Aw, hell, I'm just gonna let him die and take the malpractice fines.
"Do as I told you!" Ratchet hissed angrily; this was a matter of life and death.
MAIN THREE: Your point?
"Errr - not necessary anymore," the other Autobot explained hesitatingly.
BROOKLYN: He's dead, Jim...
GIR: Blow me up, Master! *Jumps on Gecko's lap.*
GECKO: Sorry, dude, I don't swing that way.
"It restarted by itself..."
"I beg your pardon?!"
GECKO: Lousy power strip...
GOURRY: He's going to live!
Wheeljack turned the screen in his direction.
CYRWAY: Look! Chandler and Joey are lovers now!
"As you can see, the other rates are also stabilizing themselves," he added further. "A bit shaky, but stable..."
BROOKLYN: Like a 3 magnitude earthquake.
Never before in his career had Ratchet seen a main circulation which had broken down start again by itself. What a mad will to survive must be behind this!
GECKO: No, it's just he's too much of an idiot to die...
GOURRY: *hushed* What if Galvatron got to him...?
CYRWAY: Oh, I can deal with a stark raving mad version of Megatron, yes...
Brother Death would have to think out about something much better if he wanted Megatron for his scrap iron collection.
BROOKLYN: Oh, puckernuts.
Ratchet thoughtfully looked at the face of the gray-silver Transformer who lay unconscious on the surgery table in front of him, a cyber-repair tunnel covering his chest and thorax. Where had the Slagmaker's grimace wired by rage gone?
GOURRY: He found someone to turn that frown upside down!
GECKO: So he's been smoking what Brooklyn's smoking? *Brooklyn coughs a laugh*
There were only the features of a proud Cybertronian warrior, marked by exhaustion and pain.
GIR: *takes out a spray can and starts shaking it.* Jerry Bears!
For nearly twelve hours, Ratchet and Wheeljack had worked on repairing Megatron's injuries.
ALL FIVE start humming 1950s "Industrial" type music.
The entire time, they had been observed by the Argus' eyes of Laserbeak and Buzzaw. Soundwave and Blitzwing also stood sentry close to the sick-bed. And on the Autobot side, Prowl and Bluestreak had a watchful eye on the Decepticons. The mutual mistrust was more than obvious again.
CYRWAY: Oh, I feel so much better now.
The repair had taken this long because the steel beam had ripped through more of Megatron's systems than it had seemed before. Especially the damage in the micro circuits was revealed after a closer examination by the Ark's medical sensors.
BROOKLYN: And we're all bummed about this because...?
GIR: Can we order a pizza?
Moreover, the work was handicapped by the fact that Bishoph had shrunk the Transformers, and most of the repair bay's devices were adjusted to their original size.
GOURRY: So why can't they use the Microsizer again? *Scratches his head.*
CYRWAY: You're so cute when you're clueless.
Therefore Bumblebee, who was the only one able to return to his original height,
CYRWAY: A whole foot taller than he had been!
had to assist in a few cases, though he was a complete lay-man.
BROOKLYN: On the plus side, the others don't have to bend down to smack him upside the head any more.
GECKO: "Me Grimlock hate being small!"
CYRWAY: So maybe now Devastator would be normal size rather than growing to the size of the Empire State Building.
Magic sat outside the repair bay's door, lying partly against the wall, partly against Ravage. Since they had arrived in the Ark, the jaguar had not left her side for a single moment.
GOURRY: What a good, loyal cat...
GECKO and BROOKLYN: TO THE WRONG SIDE!!!
GIR: I pet the kitty!
Although physically exhausted, the young woman was not able to sleep due worry for her mate. So she dozed in a drowsy sleep.
BROOKLYN: "stone by day....stoned by night..." *giggles*
GECKO: My, you're much easier to deal with when you're baked.
She trembled inside; Megatron's collapse had not passed her without an effect. Only slowly, her nerves calmed down again.
CYRWAY: Soon, she would realise that self-insertions are bad, mmmkay?
She nearly had not found the Ark again, because only rock could been seen where golden shining propulsion outlets had come out of the mountain a few days ago.
GECKO: I can't believe you lost the Ark! Goddamn fleshling creature.
POE: *squawks* Screw you and the horse you rode in on!
BROOKLYN: Your bird talks, man.
GECKO: No, Brook, you're just stoned.
POE pecks Gecko's head.
Then Starscream had explained to her that the space ship had a camouflage system quite similar to the one of Bishoph's base.
ALL FIVE: Of course.
The entrance had simply been hidden behind a hologram.
GECKO: *deadpan* The music's contagious.
BROOKLYN: *equally deadpan* Outrageous.
Afterwards, Perceptor had also mentioned that the hologram projector must have been repaired by the droids a short time ago, and had worked again since that.
CYRWAY: Will not complain about convenience, will not complain about convenience....
A seismic displacement had extremely strained the device as well as the gate...
After their arrival in the Autobot headquarters,
GIR: EVERYONE STRIP NAKED AND PLAY TWISTER!!!
Magic had been overwhelmed with questions about the Earth,
BROOKLYN: Are the Smashing Pumpkins really broken up?
CYRWAY: Is Hawkwind still around?
GOURRY: What exactly are pralines?
GIR: Can I pee standing up?
GECKO: Are you all fangirls?
the strange thing about the Transformers action figures and stuff,
CYRWAY: *As Starscream* Why do I only have two points of articulation--what the hell is with that Pretender--why can't they make a War Within action figure--okay, I don't look so bad in Armada--what the hell is with the racecar on my back?!
GECKO: Look on the bright side, it could have been like Hotshot's and Jolt's; might I add that the toy is the most accurate rendition of a helicopter humping a sports car.
BROOKLYN: "Only now do I realise I'm surrounded by incompetence."
ALL FIVE: Yesss...
and so on for nearly seven hours. Furthermore someone absolutely wanted to know why they spoke Late Cybertronian and used the appropriate characters in this part of the planet.
GOURRY: I was wondering that too!
GECKO: It's called convenient plot device.
And there are people who asserted that they would speak English and would use the Latin alphabet in America...
BROOKLYN: Thank God for Neale Davidson's fonts.
Magic nestled closer to Ravage's side now. She was cold of tiredness, and the metallic cat of prey was not as cold as the golden shining wall behind her. Ravage sat perfectly still.
