That's a loaded statement!
People just amaze me. So
many people are getting married.
It may be a long engagement or
a short one. They might like
each other or they might not.
Like and love are different you
know. How many people do you
know, that argue too much? How
many people do you know that
think once the wedding takes
place, their spouses will change?
Maybe they can even change that
spouse to be more fun? More
caring? More loyal? Let's do
one better. Less abusive?
I spoke with someone a couple of
weeks ago. She said that she has
about had it with her fiance... or
did he tell her that he's had
enough. It's the same thing
actually. She went on and on about
how he does this and he does that.
And on and on telling me about
what he said about her annoyances,
etc. Finally I had enough. The
same things were repeated over and
over. I asked her, "can you accept
him, for who he is right now? Are
you willing to give up your
annoyances for him, in the things
that he does? Are you willing to
accept him, all of him? The good,
the bad and the ugly?" Her response?
"No, he needs to change, because he
doesn't have to be the way he is."
I asked her if "he is content in the
person that he is." She responded
with "yes, but he has to change."
I've heard things like this from
so many people. It doesn't make
sense at all. Not at all!
When I asked my friend "What are
the things that attracted you to
him?" Her response, basicly said
that everything that he is attracted
her. That now they've been together,
she's realizing that alot of things
are annoying her. So his positive
areas, which were so enticing, now
need to stop.
I don't understand how fickle people
can be. Why must people try to mold
others to their way of life? Why
can't we allow our mates to be who
they are? After all, so many of
that persons habits, actions, etc...,
were what turned us on to the person.
Why must we try to change it? Why
can't we accept them for who they are?
Here's one... Let's say that her
fiance found some faults in her. It
bothered him when she did or said
certain things. How does she react
when confronted? Defensive! How
dare he say that about her, that's
something else that he needs to
change!!!
Poor guy, I really do feel for him.
We now know, that for her to be happy,
he has to change. He has to give up
tinkering on the car. He needs to
take care of her kids more often and
to help with the dishes. I guess I
should have asked her if he needs
permission to go to the bathroom too!
Okay, I'll put the sarcasm away.
Are they still planning on getting
married? You bet. Is she willing
to accept him for who he is? Nope.
Is he still planning on marrying her?
He's not saying either way.
People, let's be real. We are, each
our own person. We are the person
that God created. We all have a
good side and a bad (meaning kinks to
work out of our own lives). How much
of yourself are you willing to change
for your partner? What is it going
to take for you to accept your partner
as himself/herself? Are you willing
to let the faults be between him/her
and God? You see, God is the only one
with the right and promise to judge.
If you really love the person, then you
must love all of the person. You can
only change yourself. That's all.
If you can't accept the person in whole
for who he/she is, don't get married,
it wouldn't be fair to either of you.
We do have a page called "Unconditional
Love" that tells how Jesus wants us to
be. I hope you read it.
