Part 1
The report was entitled "Extreme Conditions: The Affects of Indefinite Isolation on the Crew of the Federation Starship Voyager." And was written by The Research Committee of the Conference of Ship's Counselors.
Considering the monumental trauma that sent Voyager's crew to the Delta quadrant, the merging of two opposing crews and the near constant threats they faced, this is a remarkably well-adjusted group of individuals. We believe that their ability to put aside their differences and function in a highly efficient and creative manner is due in large part to the structure that Starfleet protocols provide. Captain Janeway and her command staff have set fine examples of strong, fair and compassionate leadership. Under this guidance, the crew has become very close and has managed to build rich lives despite their adversity.
At this time, our only concern for the crew is the personal stress faced by the command staff. Unlike the rest of the crew, we note a general lack of intimate relations amongst the Senior staff. Their logs talk of many hours of work and occasional recreational activity. However, with one exception, there does not seem to be the kind of emotionally and physically intimate relationships that make long term endurance of stress possible. We feel that this avoidance of such relationships may be because of the very same adherence to Starfleet Protocols. There are not many options for relationships amongst the same rank for the Command staff, and it may be a line they have been reluctant to cross. It is not for a lack of interest in these kinds of relationships. We've noted several instances where liaisons were attempted with various aliens Voyager encountered. The results of these have typically been harmful to the crewmen and sometimes endangered the entire ship. Thus Voyager's command staff is left without an outlet for very healthy, basic needs. And they are cutting themselves off from necessary emotional and psychological support for the sake of protocols. We believe that this will eventually erode their effectiveness and possible jeopardize the ship's chances of reaching the Alpha Quadrant. It is the Committee's recommendation that Starfleet Command immediately amend the rules about fraternization between ranks in cases of extreme deep space missions such as this one.
There was a response from Starfleet Command immediately afterward.
Upon reviewing this report and the accompanying logs, we concur with the Research Committee's conclusions. As this is an extreme and unique case and as we want Voyager to be given the every opportunity to return to the Alpha Quadrant, we hereby amend the protocol regarding fraternization between ranks. It is now permissible so long as it is consensual and does not interfere with ship's functions. Captain Janeway is instructed to inform her command staff as soon as possible and then disseminate it to the crew.
Captain Janeway stared at the text on the console for a long time after having finally gotten through the entire thing. She was shocked. She would never have believed Starfleet to have come to such a decision. The mere thought of them ”evaluating” her crew in that matter disturbed her. She had been left unaware of the fact that they had been reading and discussing her crew´s logs, personal and official. The Research Committee´s recommendation had no doubt startled the admirals and captains of Starfleet at first. But, they had agreed.
And here she sat not sure what to do, how to react. Should she be glad that her crew was given more freedom? And what did this mean for her. The report clearly stated that they deemed it especially important for the senior staff, did that include her? Was she really ready to take that step just because Starfleet had said it was okay?
Whatever the implications were for her, the crew deserved to find out about this. But how to tell them? She needed help. She set about sending a copy of the report to Tuvok´s terminal, with a short message that she would like to hear his opinion on the matter. Then she hesitated. How should she tell Chakotay? The thought of just sending him a copy as she had done with Tuvok didn´t seem right. Should she tell him herself? No, she would never be able to get through it. Should she pass him the report in passing telling him to read it at his leisure? No, that would be wrong too.
Not giving herself more time to think about it she tapped her combadge and ordered him to her ready room.
A moment later he arrived but she lost her nerve. She didn´t want to share this with him in her ready room. This was important and it involved not only Chakotay, her first officer, but also Chakotay, her friend.
”Would you mind coming by my quarters this evening at 20.00 hours? There´s something I need to show you.”
”Sure, I´ll be there...should I bring anything?”
”Just be there” she replied
”See you then” he said sounding curious already, and left.
