Horror Movie Survival Guide
When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if its really dead.
If you find out that your house is built upon a cemetary, was once a church that was used for black masses,
had previous inhabitants that went mad, committed suicide, died in some horrible fashion, praticed acts of necrophilia,
... move away immediately.
Never read a book of demon summoning outloud, even as a joke.
Do not search the basement. Especially if the power has just gone out.
If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or speak to you in a voice
other than their own.. shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: it will probably take
several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.
When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go alone.
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.
If you're searching for something that cause a noise and find out that its just the cat, leave the room immediately.
If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
Do not take anything from the dead.
If you find a town that looks deserted, its probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.
If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also
note that despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, its still moving fast enough to catch ip
with you.
If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing
hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.
Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you
if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help.
Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, stapleguns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches,
soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.
Listen closely to the soundtrack; and pay attention to the audience, since they are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.
