Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and all its characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

A big, empty void.

That was what her life had become.

Her eyes were distant as she stared out the window of the bus, watching as the people and buildings sped by in a blur in front of her eyes. Finally, summer break was over, and she was going back to school. Back to college.

Not that she didn't want to see her family. Her family missed her and often demanded that she come home more often, but school was so far away that she'd had to live on campus, and that meant she could come back to Nerima only in the summer when school let out. But she had deliberately chosen a school far away from home. There were just too many painful memories in store for her here.

It was bad enough, those last two years of high school, when she would wander the streets of Nerima and see reflections of him everywhere she looked. At that time, she had been frantic to get away from Nerima. She just needed a break, she'd assured herself, so that she could put the memories behind her. Then, she could come back, and not feel the searing emptiness whenever she saw the familiar sights of her hometown.

That had been three years ago. After a year in college, where she had busied herself with schoolwork and some extra-curricular activities, she'd thought she was finally over him. She'd even been looking forward to coming home for the summer. She'd missed her family.

But as she'd walked up the street and stepped up to the Tendo dojo, the memories had come crashing over her like a tidal wave. She hadn't forgotten him at all. She'd only been keeping herself so busy that she'd had no time to think about him anymore, but he was still there, still in her mind and in her heart, and the hole in her heart was no closer to being healed.

This year was no exception. Even after five years, thinking of him and how he had left her still brought her the same sense of utter desolation. Even in her own home, memories assaulted her - memories of her chasing him through the halls, studying with him in her room, or watching him sparring with his father before breakfast...

But this year, it was different. Somehow, it was even worse. Because this year, Kasumi had finally married Dr. Tofu.

She was happy for her sister. No one had thought that Dr. Tofu would finally get over his nervousness enough to propose marriage to Kasumi. But he had. Theirs was a long and steady relationship, but it had taken a couple of years before Kasumi finally felt ready to leave her family, so that she could pursue her own happiness with Dr. Tofu.

There was a time when she had fancied herself in love with the young doctor, but now, with age's wisdom, she knew that it was just a child's adulation for a wiser, older man. Those were foolish times, those days, for she hadn't really known what it was like to be in love until it was too late.

It really was pathetic, she thought. She'd had to watch him walk away, out of her life, before she finally realized that she'd loved him. By then, it was too late.

But even if it hadn't been, would it have mattered?

She sighed. Dealing with the ghosts of her past was always difficult, but this time... Maybe it was because of the wedding. Maybe it was because her sister seemed so happy. Maybe it was envy at the ease with which Dr. Tofu and Kasumi's relationship had progressed.

If only it had been that easy between her and Ranma...

The bus steered towards the train station and slowed to a stop. Akane got to her feet and slung her backpack over her shoulder, and got off the bus along with the other passengers.

She walked briskly through the station, working her way through small crowds of people. An elderly woman, tears running down her cheeks as she hugged a young man holding a suitcase. A child's voice, shouting "Daddy!" And a man, briefcase in hand, arms held out to embrace the little boy.

The train station - the stage of real-life, human drama. For countless hours she'd spent here, waiting to board her train, she'd witnessed more emotionally-charged moments in here than in any soap opera she'd ever watched - tearful goodbyes, joyous reunions...

But Akane... she was always alone. She preferred to say her goodbyes at home and make her way to the station by herself. Not that any goodbye from her family could possibly be more devastating than...

No, she was not going to think about *that* again, she told herself. Akane took a seat beside a well-dressed woman in her late thirties. She put her backpack down beside her feet and pulled a thin paperback novel from the bag. A quick glance at her wristwatch told her that she had almost another hour to wait before her train would arrive.

Fifteen minutes later, she set the novel down with a defeated sigh. There was no way she could concentrate on anything right now. The trip home always did this to her, and the journey back to school was invariably the worst. Specifically, the minutes she spent in the train station, as she watched people of different ages exchange tearful goodbyes. There were heartfelt apologies, promises to write, a final embrace before they parted... Here, the sense of sadness hung over them like a thick cloud. Here, more than in any other place, the memory of his farewell always came back to haunt her.

*I can't marry you, Akane...*

*I guess I'll never see you again. Goodbye.*

A familiar heavy feeling settled in her heart, but there were no tears in her eyes - she'd cried them all, during the next few days after his departure. After that, she'd gathered her resolve and picked up the remains of her life, and resumed her life where she'd left it off, but life was so much different, without Saotome Ranma in it. So... normal. So... empty...

Wishes do come true, she thought. How many times had she wished she'd never laid eyes on Saotome Ranma? He used to make her so angry, and she'd hit him over his head, shouting...

