"Fallen"
Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.
I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
Chapter XIII “twin flames”
Part II “the exchange”
Since Buffy and Angelus found nothing on Sunnydale, they got back home after Buffy went with Joyce to the hospital. Faith and Wesley showed up in Las Vegas after a thorough investigation and they had returned to Sunnyhell after being interrogated. They had not being kidnapped after all—turns out they were on an assignment from the Council. Nobody thought they could have eloped, but doubt of their true motive was there all the same. Spike and Dru had stayed in Sunnyhell to keep track of the Initiative and as soon as they found out something, they would call W&H and assemble the army for a war. The Initiative’s Headquarters
“Doctor Walsh, they told me downstairs you wanted too see me?” Doctor Townsend was the pharmaceutical technician that saw all the pill dosages and drug administration for the soldiers in the department, Riley among them.
“Yes, through our behavioral investigation we came across an important finding that might affect your work.” Doctor Townsend frowned and managed not to sound astonished about her words. “What kind of finding?”
Maggie Walsh took another look at her chart and spoke confidently. “The drugs we have been administrating to the soldiers to boost their performance …have a side effect”
“What kind of side effect?” asked the doc, genuinely concerned.
“Schizophrenia, psychosis and generally altered behavior, increasing with higher concentrations into clinical insanity and dementia. So, I think you should change the recipe or tone it down at least, especially Riley’s. I noticed he’s very aggressive lately. We can’t afford to lose them right now, that would be catastrophic.”
Doctor Townsend could not at the moment change Riley’s drugs drastically, since he could have an attack of withdraw syndrome and go insane, and that was precisely the problem they were trying to avoid.
“I’ll fix that, Doctor Walsh.”
Maggie nodded and went back to work on her projects.
Little did they know that the one that was really losing it…wasn’t Riley.
Lowell House, UC Sunydale
“I missed you, darling.” Faith straightened her back and wiped her chin and mouth off of Riley’s sperm as she rose from her crouching ‘69’ position above her boyfriend’s crotch.
“I know. It’s your turn now, boy.” She turned around and offered her sex to his mouth, sitting right on top of his face. Riley used his shoulders to keep the bleached-blonde Slayer on position to perform cunnilingus satisfactorily.
“If you do it good, I’ll let you torture another vampire.” As this offer reached his brain, he made even better use of his tongue. The Slayer moaned loudly before riding him for her much deserved release.
Several minutes after…
“Give me another one of those pill of yours. You wouldn’t believe how high they get me—in Las Vegas, I killed 10 vampires with only one stake. You should have seen how I ripped their heads off! They exploded so nicely, screaming like gutted pigs! I showed them real good the power of a Slayer!” Riley handed her a pill and a glass of water as he dressed himself.
“Sounds like fun. Too bad the Council put you on probation for that. Seems to me like you were doing your job.” She had been, but to her ill luck Wesley had gotten hurt there and several of the ‘vampires’ had actually been plain demons—two of them non-violent ones. But that didn’t matter to Faith. They were all evil to her.
“Those motherfuckers know shit about vampires! They think it’s ‘ok’ to let demons live as long as they don’t kill for living. I tell you they are all the same, bunch of disgusting filthy creatures of the night.” As Riley went to bathroom to wash his face, Faith took another pill of his super drugs and swallowed quickly before he could notice.
“You’re right. That’s why we work so hard to keep them down in the Initiative. Come now, baby. We’re gonna go get something to eat.”
Faith put her leather pants and t-shirt back on and walked away with Riley following right behind her.
February 15th, LA (back to Buffy’s point of view)
Here I was. Human again.
There’s not much to say about that, except that I didn’t expect it. I was already getting used to the idea of immortality and blood as food. I actually had developed a system to define good and evil, with lots of people in between those categories.
I had even given up on children.
But it all went down on Thanksgiving. I became human again. Not just a Slayer but a fleshy, alive, and hungry human. And so did Angelus. Later on we found out it had happened because of the Mohras, but little did we know about its consequences then.
As I walked down the aisles of W&H, I realized Moonlight was following me, her tail waving happily behind me. It amazed me because she usually spent her days in the air ducts, hunting mice and generally being petted by most demons around.
But today she only had eyes for me. Every once in a while she would brush her head against my calf and mewl in contentment—god only knows why—now, was no different to other times in the company. Except I was coming to meet my ‘friend’ Faith who was supposedly coming to pay me a ‘friendly visit’, and let’s just say I was suspicious of her.
Only a few months ago I had visited Sunnyhell for Logan, he had been baptized shortly after we rescued him from the clutches of the evil Glutton—disgusting thing lived off babies! Then when I had visited my mother two weeks after that, she had announced to me she was having brain surgery!
I think it’s safe to say I nearly had a stroke myself. She said it wasn’t anything to be worried about, but a brain tumor is something I worried A LOT about.
But thank God it all turned out well.
And then there was the Bloody Initiative, which was getting insistently on my nerves, specially something called Adam. Apparently I would have a heck of a lot of business in Sunnyhell this season. With all that coming back and forth, I was almost a resident again. Which also concurred with the prophetic readings of Lorne, that so colorfully presented ‘expect the unexpected’ to me just before leaving to my hometown.
In a nutshell: I had work to do.
Which made me wonder why Faith wanted to waste a whole day in LA just for the sake of ‘visiting old friends’. Uust to quote Cordelia in this one, I said ‘ hello, weird much!’ Shortly after doubling in the corner, Willow caught up with me and nodded to me in encouragement. Inside the crystal doors was Faith, with Harmony and Cordelia, having a meaningless discussion, probably about hairstyles or nail polish…
+++
Earlier…
“Faith, I think you must turn yourself down. This thing you did was an accident. Wesley was just trying to help you get over your issues. Even if the police never understand what you are, they would see how clearly perturbed you were,…really it’s for the best”
“It’s for the best! You stay away from me Giles, or I will kill you too! I will not go to the council or the police! Don’t you see how they are? They wanna shut me inside a lab and use me as a guinea pig! I won’t let them! You’re with them, aren’t you?!”