GECKO: And then he was going to pounce and bite her head off and all the Decepticons started fighting the Autobots--
GIR: ALL RIGHT!!!
In the beginning,
BROOKLYN: There was the Void.
the repair bay gave the impression of a M.A.S.H.
MAIN THREE: "Suicide is painless, it brings on many changes, and I can take or leave it if I please!" *an anvil falls on Brooklyn.*
GECKO: Well, there was a nice change.
Although here, the possibility that a chopper had been the patient itself was higher than it bearing the injured.
BROOKLYN: But the cross-dressing nurse was a common constant.
GECKO: *Tracks voice.* Hey! I resemble that remark!
Besides the Decepticon leader, there had been lots of other damaged.
CYRWAY: But this being a fangirl fic, Megatron gets treated first.
But most of the injuries had not been more serious than dents, distorted frames, or wedged joints.
CYRWAY: Let's not forget bruised egos and shattered self-images.
GOURRY: Those poor Transformers...
GIR: Hotlips in the shower! Hotlips in the shower!
A bit more problems had caused only two or three extremities to be torn off, and Hook's bruised hands.
GECKO: *as Hook* At least Wayward treats us with the respect we deserve!
It is true that the Constructicon had allowed one of the Arc's droids to fix his right one provisionally, but for safety, he had treated himself further afterward. He neither trusted Teletran 1's skill nor its intention.
BROOKLYN: Okay, as long as one Decepticon isn't trusting an Autobot or a human.
Afterwards, Hook had taken care of the rest of the damaged Decepticons, while the Autobots had been treated by Perceptor and Hoist.
ALL FIVE: BAGELS!
But now, only Ratchet and Wheeljack, their patient, his guards and their overseers were inside.
GECKO: That's constituting for about half the Autobots and Decepticons on base.
For nearly twelve hours, Autobots and Decepticons had been together inside the Ark.
CYRWAY: And only the incidental nameless Seekers were destroyed.
Although the atmosphere between the opponent groups was strained, which had been habit somehow, there had not been any riots. They tried to evade each other. Nevertheless, sometimes, though seldom, they talked to each other. And then they noticed in surprise that there were not only contrasts between them...
GOURRY: May there be peace between Autobots and Decepticons...
BROOKLYN: *sucks hard on the joint.* Must not lose...perception... *Coughs violently.* Much better....
Her eyes nearly closed, Magic watched how Red Alert nervously stole through the corridors, suspiciously observing the Decepticons.
GIR and CYRWAY: WOO WOO WOO WOO!
GECKO: *as Red Alert* They're all out to get me...save Starscream...yes...Starscream is my only friend...
"Ah, yup," she thought, shrugging. "The security chief's nightmare..."
CYRWAY: Be thankful Ultra Magnus wasn't there.
GECKO: He can't be! Why? You killed him!
CYRWAY: Will you lay off of that?!
Perceptor's lab, a nearly square room was only about a third of the repair bay's size and was filled with the most modern equipment which Cybertron had been able to offer four million years ago. Utmost order reigned.
GIR: Order is our enemy! We must stop Entropy!
Caused by the lack of appropriate body size,
GECKO: Among other things...
the scientist stood on the chair in front of the computer terminal.
BROOKLYN: Hey...doesn't Perceptor have that doohickey from the Microbots episode where the Decepticons get plastered...? Man, that was the bomb!
GOURRY: Yeah, he's right!
GECKO: It's scary when Brooklyn knows this stuff stoned.
Thoughtfully, he looked at the information on the screen, typed in new commands, looked again...
CYRWAY: Realising everything was in Unix and not BASIC...
even more thoughtfully.
Actually, he would have liked to analyse how Bishoph had been able to create a permanent Gamma-Tetron-Effect in the Transformers.
GECKO: When you figure it out, let Spike Dudley know, okay?
But at last he had received completely different data that was even more fascinating to him.
BROOKLYN: We've all been turned into humans wearing armour!
The door slipped open and Optimus Prime entered the room.
GECKO: Que the porn music.
"You wanted to talk to me, Perceptor?" he remarked, stepping inside.
BROOKLYN: "I just wanted to say that this is all my fault."
"Yes, indeed ," the scientist confirmed without looking up from his work. "I believe to be 85.3 per cent secure in saying that Megatron lied to Bishoph as he proposed him an alliance."
MAIN THREE: *punctuated* Bull-fuckin'-shit!
GOURRY: You guys aren't nice at all! You won't even give the guy the benefit of a doubt! How do you know he isn't sincere? Huh? How do you know he's not trying to turn over a new leaf?
CYRWAY: Gourry-dear, it's called "Megatron's Master Plan." And humans are inheritably stupid.
GOURRY: They are?
CYRWAY: Yes, they are.
GIR: Except for Dib! He knows all our plans... *Looks shifty.* I must inform my master! *Squeals and runs around in circles, then sits back in his seat and whines.* I'm lost....
"Perceptor, I am one hundred per cent sure ," Prime replied slightly confused.
GECKO: Then how can he be so sure?
BROOKLYN: And what about Grimlock's brain?
"As soon as Bishoph had released Megatron, his life wouldn't be worth a drop of oil anymore..."
CYRWAY: Well, that was what we were counting on.
"Excuse me, I think I expressed myself in a misleading way," Perceptor interrupted him.
GECKO: *As Perceptor* I love you.
"I wanted to consider the fact that Megatron requested Bishoph to get rid of the Autobots because he hadn't been able to do it himself until that point..."
GIR: And what makes you think that if Megatron couldn't do it, a human could?
GECKO: Did GIR just say something that made sense?
GIR: *takes Brooklyn's joint and eats it, then squeals happily.* Much better!
The scientist climbed a bit clumsily down from his standing accommodation.
GOURRY: Fact: all geeks are clutzes.
"And...?" Optimus Prime wanted to know.
GECKO: *booming Unicron voice.* AND NOTHING!
"I think Megatron's interest in seeing us dead is not as big as he wants us to believe. Actually, he had the opportunity to destroy us after his reactivation."
BROOKLYN: That's because his Green Crystal has been destroyed.
"Perceptor, he didn't know that one of his men had programmed the computer to reactivate us as well after the Decepticons did," Prime contradicted.
CYRWAY: IT WASN'T SKYWARP!
