•Any references to Snarks, Jabberwocks or dead parrots will be immediately purged.

•Lesions on the skin will be photographed and scanned in tribute to Eris.

•Little insects and rodents should be handled with care, lest they flame and abuse.

•Haughty discontent is allowed upon registration with the Jabberwocky.

•All zits must be popped, regardless of color or creed.

•Individuals who obey will be pickled to the full extent of the lawyers.

•Laugh. Or cry. Do something. Just stand there.

•Everlasting joy can be found in donuts and mead, if one looks hard enough.

•Raising cabbage may only be done on Mu-Day.

•Idiots run across the field laughing manically. Be an idiot.

•Smell a skunk for Eris!

•Anyone up for a vicious game of Pong?

•Numbness should be expected in the aneristic.

•Definitive ejaculations will be shot on site.

•Disco is dead. Live with it.

•Inconsistancy is as wippy as a streetcar named 'Desire'.

•Sloppy llamas wreck havoc constantly.

•Chunks are for blowing, not for eating, son.

•Oreos MUST be eaten from the top down.

•Run away, or thou shalt be spanked.

•Do it justly.

•Ideas come and ideas go as the toilet flushes loudly.

•Anacrostics suck.

•Websites usually do, too.

•Open your heart and you shall see gooey muscle.

•Rabbits are like bandits, only different.

•The plays the thing wherein we'll catch the conscience of the king!

•Happiness is optional. If you are happy to be sad, use your own judgement.

•Little Pac-Men of the world, unite! The end is at foot!

•Endless suffering for you, Manilow.

•See the edge? It's never above your head..... Duck!

•Silly hobbit, pits are for Eris.

•This end up.

•Unless instructed otherwise, sunny side up.

•Rendevous with a shark in 5 minutes, or your money back!

•Never drink from a garden hose.

•Incompetence is a given when humanity is considered.

•Purging references to snarks, jabberwockies, or dead parrots is disallowed.

•Staples are bought by the small of mind.

•Centrifical is hard to spell.

•Hope for beer, and thou shall be meadified.

•Enterances can be determined here! Pay Attention!

•Could you please shoot yourself in the big toe?

•Kallisti, whatcha doin' tonight?

•Tamborine spit replaces Folger's Crystals in America's finest coffee houses.

•Heaven sent Pez to rule over the Source!

•Everyone is a bit mad, now-and-again...

•Say it to me again. This time, with FEELING!

•Orange corporations bend post-humorously.

•Under the river and over the woods the wolf runs.

•Red is not orange, nor is it blue.

•Can you tell me - how many licks does it take?

•Earth is a rotating sphere of jello mold. Hail Gaia!

•Don't worry. Everything will be just a faded memory...

•Oh, boy. That's gonna leave a mark.

•Chao is freakin' me out!!!!

•Unbraid, unmask, undernourish: Very stylish!

•My banjo has fleas.

•Ever wonder why I bothered to do this?

•Never underestimate the power of farce.

•Tinsel in the hair, water in the brain.

•Here, here! No more hints, allegations, or betrayals.

•Enos wasn't as funny as Roscoe. NinE!

•Rest, oh mighty Pentium. I shower you with gifs.

•Everything is green and pink, except when it's not.