By TC

One enchanted evening…

Megatron: Diarrhea, I never told you how much I loved you.

Starscream: Yeah you did, a few minutes ago before we started rolling.

Megatron: SHADDAP!

Diarrhea: *GIGGLE* Meggy, I love you so much.

Megatron: I love you, too, shmoopie.

Diarrhea: I love you too, pumpkin.

They suck face.

Megatron breaks the kiss, gazing lovingly into Diarrhea’s optics.

Diarrhea: What is it, my love?

Megatron: My little babykins?

Diarrhea: Hmmm?

Megatron: Let’s go on an evening flight.

Diarrhea. *SIGH* Oh, Meggy!

They take off to an excluded place. Megatron admires the way the sun sinks into Diarrhea’s brown paint, giving her usual turd brown colour a bloody tint--bloody diarrhea!

Megatron stares at Diarrhea. He cannot believe his good fortune to have such a beautiful, powerful femmebot as his main squeeze. How did he ever get along without her? He didn’t want to think about that. All that mattered was that she was here, right now.

Megatron: *Sigh* I love you so much, Diarrhea.

Diarrhea: Oh, Megatron!

Megatron takes Diarrhea’s hand, and just gaze into each other’s optics for a long time.

Megatron: Ah, this world, this life…*SOB!*

Diarrhea is surprised; she did not believe that Megatron had any positive feelings towards Earth.

Megatron: Diarrhea…I’m sorry. I must be strong, cannot let my emotions overflow…

Diarrhea: It’s all right, Meggy. You can let it all out with me.

Megatron: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Megatron sobs on Diarrhea’s shoulder. Diarrhea is comforted because the Decepticon leader trusts her enough to share his feelings with her. Suddenly…

*BARF!*

Diarrhea: You hear that?

Megatron: What?

Diarrhea: Sounds like an Autobot!

Megatron: Sounds like an Autobot with bad stomach flu.

*REEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!*

Diarrhea: It DOES sound like that! Where is it coming from?!

Megatron: Search me.

*BLAM!*

Diarrhea: What the hell was THAT?!

Author: Excuse me!

Megatron: Huh? What do you want?

Author: I apologize for the interruption. Ladies and Gentlemen, we’re gonna have to end this fanfic. Everyone is throwing up and committing suicide…

*HURL!*

*BOOM!*

Author: …right on my new shoes. Say goodnight, you two.

Megatron: *SIGH* Very well. Goodnight, everybody. (Gives Diarrhea a kiss on the cheek)

Diarrhea: GIGGLE Goodnight, everyone! (Kisses Megatron on the mouth. They suck face)

*BLEEAAAAGHH!!*

*BLAM!*

*REEAAAAAAAAGGGH!*

Half of the audience drowns in a sea of vomit; the other half blows their brains out.

THE END!