"He probably thought we would stay deactivated, because the droids didn't continue their work right away, due to the retardation factor of the program..."
CYRWAY: BLAME DIRGE!
Perceptor shook his head.
GIR: Negative negative negative!
"Wheeljack secretly transmitted a print of Megatron's energy emission pattern from the repair bay, which I compared with the internal record program's data stored during the reactivation process," he explained.
ALL FIVE make a realisation "Ahhhh..." sound.
GOURRY: Meaning...?
GECKO: Bullshitting.
"Until then the data of all Decepticons had been stored in temporarily correct sequence, but I had not the needed comparable rates, so I wasn't able to associate them to a particular Transformer..."
BROOKLYN: For once I would love to see Optimus Prime take the initiative.
"Now, you've had Megatron's energy emission pattern and have been able to find out at what point he was reactivated ," Optimus Prime realized. He started to have an unbelievable suspicion.
GECKO: Cyrway could possibly be a SNAD...
CYRWAY: You mean sick, neurotic, and demented? Hell yeah.
"Perceptor, what was Megatron's position in the row?" he asked slowly.
BROOKLYN: On top! *Looks behind the seat.* Towelie, I need more pot!
GECKO: Frig, he's an addict now!
CYRWAY: Brook, sweetie, Towelie's not real.
"He was the first...," the one in front of him answered.
GECKO: And sadly, he won't be the last....
"Matrix..." the Autobot leader whispered soundlessly.
STARSCREAM: *off-screen* I DON'T WANT TO BE GOOD!!!
CYRWAY: See? A reason for everything.
That was exactly what he had feared and hoped at the same time. The lord of the Decepticons had changed.
GECKO: "Don't be such a twit, Mother Theresa won't have shit on me! Just watch! I can change!"
Megatron was not longer the Transformer he had fought against more than hundreds of TAsecs ago. But what had happened to him?
BROOKLYN: He's gone SNAD! *Gets out of his seat and starts looking for Towelie.* Come on, I know you're around here somewhere...
Could the change be seen as something positive, or should they all be wary?
GOURRY: It's a good thing!
GIR: Can I be paranoid?
CYRWAY: Just do the universe a favour and vape him.
GECKO: You're only doing that for Starscream.
Prime nervously rubbed the bridge of his nose.
GECKO: He has a nose?
In this moment the intercom activated.
GECKO: *Blaster Voice* Pizza!
GIR: It's about time!
"Repair bay to Optimus Prime," Prowl's voice sounded a bit strained. "We have a little problem..."
CYRWAY: Grimlock's picking a fight again.
"Prime here," the demanded answered at once. "What happened?"
BROOKLYN: Don't go there. Please don't go there.
TOWELIE: *hushed* Here, dude...*giggles and hands Brooklyn a joint.*
GECKO: Dude, that was a weak Towelie impersonation.
BROOKLYN: It wasn't me, it was Towelie!
GECKO: Oh, sure, blame a fictional character for getting you addicted to pot.
"The Cons are causing difficulties. I think it's because Megatron doesn't wake up..."
CYRWAY: They're partying! YAY!!!
ALL FIVE: Hi, ho, the witch is dead, which old witch? The Wicked old witch!
Optimus Prime and Perceptor started at once.
GECKO: NO YAOI! PLEASE!!!
BROOKLYN: *takes a deep pull and makes a coughing laugh.*
"Damn and blast it!"
GECKO and CYRWAY: "All you fall by the hands of the sinner!"
Ratchet bellowed at the Decepticons' communications officer. "I've checked his systems several times, they're all okay and fully functional again. I've really no idea why he doesn't reactivate!"
GIR: He's given up the will to fight!
GOURRY: NO!!! Not Megatron! Such a kind heart doesn't deserve death!
GECKO and CYRWAY glare at GOURRY.
"You've manipulated the systems." The increased vibrato in his voice's lower frequencies showed that Soundwave was angry.
BROOKLYN: Ratchet still holds a grudge about the transwarp incident.
He clenched his fists, embittered. Most of all he was angry with himself: he had entrusted his commander, his friend, to the Autobots, and now he had fallen into a coma.
CYRWAY: "Kinda like it in a coma, cuz no one ever gonna know ya...." *an anvil falls on her head.*
"No, you walking frequency catastrophe, neither me nor Wheeljack have touched one miserable memory chip of your cursed Megatron!" Ratchet's blue optics sparkled, enraged. "On the contrary, without our help, you could etch his name in a crypt's door now!"
GECKO: Aw, just do it anyway....
Slowly, it got stuffed inside the repair bay; the argument had lured other Transformers to come closer - of both groups. There was tension in the atmosphere like in awareness of a thunderstorm; both sides were prepared for battle.
CYRWAY: Yes! It's about time! *Jumps on her seat. GIR imitates her.* Come on and fight!
What had happened? Ratchet and Wheeljack had successfully completed the work on Megatron's damages. But the Decepticon had not reactivated as he should have done. Even stimulation of the main control circuits had been without success. Megatron was still unconscious.
BROOKLYN: And the world rejoiced for small miracles.
But the real trouble started now as Hook pushed Wheeljack harshly aside to get closer for an examination of his own. The Autobots' chief engineer did absolutely not agree with the violent attack. So in return, he jostled the Constructicon into the next corner. It turned out as expected:
ALL FIVE: Bad.
GECKO: Which is good...
Blitzwing dashed to help Hook, Prowl attacked Soundwave... and shortly later, the most beautiful mass fight was in full swing.
MAIN THREE cheer loudly, rooting for their favourites.
CYRWAY: That's indeed the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. *Turns to Gecko.* All right, hand me the bomb.
GECKO: Kick their ass, Blaster!
BROOKLYN: Go, Bumblebee! Bite their kneecaps off!
GIR: WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO!!!
GOURRY: I'm so confused....
CYRWAY: Run, Starscream, run!
Rumble and Frenzy were about to stroll comfortably along the corridor when they noticed what was happening inside the repair bay.
GECKO: "Shit, they're having a party without us!"
"Hey, they're thrashin' each other!" Frenzy mentioned, surprised. "What daya think of that?"
GIR: MOSH PIT!!! *Dives off his chair and onto the floor.* Yeeeehah! I'm moshing! I'm moshing!
His brother folded his arms on his back, looked thoughtfully to the ceiling, and said finally:
"Thrashing's primitive, uncivilized 'n' a sign of bad behavior!"
