Psssst, Did You Hear About...
...Sally? She's seeing another guy,
what happened to John? ...Jane?
She was at a support group. I didn't
know about her... Did you know about
some of her problems? You should hear
about Sue. She comes to our support
group too, boy is she screwed up. I
was worried about Tracey, she's a
gossip you know. I could hear her
telling everybody about who was there.

Look at that kid. His name is John
Doe. His parents always hang out at
the bar. He's bad news, always in
trouble. Why can't his parents see
that he's no good, somebody should
do something!

Did you hear about Dick & Jane? I
hear that he's been having an affair.
I don't think she knows about it
because they're still living together.
He's slick, but she's really dumb.

Does any of this sound familiar?
Have you heard other people talk
like this? I'm sure you have.
How about you? Could any of these
conversations have come from your
own mouth? Be honest here. I know
that you and I dont want to claim
that we gossip, tell stories, talk
about people, etc... you got the
picture? It's really sad that there
is so little respect for humanity.
Do you like to hear these things said
about you? Of course not. But you
never say things like this? Think
about it. Be honest about it. I'm
sure that you have, actually, I'm
positive that you have. Possibly not
realizing that you have. I've maybe
even heard you!

Okay, I'll be real here for just a
moment. Sure, I like to know what's
going on in the world. Gossip makes
great conversation. I can use the
excuse that I'm only telling about
someone else because I don't want my
listener to get burned. You know what
though? I have lots to talk about.
Often I do hear things direct from
the person. Why? Because I don't
repeat what I hear!

What purpose does it solve for one to
talk to another person about someone
else? Do you think that you are
helping Sue by talking about her?
How so? Would you like Sue saying
that you come to that support group?
Would you like her to repeat the
things that she heard you say?
Probably not. Back to the previous
question. Do you think that you are
helping Sue by talking about her, by
telling what you are finding out
about her? By saying that she comes
to a support group? The answer to
that is NO! The only thing that
will come out of that is people are
hearing about Sue. There is NO excuse
for that conversation. Sue deserves
our respect. Sue should be able to
talk about anything that she needs to
say, without fear of having others out-
side of the group know about what she
has said. Even knowing that she was
there!!! Besides, what gives you or me
the right to judge her, her life, her
problems, etc? That's what we do though
isn't it! There is NO right! None!
She comes to talk to us because she is
seeking a place to release some of her
pain. By coming to our group, she is
trusting you, me, and the others. Did
you hear me? She is trusting US!!!
If we are going to talk about her
afterwards, maybe we should tell her in
advance not to trust us, then we aren't
setting her up for a letdown. Heck,
maybe the support group should be
cancelled. What purpose will a support
group have, if people need to fear
speaking about what they need to
talk about?

John Doe, sure he's having difficulties.
He comes from a disfunctional family.
Is gossiping about them going to help
their problems? No! Think of
this, the gossip, may cause him
additional hardships, and his parents
additional guilt. How else can we add
onto the burden of this family? It's
time to wake up people!

Think about this. How much of what is
being repeated is actually true? Tom,
Dick & Harry said it does that make it
right? Let's see, Tom told Dick who
told Harry, who told you that this is so.
Believable? NOT The story changes
everytime it's told. So how much is truth
and how much is a lie? How about this?
You heard the words at the support group
straight out of Sue's mouth, so you can't
get it wrong, right? WRONG. Maybe
Sue isn't be sharing the whole story,
maybe she's only saying what she Trusts to
share. Hmmm imagine that! Then do we come
up with an ending to her story? It seems
that too often, people are trying to figure
things all out, to solve the problems of the
world! So anything that you repeat is not
necessarily accurate.