"Baka!"

Akane's head snapped up, surprised by the sharp tone in the female voice. She automatically turned her head in the direction of the voice, and she saw a young couple, obviously in disagreement.

"If you're too stubborn to listen to reason, then I give up!" the young man exploded, glaring angrily at the young woman in front of him.

"Are you implying that it's my fault?" the girl snapped, her eyes blazing.

The guy threw up his hands. "Maybe!"

"Bastard! I never want to see you again!" The girl swung her hand and slapped the man soundly.

*SLAP!*

The sound of it brought another memory to Akane, one that had changed her life irrevocably.

****

"I-I'm sorry, Ranma."

"I understand," he said softly, avoiding her gaze. "I won't bother you anymore. Goodbye, Akane.."

Just like that, he left.

****

How could he do that? How could he just turn around and leave her forever, and forget everything they had been through together? How could he bear to push her out of his life, just like that?

Akane felt tears sting her eyes briefly. Odd, she hadn't cried over *this* in years...

Oh gods, she'd loved him so much! How could he not love her?

Akane bent forward and buried her face in her hands. Oh, if she could just go back in time, go back and do that one thing over again... if only things had been different...

... if Shinnosuke hadn't been so sick...

... if Ranma hadn't pushed him into a fight...

... if she hadn't seen the raw brutality blazing in his eyes, if Shinnosuke hadn't fainted, if she hadn't rushed forward in a blind panic, slapped him, trying desperately to keep him from hurting Shinnosuke...

She remembered the feel of the wind lapping against her face, remembered feeling the blood pulsing in her veins as she ran... drawing back her arm, feeling her hand crash into Ranma's face...

She remembered the stricken look on his face, the way his eyes widened, his entire body frozen in midstep... He'd taken much worse from her before, they both knew it, but as she'd watched his eyes blank out, shutting her out completely, she had known with a certainty that no other blow she'd landed on him hurt him as much as this one had...

She remembered the blank look in his eyes, as he'd said goodbye... remembered watching him leave, tears welling in her eyes... She'd wanted to go after him, try to soothe the aching pain he'd been trying to hide behind a blank stare... more than anything else, she'd wanted to tell him the truth, but he hadn't let her, he'd left just like that, and there was no way she could have gone after him, leaving Shinnosuke alone and unconscious...

... if only she hadn't let him go like that, with an awful misunderstanding between them...

If only...

... if... only...

****

"I'm home!"

Akane looked around her. The house seemed so... quiet. Where was everybody?

She started to head up the stairs to her room. From behind, she heard footsteps coming up to her.

"Akane?"

She turned. Her sisters were standing behind her. Akane managed a wan smile. "Hey sis," she said. "I'm back."

Kasumi gave her a warm smile. "I'm glad you're home, Akane," she told her.

Akane looked at her middle sister. Nabiki was looking at her with an odd glint in her eyes. "What?" she said defensively.

"Where were you?" Nabiki asked.

"I left a note," Akane began. "I went to Ryu..."

Nabiki waved a hand dismissively. "I know that. But what took you this long? Ranma's already home."

Akane's eyes widened at that. "He is? Excuse me, I..."

"Akane."

Perhaps it was the gentle insistence in her sister's voice, or the vague trace of anxiety she'd sensed since stepping through the door of her own home. Whatever it was, despite Akane's desire to find Ranma right away, she turned.

Both her sisters were watching her solemnly. "What?" Akane asked, unnerved by their combined stares.

"Did something happen in Ryugenzawa?" Nabiki asked.

"He... uh..." She felt her face flush. "Nothing happened!"

"Oh yeah?" Nabiki crossed her arms over her chest, surveying the rosy blush creeping up Akane's cheeks. "Whatever it was, it must have been pretty heavy."

"Look, nothing happened, okay?" Akane insisted. "There was a little... misunderstanding. But I'm on my way to fix that right now." She turned to start up the staircase.

"Akane, wait." Kasumi's eyes were filled with concern. "Akane, Ranma's leaving."

Her eyes widened, her hand gripping the banister. "What?! But why?"

Nabiki nodded. "He just came back himself. Daddy and Uncle Saotome are out shopping. Ranma just came in and announced he's leaving tonight, and then he went upstairs to his room. He's still there."

Akane felt a tremor run through her body. "I have to talk to him." Without another word, she turned and dashed up the stairs.

Her sisters looked at each other. "What do you suppose that was about?" Nabiki wondered aloud.

****

After depositing her things in her room, Akane crossed the hall to Ranma's room. The door was closed, but she heard the sounds of movement from inside the room. She knocked once, softly.

There was no answer. After a moment's hesitation, she slid the door open.