GECKO: Which makes me wonder why you guys didn't start it.
Then the two looked at each other, grinning: "What are we waitin' for? Let's join 'em! Yeah!"
CYRWAY: Kick everyone's arse, boys! Including your own men!
It rustled inside the Ark like on a scrap yard in an earthquake. Here, Dirge tried to strangle Jazz;
BROOKLYN: Why you little...!
there, Shrapnel and Bombshell together attacked Slag,
GECKO: Wayward Martian has invaded this fic!
while Astrotrain was swept of his feet by Snarl's tail.
MAIN THREE: WE FOUND SNARL!!!
GOURRY: I don't get it...
GIR: I'm still moshing!
Magic somehow managed to dodge, making the way clear for Sideswipe, who was falling in her direction after being nailed to the wall by Ramjet's right hook. In the first moment she turned white as a sheet by the shock, because the incident had dragged her out of drowsy sleep. It was really a strange feeling to open one's eyes to see red plates coming your direction in horrifying fast speed. She took a deep breath and looked at the chaos around her: the science fiction version of a saloon fight.
CYRWAY: *over the scene* "And the man in the back said 'everyone attack!' and it turned into a ballroom blitz!"
GECKO and BROOKLYN: "And the girl in the corner says 'boy, I wanna know ya' and it turned into a ballroom blitz! Ballroom blitz!"
Fortunately the Transformers did not have their weapon systems back online yet. She was jolly glad about this.
GECKO: *fake British accent as he golf claps* Jolly good show!
Accompanied by Ravage, her shadow, she made her way through the repair bay, constantly being on the alert so that some really hard, edged elbows would not accidentally meet her ribs or that she would stumbled over some Transformer that had fallen down.
GOURRY: What a good dog he is!
CYRWAY: *glares at Gourry.* Gourry, dear, Ravage is a cat. A jaguar, in fact.
The unconscious Decepticon leader lay on a anti-grav stretcher which was on the other side of the room.
BROOKLYN: And he would have enjoyed the sight too....
Magic sat down beside him.
GECKO: And now, this barfight will be interrupted by a romantic interlude...
She took the hand of her unconscious mate into her own, caressing softly the black metal. It was pleasantly warm - the life-giving energon streamed through his body again, unhampered.
CYRWAY: I'm going to be sick...
BROOKLYN: And weren't you the one writing cute little Arty and Ultra Magnus WAFF fics earlier?
CYRWAY: That was peer pressure from Jenny and Neale, dear.
GECKO: Suuuuure. *Under his breath* And you killed--
CYRWAY pulls out the Lionheart gunblade from Final Fantasy VIII and slices just above Gecko's head.*
Magic closed her eyes and concentrated.
GIR: Maybe her head will explode! *Starts concentrating hard.* Eeeeeeeeeee....
BROOKLYN: *singing* "This is how we go about it, to make our heads explode tonight!"
When you held something desperately, you sometimes cramped the fingers so extremely that have difficulty opening them again afterwards. Megatron had used all his will to hold on to life, now he could not revive his consciousness again. His spirit was trapped in himself.
GECKO: "I cannot live! I cannot die! Trapped in myself, body my holding cell!"
GIR: *still concentrating.* Eeeeeeeeee....
But now the presence of his mate rubbed softly over this mental knot and it began to untie.
BROOKLYN: *takes a toke, holds it in with a laugh, and suddenly bursts out laughing.* She's rubbing his knot!
GECKO: *blinks, then guffaws with him.* Dude, you're cool when you're stoned.
The Decepticon leader's optics lit up in red light as he reactivated. Magic's beloved smile welcomed him. Even though her face was a bit darkened by dust and soot, for him, she was still the most beautiful woman in the universe.
GECKO: However, Nightbird will still be Megatron's favourite blowup doll.
Magic, I love you.
GOURRY: *starts sobbing.* Pull through, Megatron!
CYRWAY: *stares at him.* you had to be the one sensitive new age guy we pick up, didn't you, Gourry-dear?
I love you, too, Megatron.
ALL FIVE: "I don't know how to love him! I don't know why he moves me..." *stop suddenly, the screams collectively.*
GECKO: A sign of insanity: singing exerts from "Jesus Christ Superstar."
Welcome among the living... chaotics.
CYRWAY: YEEHAH!
She gestured at the wild thrashing that raved around them.
GECKO: Rave on! *Starts headbanging.*
GIR: MOSH PIT! *GECKO and GIR starts pushing each other around as BROOKLYN cheers them on.*
CYRWAY: Nothing sadder than a two-man mosh pit.
Everybody was busy embossing each other with dents and scratches into the plates that they did not realize what else happened inside the repair bay.
GIR: HATE PLAGUE!!! *Starts shoving Brooklyn.* Most pit! Hate plague mosh pit!
GECKO: Yeah! *Shoves Brooklyn as well, who finally shoves back.*
CYRWAY: Three person mosh pit. Not as, but still sad.
Megatron sat up, watched the entire thing for a moment, then he wrapped his arms around his made, and buried his face in her locks, slightly depressed.
CYRWAY: See, he wants to join them, but she won't let him.
GIR *starts yanking on Gourry's hair* Mosh with us, human! Mosh!
GOURRY: No, thank you...I don't know how.
THE MINICONS join into the mosh pit. Occasionally, GIR is thrown into the air as CYRWAY and GOURRY sit on the backs of their seats to watch the rest of the fic.
Magic, how about disappearing from here on the sly, and just let them go on beating each other's heads?
CYRWAY: I'm cool with that. No, wait!
I'm with you.
How far do you think we will get?
I fear, not further than three meters...
Megatron sighed quietly and stood up.
"Silence! At once!" he thundered across the room, drowning all sounds of fight.
*The collective mosh pit halts abruptly, the Minicons take off without a word, with GIR gnawing on Brooklyn's wing and Brooklyn choking Gecko.*
CYRWAY: Now beat people's heads in!
All of a sudden, it was perfectly quiet. Completely taken aback, the entire group of Transformers stared in his direction.
CYRWAY: Mirage, go over there and sucker punch Megatron.
"M... Megatron...?" Skywarp stammered, still a bit confused.
GECKO: Now grovel, insects, before the might of Megatron!
