“Yes.” Chakotay said not looking at her, not being able to, for fear of changing his mind.
“What am I supposed to tell the crew? How do you explain leaving so suddenly?”
Chakotay sighed. “It’s not sudden Kathryn. I’ve been thinking about leaving for quite a while. This is just the right time, the right planet. “
“So tell me why you’re leaving.” Kathryn pleaded. “Tell me what I can do to change your mind.”
Chakotay wished she would stop, whished she would just accept it and move on like she used to do with things. He didn’t want to have to answer her questions.
“Answer me!”
“There are no easy answers Kathryn. No one reason. And it’s not your fault, don’t blame yourself. You are who you are, and despite all our differences I wouldn’t want you to be different.”
“What kind of an answer is that?!” Kathryn cried, tears falling unashamedly now, but Chakotay still had his back turned to her so he didn’t see them. He didn’t see her heart breaking.
He didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. He had nothing to say even though he probably had everything to say.
He took a step forward, toward the transporter pad, away from her.
“Chakotay...!” Kathryn cried
His step halted but then kept going, steeling himself for the moment when he had to turn around.
It was worse than he had expected. As he turned around he saw her face, tear stained and sad, looking at him with sorrow and anger. But most of all, hurt.
And then she uttered the words he would always remember.
“I guess forever isn’t such a long time after all huh Commander?”
With that she activated the transporter and watched him disappear.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Four days went by and the ship was feeling the loss of its commander greatly. Not only the actual change of duties for some, Tuvok mainly but it was the emotional impact that was felt.
Commander Chakotay had grown to become well liked and respected by everyone and the fact that he hadn’t wanted to continue the journey with them hit everybody hard.
But it hurt the Captain the most and try as she might she couldn’t hide the fact from her crew.
Yes, it’s your crew now Kathryn. Not our crew anymore.
She was sitting in her quarters staring into space as she so often did these days.
Contemplating the past and the future. Wondering what had driven Chakotay so far from her, so far from them. So far from the life they all led. Heavens knew it wasn’t a perfect life and everyone knew it. But she thought that they had found some kind of peace, a routine.
Peace. He said he had found peace in you. Where did that peacefulness go?
Kathryn shook her head, knowing that the way her thoughts were going the end result would be tears, just as it had been the previous four nights, ever since he had left.
So she settled down for an early night full of dreams of Chakotay.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The next day B´Elanna came to see her in her office. The Chief Engineer had taken Chakotay´s leaving awfully hard and had been hard to get along with ever since.
Even Tom hadn’t been able to calm her down.
“Captain I found something.” She said without any preliminaries and sat down next to the Captain.
“What is it?” The Captain asked, thankful for the distraction.
“I was going through some old files, you know sorting out the junk, and I came across these.”
B´Elanna handed a padd to the Captain who leaned back and started perusing them.
After only a minute Kathryn’s head jerked up and looked at B´Elanna. Stunned she racked her brain for a logical explanation for what she was reading. She couldn’t find any.
“Have any others seen this?” She asked.
“No Captain, I found it just this morning and when I saw it...well I figured it was best to bring it straight to you.”
“I’m glad you did B´Elanna thank you. Do you mind if I keep this for a while?”
“Not at all Captain.” B´Elanna got up to leave. Before she took the step to activate the door opener she turned and said.
“Captain I thought Chakotay´s leaving was odd, I hope we’re able to straighten this out.”
Kathryn nodded. “So do I B´Elanna. So do I.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Three hours later Kathryn and B´Elanna had a plan. It wasn’t a full working plan but it was the best they could come up with. It all hinged on that Kathryn knew Chakotay as well as she thought she did. If not, well, they would think of something.
With the first feeling of something resembling enthusiasm in the past five days she entered the bridge and gave her orders.
“Lieutenant Paris we’re making a change of plans. I’m sending you coordinates, follow them.”
“Raising his eyebrows in wonder Tom could only obey.
“Captain?” Tuvok said expecting an answer.
“I can’t answer you Tuvok. Everything will become clear eventually.”
Tuvok was obviously not thrilled with the answer but had that much faith in his Captain that he kept his mouth shut and returned to scanning the region, looking out for any hostile ships that might be out there. He also checked the weapons status; he had a feeling they were going to need them.
An hour later Tom announced that they were nearing the coordinates.
“Ensign Kim start scanning for Human life signs.”
“Aye Captain...I have one...it´s the Commander! He´s on the moon where we mined dilithium a week ago. I can’t get a lock on him though, there’s too much shielding.”
“Thank you Ensign. Janeway to Torres, we’re ready.”
“Acknowledged Captain.” The voice of B´Elanna came through the comm-signal.
It was now obvious to those on the bridge that the two women had something planned and they were all rather sure that it had something to do with Commander Chakotay. They just didn’t have a clue as to what.
“Tuvok raise shields and activate a torpedo and point it in this direction.” The Captain entered a direction in Tuvok´s console.
“Aye Captain.” Tuvok replied, this time with a bit more hesitation in his voice.
Kathryn heard the hesitation and turned to Tuvok, resting her hand on his shoulder she replied softly.
“Don’t have any doubts my friend, as soon as this is over I will explain, but for now you just have to trust me and Lieutenant Torres.”
Tuvok nodded and Kathryn smiled, squeezing her friends’ shoulder lightly.
“Torres to Janeway.”
“Janeway here.”
“Captain I have what we’re looking for and everything was exactly as we thought it would be.”
“Thank you B´Elanna. Come up to the bridge now.”
“I’m on my way Captain. Torres out.”
Half an hour later nothing had changed. Except for the restlessness of the male members of the bridge crew.
The only ones who were calm, and knew what was going, on were Kathryn and B´Elanna and they were either away in the ready room discussing the situation or sitting at their stations looking through the data.
And then it came. As if on cue four ships appeared out of nowhere and started firing everything they had at Voyager. The crew quickly summarized the situation and relayed it to the Captain who sat in her chair, giving orders when needed.
“B´Elanna?”
“I’m on it Captain.”
Again it was only the two women who knew what was going on when suddenly a bright flash of light emanated from the planet and the crew shielded their eyes from the blinding light.
When they could see again the four ships were high tailing it out of there.
“Captain the shielding around the planet is gone, I can beam the commander up.”
“Then by all means do so Ensign.” The Captain replied.
“Captain the Commander chose to leave the ship and his duties, we should honour his wish to remain away.”
“I don’t think the Commander will mind being beamed up Tuvok.” The Captain said, all the while smiling at B´Elanna.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Captain waited on the sidelines when crewmembers greeted Commander Chakotay. She watched him smile and greet the happy crewmembers, heard him promise to explain everything.
People started filing out of the room, leaving only the two of them.
“Kathryn...”
“You don’t have to explain Chakotay.”
“But I want to.” He stepped up to her, taking her hand in his. “I want you to know without a doubt that I would never leave you like I did. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
Kathryn smiled and cupped his cheek.
“Thank you for saying that Chakotay. When it was happening I was so angry and hurt but I know that it was necessary that not even I know what was truly going on, the spy might have been tapping me.”
“I’m just glad it worked as planned. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn’t come back.”
Kathryn sighed and wrapped her arms around Chakotay, burying herself in his warm embrace.
“I would have come back eventually Chakotay. You’re stuck with me. Forever”
Chakotay smiled and laid a kiss on her hair.
“Thank goodness forever is a long time then.” Chakotay said.
And Kathryn let out a happy laugh and with her arm wrapped around him walked out into the corridor and her quarters.
THE END