“You are forcing me to call Buffy again”
“And you are forcing me to do this…”
“You are gonna pay for this Faith!”
“No, I wont. And you are never gonna get me ever again.”
+++
“Hello, Faith. Long time no see.” I never fail to be amazed of how Faith has completely replaced me—at least physically speaking. She has dyed her hair blonde, lost at least 20 pounds, and appears to be even social.
“Tell me about it, B. How’s the big guy doing?” Angelus shares this concern of mine for her visit. He says, ‘I don’t like this, it creeps me out’ through the link, even though he is in New York. He is never really away from me, more so lately.
“He’s in New York. He had some business there…let’s cut the bullshit, Faith. Why are you here?” Cordelia and Harmony decided to stay sitting beside Faith and they both looked at me daggers for being rude.
“I thought it would be nice to pay you a friendly visit, B. Man everybody is suspicious now days!”
Willow looked at me as she crossed her arms and sat beside me. Her eyes spelled clearly ‘with much reason.’ Everything Faith did was a reason of concern, and everything Faith did too close to Buffy was cause of serious panicking.
“I suppose you’d want something to drink then?” Angelus seemed to be more alert than usual, almost at the edge of something. His sixth sense was acting out. He had even changed into his vampire visage to probe. He was ready to pounce.
“Yeah, B. I’d love some wine…some fancy shit, you know.” I can’t seem to imagine a reason why Faith would be asking me alcohol at noon, except some major cause of celebration. She had none as far as I was concerned.
“Harmony, would you please bring us some champagne?” But still, crossing her would make me a target and psycho Slayers were not on my agenda.
“You are not the boss, Buff. I think you should get it yourself.”
I was genuinely shocked and so were Angelus and Willow. Even if I was no longer a vampire, I was still highest in rank. She clearly was asking for punishment with that outburst.
“Thanks, Harmony. Remind me to let Willow discipline you later.” She didn’t cringe and that warned me. Something was definitely up with them. I sat upright, stiffening my back. She looked at me directly in the eye, a clear challenge in the world of vampires, and that simply gave them away. There was a conspiracy. I rose and moved as quickly as I could to the door, but Faith caught up with me.
“Where are you going, B.? I just got here. Besides, I have something to show you, something real nice.” She roughly pushed me towards the window and Willow reacted placing herself between us.
“What is it?” asked Willow. Faith forcefully showed her out of the way with her elbow. The vampiress snarled and before she could lunge, something extreme happened.
“Something you’d never expected.”
A light so strong it blinded me exploded in Faith’s hand. A swift change so radical I couldn’t believe what my eyes were seeing. Myself and then Willow trying to kill me.
“Get off me! Help! Heeellllpppp!” I screamed for help and I realize something was seriously wrong with my voice. Then something that looked just like me pushed me with supernatural strength through the window and into the thin air to which I fell into for a time that seemed like forever.
+++
“My god, Buffy! You just killed Faith! Where did you get that gun?” In the confusion of Buffy’s fall, Faith had pointed a gun to Harmony’s head and walked through security without being stopped.
But both Cordelia and Willow had thought it was extremely odd. There was no reason why Buffy should try to kidnap Harmony and that made them aware of a change they couldn’t process yet.
“Get away from me, Cordelia! And you too Red! Watch out—you might get burned.” Cordelia got closer to the window and noticed Faith had fallen through the crystal roof of the greenhouse in the west side of the W&H. From the 20th floor Faith’s body seemed like a fly on the wall. Promptly Cordelia called security to get a medical team there.
“Buffy, get back here! What are you gonna do with Harmony?” Willow had gone in pursuit of Buffy, thinking already of calling Spike and Angelus as soon as she could get a phone.
“Discipline her! Now GET AWAY FROM ME!” Through the hall lots of bystanders kept watching with various faces of disbelief and amusement on how she was being carried away.
“Stop this nonsense! You know you could hurt the baby!” Willow noticed her sire was walking straight backwards into a broken elevator and managed to get Doyle to step behind her as Security was meeting at the place.
“Everything is alright now, Mistress. You can drop her. We’ll make sure she gets punished for betraying you.” Faith reluctantly let go of Harmony but Willow was touching her and ruffling her hair out of her face in a most disconcertingly intimate way.
“Are you ok, Buffy? You look so pale. It’s ok. You are both safe now. You know Angelus would kill us if something happened to you or the baby” Willow had placed a reassuring hand on Buffy’s belly and Faith looked down on it with grand dismay.
“I’m pregnant?!”
Both Willow and Doyle laughed thinking it was ridiculous to be in denial in the third month of gestation.
“Don’t be funny, Buffy. Angelus is gonna be so pissed when he arrives.”
Faith noticed that Buffy was indeed very different from the last time she had seen her. Her hair was darker and her skin looked fairly perfect. In fact, it almost glowed with health. She had gained at least ten pounds more and her breasts were a lot bigger that usual. Putting everything aside, she looked damn sexy.
“You got that one right.” Faith did not waste any more time talking. She quickly walked away from them and got into the working elevator.
Riley had been waiting for her in the lobby, but when she arrived the lobby had been cleared. All inside the building were being questioned about the failed attempt to attack Buffy.
Faith didn’t want to linger there, so she just snuck out through one of the emergency exits—forgetting Riley, money, or any other issue pressing her at the moment. Nobody would dare get in Buffy’s way, so she just walked out of the building feeling the smell of freedom in the air.