Regardless, I was never given the right
to judge another person. Okay, yes I
was. Satan has given me permission to do
so. He likes us to share with others,
things that will lead to destruction!
Then any amount of trust that one person
may have is diminished greatly, maybe
even completely. Satan wants you to help
destroy the other person. You probably
don't realize, with a little bit of
gossip that you are being destructive
and a liar! You have no right to judge
another person. Yet that's what you're
doing with your little bit of gossip.
You're destroying that person. There's
only one person/a trinity who has the
right to judge, can you guess who that
is? God the Father, God the Son, and
God the Holy Spirit! For those in
this world that choose to challenge
even that wording: God the Father,
the Creator of all; Jesus Christ, Son
of the Living God; and the Holy Spirit!

You think I'm coming down on you too
hard here? Sorry, I disagree. I don't
think that I can be hard enough or even
more sincere. Remember the time that
you were talking, and it was obvious
that you really did care about Jane. You
told Ann that "If she wouldn't have done
what she did, she wouldn't feel like such
a loser". Honestly, is this something
that you should be talking with someone
outside of the support group? You know
words do travel and it has come back here.
What happened to Jane will not affect you.
It has nothing to do with you. Nothing at
all! Jane was talking about some of her
pain because she needs a safe place to
discuss it. With people that she trusts!
Remember, we talked about that a little
while ago. When you discuss Jane to
anyone outside of the support group, or
even to her face, not only are you
betraying her trust; you are actually
destroying some of who she is! You are
judging her! What right do you have to
do so? Never thought about it before?
Then it definitely is time. We were not
born to judge others. God created all
equal. Judging others was not part of
our being. Satan is the one who puts
that into your life. Every time that
you choose to judge, betray, talk against,
you are destroying that person. It
doesn't seem fair that I am saying this?
Why? Am I judging you? No, I'm not
calling you by name. If any minute part
of you is in question or defense, I would
say guilty! I am not wanting to bring
anyone down here, you see, the purpose of
this web page is to help you and others
realize what a little bit of honest, innocent
gossip can do and how harmful it is. I need
to talk to people that I can trust. I need
to know that others do care. If I can't
find that, there is no purpose. When I see
a person face to face the eyes do show alot
of things. Pain, guilt, remorse, love,
concern... If I could see in your eyes,
what would I read there?

Remember, you have NO right to judge
others. Just like I have no right to judge
you. You see, this is between you and God.
Not you and me. Is this something that you
need to confess? Is this something that you
need to seek forgiveness for? Is this some-
thing that the Holy Spirit needs to help you
with? You see He's who you need to turn to.
You can't hide guilt, pain or even gossip
from Him, for He knows and hears all things.
Knowing that He is here, looking over your
shoulder... you tell me.

Proverbs 25:18 Like a club or a sword
or a sharp arrow, is the man who gives false
testimony about his neighbor. Lying(false
testimony) is vicious. It's effects can be
as permanent as those of a stab wound. The
next time you are tempted to pass on a bit
of gossip, imagine yourself stabbing the
victim of your remarks with a sword. This
image may shock you into silence.

2 Thessalonians 3:11,12 We hear that some
among you are idle. They are not busy; they
are busybodies. Such people we command and
urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down
and earn the bread they eat. And as for you,
brother, never tire of doing what is right.
A busybody is a gossip. An idle person who
doesn't work ends up filling his or her time
with less then helpful activities like gossip.
Rumors and hearsay are tantalizing, exciting
to hear, and make us feel like insiders. But
they tear people down. If you often find
yourself in other peoples business, you may
be underemployed. Look for a task to do for
Christ and your family and get to work.

Psalms 57:4 I am in the midst of lions;
I lie among ravenous beasts - men whose
teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues
are sharp as swords. At times, we may be
surrounded by people who gossip about us
or criticize us. Verbal cruelty can damage
us as bad as physical abuse. Rather then
answering with hateful words we, like David,
can talk with God about the problem.

Gosh, if I would have started with Scripture
I wouldn't have had to think up a single word on
my own. I'm glad I did though. Why? Because I
was being obedient to God, and His plan for me,
for this day and this page!