As soon as the doors closed behind him Kathryn let out a sigh and sank down into her chair. How would Chakotay react to this? Would he see it as another chance for them, if he still wanted there to be a them that is, maybe it was presumptuous of her to think so. And if he did, would he tell her straight out how he felt about her? Or would he once again shroud the meaning behind a story? She didn´t know whether she should dread or long for the evening to come.
Despite her conflicted feelings the evening couldn´t come sooner, she was anxious to get it over with. Tuvok had yet to respond to her request and she needed someone to discuss it with. She hoped she could do that with Chakotay without having to feel like they were talking about something else, they needed to be professional.
Then he was there, no doubt curious as to what it was she wanted to show him. Boy, was he in for a surprise, she thought.
”Chakotay thank you for coming...can I get you anything? Have you eaten?”
”I had a bite to eat in the messhall before coming here. I´d love some tea though.”
”Ofcourse.” she headed to the replicator and ordered two cups of tea, she didn´t think she should drink any more coffee, she was already all wound up.
Returning to him she handed him the tea and sat down next to him on the couch.
Then she hesitated. The padd with the entire report was on the coffee table in front of them. She took a deep breath and reached for it.
”This report came in the last data transmission from Earth. I think you´ll find it...interesting.”
He took the padd with a questioning look at her, but she didn´t say anything more. Just leaned back and watched him as he began to read.
While he was reading she took the opportunity to study him discreetly. He had taken off his uniform and was wearing a pair of black pants and a t-shirt. His hair was a little tousled. He had probably taken a shower before coming. She rarely saw him in these kinds of off duty clothes. He looked delicious, and she breifly wondered if he knew how tempted she was to just push him back against the couch and kiss him senseless.
But he was reading THAT padd. The padd that said that it was okay. She was allowed to want to. And if he wanted it too, they should. But was it really that easy?
He was finished. He let out a sound that sounded like a cross between a sigh and what...she couldn´t quite place it. He sunk back on the couch and stared in front of him, no doubt in shock just like she had been. He had always thought that Starfleet was run by a bunch of crazed beurocrats, now those beurocrats had told them something he never thought he´d hear.
They sat like that for a few minutes, she trying to guess what he was thinking, and he...well, he was trying to wrap his head around this, to figure out what it meant. For the crew, for them. Oh Gods, don´t go there Old Man, he said to himself. She´s probably as confused as you are. Now is NOT the time!
He shook his head slightly to clear his mind and looked at her.
Her head was tilted slightly to the side, and she was staring intently at her hands, folding and refolding them in her lap. She looked nervous, and beautiful, he thought. Did this mean that it was okay for him to want to push her back against the couch and kiss her senseless? But what if she didn´t want to, would it hurt more to be rejected now, now when they both knew they were allowed. Maybe she didn´t have those kinds of feelings for him at all, maybe he had just been imagining things, seeing what he wanted to see.
She brought him out of his reverie by looking up at him.
They stared at each other both telling themselves to control their thoughts.
”So what do we do about this? How do we explain this to the crew?”
”I don´t know” she sighed. ”You´re closer to them than I am, do you think this will make a difference? Do you think some of them have refrained from...pairing off because of regulations?”
He leaned back and thought for a minute before answering
”I think some of them may feel releaved if they heard of this. I don´t think anyone has totally refrained to pair off as you put it...(except us his mind screamed) but I do believe some may be going around feeling a little...”
”guilty?” she finished for him
”Yes”.
They were silent again.
”So how do we present this to them?” she said, ”I´m not sure I would be able to explain this to them verbally. Wouldn´t it be better if we just sent this to each of them?”
”We could do that, but I think a lot of them will have questions about what it means. We could tell them that if they do have questions to come and see us.”
”I just hope we´ll be able to answer them” she said and they both smiled for the first time that evening.
With some of the tension gone, she reached forward to pick up the cups.
”The tea has gotten cold, I´ll get some more.”
