how to last longer sexually
the start and stop technique
Many men complain of premature ejaculation. The good news is that this problem tends to respond to sex therapy. Clearly, if you are reading this tip, you may be thinking about this issue, but not ready to go to a sex therapist for information and help. If that is the case, then you have come to the right location. The next series of tips are devoted to what steps you will take for yourself so that you too can learn how to maintain an erection and look at some proven ejaculation dysfunction solutions.
In case you are wondering what exactly is a premature ejaculator, it is a person who on a regular basis ejaculates before he and his partner are satisfied. In other words, lovemaking (penal-vaginal or anal intercourse) is disappointing. According to Helen Kaplan, "the essence of prematurely is lack of adequate voluntary control over the ejaculatory reflex". These men experience ejaculation continence. Thus, it follows that men who prematurely ejaculate have not learned to recognize the pre-cursor sensations to ejaculation. This can be seen as similar to a young child learning to control her/his bladder. In the beginning children do not recognize the signal (s) that their body is giving them about the degree to which their bladder is full until it is too late. As a child ages, she/he develops an awareness of when she/he needs to urinate, control of bladder muscles and an understanding that the more liquid consumed, the greater the need to urinate.
A typical adult male not only has relative control over the timing of when he lets himself urinate, but when he lets himself ejaculate. Yet, as a human, there are times when even the man with the best control finds himself in a long car ride with a desperate need to urinate and is forced to pull over to the side of the road to relieve himself, or extremely sexually turned on and ejaculates before he ideally would like to. It happens. This only becomes problematic when the loss of control happens frequently enough to impair your day-to-day life. Recognizing the sensation (s) of the pre-cursory signs for the need to urinate or ejaculate are critical to the treatment process.
There are two primary treatment methodologies for premature ejaculation the Stop & Start Method & the Squeeze Technique. Personally I prefer the stop & start technique. I believe that it is easier to learn and has fewer ways to go wrong. I will focus on two ways that the stop & start technique is taught. For the sake of explaining both techniques, I will explain it to you as if you are in a heterosexual relationship. Clearly some of you are in a homosexual relationship, single, or just plain curious. If this is the case, then even if the wording feels awkward to you, the information will be useful for you.
Word of Caution Both techniques are male in focus. The exercises centers around pleasuring the male. Many women will get a lot of pleasure also because in the long run they will be able to start to be better satisfied because their partner's erection will be maintained. Second he will feel better about himself in bed, and thus she will derive pleasure from his positive energy. Do note, that because the exercises are male focused, that at times the female will need her time for direct sexual pleasuring. This may mean giving her manual, oral, vaginal & anal stimulation prior to beginning each exercise or doing it afterwards, or alternating days. In the beginning the two of you may be so excited to begin that this feels like a non-issue. But, for most couples whom I have worked with this issue does surface. Therefore, the two of you should take some time now to discuss how the helping partner (the female) will have her needs sexually satisfied (i.e. oral sex, masturbation...) throughout the formal set of exercises that you are both about to embark upon.
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