You know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song.
The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories.
You remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are gone for the weekend".
You thought “partying like it was 1999” sounded SOOOO far away.
Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language.
You spent hours on end listening to your Teddy Ruxpin tell you stories.
You ever owned one of those embarrassing crimping irons.
You remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the streets and made your old big wheel quite obsolete.
The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter.
You had the entire collection of Rainbow Brite toys.
You're starting to believe that maybe 30 isn't so old after all, and it's those people over 40 you have to look out for.
Your hair, at some point in time in the 80's, became something which can only be described by the phrase "I was experimenting".
Going to keg parties no longer involves hiding out in the woods when the cops show up.
You remember when MTV didn't exist.
You're finding that you just don't understand more than half the lingo used on MTV any more.
You remember when MTV actually played Music Videos.
You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon.
You ever used the phrase "kiss my grits" in conversation.
You spent endless nights dreaming about being the Bionic Woman or Wonder Woman or the Six Million Dollar Man.
You know who shot J.R.
You remember when Madonna was just hitting the scene.
"The Reflex" was a cool song.
You thought "Weird Science" was a masterpiece.
You actually know who Rick Springfield is.
You remember when there was only "G, PG and R", none of this PG-13 crap.
You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still carry the emotional scars to this day.
You were a "wanna be". Madonna, Duran Duran, Michael Jackson, Cyndi Lauper, Boy George, etc.
You know how to use a rotary phone.
Max Headroom was cool.
You know how (or wanted to be able) to Moonwalk!
Atari, IntelliVision, Odyssey and Coleco were the ultimate gaming systems to own.
Leg warmers and headbands alá Pat Benatar once looked really cool to you.
You remember when Jordache jeans with a flat-handle comb in the back pocket was cool.
Jelly bracelets & shoes!
Two words: Big Hair.
You wore Izod polo shirts with the collar up.
You remember "Battlestar Galactica." The Movie, The Series and the Toys.
You owned a Rubik's cube.
You remember when The Scorpions, Van Halen, and even Journey were considered heavy metal.
You wanted to live in Hazzard County, and jumped into your car through the window just cause the Dukes made it look so cool.
You ever had PAC MAN fever.
You spent hours playing Pitfall or Frogger or Asteroids.
You played army with G.I. Joe figures.
You got up on Saturday mornings at 6 a.m. to watch "The Snorks," "Jabberjaw," "Captain Caveman," and "The Smurfs".
You collected all the "Muppet Movie" glasses.
You listened to John Cougar Mellencamp sing about Jack and Diane.
You watched "You Can't Do That on Television" on Nickelodeon.
"I'm a Pepper, you're a Pepper, wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?"
The world stopped when Challenger exploded. Did a teacher come in and tell your class?
You collected Garbage Pail Kids and Cabbage Patch Kids and My Little
Ponies and Hot Wheels and He-Man action figures.
Big Wheels
and bicycles with streamers were the way to go.
Imagination was the key. It made the kitchen table and an old sheet dark enough to be a tent in the forest.
With your pink portable tape player, Debbie Gibson sang back
up to you and everyone wanted a skirt like the Material Girl and a glove
like Michael Jackson's.
Today, you sing along with Bruce Stringsteen and The Bangles perfectly and have no idea why.
You recite lines with the Ghostbusters and still look to The Goonies for a great adventure.
You flip through T.V. stations and stop at The A Team and Knight Rider
and Fame and laugh with The Cosby Show and Family Ties and Punky
Brewster and what you talkin' 'bout Willis?
You hold strong affections for The Muppets and The Gummy Bears and why did they take the Smurfs off the air?
After school specials were only about cigarettes and step-families. We didn’t worry about school shootings.
You read Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys, the Bobbsey Twins, Beverly Clearly and Judy Blume.
You also read the entire “Sweet Valley High” series.
Friendship bracelets were ties you couldn't break and friendship
pins went on shoes - preferably hightop Velcro Reeboks.
You wore unit belts and layered socks and jean jackets
and jams and charm necklaces and side pony tails and just tails.
Rave was a girl's best friend; braces with colored rubberbands made you
cool.
The Sit'n'Spin always made you dizzy but never made you stop.
In your Underoos you were Wonder Woman or Spider Man or R2D2 and in your treehouse you were
king.
In the Eighties,
we redefined the American Dream, and those years defined us. We are the
generation in between strife and facing strife and not turning our
backs. The Eighties may have made us idealistic, but it's that idealism
that will push us and be passed on to our children - the first children
of the twenty-first century. Never forget: We are the children of the
Eighties.