While she busied herself with the tea, he ran his finger across the padd and remembered something.
”It says here that one of the counselors is a Deanna Troi. Isn´t she the one that the Doctor met when he was sent to Jupiter Station? ”
Kathryn turned around.
”Yes it is, I´d forgotten about that. I wonder if he told her anything that influenced their decision?”
”I suppose it´s possible that he mentioned something, knowing how talkative he is.”
They smiled again and sat in silence sipping their tea. Both of them knew they had more to discuss, but neither of them felt ready for that. Right now they just wanted to be in each others company and try to sort out their feelings for themselves.
Together, but seperately.
As it grew late, they got up from the couch and she walked him to the door. Stopping just before the sensors that would open the door, he turned and they looked at each other once more.
”Good night, Kathryn” he said
”Yes...good night, I´ll see you tomorrow”.
Still he didn´t leave. They were standing closely.
Should I kiss him? she thought
What would happen if I kissed her, would she back away or return it? he wondered.
Just when she thought she´d throw caution to the wind and would do it, he nodded once and headed out the door.
They both quietly got ready for bed, their minds twirling. And the last thing on both of their minds was what the kiss would have felt like.
Part 2
Kathryn woke up with renewed energy. They could handle this, she told herself, they´d figure out a way to tell the crew and answer all their questions. And, hopefully in the process, answer some of their own questions as well.
After the senior staff meeting Tuvok asked to speak with her in private. She didn´t have to guess twice about what it was about.
Retreating to her ready room, she sat down on the couch and motioned him to join.
”So, what did you think of Starfleets latest transmission?” she asked
”I assume you are referring to the report you sent to my terminal. I must say that I was...surprised to read it, Captain. I would not have thought that such a decision would come. May I ask what you plan to do?”
”I discussed it with Chakotay yesterday and we agreed to send a copy of the report to every crewmember. I will make an announcement saying what it is, and that if they have any questions to contact either myself or the commander.”
”I suspect you will receive a number of questions Captain.”
”You´re probably right Tuvok...but what do you think?”
” I can not see any security problems arising from this, Captain. As for the crew, I believe there are some who will feel a sense of relief and that is, of course, positive.”
”Chakotay said so, too” Kathryn murmured more to herself than to him.
Tuvok looked at her for a moment seeming to be pondering something, then he asked
”What do you think of this, Captain?”
”Well, I was, of course, shocked and not a little bit sceptical at first, but I suppose telling the crew about this won´t do any harm. I´m not sure as to how much a change it will actually make...”
”Have you considered applying this...new rule to yourself as well?”
Kathryn was taken aback. What was he asking?!
She sighed,
”Tuvok...as captain, my crew must come first. If at some point in the future I were to wish to apply this to myself, I would not do it lightly.”
”Of course, Captain” If Tuvok was unhappy with the reply, or had expected something else, he didn´t show it. He stood up as if to show that the conversation was over. Kathryn smiled ruefully
”Thank you Tuvok. I will be making the announcement to the crew in one hour.”
Alone with her thoughts again Kathryn wondered what exactly Tuvok had been driving at when he asked if she planned to do anything. Was he just speaking in vague terms or did he have something, or someone, specific in mind? She believed what she had said to him, that the crew must come first. But how long was she prepared to keep that up, and for that matter how long was Chakotay prepared to wait?
Maybe, just maybe, she had come to that vague point in the future she had always thought of. The point in which the crew was as safe and well adjusted as they could be in the Delta Quadrant. The point in which she felt safe in her command and friendship with Chakotay that she could do this.
She thought back to their conversation the previous evening. Oh how she had longed to kiss him, and for a moment she had thought she would. She had seen something in his eyes, something she hadn´t seen in a very long time…desire. Just the thought of it made her knees a little weak.
She forcebly broke herself out of her thoughts and started dictating the announcement to the crew. She would deal with what to do with Chakotay later.
