Just when you thought it was over…

Hi, TC here. We had some fun re-writing Our favorite Mary Sue fics, did we? However, due to a terrible lapse in judgment, we decided to try this again. Behold…

Con Base!

Bloodstone: HMPH! Damn daughter of Megatron fucking up my plans! They shall pay for kicking me off the Aerial Femme Team!

*A ghost appears*

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Blooooooodclot…

Bloodstone: Master?

Obi-Wan: Yes, it’s me, Bloodclot! I have an important message to send you!

Bloodclot: Well?

Obi-Wan: I have come to tell you to…

Jacob Marley: SCROOOOOOOOOOOOGE!

Obi-Wan: GET OUTTA HERE!

Marley: Sorry…

Obi-Wan: Bloodclot, you have The Force! Remember your Jedi Knight powers!

Bloodstone: That’s right! I AM a Jedi Knight! How could I forget?

Obi-wan: How the hell it could be forgotten about only to be brought up here is a better question.

Bloodclot: Hmph. Thank you, Master! I shall now rule the Decepticons! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Galvatron: Nice try.

Meanwhile…

Star Ruby is reading the kid a bedtime story.

Megster: OK Mommy, weed this.

Star Ruby: See…Spot…roon?

Megster: Run, mommy. You’re doing gweat!

Star Ruby chuckles because she is finally grasping the concept of reading.

Star Ruby: Lemme try this, Megster…what’s that word, honey?

Megster: A.

Then again…

Megster: HEY! Get off my mommy’s back!

Brat.

Megabrat: OK Mommy, that’s enough for today. I’m sleepy. SNORE!

Star Ruby: Aww…he’s so cute! Wish Reflector was here to take some photos.

Reflector: We are!

Star Ruby: Ever since the second season, they just ran off. Wonder where they went?

Reflector: We didn’t go anywhere!

Star Ruby: Oh well. I miss them.

Reflector: HEY! Bitch!

Ruby leaves the nursery. In Megatron‘s office…

Megatron: Oh yeah, that’s it, baby. Let me see those hooters!

Starscream wearing padding: GROAN

Megatron: Hey, the only entertainment I have since I’ve been shackled down. How are those eight-inch slutboots holding up?

Starscream: *snrk*

Megatron: What’s so damn funny?

Starscream: Eight inches…bigger than you!

Megatron: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *blasts Starscream*

back at the HQ…

Deathangel: How was your reading lesson, Ruby?

Star Ruby: Not bad. The Cat in the Hat is still giving me a pain.

Deathangel: Oh?

Star Ruby: Not the book. I thought Ravage would look so cute in that type of hat, but when I tried to put one on him, he bit me!

Deathangel: Ooh.

Star Ruby: Now…I’m supposed to be doing something…

Deathangel: He’s in his study?

Star Ruby: Huh? What are you talking about?

Deathangel: Megatron…he’s your husband…you do him…?

Star Ruby: …

Deathangel: Forget it!

Steve the Camera Guy: (off-screen) You’re supposed to be worried about something, Ruby!

Star Ruby: I am? Oh! That’s right! GROAN Damn cramps…

Steve: NOT THAT! Bloodstone! *hands Star Ruby a script*

Deathangel: What good is that going to do? She can’t read!

CLUNK!

Deathangel: OW!

Star Ruby is handed a neon sign that says “SOMETHING IS BOTHERING ME”

Star Ruby: Anyway…oh that’s right! Something is bothering me!

Deathangel: [sarcasm] You don’t say. [/sarcasm] Tell me, Wise One, what is bothering you.

Star Ruby: Oh I can’t be that wise. Not as wise as my Meggy. Tee-hee!

Deathangel: GRR Just what the fuck is the problem?

Bloodstone: I am!

Star Ruby: GASP! What have you done!

Bloodstone: MWAHAHAHAHA! I have gotten in touch with my Jedi powers. I am invincible!

Star Ruby: No, I mean why are you wearing that cloak? It hides your form and the boys won’t ask you out.

Deathangel: Oh for fuck’s sake…KILL HER, BLOODSTONE!

Bloodstone: BWAAAAAAAA! *lunges about and fights Ruby*

Megatron walks in.

Megatron: WHOA BABY! My bitches are fighting over me again! BOO-YA!

Star Ruby: Oh Meggy, you’re so funny. But actually, Bloodstone has her JEDI POWERS back.

Megatron: Say WHAT?!

Bloodstone: Feel my wrath, Megatron! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bloodstone kicks Megatron’s ass.

Star Ruby: NOOO! My Meggy-Woo!

All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Megatron mutters something incoherently.

Star Ruby: What’s that my love?

Megatron: I said kill my dumb wife, Bloodstone!

All: YAY!

Star Ruby: HUH?

Bloodstone: Kiss your ass goodbye, sister!

Star Ruby: Deathangel! Fire up the WABAC Machine and prevent Bloodstone from meeting the Jedi Masters. Otherwise Megatron and I will die.

Deathangel: Gee, that’s a tough decision.

Star Ruby: JUST DO IT!

Deathangel: But I don’t really want to.

Astrotrain: But if you don’t, Bloodstone will stay a bitch and I won’t score!

Megatron: (sits up) Astrotrain getting some! HAHAHAHAHA!

Star Ruby: Aren’t you supposed to be hurt?

Megatron: Oh yeah. (falls back down)

Megatron dies. Star Ruby dies.

Everyone: YAAAAAAAAAY!

Deathangel: Boy that was tough. Either be led by two lovesick dolts or a psycho bitch. I’d take psycho bitch any day.

Soundwave: No shit.

Bloodclot: WOOO!

Astrotrain: WAAAAAAA! Now I’ll never score!

Blitzwing: Guess you and the hand are gonna elope, huh?

*CLUNK*

Blitzwing: OW!

Deathangel: Thank Primus this is over and I’m just a one shot-deal.

Hehehehehehee…

Deathangel: RIGHT?

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Deathabngel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Astrotrain: Fuck this , I’m outta here.