It feels great to wake up and not know what day it is, doesn't it?

Atheists are people who have no invisible means of support

Think of hummingbirds as the flying penises of flowers

I'm not wearing any underwear

YOU kill it --- I'm bitter

We don't take shit from a machine

Five is a demon

Don't be completely sure of anything, that way lies Order

Time is a spiral, space is a curve, I know you get dizzy but try not to lose your nerve

All suspects are innocent until proven Discordian in a Court of Chaos

If you were everyone but one person I would listen to everyone else

Guns don't kill people, I do

Oh, fuck! You did it just like I told you to!

Death without pain is like a sundae without sprinkles

Could I interest you in a pet rock?

Do it for the Widow's Son

I don't believe in reason, objective reality or collective farming

A much-discussed alternative to homogeneous big-bang nucleosynthesis has been the first-order quark-hadron phase-transition-inspired inhomogeneous model

Life is ours. We live it our way

Humans sure have a strange way of dying

I'm fond of children --- except for boys

History: an account of mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, brought about by rulers mostly knaves and soilders mostly fools

The Heirophant is Disguised and Confused

What do you want me to do, learn to stutter?

The Earth Will Shake

Thou shall not misspell thine neurotransmitters

Jesus loves you. everyone else thinks you're an asshole

Hard drugs make me a better person

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat

You cannot lie to me. I know everything

Cannibalism is a small price to pay for popularity

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as long as a week sometimes to make it up

Study demonology with an enemy this Sunday

Question reality

Do you ever get the feelings of Deja Vu?

Do you ever get the feelings of Deja Vu?

Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space

Some men are discovered; others are found out

Death is an illusion. Life is a hallucination. Taxes are objective reality

See side panel for exciting recipe ideas

It's all in the mind, ya know

Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive

Hey, I have an idea! Let's go spray paint some cars in Singapore!

Of course I still love you. Now stop whining and let me shoot you.