"I don't think that I've ordered any battle activities," the Decepticon leader stated with biting tone that allowed no contradiction. "Or does anyone has a different opinion?"
BROOKLYN: Starscream always does.
No Decepticon dared to contradict.
CYRWAY: *Starscream voice.* I beg to differ!
In this moment, Optimus Prime and Perceptor appeared inside the repair bay after their difficulty in making their way through robots who where busily beating each other.
GECKO: And Optimus looks at his men and says "Carry on..."
"Greetings, Prime," the Decepticon leader welcomed him with an experienced cynical smile. "I took the opportunity to care for some peace at your home."
"Autobots, stop any action of violence at once and regroup!" The Autobot boss ordered. "Megatron, I was informed you were unconscious..."
BROOKLYN: Oh, damn.
"Sadly, I have to disappoint you, Prime," the other replied in a slightly sarcastic way. "I function perfectly. I owe that on one side, what I had to admit, to your men, on the other to this special lady in black here..."
CYRWAY: Theresa Earnhardt?
GOURRY: Huh?
He offered Magic his hand, drawing everybody's attention to his mate. It was cute how she slightly blushed in embarrassment. Magic was such a wonderful female.
GECKO: I think after this fic I'm going to OD on some of Stormy's fics.
CYRWAY: Stormy's fics, nothing. I'm OD'ing on Furman's UK comics.
Megatron was not able to describe to anyone how good he felt to have her close to him. To feel her hand in his made his metal heart work faster.
CYRWAY whimpers, sinking into her seat.
GECKO: Can we go back to the fighting please?
The Decepticon leader looked at the rows of Transformers around them. Curiosity, suspicion, surprise - all that was written in their features.
BROOKLYN: She's a witch! Burn her!
GIR: She turned me into a human!
"Decepticons... and Autobots, too, I have an important announcement for you ," the Decepticon leader started.
GECKO: We shall impregnate all human females and raise a technorganic super race to do our bidding!
"From now on, Magic will enrich the ranks of the Decepticons by her person!"
CYRWAY: *blink* Why?
GECKO: Hey, you need to offset Chip, Spike, and Carly, you know.
CYRWAY: That's so...so...Masterforce!
An astonished whispering was in the crowd.
BROOKLYN: He must be smoking what I'm smoking.
TOWELIE: Don't forget to bring a towel! *Takes a toke, and the Popeye theme plays.*
BROOKLYN: Yo, Gecko! Look, see? He exists! *Points to Towelie.*
GECKO: Dude, you are so totally baked.
"Pardon...?"
GECKO: I said Brooklyn was totally baked--oh, wait.
"What...?"
GECKO: I said--oh, wait.
TOWELIE: Where am I?
BROOKLYN: In a theater forced to read fangirl fanfiction.
GECKO: Dude, who are you talking to?
"I think my acoustics have a malfunction..."
GECKO: I think Brooklyn's are too...Amy, he's talking to himself.
BROOKLYN: I'm talking to Towelie here!
CYRWAY: Brooklyn, that's the towel you had this morning drying your hair.
BROOKLYN: But--
"Matrix..."
MANIACAL CACKLING is heard through the theater; everyone save Cyrway seems to notice.
GECKO: What the CHOP was that?
GOURRY: It sounds evil!
CYRWAY: *starts chuckling quietly.*
BROOKLYN: Um...isn't that her WarWorld fangirl chuckle?
CYRWAY: *chuckles more.*
GIR: WARWORLD! *Runs around the seats.* Assimilate me, master!
"Why should we allow this minor flesh creature to join our ranks?" Skywarp asked pointedly, but got quiet very fast as Megatron's optics sparkled dangerously at him.
BROOKLYN: Shoot him!
GOURRY: That's not nice!<
GECKO: That's the point! No, wait! Skywarp's cool!
"Because ," the lord answered sharply, "this noble being you owe your worthless life to is my mate!"
BROOKLYN: Well, that did it in. I have no respect for Megatron any more.
CYRWAY: I never had any to begin with anyway.
GECKO: *BW/Armada Megatron voice.* It's truly a shame when my namesake was an incompetent idiot, yess...but fear not, I shall triumph where you have failed...yesssss...
The Decepticon leader's first announcement had stuck like lightning, but this had the effect of an average nuclear bomb.
GOURRY: There's such a thing as an "average" nuclear bomb?
GECKO: Say it right! "Noo-clear!"
BROOKLYN: Why not use weapons of mass destruction and cover all bases?
While there had been whispering in the crowd before, now it was replaced by loud discussions.
GIR: I WANT CHEESY POOFS!
BROOKLYN: Yeah, me too!
"Mag's... what?" Rumble asked, a bit confused by the babble.
"Well, the boss' mate!" Frenzy answered, half bellowing so that his brother was able to understand him. "His darling, his titanium mouse, his energon cubeling..."
TOWELIE: His lovely little SNAD...
BROOKLYN: His beautiful Nightbird...
GECKO: The cog in his metallic heart...
CYRWAY: *twitches, pulls out a laptop computer and starts typing.*
GOURRY: What are you doing?
CYRWAY: Must...write...fight scene...
GECKO: Who's it going to be? Arty and Magnus or Arty and Screamer?
GIR: Elita One and Jhiaxus!
"I've got it, man!" it came in return, even a bit louder. "What a pity, I thought of making her a proposal...!"
GECKO: At least you're the right size...
"You?!" Frenzy did not believe his acoustic sensors. "Man, ya got a crush on her, too?"
"Nope!" Rumble replied, sighing. "But I miss her couch..."
BROOKLYN: See? A Decepticon with his priorities straight.
GECKO: "When I think about her, I miss her couch!"
A short distance away, at the meeting's border, Sunstreaker turned up his nose, piqued.
"I've suspected that Megatron is a pervert ," he whispered at Sideswipe. "But I hadn't thought that it was that extreme..."
CYRWAY: No, Octane's the pervert, for which we love about him. *Still typing.*
BROOKLYN: It's Octane/Sandstorm slash fic, isn't it?
CYRWAY: I prefer the term shonnen ai.
"Since when, mighty Megatron, is she your...?" Astrotrain started slowly.
GECKO: Dissension in the Decepticon rank begins!
"... my mate? I suppose that's word you're looking for," the Decepticon leader answered. He wrapped an arm around Magic. There was it again, this pleasant tickle in his system as she answered his gesture, by wrapping her arm around his waist.