Part 3
Later just never seemed to come. Either she made an excuse to postpone it or he did. Neither of them knew exactly what they were postponing, but they knew that the minute the two of them spent time together it was awkward. It came to the point where they always made sure to have others present whenever they had to talk, even if the others weren´t in on the conversation.
Thus came that the captains and first officers meetings were held in the messhall.
They had made their announcement to the crew and for a few days there was a general feeling of confusion. The two of them got a few requests for talks about the decision, but they always chose to handle them seperately. It was easier giving good advice when the other wasn´t sitting in the same room. In truth, they were doing exactly what they had told their crew not to, make it an issue. But, they told themselves, it wasn´t that easy, or was it...
Tuvok seemed to know what was going on. He never said anything but he noticed the change in their relationship and pondered on how long they would be able to go on that way. It never ceased to amaze him how humans stubbornly postponed the inevitable, and in this case he was facing two very stubborn humans.
When later finally came she was in the turbolift on her way to her quarters for some sleep when it stopped to pick another person up, it was him. She hadn´t had time to prepare and school her features and the look of panic on her face was so evident it made Chakotay stop in his tracks.
Kathryn immediately felt guilty and tried to force a smile at him but knew it came out as forced as it was. Great, she thought to herself, just go make it worse why don´t you.
”We have to do something about this.” Chakotay said.
His voice sounded tired and sad, she thought. And come to think of it, he looks even worse. Why haven´t I noticed that before? she asked herself.
”I know” she said ” Will you join me in my quarters?”
He nodded, and they proceeded in silence. Both of them half wished to be called to the bridge in some emergency, but the bigger part of them knew that it was no longer possible to postpone the inevitable.
Part 4
”So...” she said as they were sitting in her quarters.
”So...”
Boy this is going well she thought
”Kathryn?”
”Yes?”
”Umm...if I ask you a question, will you promise to answer honestly, yes or no?”
Uh oh! she thought. She couldn´t speak, so she just nodded.
”Do...do you love me?” he almost whispered it. The minute the words left his mouth he regretted it. Why set yourself up to be disappointed like that, idiot? he thought.
Whatever Kathryn had thought he would ask, it wasn´t that. And now that he had, she wondered what she should answer. She knew the answer, of course, but should she tell him? What would happen if she did?
For years to come, both of them would look back on that moment and know they had both been truly afraid. Afraid of the answer, afraid of the implications of the answer. But Kathryn knew there could only be one response.
She moved closer to him on the couch, took his face between her hands, kissed him lightly once and said solemly
”Oh my love, you have no idea how much I love you”.
Whatever Chakotay thought or hoped she would say - this was beyond what he could have hoped for! He knew he looked shocked when she laughed out right and pulled him into a fearce hug. It took him a minute but he soon responded to her with a crushing embrace of his own.
They sat there for a long time, saying each others names reverently, whispering words of love.
Eventually they seperated slightly. Chakotay leaned back against the couch, bringing Kathryn down with him.
”Do you know what I was thinking the last time we sat on this couch?”
”What?”
”I kept thinking about how I wanted to push you against the couch and kiss you senseless.” he said.
Hearing her own thoughts echoed, Kathryn lifted her head from his chest and looked at him.
”I like they way your mind works, Commander” she said, and started giving him that searing kiss they had both wanted. It just went on and on. She lost herself in the feel of his lips pressed against hers, nibbling, biting, and licking. As the kiss deepened, she moved one of her legs to the other side of him so she was straddling him. Her fingers traveled lower and began working on the buttons of his shirt. Breaking the kiss, she swore over the amount of buttons. Giving up, she ripped it off.
”Impatient?” he asked, smiling.
”You have no idea!” she said. She pushed the shirt off his shoulders, leaving his bare chest open to her. Kissing a path across his jaw and neck, her hands were busy touching every part of his skin she could reach.
