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**Author's note: This one was probably recorded sometime in August. I'm not sure actually. Truth is, I just found this tape in a drawer and thought I might share it with the world. This was during my insecure months. Yes, more insecure than I am now. Don't argue, just read. Anyway, enjoy.
Yeah, you try to make sense out of everything. Murder, natural disaters, all sorts of stuff. Then you try to make sense out of. . . out of loving someone. Sometimes it's not clear. I can't figure out why I love Rachel. I'm figuring then it'll be alot easier to tell her that I do love her. And not just in words, but in actions. Cause I want her to know it, I really do. I don't even know what else to say. It's pretty pathetic. . . If I could tell her, I'd tell her that she is my best friend and that when you find something you love, you've got to try to hang on to it, not let it just slip away. If you let it slip, then it's gone and there's nothing you can do about it. I hope she doesn't get the notion to let me slip. I don't think I want to be rejected again, well, I KNOW I DON'T WANT to be rejected, but I don't need to be rejected again. Not over something pety. And I'm scared. I'm scared because I'm afraid Rachel is going to drift away from me. Once she gets to know me, gets to know that I'm not a great person. And I ish I was, but I can't be. It's just not, not me. So I'll live with that. It's not the worst thing to be, a bad person, it's not the worst thing. It's not, by far, the best thing, but it's not the worst.
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