CYRWAY: *cries out in anguish and continues to type.*
"Yes, yes, your... mate..." the Triplechanger repeated hastily. "Since when...? I mean, was it a kind of spontaneous decision right now..."
GECKO: You're telling us.
GIR: This reeks of "As the Kitchen Sinks!"
"No, my dear Astrotrain, the decision to this bond was made some time ago.
BROOKLYN: Since when did one week constitute as plenty of time?
And it has also already been sealed!" Megatron laughed, amused that the possibility that there was a female at his side, especially an organic, did confuse so many of the present persons.
GECKO: As did his blatant sexual reference.
On the other hand, he also worried about the confusion; it could easily turn into aggression, and then Magic's life would be endangered.
CYRWAY: Poor Starscream...
GECKO: No more rides on the Hersey Highway for him and Megatron!
*Cyrway plays "Jeff Gordon is Gay" on her laptop.*
BROOKLYN: You know, it must suck to have a name like "Dick Trickle."
She had paranormal abilities, that was for sure now.
GIR: He's in it for the power!
GECKO: I think this fic is finally getting to GIR. He's making sense now.
But were they enough to defend herself when a twenty-foot-tall Transformer attacked her, when he was not near to protect her? Maybe it would have been better if he had not told about their common secret...
CYRWAY: No, really...you think? *Typing furiously.*
GECKO: *looks over her shoulder.* Hey, is that the Hentacle story with WarWorld Starscream and Artemis Prime you promised Murry?
CYRWAY: Maybe...
Automatically, he dragged his mate closer to his body.
CYRWAY: *types harder.* Must cleanse mental image!
GOURRY: Will you guys be nice? Honestly, no wonder no one likes you!
CYRWAY: I have plenty of friends....most of them guys, true...
GECKO: It's hard to find other girls who like Sideburn for his V12 Mopar engine.
CYRWAY: *starts drooling.* I'd swap paint with that Viper any day.
Don't worry, Megatron. A few Decepticons have already proven that they are friends.
BROOKLYN: At least for the moment.
He looked at her and she offered him a calming smile.
Bumblebee stood somewhere in the crowd and stared at the couple. Mag... Magic belonged to the Decepticons, to Megatron? But how could that be? She had been so helpful... Had he been deceived by her?
GECKO: Yep.
Or had Megatron deceived her?
BROOKLYN: Most likely.
What had happened...?
GIR: Giant Robot Dinosaur!
He touched his own chest.
GECKO: Sorry, BB, but it looks like you're still stuck with Spike.
All of a sudden he recognized what Megatron had needed the microsizer for: she was not able to change her size, so the Decepticon leader had to decrease.
"Prime, what do you think of all this?" Ironhide wanted to know. "Is it really clear to the small-one what she's going to engage in?"
MAIN THREE: Nope.
"I don't know," his commander answered softly.
CYRWAY: She betrayed the human race.
GOURRY: She is in love!
GECKO: Gourry, Ace has a character whom every time she falls in love, the dude ends up dead or worse.
GOURRY: That's so sad...
GECKO: Depending on how you look at it. Got rid of Ultra Magnus that way.
CYRWAY: *punches Gecko.*
GECKO: *pained* Not to mention his voice actor.
CYRWAY: *punches Gecko again.*
"In my opinion, we should get her out of this before something bad happens to her," Brawn voiced his opinion. "I don't know what Megster needs her for, but I am sure, as soon as he gets what he wants..."
BROOKLYN: Hey, the Autobots aren't dumb!
"...He's gonna get rid of her," Gears finished. "We know this malicious metal heap too well."
CYRWAY: The Autobots will save us! YAY!!!
GIR: DOOM TO ALL! *giggles*
"Yah, let's bring this bad comedy to an end, Prime," Ironhide nodded.
MAIN THREE: Coronation, Starscream? This is bad comedy!
According to the earlier experiences he had with his archenemy, Prime would have had to agree to his men and prevent the connection for the Terrestrial female's safety under all circumstances.
GECKO: SOMEONE CORRUPTED THE MATRIX!!!
GOURRY: Oh no!
CYRWAY: Optimus Primal, no doubt.
But an ancient, wise voice inside of him hindered him from doing so.
BROOKLYN: It's all Thunderwing's fault.
"No, Ironhide, we're not going to interfere ," he answered.
The other Autobots looked at him without appreciation.
"But, Prime...!" Ironhide started.
GECKO: Listen, Ironhide, we don't have enough energon to have a kegger!
GIR and CYRWAY: Awwwww....
The other interrupted him with a question.
"In your lifetime, have you ever hated someone or something?"
ARTEMIS and STARSCREAM trade insults and fire off-screen.
CYRWAY: Only true love can turn into such bitter hatred.
GOURRY: That's so sad...
CYRWAY: *brightly* Actually, it's quite fun.
"Yah, of course.... Certainly..." Ironhide stammered, taken aback. "But...?"
Optimus placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Same goes for me," he remarked. "You, me, and all Autobots are able to hate. Have you ever thought that Megatron was able to love..."
GECKO: Yep, then I sat down until the feeling went away.
"You really think Meg's got a crush on the small one?" Ironhide's jaw plate fell down first, but he managed to catch it right away, saying, "Optimus, I fear you are an incorrigible optimist..."
BROOKLYN: He is! He is!
GOURRY: Hence his name. But he does have a point.
CYRWAY: *continues typing.*
"Prime!" The Autobot boss heard someone shout his name.
He looked up. It was Megatron.
GECKO: Aw, crap, what does he want now?
"Yes?"
"Obviously, both of our groups have the same problem with their body sizes, so I want to offer you a co-operation," the Decepticon leader said seriously. "I personally guarantee
BROOKLYN: Hey, for someone whom English isn't even her second language, she can spell a word that Ace can never seem to grasp!
for a cease-fire during this time..."
"Ha!" Huffer made. "Who would believe you?"
MAIN THREE: Not us.
GOURRY: I would!
GIR: I would too, if only it meant I get to explode afterwards.
A several number of Autobots nodded in agreement.
"Yeah! It's about time that the Decepticons disappear out of the Ark! They've been here long enough now!"
GECKO: *Quickstrike voice.* Please tells me we gets to vape 'em!