His hands were not idle. They had started in her hair and had continued down her spine and round her hips to stroke her stomach and breasts. As he pressed his hands firmly against her still covered breasts she moaned and pressed them against his hands. He then started to remove her uniform jacket and then turtleneck. Seeing the bra she wore he chuckled,
”Not exactly starfleet issue, Captain” he said.
”I won´t tell anyone if you don´t.”
”Your secret´s safe with me.” he said, removing her bra and feasting his eyes on her breasts. Bending his head slightly, he took one of her nipples fully into his mouth and sucked at it. She gasped arching her back to allow him more access. While his mouth was playing with one of her breasts his hand was doing the same with her other breast. Kathryn gasped at the feelings he evoked, feelings she hadn´t felt for way too long. She felt the gush of wetness between her legs and her desire was only hightened when she felt his erection straining to get out of his pants as she straddled him.
Quickly she pushed him away and stood up on the floor and started taking the rest of her clothes off. He smiled and followed suit. Standing close and bare naked, their lips and bodies were pressed against each other. Kathryn felt like a bolt of lightning went through her when she felt her sensitive breasts pressed against his chest. His hands were traveling along her waist, hips and across her back. When they reached her buttocks she lifted one of her legs and wrapped it around his waist. They both groaned at the contact. Her wet mound was pressing against his pelvis and his straining erection was throbbing in between them.
They moaned into each others mouths
”Gods, Kathryn...I can´t stand it much longer... I need you”
”Then take me, Chakotay” she whispered back. They seperated again and simultaniously dropped to the floor.
Kathryn lay back and said seductively ”Come on, Chakotay.”
Chakotay groaned at the sight and leaned forward to kiss her before setting himself between her legs. He lifted her hips to him and thrust his hips forward so that just the tip of his penis was in her.
Kathryn groaned in frustration and opened her eyes.
”Don´t tease me Chakotay, I´ll get back at you for this later!”
”I can´t wait.” was all he said before thrusting into her in one move. They both moaned at the sensation and quickly established a rhythm, thrusting towards each other at a quicker and quicker pace, grinding their their bodies together.
”Ahhhh yesss... oh Kathryn!” he panted
”Yesss, Chakotay...fuck me harder...ohhh God”
They were beyond thought, beyond words, both driving fast towards their goal, no intelligent words came from them now, just carnal cries and moans and grunts. He had her hips in a hard grip and slammed into her with hard fast thrusts. Her arms had moved up and were gripping the legs of the coffee table. She screamed as the shock wave hit her and lifted her ass up into the air. Almost simultaneously he cried her name in a deep guttural cry that resonated throughout the room and spasmed deep within her.
The room fell silent apart from the couple laying on the floor gasping for breath.
Part 5
”Nervous?”
”No...we have no reason to be nervous...do we?” Kathryn looked unsure.
”Of course not.” Chakotay replied. ”I´m sure we won´t have everyones eyes on us when we walk onto the bridge, analyzing our every word and every look...”
”Oh God!” Kathryn broke out burying her face in her hands.
”Computer, halt turbolift.” he said, laughing and turned to put his hands on Kathryns shoulders. He looked down at her lovingly.
”Kathryn, don´t be nervous, you have no reason to be...”
”But you just said...”
”Forget about what I said, I was wrong. Even if they do notice that something has happened, so what? As long as we don´t let our personal lives interfere with our professional lives, it doesn´t matter if the whole ship knows. And we won´t be distracted. We´ll walk out onto that bridge and everything will be as it should be.”
Kathryn took a deep breath, she knew he was right, and what did it matter if the bridge crew sensed something...
”You´re right.” she said nodding.
He looked at her for a little while longer and then stood at her side again and told the computer to resume its course.
She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. She was so lucky to have him, and she almost burst with love. That evening she planned to show him just how much she loved him. But those thoughts would have to wait. Her last thought as they strode onto the bridge was that he was right again, everything was as it should be.
THE END
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