Ranma was sitting in the center of the room. His backpack lay open in front of him, and Akane watched him pick up a couple of Chinese shirts and stuff them into the bag.

Turning slowly, she slid the door closed behind her, and turned back to look at Ranma. He didn't even turn around, or acknowledge her presence. But he knew she was there - she was sure of it.

"Ranma?" she tried again.

This time, he paused. Without turning, he said, "Yeah?"

Encouraged by his reply, she stepped closer to him. "Kasumi said you were leaving?"

"Yeah."

Somehow, hearing it from him brought a ring of finality to the words. Akane struggled for the right words. "But- but why?"

Finally, he turned. Akane looked into his eyes, shadowed by his dark bangs, and tried a different tack. "Why did you come to Ryugenzawa, Ranma?"

If he was surprised by the change of topics, he didn't show it. He shrugged. "Your dad asked me to."

*Bullied him into it is more like it,* Akane thought, but she kept the thought to herself. Instead, she said, "Did you leave after I... I... that is, I..." She felt her cheeks warm with color.

He glanced at her, his eyes expressionless. "After you hit me?"

She reddened. She'd hit him countless times before, but somehow, this seemed different. "Yes."

"Yeah." He turned.

The little niggling doubt in Akane's heart came to mind, and she voiced it. "Did you... I mean, is it because of Shinnosuke?"

He didn't reply, but Akane thought she saw the telltale tensing of his shoulders. Akane's heart swelled with tenderness. "Ranma-" she said breathlessly.

"No."

Akane blinked, surprised. "What?"

He turned again to face her. "No," he repeated. "Of course not. Why would you think that?"

She stared at him, her eyes widening. "Ranma..."

"I thought about a lot of things, on my way home," Ranma said, almost casually. "It was high-time we did that, right, Akane? Really sat down and thought about what we really wanted."

He looked at her, but she just stared at him silently, so he continued, "And I decided I had the right to choose how I want to live my life, who I want to marry. And I wanted all of us to have that freedom. After all, it's not fair to let all you girls to put your lives on hold while waiting for me to make a decision, right?"

*No,* Akane thought mindlessly, as she stared at him, her eyes disbelieving. *He couldn't be... Oh gods, please, no...*

He looked up at her. "I've decided to break the engagements. All of them," he added hastily.

"All of them?" Akane repeated numbly.

"Yeah," he said softly. "Shampoo, and Kodachi, and -" His eyes closed for a moment. "And Ucchan, too. I owe it to all of you girls, to tell you myself."

"But why? Why all of a sudden?"

"It's not all of a sudden," he said quietly. "I've thought about it for a long time. This... it isn't fair, not to any one of us. I have no right to tie you down to me, Akane, not when you - *we* - have always protested our engagement." His voice lowered. "And especially not now, when I would get in the way of your happiness with Shinnosuke. I have no right to ask that of you."

*Oh God,* Akane thought. *He really does think...*

"I'll talk to our dads," he told her. "I'll make it clear it was *my* choice. I'm sure it'll all work out." He started to get up.

"Wait." The word escaped from her lips, almost like a prayer for help. Akane closed her eyes. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears, her mind filled with a whirl of mixed emotions. She had sometimes daydreamed about what it would be like, when she and Ranma finally sat down and talked about their future. But this was nothing like she'd ever imagined.

There were so many things to tell him. He thought she was in love with *Shinnosuke*?! He was breaking their engagement?! And then, he was going to leave, he was going to walk out of her life forever...

In her heart, Akane knew she had to stop him. What would her life be without Ranma? What would happen to all her dreams of their future, of spending their entire lives together? What would happen to all the things they'd do together, all the things they'd mean to each other?

How could she let him leave like this, with an awful misunderstanding between them? How could she let him leave, without knowing that she... she... How could she ever tell him now?!

But she knew one thing - she had to stop him. How would she ever get the chance to tell him the truth, if he walked out of her life forever?

She opened her eyes, and Ranma was still standing, staring at her with a concerned look in his eyes. Akane took a deep breath.

"Ranma, you don't have to leave," Akane said finally. "I understand about... about everything you said. You're right, it is time we worked out this mess."

"You do?"

"Yes," she said, her voice rising in desperation. "I'll help you talk with our dads - it's only fair. We... we'll tell them we don't want to get married. And then you can work it out with Shampoo and Ukyou and Kodachi. But you don't have to leave," she repeated. "You can still stay here. Nothing has to change. We'll still go to school together, we can be ... we'll just be friends."

"Friends?" echoed Ranma.

"Friends," Akane repeated. "Just friends, without having to worry about rivals, fiancees, pushy parents... In fact, we're already friends now, aren't we?"