"Who needs your Ark anyway, Autobot!" Thrust scolded.
"We need it..." Megatron thought.
BROOKLYN: After the Beast Wars, the Nemesis was never the same.
In the Decepticon headquarters there was no lack of skilled hands, but a lack of appropriate, scientific equipment.
CYRWAY: That was the last time TM2 Dinobot was allowed to use the equipment for a scratching post.
If they would be able to reach it in their actual state, anyway. It was depressing, but without weapon systems and with the reduced efficiency of the jets caused by their decreased size, they would probably be vanquished by a Terrestrial attack wing in a possible confrontation.
CYRWAY: *snorts* If they could pick them up on radar.
Optimus Prime told his men to be quiet and asked: "What's your opinion of how this co-operation should look like?"
GECKO: *as Megatron.* You, on your knees, at our feet, worm!
"I'll give you all data about the non system related microsizer which was the base of Bishoph's experiments, voluntarily!" Megatron answered. "The Constructicons are helping your men to find an antidote for the Gamma-Tetron- Effect. The same percentage of Decepticons and Autobots will be at disposal for possible examinations."
BROOKLYN: Autobots, Decepticons, disposal, and examinations. Is Tarantulus around?
The last subject caused a slight rumble in the ranks of the Cons, which was quickly quietened by a sharp glance from their leader.
"However, I have a condition ," Megatron continued.
GECKO: I want to see Tracks have his way with Starscream.
"You hear that?" Cliffjumper sounded.
The Decepticon leader ignored him and stated: "Free residence permit at the Ark until the work is finished!"
"I agree ," Optimus Prime answered.
CYRWAY: *as Shiela Brofovski* Wha-wha-wha-what?
"Are you mad, Prime?" Ironhide gasped, upset. "You don't really wanna let them run around here?"
GIR: Soundwave sleeps in the nude!
BROOKLYN: And Rumble and Frenzy would have parties 24/7!
"I'm gonna take the risk ," the Autobot leader confirmed his statement.
GECKO: Okay, that's it. Someone give the Matrix to Ultra Magnus right now. Oh, wait, we can't, can we?
CYRWAY punches him yet again.
The face of the other showed no appreciation.
CYRWAY: Don't blame them there.
Prime must have gone completely insane. Had he really understood what he was talking about? That, for the last thirty-four kAsecs, there had been Decepticons running around in Autobot HQ, had been controllable somehow. But now they were taking about Megatron, the Slagmaker, the most malicious, most dangerous, cruellest, most merciless mechanism that Vector Sigma had ever created -
BROOKLYN: Or was it the Combaticons?
GECKO: Constructicons.
the tyrant of Cybertron who was responsible for the death of an innumerable number of Autobots! If he gave you his word he would break it still before he had finished taking the oath.
GOURRY: He's changing his ways!
GECKO: You know, this fic confuses me in the fact that she knows how the characters should act, but they don't act as they should....
"Prime, Ironhide is right! The risk is too big ," Red Alert mentioned, already very nervous.
GECKO: There always out to get you! Run, Red Alert! They're all out to get you!
GIR: WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO!!!
"Don't forget that there is war between the Decepticons and us..."
CYRWAY: But Shockwave has united Cybertron and sent Ultra Magnus to arrest Optimus! *Pauses* Not to mention Octane and Sandstorm in the same shot.
"There was war between us, 126 TAsecs ago on Cybertron, yes," Optimus Prime.
GECKO: What? Optimus Prime what? Optimus Prime....gave me a million dollars? Optimus Prime...lost the Matrix? Optimus Prime...was bitchslapped by Elita One?
"This is an other time, an other world...
BROOKLYN: Okay, there, Tidus...
GECKO and CYRWAY: "Go now, if you want it! An other world awaits you!"
we don't know what we have to face here..."
GOURRY: Watch the cartoon!
"And at this time, I want to point out that fact that, since our reactivation, there has been no act of war from the Decepticon side," Perceptor, who knew about Prime's secret motives for his decision, remarked.
CYRWAY: You mean that Prime wants Megatron in bed with him?
BROOKLYN: Naw...Starscream.
GECKO and CYRWAY: Moonie smut! Moonie smut!
"So? And what about that action before?" Gears mentioned.
"What do you mean? Your Wheeljack started the fight!" Blitzwing mocked.
BROOKLYN: Yeah? Well, you instigated it!
"After Hook attacked me first!" the defendant replied.
And again, a hot argumentation started.
GOURRY: These guys have issues.
CYRWAY: Time to set up the Fight Club.
Magic sat down on the stretcher behind her. She placed her elbows on her knees and laid the chin in the palms of her hands. You were really about to think someone had mocked about rotten fish...
GECKO: That's what Megatron was wondering that night--
CYRWAY: *warning* Dude....
"Boys, you behave like a village full of crazy Gaulish people ," she mentioned what, in fact, just a few noticed.
BROOKLYN: She needs to learn to project her voice.
GECKO: Not to mention use terms Cybertronians would understand.
On the other hand, Megatron's "Silence!", which he thundered across the room, everybody noticed. The discussion stopped abruptly.
GECKO: *quickly* Starscream started it.
"Prime, we have a deal ," the Decepticon leader stated, accepting no contradiction. "I'm going to take care that my men will follow the rules. Take care, that you got yours under control or you are responsible for the consequences!"
CYRWAY: Let's go back to the fighting.
"No Autobot will start a battle, Megatron ," Optimus Prime answered. "We fight only in defence."
GOURRY: Good for them!
GECKO: Of course, Arty was playing hooky that day they covered that part.
No matter what they thought about this statement - there were enough Decepticons who had experienced the opposite - none of them started a discussion again because of it. The dangerous glow in Megatron's optics did not allow any argument. Only Starscream allowed himself a short, sarcastic laugh.
BROOKLYN: "This is pathetic!"
"Well, boys, you are agreed exceptionally, even if it was partly unwilling," Magi said, jumping from her seat. "Welcome to good old mother Earth!"
MAIN THREE: NOW GO HOME!!!
*INTERLUDE 11*
Chaos ensures, as the various crewmembers of the Satellite of Love rush to their battle stations. ARTEMIS stands amongst the milling crew, barking intangible orders. It takes on a cinematic quality of being in the heat of the battle, muffled, somewhat tunneled.
