Tokémon
Episode 1: "Freakachu I Lose To You!"

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* Satsujin means “to murder”, but it is used here to mean the same as satsujinhan, "murderer."

{Young, actually 10 year old, Ketchup Satsujin was sleeping, dreaming about the Tokémon he would choose tomorrow, to become the world’s best Tokémon trainer!}

{Anyway he keeps talking in his sleep, when he throws his clock at the wall on accident...}

Satsujin: What time is it?!!!! Damn, late!

{Then he runs clutching his blue cap with the letter “T” on it, to Prof. Poisonivy’s little house}

Satsujin: Am I late?

Poison: Yes, you are Satsujin....but I saved a Tokémon just for you....

{He looks at the cans that the Tokémon are in}

{He throws one}

Satsujin: Surely a Kazid... {a lizard fire type}

{Nothing comes out of the can} Satsujin: Damn! Maybe I got a Nerdgame! {A turtle water type}

{Nothing!}

Satsujin: F*ck! Maybe a Fushisaur!

{Nothing}

Poison: Oh Satsujin! No, someone took them all!

Satsujin: SH**!!!

{Satsujin starts strangling Poisonivy}

Poison: {gagged} But, I have one-more....!!!!

Satsujin: {stops strangling Poisonivy}What is it!? Where is it?!

{A yellow-electric type comes out of a bin}

Satsujin: What the fuc...?!!!

Poisonivy: It’s name is Freakachu! It’s a electric mouse...sort of.

Satsujin: I’m gonna kill you!

Poisonivy: Better not, because someone else might want this Tokémon...

Satsujin: Fine! I’ll take the damn thing!

{Satsujin runs off with Freakachu, and past his mother}

Satsujin: Bye MOM!!! {thinks} You big whore!

{They come to a clearing...}

Satsujin: Freakachu, I hate you! You stupid Tokémon!

{Freakachu shocks Satsujin}

Satsujin: What the hell? Hmm....anyway I wonder what this thing is I cobbed from Poisonivy’s lab....

{He holds up a red computer thing with a green button}

Computer voice: I’m your Toké Zudex! I can tell you what Tokémon you are looking at! I belong to Satsujin!

Satsujin: This is better than a Tokémon...well better than Freakachu!

{We see a bird in the distance}

Zudex: Point me at the bird!

{Satsujin points him at the bird}

Zudex: This bird is Spearoni, a angry stupid bird!

{The bird hears this and starts attacking Satsujin...Freakachu shocks the bird}

Satsujin: Good work Freakachu! {thinks} I’ll use this son of a glitch to get me Tokémon!

{Then thousands of Spearoni attack Satsujin, and Freakachu}

Satsujin: Freakachu kill them!!!

{Freakachu does nothing}

Satsujin: Well “F” you then!!!!!

{Satsujin runs crushing a bike}

Girl: Hey! My name is Pissty! You’re paying Satsujin!!

{He keeps running}

{Satsujin turns to face the Spearoni}

Satsujin: You know who I am!!! I’m...

{He twists his hat around to fifty sides before he finds the right place}

Satsujin: SATSUJIN!!!! So, Spearoni! Face me!!! Freakachu, get in the Tokécan! Save yourself!

{Freakachu jumps on Satsujin’s shoulder....}

Satsujin: What are you doing???? Don’t kill me!!!

{Then jumps off, and shocks all the Spearoni}

Satsujin: You did it, Freakachu!!! Now, Toké can!!!!

{He throws the can}

Narrator: Now that Satsujin has got his first Tokémon, he is off!

THE END