RATING: PG
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Looking back, it was supposed to be the night that she got rid of him forever. The night when she killed the monster with her Angel's face. Her Angel. The man, demon, whatever you wanted to call him. To her he had been her refuge, her sanity, her love. But it ended on her 17th birthday and her Angel disappeared into her dreams and those myths of a perfect love. Now she was left with the imperfection that was her love's other self. His true demon. And God help her, she was still sickly attracted to him.
She had rationalized that he looked too much like her Angel to be really bad. It was all a bad dream. It was a test. But then Angelus would do something that would drag her into the reality she was forced to live in and make her face the horrible truth. He was as different from her Angel as night was to day. And she still wanted the night. She still wanted Angelus. Her mind would tell her he was an evil, vindictive monster, but her heart would say he was Angel. Her heart always won.
After a while she no longer cared who he was. She was the Slayer and he was now definitely her enemy. Wasn't he? He did things to provoke her. Entering her private circle and trying to kill her friends, her family. But all that did was make her hesitate more. He was the enemy...no he was Angel. Angel. Enemy. After a time the lines became so blurred she didn't care as long as she knew he was still around. As long as she knew he was alive, so was she.
It was a few months into the new school year. Angelus had been very quiet for the last few weeks. Instead of alarming her, she worried. And not the kind of worrying she should have been doing. She should have been worrying what his latest plan was, but instead her thoughts centered on whether he was okay. Then she would panic, surely she would now if Angelus was dead, their souls being tied for better or for much, much worse.
She ducked everyone's worried looks and played the dutiful slayer. She welcomed the new slayer, Faith, Kendra's replacement. Kendra having died in a battle against Spike sometime last year. Spike and Dru skipped after that, leaving Angelus to rule the roost by himself. And rule it he did. The vamps more together under his leadership, more deadly. No mistakes were allowed.
So Giles trained her and Faith hard that day never knowing that the only thing through his blond slayer's mind was the whereabouts of her Angelus. Her demon. She bit and kicked and punched and staked, all the while wondering if he was okay and sickly if he needed her. Finally Giles took her aside and told her what she dreaded hearing.
"Buffy, tonight's the night. I am sending both you and Faith out. Tonight Angelus must die. He has been so quiet. It's a perfect lull. A time to surprise him and rid the world of the demon." Her Watcher told her.
She knew he was right. Hell it was far past the time when Angelus should have died. But dammit he was her kill and no other slayer was going to touch her man. Angel. Angelus. It didn't matter what his name was. He was her mate and dammit she would be the one to kill him, not some wet behind the ears, second rate slayer. No one messed with her man. No matter what face he showed.
"I'll do it Giles." Buffy told him. She walked over to the weapons locker and took out the crossbow. The one Angel had tempted her to kill him with so long ago. "Angelus is my problem. Only I know the solution."
Giles and Faith both tried to protest. She heard nothing they said. And in the end she left the library after securing a promise that she would be allowed to handle it her way. The looks they both gave, made her feel like a betrayer to her calling. The both knew. She wouldn't be able to kill the demon with her lover's face. Yet she held up her bluff till the end. And in the end it was their respect for her that let her leave the library alone. If she failed, then another day, if she succeeded, well then party.
She left the warmth of the school halls and the moment the cold night air hit her skin she turned and ran towards the mansion. And the monster it held inside. Her lover. Her tormentor. Her soulmate. She raced like all the dogs of hell were on her tail. She feared for him and of him. But still she had to see him. Even if it was to end his existence and her own.
As she neared the mansion she realized she could never leave him and he would never let her go. They were bound through love, hate, passion. Through life, undead or otherwise. She didn't stop running until she had entered the small garden and her breath caught in her throat. He stood there, his hard back pressed against the mansion wall, his strong arms folded over his chest. But it was his face that made her throat catch. His eyes were so black and his lips were turned into a smirk that made her heart stop. He had been expecting her.
"Hello Baby. I've missed you." And with that he pushed himself from the wall and grabbed her in a bruising grip. His lips descended on hers forcing her small mouth to accept his hard, demanding kiss. He kissed her roughly and without mercy or care for her need for air. It was only when she stared to pound on his back with all her strength did he pull back. He smiled down and said, "Now the real fun begins Slayer."
AUTHOR'S NOTES: "Becoming" never occurs and Buffy never left Sunnydale. Instead she stayed and has continuously been tormented by Angelus.