STARSCREAM: *voiceover, lacking echo or reverb* Pathetic. In one fell swoop, I can destroy the intruders.
*The angle turns sharply, towards the leader of the Evil Autobots, Optimus Prime, who also barking orders to his more well-oiled troops.*
STARSCREAM: *voiceover* This is my ship now.
*The Evil Autobots suddenly freeze in fear, before finally finding their feet and retreating, glancing over their shoulders in horror. The camera follows at an alarming rate, homing in on each individual Autobot. The walls suddenly melt and bend, appearing more like cross between the inside of a Borg ship and an Alien homeworld. Cables snap outward, taking hold of Autobots and drawing and quartering them without mercy. Bumblebee, Jazz, Ratchet, and Wheeljack all meet similar, grizzly fates. Then the camera turns sharply, regarding Optimus Prime, who looks downright angry, standing his ground, readying his gun--at least until Artemis Prime tackles him with a shout, wailing on him with her kali sticks.
STARSCREAM: *normal, however with more of an omnipresent sounding voice.* Dammit, Arty, you had to ruin my fun!
MALIBU: *comes before the camera, his arms across his chest, obviously unimpressed with either the battle behind him or the person now holding the camera.* Okay, give me the camcorder back, Screamer.
STARSCREAM: But this is my story! I'm recording the battle as it happens!
MALIBU: It's my camcorder.
STARSCREAM: *as Optimus pushes Artemis off him, readying his rifle; Artemis then drops her sticks, pulls out her dual pistols, and starts firing rapid shots at the intruder.* But it's my ship now!
MALIBU: I don't care. It's my camcorder. Don't make me resort to drastic measures.
STARSCREAM: Oh, what are you going to do to me? With the Creation Matrix, I am now god!
MALIBU: *turns his head to his side.* Hey, boys! Unca Screamer needs a hug!
The MINICONS appear from the left, trampling Optimus Prime as they do, and tackle the camera full force. The camera falls, now filming on its side, revealing half-filmed fights and random people walking on and off the angle, all while Starscream is shouting unheeded orders to the Minicons to get the hell off of him. After a while, Evil Starscream walks on screen, although one can only see his legs from the knees down.
EVIL STARSCREAM: Oh, look...they're playing! Aren't they just so cute?
STARSCREAM: Get them off me!
SWINDLE: *offscreen, subtitled* Hey! He's like a jungle gym now!
RUNWAY: *offscreen, subtitled* Let's really annoy him!
JETSTORM: *offscreen, subtitled* Yeah!
SONAR: *offscreen, subtitled* Let's do it!
The Minicons start beeping the tune for "The Song That Doesn't End." Starscream screams intangibly, an evil, ghastly sound that echoes through the ship, contrasting with the sounds of battle and chaos. Soon, the sounds of fighting cease, and it becomes strangely silent, save for the beeping song.
STARSCREAM: *quietly* Why...why can't I resist them...? Why can't I destroy them...? I have all this power...and I cannot rend them limb from limb...why?
EVIL STARSCREAM: You are realising the goodness within you. You are not as evil as you would like people to believe you are.
MALIBU: *as the camera is picked up, now seeing Evil Starscream full view, looking up in almost a pious and yet humbled expression.* The Creation Matrix is the embodiment of good, Starscream. You may have become a god...but a god of what...?
STARSCREAM: *whimpering off screen.* But...but I don't want to be good! *Sobs as the Minicons start beeping faster.* I can't take it any more...!
MALIBU: Being good?
STARSCREAM: That and the infernal singing!
EVIL STARSCREAM: But it's so cute!
ARTEMIS: *sulks onscreen, glaring at whatever's behind the cameraman.* Wonderful. I can already hear the Overfiend jokes from Gecko.
EVIL STARSCREAM: Has the enemy been vanquished, my love?
ARTEMIS: *sighs forcibly, her head dropping to her chest.* For the last slottin' time, I am not nor ever will be your beloved, your dark princess, your moonlit goddess, your starlight queen--so cut it out!
EVIL STARSCREAM: *obviously hurt.* I see...*dejected, as the Minicons' singing fades into the background.* I truly believed I found the one I had been searching for, only to find that she has shunned me away...why, Primus? Why must you be so cruel?
STARSCREAM: Give me a break...
EVIL STARSCREAM: *continues, sniffing occasionally.* I have been searching for my one true love for countless millennia, that strong, independent femme who would win my heart and show me who I really am--
ARTEMIS: *without changing her slumped, tired posture, brings one pistol to his forehead and cocks the hammer.* Keep up the monologue and I'll show you the quickest way to your heart...
QUATRE: *Stepping in front of the camera.* Well, the bad guys have been quelled, Starscream's learned the importance of friendship--
STARSCREAM: --What?!
QUATRE: --And no one was severely hurt by this.
CUT TO Washu, who had put the Evil Autobots Starscream pulled apart back together again.
WASHU: There you, are, good as new.
MECHA-WASHU: *runs across the screen, cackling maniacally as she carries a jar of peanut butter in front of her* At last! The crunchiest brand! I shall take over the world with you!
QUATRE: I think we all learned a valuable lesson today.
DAVIS: *enters stage left, juggling the soccer ball on his knees as he does* What, that we shouldn't pick on SNADs because the Autobots in their fics are much worse?
QUATRE: No, the importance of team work.
BASS: *with a dish of ice cream, follows Davis.* Anyone seen my crunchy peanut butter?
QUATRE: How we can all work as a team to accomplish a common goal.
TASUKI: *offscreen* Washu took off with my underwear!
WASHU: *also offscreen* That wasn't me, Red.
QUATRE: And, most important, the power of love.
EVIL STARSCREAM: *lets out a sob and sulks offscreen.* I hate my life!
ARTEMIS: *Comes to the foreground, falls on her butt, and crosses her arms over her knees.* He took it rather well.
DAVIS: So why did you break it off? After all, he was nice and treated you like gold.
ARTEMIS: *falls onto her back and crosses a leg over her knee.* Yeah, but he agreed with everything I said. I need a little conflict to spice up my life.
STARSCREAM: I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted by that comment.
ARTEMIS: I wasn't referring to you, Gigerhead.
STARSCREAM: Huh...?
ARTEMIS: Well, if everything's taken care of, Arin, you have the comm. *Stands to leave.* I'm curious to see what's taking the others so long.