SUMMARY: Buffy and Angelus decide to watch a movie that explains them in a nutshell. Shagging, cursing, EVIL, pretty blond...Oh Behave
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"Angelus I'm BORED. Come on, let's see a movie. There is a cool movie out called Austin Power: The Spy Who Shagged Me. It's suppose to be big with the funny.
"I don't do funny. I'm all about 'shagging'; what a crude way of calling sex. Anyway, I just don't think this whole laughing thing is me dear heart."
"OMG! You're embarressed! You think your laugh is funky! I know you do, 'cause the one time I heard you laugh out loud your face went to a color not even white and you went and crawled in your hole and disappeared for the rest of the night."
"I AM NOT embarressed. And what hole? I just went in my car, so what if it's kinda dark?"
"That car could be a mausoleum! Where the hell did you get that car? And why do you always go there when you don't wanna talk? Oh nevermind, the point is you're coming. Okay when is it-"
"Oh so now with the orders. Angelus does not take orders."
"Then Buffy moves back in with mother."
"You wouldn't. You like it here, it's your damn house!"
"So is that house, I'm getting tired of your authentic bloody mary's too. I'm fucking sick of cleaning that damn mess up."
"FINE" he said under clenched teeth. He hated when she got her way!
"Yay I win. Oh! The movie starts in 15 minutes! We better haul ass!"
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In the theater:
"Don't be so uncomfortable! This is going to be fun! I keep telling you your laugh is original. I mean my laugh is like yours, just not so booming."
"Make me feel better. What the hell is that?"
"That's the big boy Dr. Evil was frozen in!"
"Dr. Evil?", snicker, "That's kinda funny, he thinks he's evil? This outta be interesting!"
The Jerry Springer Scene
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA quasi evil!! Margerine Evil!! That is so damn funny! Hey Buffy, you're the diet Coke of evil!" Angelus snickered. He was gonna use all those phrases on Buffy; she was not as evil as Angelus but she does kill and she just conned him---so she isn't all white sheets either. He was gonna call her the diet coke of evil for a while.
"Hehehe. Funny baby, really, but maybe you shouldn't be so loud about it..."
"Aww come on Buff, you said I could let it go, and I am---I'm having fun!" He immediately stopped talking when he saw Buffy's glossy smile---staring at the cutest guy he had ever seen! He had black, spikey hair like him, but with blue tips, and he was cursing out some guest of Jerry's.
It was Seth Green. This made Angelus mad that she was drooling over a guy in front of him, but then Dr. Evil did his duck runover to the guest and cursed him out and all thoughts vanished and what was replaced was pure entertainment. This was what he was missing. Dr. Evil.
"Buff, I have a sudden urge to buy the first Autsin, Dr. Evil is in it right, I mean RIGHT?"
"Oh yes, he is. And you know what? Seth Green is too, I think we should get it. For comedy of course, only for the comedy."
DEDICATION: To Claudia, She listened to me ramble on my caffeine high brainstorming and threw in some good ideas and advice. Thanks Sweetie!