On an Empty Stomach

Authors Note: I didn´t mean for this story to turn out like this but I hope you like it anyway.

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Paramount.

Well this is it, after 7 years 5 months and 2 days we´re home. The Alpha Quadrant never seemed so small. It never felt so alien either. It´s a strange feeling to know which solar system is coming up next in our travels, and I know exactly what the species who lives there is like, I´ve even been there several times. Starfleets flagship, the Enterprise-E is coming to greet us and will be escorting us back to Earth. I´ve never met Captain Picard. I´m nervous. Everyone is nervous, I can tell. Nobody knows what will happen, not even those of us who were part of the original crew. You never know what Starfleet will think of. They´ve been through a rough war they wouldn´t want to start a process to hunt down a few lonely maquis crewmembers…or would they? And from what I´ve heard Cardassia is in know shape to fight anyone.
I´m still nervous. But there is something else too. A feeling of loss, and sorrow. I love these people, I really do. I love the way they work together as a team and accomplish miracles. I love they way I can watch them at social functions and see them having a good time together. I love the fact that we really are such a motley crew, and we fit so well together.
I´m really going to miss them.
I´m going to miss Chakotay.
Ofcourse, he´s my first officer, he´s part of that motley crew I was talking about…….
But there´s more, he´s my friend, my best friend, we´ve been through so much together, he knows me so well, and I´d like to think that I know him well too.
He´s on his way, our last dinner on Voyager, at least together. We won´t be able to have candlelit dinners with the captain of the Enterprise breathing down our necks.
This time I know it´s our last dinner. 2 years ago I thought it was, before testing the slipstream drive but it didn´t pan out. But this time there´s no getting away from it.
He´s here. He´s sitting on my couch smiling. But I can tell somethings wrong. I guess I do know him pretty well. His smile hasn´t reaches is eyes, and his dimples aren´t showing. “Chakotay” I say and sit down next to him. “What´s wrong?”
“Nothing´s wrong Kathryn” he says and takes a sip from his drink. I know he´s lying. And suddenly I sense something very familiar about this whole situation and it makes me laugh. “Kathryn..what are you laughing about?”
Catching my breath I respond “I just feel like this whole conversation is supposed to be the other way round. Usually it´s you who´s asking me what´s wrong and me saying that I´m fine”.
He chuckled but his smile quickly grew grim.
“I´m going to miss you Kathryn”.
I take a deep breath and smile at him “I´m going to miss you too Chakotay”.
We sit there for a while thinking. I don´t know what he´s thinking about but I´m thinking about him and I know that this is probably the last time we have to really talk in a long time and I know there´s something I have to do.
“Don´t go away I´ll be right back”. I say and walk to my bedroom. I go to the dresser, in the bottom drawer I find what I´m looking for, just the way I left it.
Walking back to the couch I hold to in front of him
“Here, this is for you”.
It´s a painting, a very old painting, of New Earth. More specifically it´s Chakotay and me, sitting by the Talaxian tomatoes I planted. In the background you can see our house.
Chakotay doesn´t say anything. I sit down again, let him take his time, I´m sure he´ll have questions when he´s done. It seems like he´s studying every little inch of the painting. It was one of my very first and I´m alittle apprehensive and I begin to think that this wasn´t a very good idea. Then he looks up at me and smiles, a real smile, with the dimples and all.
“Kathryn I don´t know what to say, this is beautiful. When did you make it?
I grin a little sheepishly ”I made it for you birthday…on New Earth.”
“Oh… you´ve been holding on to this for all these years?”
“Well, when we came back to Voyager things were so crazy I missed your birthday and then there was that whole thing with the Kazon. And after that it had gone so long that I felt silly giving it to you”.
“But you don´t feel silly now, five years later?”
“No, not really. The truth is, we´ve never really talked about New Earth and I didn´t want to make either of us uncomfortable.”
“Oh” He just said and got up from the couch. “Why is that anyway?” He asked finally.
“What?”
“Why do we never talk about New Earth?”
Okay, he asked, he deserves an honest answer, and face it you´ve given him the painting, why not go for broke.
I got up and walked to stand next to him by the window.
“Chakotay…our time on New Earth was very special to me, for alot of reasons, I got to know you better for example. I´ve often asked myself what would have happened to us had we not been rescued. And part of the reason to why I´ve never talked about New Earth is the answer I got when I asked myself that question.”
“What answer was that?” He asked turning to face me. His eyes were questioning, but there was an uncertainty and even alittle hope in his eyes.
Okay Kathryn, this is it, no turning back now
I still couldn´t find the words, so I showed him. I put my hand on the back of his head and guided his mouth to mine. His eyes were wide open in shock.
I could almost hear his mind battling over how to proceed when our lips finally met. I took a step closer to him and let my other hand join the other at the back of his neck.
After only seconds I could feel him responding, his lips were firm but soft against mine and he began to return to kiss with everything he had, probably still not sure what was going on.
I don´t know how long we stood there kissing, it could be seconds it could be minutes. But we were interrupted by my stomach growling.
We broke apart and looked at each other, then we burst out laughing.
“I take it your hungry” he said when the laughter had died down.
“Well I did invite you to dinner remember”.
“Hey don´t blame me, I´m not the one who started the kissing” he said pulling me to him. I looked up into his smiling eyes, “No, I started the kissing, and I´d like to keep it up if you don´t mind?”
“Oh Kathryn my love…anytime”
“Good” I said, “but let´s eat first”.


The End

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