"Why are you doing this, Akane?" he asked her, softly.

"You don't have to leave," she insisted. "Our engagements are too much to handle right now - I can accept that. But..." Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Can't you let me hope, that someday... maybe, someday..." She trailed off, as she looked at him, trying to smile, her eyes imploring.

He stared back, his eyes infinitely sad. "I... I can't marry you, Akane."

The smile slid from her face. "Oh." Akane closed her eyes. This was, above all, her worst nightmare. He'd probably met someone else, she thought dazedly. She'd always taken for granted that Ranma would choose her one day, that they will live happily ever after. She'd always thought they had all the time in the world. Now she'd lost him, and she didn't even get the chance to fight for him.

She fought down the lump in her throat. *I will not cry,* she thought.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"Don't be." She tried to smile again. She was probably a glutton for punishment, but... She wanted to know. "Are you in love with anyone else?"

"Does it matter?"

She shook her head. "No. No, of course not. You're right, of course. We should all be free to choose." That was it, then, she thought. He didn't love her, he had never loved her. But he was still looking at her with *that* look in his eyes, just like a kicked puppy, and even though he didn't love her and he'd just broken her heart, idiot that she was, she hated seeing him sad. She wanted him to be happy.

Even if his happiness was not with her.

"So," she said, breaking the awkward silence. "I guess this is goodbye." She held out her hand.

He clasped her hand tightly. "Goodbye," he repeated.

She let her fingers curl around his hand, and she held it for a moment longer, refusing to think of how perfectly her hand fit in his. And then she forced herself to let go.

****

They went down the stairs together, just like strangers walking beside each other down a hall. The talk with their fathers was uneventful. As expected, Soun and Genma put up a fight, but even they knew they never really had a chance. In the end, the entire family stood outside the front gate, to say their final goodbyes.

"Take care, Ranma," Kasumi said, as she pushed a wrapped box into his hands. "I made you some lunch for your trip."

"Thanks, Kasumi," he said, smiling at her.

"Gee, tough guy, what about all the money you owe me?" Nabiki asked.

He snorted. "You'll earn it back with all the pictures you're selling of me."

"True." Nabiki smirked. "Especially with the money we'll be saving without you and your friends wrecking our house."

"I don't know why you're in such a hurry to leave," Genma grumbled. "An old man needs his rest."

"I ain't asking you to come, old man," Ranma told him. "Behave yourself, and..." A look of sadness flitted across his face. "And look after Mom, okay?" Genma shut up at the mention of his wife.

Ranma shook Soun's hand. "Thanks, Mr. Tendo."

"You're always welcome in our home, son," he told Ranma. "Engaged or not, you're part of the family now."

Ranma smiled. "Thanks." Finally, he came to Akane. He looked at her and smiled, and Akane thought her heart would break. *Don't smile at me like that,* she thought silently. *Don't make this harder for me, please.*

"Thank you, Akane," he said simply.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat. "You're welcome." What else could she possibly say? "Take care."

"You, too."

With one last look, he turned and walked away, and Akane stared after him, until he turned the corner and disappeared from her life forever. He didn't even turn around for a last look.

Finally, she crumpled to the ground, her entire body shaking with sobs.

****

"Gate 3 now boarding... Passengers, please proceed to gate 3..."

The loud voice from the speakers jolted Akane from her memories. After a quick look at her watch, she stood up and hoisted her bag over her shoulder.

There was no use thinking about *that* again, she told herself, blinking back the wetness in her eyes. She'd cried more than enough tears for him. Once, she'd thought she'd never live through a day without him. But days had stretched into weeks, and finally, years... It was long past time to move on with her life.

She sighed heavily. If only it was that easy. It wasn't as if she hadn't *tried*. But no man she'd ever met had ever made her feel quite the same way as she'd once felt for Ranma. No one had even come close.

Akane handed her ticket to the gate attendant and walked past her, going straight down the hall to Platform 3, to board her train.

And even if she met someone she could love again, would it ever be enough? Enough to finally be able to think about Ranma, without having to feel the sting of a fresh wound?

Love couldn't be rushed, it just happened. Akane knew that. But how long was she going to have to wait?

Akane stood beside a crowd of teenagers, slinging her backpack off her shoulder to set it on the ground while she waited for her train. A raucous burst of laughter erupted from the group beside her, and for a moment, Akane longed again for the carefree joys of youth, without the pains of adulthood, regrets, and love lost.

Her gaze strayed towards the crowds of people waiting to board the trains. Directly opposite her was another platform, where another train bound for a different destination was due soon. Her eyes scanned the groups of people. A young married couple with a baby. A well-dressed man carrying a suitcase. An old woman standing beside a little girl, who was holding her hand...

A gust of wind blew past her face, and Akane ran a hand through her short hair as the train came into the station, blocking her view of the people on the opposite platform. She watched as the doors opened, and passengers got off the train, before the people waiting on the platforms began to board.

A thin cry of a buzzer filled the air, as the doors started to close. Finally, the train started to move. Akane watched as it picked up speed, and sped steadily down the tracks, leaving behind only the sound of faint whir of its engines.

Beside her, some people shifted impatiently, looking at their watches. Their train was a little delayed, it seemed. But Akane was in no hurry. School wouldn't be starting until tomorrow morning. She let her gaze stray back to the crowd, wondering if there was someone else in this crowd who knew the pain of heartbreak and love lost, as she did.

A pretty woman checking her makeup in a compact... A stooped old man, wearing an old fishing hat on his head... A young man in a sharp sports jacket, the sunlight glinting on his dark glasses... Another young man, with his back turned to her, a huge backpack slung effortlessly over his shoulders... He was wearing pants, and a... black Chinese shirt...

Akane felt the blood drain from her face. Around her, the murmur of voices faded to background noise.

... thick dark hair, pulled back in a pigtail which fell past his shoulders...

"Ranma?"

As if he had heard her, he looked up... and their eyes met across the tracks.

Time seemed to screech to a halt. Even the people around them, the sound of their voices, seemed to fade away into the background. It was just the two of them, seeing each other for the first time in five years.

And he looked so familiar, Akane thought achingly. Older, more relaxed, but there was still that confident glint in his eyes, his easy, fluid grace...

Just then, her train came into the station, a loud, steady horn announcing its arrival. It screeched to a stop in front of her, blocking her view. Just before Ranma disappeared from her sight, she thought she saw his mouth open, calling her name...

She craned her neck, trying to see past the bodies shifting inside the train. Someone jolted her shoulder roughly, and she stepped out of the way.

Finally, the doors closed, and the train blasted its way out of the station. Akane quickly scanned the opposite crowd, her eyes passing quickly over the unfamiliar faces... But there was no sign of a pigtail, no Chinese shirt. Her heart felt heavy with disappointment...

From somewhere behind her, someone called her name. Her breath caught in her throat, and she turned around, slowly, deliberately, almost afraid to hope...

There he was, standing right in front of her. But Akane just stood there, drinking in the sight of him. His beautiful blue-gray eyes, his familiar, athletic build, radiating strength and confidence. His hair, black and unruly, hanging over his eyes...

For five years, in her weakest moments, she'd dreamed of this, of being able to see him again, and finally tell him what he'd meant to her, what he'd *always* meant to her, all these years... Of how empty she'd felt without him, and how she'd waited for a love, a love so strong and enduring, it would completely eclipse those feelings she'd once had for him, so long ago...

And then, he smiled... And Akane felt hope bloom in her heart.

Maybe she wouldn't have to wait after all.

****

Notes:

This fanfic is in draft mode only.

This story was inspired by the song "MY LOVE" By Westlife. Certain passages in this fanfic have been inspired by the ff. works: "The Shadow Chronicles," by Mark MacKinnon.

Thanks for everyone who sent me C&C in the first draft of this story. As you've undoubtedly noticed, this fanfic is an "alternate future" concept. What if Ranma left Ryugenzawa after Akane slapped him?

References to the Ryugenzawa arc in this story have been taken from volume 25-26 of the manga, NOT from the anime.

More comments/explanations to come after Part 2.

Thanks for reading.

****

MY LOVE - by Westlife

An empty street, an empty house, a hole inside my heart.
I'm all alone, the rooms are getting smaller.
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are,
The days we had, the songs we sang together.

And all my love, I'm holding on forever,
reaching for the love that seems so far.

So I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there,
where the skies are blue, to see you once again, my love.
Over seas and coast to coast, to find the place I love the most,
where the fields are green, to see you once again, my love.

I try to read, I go to work, I'm laughing with my friends,
but I can't stop to keep myself from thinking.
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are,
the days we had, the songs we sang together.

And all my love, I'm holding on forever,
reaching for the love that seems so far.

So I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there,
where the skies are blue, to see you once again, my love.
Over seas and coast to coast, to find the place I love the most,
where the fields are green, to see you once again, my love.

To hold you in my arms, to promise you my love,
To tell you from the heart, the love I'm thinking of.
(Reaching for the love that seems so far...)

So I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there,
where the skies are blue, to see you once again, my love.
Over seas and coast to coast, to find the place I love the most,
where the fields are green, to see you once again, my love.

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